it should be ok to question sudden revelations about gender dysphoria

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I remember hating getting breasts at 12. I was developing before friends and I really didn’t want to grow up. I also played soccer competitively and this was before sports bras, etc. I remember trying to push them down.

I grew out of it. I have always been heterosexual.

I was a competitive gymnast & hated getting breasts. As a teen, I wore bras & clothes that made them look as flat as possible. Even as an adult, I’m a bit self-conscious about them. I think many teams are uncomfortable with their bodies. But I never felt like or wanted to be anything other than a straight girl/woman, so I’m not sure if that’s relevant to OP’s daughter.

The difference is today girls are told that if they are uncomfortable with their body they are trans and that “top surgery” will make those feelings go away.

Also an absolute lie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I remember hating getting breasts at 12. I was developing before friends and I really didn’t want to grow up. I also played soccer competitively and this was before sports bras, etc. I remember trying to push them down.

I grew out of it. I have always been heterosexual.

I was a competitive gymnast & hated getting breasts. As a teen, I wore bras & clothes that made them look as flat as possible. Even as an adult, I’m a bit self-conscious about them. I think many teams are uncomfortable with their bodies. But I never felt like or wanted to be anything other than a straight girl/woman, so I’m not sure if that’s relevant to OP’s daughter.

The difference is today girls are told that if they are uncomfortable with their body they are trans and that “top surgery” will make those feelings go away.

Also an absolute lie.

While I agree in a therapeutic setting this is likely totally incorrect, this is information kids will be exposed to online without any context. My teen definitely was. She had never expressed any issues with being a girl but when she had breasts she begged for a binder and said she wanted to consider top surgery in the future.

I have written at least a few long posts on this here. I practice compassion. I am understanding, but I don't think either of my kids are transgender. Neither one had ever mentioned anything about their gender identity before they were exposed to the idea online and through their friend groups.

There is just a lot about this phenomenon that is not organic. It's unfortunate that parents that sincerely want to help their kids are called bigoted for questioning something that's come totally out of the blue for their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I remember hating getting breasts at 12. I was developing before friends and I really didn’t want to grow up. I also played soccer competitively and this was before sports bras, etc. I remember trying to push them down.

I grew out of it. I have always been heterosexual.

I was a competitive gymnast & hated getting breasts. As a teen, I wore bras & clothes that made them look as flat as possible. Even as an adult, I’m a bit self-conscious about them. I think many teams are uncomfortable with their bodies. But I never felt like or wanted to be anything other than a straight girl/woman, so I’m not sure if that’s relevant to OP’s daughter.

The difference is today girls are told that if they are uncomfortable with their body they are trans and that “top surgery” will make those feelings go away.

Also an absolute lie.

While I agree in a therapeutic setting this is likely totally incorrect, this is information kids will be exposed to online without any context. My teen definitely was. She had never expressed any issues with being a girl but when she had breasts she begged for a binder and said she wanted to consider top surgery in the future.

I have written at least a few long posts on this here. I practice compassion. I am understanding, but I don't think either of my kids are transgender. Neither one had ever mentioned anything about their gender identity before they were exposed to the idea online and through their friend groups.

There is just a lot about this phenomenon that is not organic. It's unfortunate that parents that sincerely want to help their kids are called bigoted for questioning something that's come totally out of the blue for their child.

Agree. This “rapid onset” of gender dysmorphia is brought to you by none other than TikTok. Internet Influencers are evil. It’s a race to the bottom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you do know that actually transitioning genders is a long, complicated process and that no kid anywhere is reassigned simply because they say they're trans, right?

No kid anywhere? What about Jazz Jennings?

Never heard of her, but a quick Google session suggests she wasn't diagnosed with gender dysphoria until she was five, even theough she self-identified as female as soon as she could talk, and waited until she was 18 to undergo transition surgery.

Also: Outliers. They're a thing.

You are the one who said, no one. Anywhere

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you do know that actually transitioning genders is a long, complicated process and that no kid anywhere is reassigned simply because they say they're trans, right?

That was the old days. Now that process would be considered “gate-keeping” and instead an “informed consent” model is followed. You should read up on what is currently happening.

OK, so that's an outright lie. Actually transitioning (not just using "they/them" or changing clothes styles) is an intensive process involving therapy, psychological assessments, intense discussions before starting any sort of medical interventions, etc.

People like you and the bullies that shut down school board meetings and hijack educational policy act like little Suzie comes home one day, says his name is Billy, and it's off to the surgeon the very next day.

+1

RWNJs pushing false narratives.

[Anonymous]

Your concerns would be ignored by many teachers, schools and school districts which is why FL wanted a law to protect parental involvement in their child's identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you do know that actually transitioning genders is a long, complicated process and that no kid anywhere is reassigned simply because they say they're trans, right?

That was the old days. Now that process would be considered “gate-keeping” and instead an “informed consent” model is followed. You should read up on what is currently happening.

OK, so that's an outright lie. Actually transitioning (not just using "they/them" or changing clothes styles) is an intensive process involving therapy, psychological assessments, intense discussions before starting any sort of medical interventions, etc.

People like you and the bullies that shut down school board meetings and hijack educational policy act like little Suzie comes home one day, says his name is Billy, and it's off to the surgeon the very next day.

The informed consent model does not require therapy. The onus is on the patient to make the decision about the appropriateness of hormones or surgery. https://www.gendergp.com/informed-consent/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 6th grader who identifies as non-binary in some spaces at some times. I don't actually think my DC will settle on a non-binary identify, but I also see this as a pretty rational reaction to some specific experiences.

We (Gen X parents) have not managed to remake the world in a way that makes it safe to be a pre-teen or teenaged girl. We are sending our daughters out into a world where they will be cat-called and harassed AT BEST during adolescence. At worst they will be molested or raped.

We put up with boys "being boys" and we don't hold the men in our lives accountable for their comments and their leers when it comes to pubescent girls.

We consume media that sexualizes young women, relationships with massive age gaps, and that blurs the lines when it comes to consent.

We've failed them, and they can see it and think maybe it would just be best not to be female in a world that looks and feels like this.

L

+1

I feel like a lot of girls are reacting quite.rationally by being non binary, at least until they reach A point where they feel safe and sure enough to be a woman in this.society. I remember being very uncomfortable with my changing body and unwanted male attention. I became more androgynous in my dress and developed an eating disorder in part as a way to rid myself of womanly curves (I also stopped my periods due to not eating enough calories). Eventually, with therapy, I was able to feel comfortable in my body, gain weight, and sometimes wear feminine clothing if I felt like it. But it took some time. If I were a 13 year old in this era I might be nonbinary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you do know that actually transitioning genders is a long, complicated process and that no kid anywhere is reassigned simply because they say they're trans, right?

That was the old days. Now that process would be considered “gate-keeping” and instead an “informed consent” model is followed. You should read up on what is currently happening.

OK, so that's an outright lie. Actually transitioning (not just using "they/them" or changing clothes styles) is an intensive process involving therapy, psychological assessments, intense discussions before starting any sort of medical interventions, etc.

People like you and the bullies that shut down school board meetings and hijack educational policy act like little Suzie comes home one day, says his name is Billy, and it's off to the surgeon the very next day.

The informed consent model does not require therapy. The onus is on the patient to make the decision about the appropriateness of hormones or surgery. https://www.gendergp.com/informed-consent/

I’m the mom with the AMAB kid above. The truth is in the middle. Informed consent only applies to adults-18 and older. You can’t as a teenager, in Virginia at least, just go to planned parenthood as a teen and get hormones.

But neither is it necessarily this really long drawn out process. It probably could be if parents aren’t on board, but assuming they are our doctor had no qualms. However, we also are in therapy…but not for like years and years. We essentially believed our kid and knew we had more say over what she did as a teen than we would at 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you do know that actually transitioning genders is a long, complicated process and that no kid anywhere is reassigned simply because they say they're trans, right?

No kid anywhere? What about Jazz Jennings?

Never heard of her, but a quick Google session suggests she wasn't diagnosed with gender dysphoria until she was five, even theough she self-identified as female as soon as she could talk, and waited until she was 18 to undergo transition surgery.

Also: Outliers. They're a thing.

You are the one who said, no one. Anywhere

OOH! You sure got me! Wow!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just going to ask this here because I'm not sure who to ask in real life.

My 8th grade son has a couple of female friends who have identified as "bi." I totally understand it's possible that this is legit. But is it also possible that they are labeling themselves as bi to avoid attention from boys? 8th grade boys are ... not great. Is it possible they are crushing on pretty girls who are a hell of a lot more mature than the boys in their grade? And someday, will they unlabel themselves? I am honestly not judging, just curious. It seems like many junior high/early high school girls come out as bi, but hardly any boys.

I mean it might be but I'm curious how saying you're bi *deters* male attention? My experience is that men, especially young men, think bi is hot/code for sexually available whereas is indicates "unwilling to commit" to lesbians. Perhaps these prejudices haven't seeped down to the eighth grade boys, but I could better understand middle school girls trying to avoid unwanted male attention declaring themselves lebsian, nonbinary, asexual, etc instead of bi.

Funny how asexual isn’t part of the new lbgtqia2+ curricula.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just going to ask this here because I'm not sure who to ask in real life.

My 8th grade son has a couple of female friends who have identified as "bi." I totally understand it's possible that this is legit. But is it also possible that they are labeling themselves as bi to avoid attention from boys? 8th grade boys are ... not great. Is it possible they are crushing on pretty girls who are a hell of a lot more mature than the boys in their grade? And someday, will they unlabel themselves? I am honestly not judging, just curious. It seems like many junior high/early high school girls come out as bi, but hardly any boys.

I mean it might be but I'm curious how saying you're bi *deters* male attention? My experience is that men, especially young men, think bi is hot/code for sexually available whereas is indicates "unwilling to commit" to lesbians. Perhaps these prejudices haven't seeped down to the eighth grade boys, but I could better understand middle school girls trying to avoid unwanted male attention declaring themselves lebsian, nonbinary, asexual, etc instead of bi.

Funny how asexual isn’t part of the new lbgtqia2+ curricula.

What exactly do you think the A stands for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just going to ask this here because I'm not sure who to ask in real life.

My 8th grade son has a couple of female friends who have identified as "bi." I totally understand it's possible that this is legit. But is it also possible that they are labeling themselves as bi to avoid attention from boys? 8th grade boys are ... not great. Is it possible they are crushing on pretty girls who are a hell of a lot more mature than the boys in their grade? And someday, will they unlabel themselves? I am honestly not judging, just curious. It seems like many junior high/early high school girls come out as bi, but hardly any boys.

I mean it might be but I'm curious how saying you're bi *deters* male attention? My experience is that men, especially young men, think bi is hot/code for sexually available whereas is indicates "unwilling to commit" to lesbians. Perhaps these prejudices haven't seeped down to the eighth grade boys, but I could better understand middle school girls trying to avoid unwanted male attention declaring themselves lebsian, nonbinary, asexual, etc instead of bi.

Funny how asexual isn’t part of the new lbgtqia2+ curricula.

My child's 14 year old best friend identifies as a trans-boy and as asexual..... 90% of the friend group identify as other than cis-hetero.
I think that a lot of them will identify differently as they enter adulthood but we just roll with it for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just going to ask this here because I'm not sure who to ask in real life.

My 8th grade son has a couple of female friends who have identified as "bi." I totally understand it's possible that this is legit. But is it also possible that they are labeling themselves as bi to avoid attention from boys? 8th grade boys are ... not great. Is it possible they are crushing on pretty girls who are a hell of a lot more mature than the boys in their grade? And someday, will they unlabel themselves? I am honestly not judging, just curious. It seems like many junior high/early high school girls come out as bi, but hardly any boys.

I mean it might be but I'm curious how saying you're bi *deters* male attention? My experience is that men, especially young men, think bi is hot/code for sexually available whereas is indicates "unwilling to commit" to lesbians. Perhaps these prejudices haven't seeped down to the eighth grade boys, but I could better understand middle school girls trying to avoid unwanted male attention declaring themselves lebsian, nonbinary, asexual, etc instead of bi.

Funny how asexual isn’t part of the new lbgtqia2+ curricula.

My child's 14 year old best friend identifies as a trans-boy and as asexual..... 90% of the friend group identify as other than cis-hetero.
I think that a lot of them will identify differently as they enter adulthood but we just roll with it for now.

Being asexual is normal before puberty. Probably a late bloomer

[Anonymous]

My son has been on hormones for 6 months, and every day I pray he hasn't had any surgeries yet. Like most boys who decide they're trans, he has cut off family completely, even though we were accepting but asked questions. In our family, it happened very quickly, soon after our son graduated high school. He had never shown any interest in anything "girly," but he had major anxiety and self-esteem issues and was pretty isolated, even before the pandemic. I've read that Tumblr and Discord used to be the spaces where kids entered this world, but I think now it's more Youtube, Tiktok, Reddit, and some fan fiction sites. Anyone who says there is no such thing as ROGD or social contagion just hasn't been touched by it yet, or has an agenda. Someone way back in the thread mentioned being turned off because Republicans are the sources of much information about this phenomenon. Please don't let that deter you. I belong to several support groups of parents whose kids believe they are trans, and we are probably 90% Democrats. The best site to read thoughtful articles by people whose lives are being affected by this is the PITT Substack (Parents with inconvenient truths about trans). Like most parents I talk to, I am progressive, pro-LGB, and would support my child transitioning if I truly believed that this was a decision he would be happy with in the future, and if he was older. He is too young to be taking hormones that will wreak havoc on his body and will cause irreversible changes. These days, it is almost as easy for kids to get letters approving surgeries as it is to get hormones. I have heard from young people who've spoken in my support groups that surgeons pursue kids who they think are ripe for surgery, saying things like "The wait list is very long, so you should get on the list even if you don't think you want the surgery now." Sometimes therapists or older trans men will contact a surgeon and have them reach out to the kid. (By "kid" I'm talking about 18 or 19 years old). Since my child is male, the male-to-female trajectory is what I pay most attention to.