it should be ok to question sudden revelations about gender dysphoria

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is so much more public talk about rape and sexual harassment these days than there used to be. It's great for women (and girls) who were raped, but maybe it's scaring girls into not wanting to be girls to keep them safe.

It’s more that being a woman sucks overall compared to being a man and women are finally able be like, uh, this sucks. The solution is to make it suck less to be a woman, and especially suck less to be a woman who doesn’t care to present stereotypically feminine.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, one more thing: I found a therapist that does Tapping for trauma and anxiety, and after one session DD is already feeling less stressed and anxious.

OP, can you please share more about tapping? And if you are in DMV, will you please share provider?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow, I didnt realize I wrote that in 2020.

DD now 15 is doing so much better. She still identifies as non binary, but has completey accepted her feminine body. She has a girlfriend going on one year now who also identifies as non binary.

DD accepts that I tried but failed to integrate they them pronouns into our communications, but she understands that its not because I do not accept her identification. In fact her acceptance of they/she is organic to her.

She has also for reasons unknown suddenly decided she wants a male therapist, and I found one! A DBT therapist who happens to be male. Wasnt looking for that, but its who was available, and she later revealed this was something she wanted. Prior to that, she definitely did NOT want that.

She worked with a (female) therapist for some time who helped her work through some traumas. Good work done at the time when she was ready to do it.

Her level of self acceptance has been hard won, but its arrived. At least the foundations for it have been laid.

She no longer has an interest in binders. She alternates between different looks, and I find her sports bras that allow her to have different levels of support/flatness. A creature of comfort, she doesnt wear them for long.

Antidepressant medication made a HUGE difference along with the therapy.

We talk openly about her attraction to girls and boys, and I playfully tease her about being clearly more attracted to girls. SHe jokes that the saying that bi girls/non binaries have is: "Im bi, which means Im attracted to girls and a few anime characters".

Haha. Glad to hear she’s doing well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[

I've had this exact argument with my DD about nonbinary. She called me transphobic and I pointed out that many nonbinary people don't identify as trans, so I can't be transphophobic by pointing out that it's actually just creating another label that actually NARROWS the definition of woman. Now, does a butch lesbian who doesn't wear makeup have have to reject womanhood and she/her and be non-binary? Why?

I have found that discussing being non-binary, or queer with my DD is a lost cause. It almost always ends in her calling me homophobic or transphobic (I’m not). Remember that teenagers are always right

[Anonymous]

My 13 year old has gone from non-binary to saying that they are a trans boy. And are asking for hormone therapy. I have my doubts that they will identify that way forever and gave a hard no on the hormones at this age.

I tell them that I love them no matter what and I believe that at that moment they feel like a boy but that I see gender identity as a spectrum and that they are still on their journey to see where on the spectrum they are as they reach adulthood. Where they are on the spectrum may well change through adulthood as well.
I try to use they/them pronouns, validate that they are gender non-conforming and they have a binder that they sometimes wear to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old has gone from non-binary to saying that they are a trans boy. And are asking for hormone therapy. I have my doubts that they will identify that way forever and gave a hard no on the hormones at this age.

I tell them that I love them no matter what and I believe that at that moment they feel like a boy but that I see gender identity as a spectrum and that they are still on their journey to see where on the spectrum they are as they reach adulthood. Where they are on the spectrum may well change through adulthood as well.
I try to use they/them pronouns, validate that they are gender non-conforming and they have a binder that they sometimes wear to school.

A binder will cause the breasts to look weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old has gone from non-binary to saying that they are a trans boy. And are asking for hormone therapy. I have my doubts that they will identify that way forever and gave a hard no on the hormones at this age.

I tell them that I love them no matter what and I believe that at that moment they feel like a boy but that I see gender identity as a spectrum and that they are still on their journey to see where on the spectrum they are as they reach adulthood. Where they are on the spectrum may well change through adulthood as well.
I try to use they/them pronouns, validate that they are gender non-conforming and they have a binder that they sometimes wear to school.

Hormone therapy or puberty blockers? They are two different things. You can still take puberty blockers even after puberty has started.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old has gone from non-binary to saying that they are a trans boy. And are asking for hormone therapy. I have my doubts that they will identify that way forever and gave a hard no on the hormones at this age.

I tell them that I love them no matter what and I believe that at that moment they feel like a boy but that I see gender identity as a spectrum and that they are still on their journey to see where on the spectrum they are as they reach adulthood. Where they are on the spectrum may well change through adulthood as well.
I try to use they/them pronouns, validate that they are gender non-conforming and they have a binder that they sometimes wear to school.

Hormone therapy or puberty blockers? They are two different things. You can still take puberty blockers even after puberty has started.

The binder is more like a compression undershirt. I bought it a size bigger than they suggested on the site so it is more like a minimizer than a binder. https://www.gc2b.co/collections/gc2b-all-nude/products/nude-no-4-tank
I would say it is about as tight as a good sports bra.

They are saying hormone therapy.
The ship has sailed on the boobs...they are easily a D or DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old has gone from non-binary to saying that they are a trans boy. And are asking for hormone therapy. I have my doubts that they will identify that way forever and gave a hard no on the hormones at this age.

I tell them that I love them no matter what and I believe that at that moment they feel like a boy but that I see gender identity as a spectrum and that they are still on their journey to see where on the spectrum they are as they reach adulthood. Where they are on the spectrum may well change through adulthood as well.
I try to use they/them pronouns, validate that they are gender non-conforming and they have a binder that they sometimes wear to school.

Hormone therapy or puberty blockers? They are two different things. You can still take puberty blockers even after puberty has started.

The binder is more like a compression undershirt. I bought it a size bigger than they suggested on the site so it is more like a minimizer than a binder. https://www.gc2b.co/collections/gc2b-all-nude/products/nude-no-4-tank
I would say it is about as tight as a good sports bra.

They are saying hormone therapy.
The ship has sailed on the boobs...they are easily a D or DD.

DD sucks even for someone who wants breasts. If still growing, very likely they’ll be able to get insurance for a reduction at least in a couple more years. It could save back problems in their future.

Anyway, puberty blockers will halt continued puberty. It’s just an option. It won’t make them a man, it just puts a pause on puberty where they are until they are older and gives them some time to think, age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old has gone from non-binary to saying that they are a trans boy. And are asking for hormone therapy. I have my doubts that they will identify that way forever and gave a hard no on the hormones at this age.

I tell them that I love them no matter what and I believe that at that moment they feel like a boy but that I see gender identity as a spectrum and that they are still on their journey to see where on the spectrum they are as they reach adulthood. Where they are on the spectrum may well change through adulthood as well.
I try to use they/them pronouns, validate that they are gender non-conforming and they have a binder that they sometimes wear to school.

Hormone therapy or puberty blockers? They are two different things. You can still take puberty blockers even after puberty has started.

The binder is more like a compression undershirt. I bought it a size bigger than they suggested on the site so it is more like a minimizer than a binder. https://www.gc2b.co/collections/gc2b-all-nude/products/nude-no-4-tank
I would say it is about as tight as a good sports bra.

They are saying hormone therapy.
The ship has sailed on the boobs...they are easily a D or DD.

DD sucks even for someone who wants breasts. If still growing, very likely they’ll be able to get insurance for a reduction at least in a couple more years. It could save back problems in their future.

Anyway, puberty blockers will halt continued puberty. It’s just an option. It won’t make them a man, it just puts a pause on puberty where they are until they are older and gives them some time to think, age.

Totally agree! Once they are done growing we will look into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old has gone from non-binary to saying that they are a trans boy. And are asking for hormone therapy. I have my doubts that they will identify that way forever and gave a hard no on the hormones at this age.

I tell them that I love them no matter what and I believe that at that moment they feel like a boy but that I see gender identity as a spectrum and that they are still on their journey to see where on the spectrum they are as they reach adulthood. Where they are on the spectrum may well change through adulthood as well.
I try to use they/them pronouns, validate that they are gender non-conforming and they have a binder that they sometimes wear to school.

Hormone therapy or puberty blockers? They are two different things. You can still take puberty blockers even after puberty has started.

The binder is more like a compression undershirt. I bought it a size bigger than they suggested on the site so it is more like a minimizer than a binder. https://www.gc2b.co/collections/gc2b-all-nude/products/nude-no-4-tank
I would say it is about as tight as a good sports bra.

They are saying hormone therapy.
The ship has sailed on the boobs...they are easily a D or DD.

DD sucks even for someone who wants breasts. If still growing, very likely they’ll be able to get insurance for a reduction at least in a couple more years. It could save back problems in their future.

Anyway, puberty blockers will halt continued puberty. It’s just an option. It won’t make them a man, it just puts a pause on puberty where they are until they are older and gives them some time to think, age.

puberty is not a video tape and you can't just pause it. many many things can go wrong with merely pausing puberty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old has gone from non-binary to saying that they are a trans boy. And are asking for hormone therapy. I have my doubts that they will identify that way forever and gave a hard no on the hormones at this age.

I tell them that I love them no matter what and I believe that at that moment they feel like a boy but that I see gender identity as a spectrum and that they are still on their journey to see where on the spectrum they are as they reach adulthood. Where they are on the spectrum may well change through adulthood as well.
I try to use they/them pronouns, validate that they are gender non-conforming and they have a binder that they sometimes wear to school.

Hormone therapy or puberty blockers? They are two different things. You can still take puberty blockers even after puberty has started.

The binder is more like a compression undershirt. I bought it a size bigger than they suggested on the site so it is more like a minimizer than a binder. https://www.gc2b.co/collections/gc2b-all-nude/products/nude-no-4-tank
I would say it is about as tight as a good sports bra.

They are saying hormone therapy.
The ship has sailed on the boobs...they are easily a D or DD.

DD sucks even for someone who wants breasts. If still growing, very likely they’ll be able to get insurance for a reduction at least in a couple more years. It could save back problems in their future.

Anyway, puberty blockers will halt continued puberty. It’s just an option. It won’t make them a man, it just puts a pause on puberty where they are until they are older and gives them some time to think, age.

It’s still dangerous and puts them at risk for things like osteoporosis at a young age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old has gone from non-binary to saying that they are a trans boy. And are asking for hormone therapy. I have my doubts that they will identify that way forever and gave a hard no on the hormones at this age.

I tell them that I love them no matter what and I believe that at that moment they feel like a boy but that I see gender identity as a spectrum and that they are still on their journey to see where on the spectrum they are as they reach adulthood. Where they are on the spectrum may well change through adulthood as well.
I try to use they/them pronouns, validate that they are gender non-conforming and they have a binder that they sometimes wear to school.

Hormone therapy or puberty blockers? They are two different things. You can still take puberty blockers even after puberty has started.

The binder is more like a compression undershirt. I bought it a size bigger than they suggested on the site so it is more like a minimizer than a binder. https://www.gc2b.co/collections/gc2b-all-nude/products/nude-no-4-tank
I would say it is about as tight as a good sports bra.

They are saying hormone therapy.
The ship has sailed on the boobs...they are easily a D or DD.

DD sucks even for someone who wants breasts. If still growing, very likely they’ll be able to get insurance for a reduction at least in a couple more years. It could save back problems in their future.

Anyway, puberty blockers will halt continued puberty. It’s just an option. It won’t make them a man, it just puts a pause on puberty where they are until they are older and gives them some time to think, age.

It’s still dangerous and puts them at risk for things like osteoporosis at a young age.

If a teen is showing significant dysphoriarelated to a disconnect to their gender, it’s certainly worth raising with a doctor to discuss risks and benefits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old has gone from non-binary to saying that they are a trans boy. And are asking for hormone therapy. I have my doubts that they will identify that way forever and gave a hard no on the hormones at this age.

I tell them that I love them no matter what and I believe that at that moment they feel like a boy but that I see gender identity as a spectrum and that they are still on their journey to see where on the spectrum they are as they reach adulthood. Where they are on the spectrum may well change through adulthood as well.
I try to use they/them pronouns, validate that they are gender non-conforming and they have a binder that they sometimes wear to school.

Hormone therapy or puberty blockers? They are two different things. You can still take puberty blockers even after puberty has started.

The binder is more like a compression undershirt. I bought it a size bigger than they suggested on the site so it is more like a minimizer than a binder. https://www.gc2b.co/collections/gc2b-all-nude/products/nude-no-4-tank
I would say it is about as tight as a good sports bra.

They are saying hormone therapy.
The ship has sailed on the boobs...they are easily a D or DD.

DD sucks even for someone who wants breasts. If still growing, very likely they’ll be able to get insurance for a reduction at least in a couple more years. It could save back problems in their future.

Anyway, puberty blockers will halt continued puberty. It’s just an option. It won’t make them a man, it just puts a pause on puberty where they are until they are older and gives them some time to think, age.

puberty is not a video tape and you can't just pause it. many many things can go wrong with merely pausing puberty.

+1000. Cannot believe some of the naive disinformation here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old has gone from non-binary to saying that they are a trans boy. And are asking for hormone therapy. I have my doubts that they will identify that way forever and gave a hard no on the hormones at this age.

I tell them that I love them no matter what and I believe that at that moment they feel like a boy but that I see gender identity as a spectrum and that they are still on their journey to see where on the spectrum they are as they reach adulthood. Where they are on the spectrum may well change through adulthood as well.
I try to use they/them pronouns, validate that they are gender non-conforming and they have a binder that they sometimes wear to school.

Hormone therapy or puberty blockers? They are two different things. You can still take puberty blockers even after puberty has started.

The binder is more like a compression undershirt. I bought it a size bigger than they suggested on the site so it is more like a minimizer than a binder. https://www.gc2b.co/collections/gc2b-all-nude/products/nude-no-4-tank
I would say it is about as tight as a good sports bra.

They are saying hormone therapy.
The ship has sailed on the boobs...they are easily a D or DD.

DD sucks even for someone who wants breasts. If still growing, very likely they’ll be able to get insurance for a reduction at least in a couple more years. It could save back problems in their future.

Anyway, puberty blockers will halt continued puberty. It’s just an option. It won’t make them a man, it just puts a pause on puberty where they are until they are older and gives them some time to think, age.

It’s still dangerous and puts them at risk for things like osteoporosis at a young age.

If a teen is showing significant dysphoriarelated to a disconnect to their gender, it’s certainly worth raising with a doctor to discuss risks and benefits.

PP here.
Thanks for the advice. They have a therapist and a psychiatrist and we have had lots of discussions with them. Right now we are all on the same page of waiting until 16 and then reassessing.