it should be ok to question sudden revelations about gender dysphoria
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Anonymous
Yes, in the states. There are many good ones. |
Anonymous
| OP, you do know that actually transitioning genders is a long, complicated process and that no kid anywhere is reassigned simply because they say they're trans, right? |
Anonymous
| My daughter has started they/them pronouns and I’m having a hard time with it. She is 18 and I feel like it’s a lot different then being 11 or 12. I’m suspicious that too many Instagram or TikTok influencers are getting to her. Personally I don’t like this whole part of the “woke” agenda and I’ll only come across as being a Trumper (Hell no, I’m not) if I say anything. So I say nothing, and secretly cry because I want my beautiful daughter to be a girl. |
Anonymous
No kid anywhere? What about Jazz Jennings? |
Anonymous
Not all trans people know when they are little. I thought this too, but often puberty will bring up feelings of dysphoria when your body starts changing. I’m just telling you because I believed that too. It’s what you see in the media on shows like I Am Jazz and such. I have an older trans teen (AMAB), and I admit that I also noticed the large group of natal girls identifying as NB or trans even before my kid came out. The thing is that if your kid is older, you really only have so many choices between not accepting and pushing them away and accepting. If I’d had a natal girl, I would have probably not let her start hormones before 18 because puberty would have basically been over, but boys continue to get more masculine, so we let our child go on hormones. |
Anonymous
Well, it is long, but getting hormones is not very difficult with parental consent, and of course if you’re 18, you don’t need a parent’s permission. The other parts are long…social transition, hair removal for trans women, if you want surgery that can take time, money, recovery time. It is a long process but not that hard to start the process. I don’t KNOW if you always need a therapist, although we have one. But they don’t generally tell you what you should do. Honestly, I know that for my AMAB kid, it’s stressful, hair removal is painful, talking to doctors are intimate stuff is embarrassing. I don’t know what it’s like for trans men but my kid is pretty set on this and willingly endures pain. |
Anonymous
Just for this, thank you. Doctor told my kid about CBT and said it would take 12-16 weeks. Tapping could work a lot sooner. |
Anonymous
That was the old days. Now that process would be considered “gate-keeping” and instead an “informed consent” model is followed. You should read up on what is currently happening. |
Anonymous
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OP, I remember hating getting breasts at 12. I was developing before friends and I really didn’t want to grow up. I also played soccer competitively and this was before sports bras, etc. I remember trying to push them down.
I grew out of it. I have always been heterosexual. |
Anonymous
You may benefit from joining a PFLAG group for families of transgender people. The PFLAG site has a place to search by zip code. There is also information on the site, and articles that you may find helpful. https://pflag.org/ |
Anonymous
I was a competitive gymnast & hated getting breasts. As a teen, I wore bras & clothes that made them look as flat as possible. Even as an adult, I’m a bit self-conscious about them. I think many teams are uncomfortable with their bodies. But I never felt like or wanted to be anything other than a straight girl/woman, so I’m not sure if that’s relevant to OP’s daughter. |
Anonymous
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OP, your daughter sounds a lot like me, but 30 years ago.
I hated my body “blooming”. I wore androgynous clothes, mostly to avoid comments/looks about my body. Of course it backfired and I was called a butch and dyke. But somehow, at the time, I’d rather be a butch or dyke than called a bimbo or slut just for having boobs. I literally wanted no attention, and thought I could achieve that by looking as plain as possible. I think if being trans was a thing back then, I might have identified. I really didn’t fully embrace being a woman until my mid 20s. I remember being in a shop with a good friend, and someone called me a guy. I didn’t correct them. After we left the shop, she asked me why I wanted to look like a guy. And for the first time, I really thought about it and realized that I was just hiding to avoid being stereotyped, but I was still being stereotyped, just in a different way. I made the “transition” (pun intended!) to dressing like a woman, wearing jewelry, makeup, etc. I’m straight, married, 2 awesome kids. I’m glad there wasn’t an option to really question my gender at that age. |
Anonymous
The difference is today girls are told that if they are uncomfortable with their body they are trans and that “top surgery” will make those feelings go away. |
Anonymous
Never heard of her, but a quick Google session suggests she wasn't diagnosed with gender dysphoria until she was five, even theough she self-identified as female as soon as she could talk, and waited until she was 18 to undergo transition surgery. Also: Outliers. They're a thing. |
Anonymous
OK, so that's an outright lie. Actually transitioning (not just using "they/them" or changing clothes styles) is an intensive process involving therapy, psychological assessments, intense discussions before starting any sort of medical interventions, etc. People like you and the bullies that shut down school board meetings and hijack educational policy act like little Suzie comes home one day, says his name is Billy, and it's off to the surgeon the very next day. 
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