Strange preference - not being called "she" [not a gender issue]

[Anonymous]

I get it. When my mil is on the phone with my dh she always refers to me as "she." It absolutely feels dismissive to me, she really goes out of her way NOT to speak my name. She will refer to our dc by name, but I am always "she" or "her." She's a real peach.

[Anonymous]

Oh my mom has this same issue! I think it’s bizarre and always have but whatever it is one of her more harmless quirks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see if she’s literally in the room and part of the discussion. But answering “She’s in the other room” is absolutely not rude. We teach kids to use pronouns to avoid redundancies. It’s just practical, efficient communication. I’m not overruling those standard grammar lessons so mom can feel like the center of the universe.

But that’s not what’s happening here if grandma can hear the conversation.

So if you’re in the same house, you must say “mom” every time just in case she hears you from another room? Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see if she’s literally in the room and part of the discussion. But answering “She’s in the other room” is absolutely not rude. We teach kids to use pronouns to avoid redundancies. It’s just practical, efficient communication. I’m not overruling those standard grammar lessons so mom can feel like the center of the universe.

But that’s not what’s happening here if grandma can hear the conversation.

So if you’re in the same house, you must say “mom” every time just in case she hears you from another room? Good grief.

Another PP with a mom with the same issue, yes! If she heard you say 'she' or 'her' she flips out, or at minimum huffily corrects

[Anonymous]

I have never heard if this. I wonder how many people I have offended over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was like this and honestly I’m too. I hate when people refer to other people simply as their pronoun and not their name. It is dismissive and disrespectful.

Really???

This is bizarre.

I had a supervisor years ago that was like this. It was annoying and over the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can be right or you can have a relationship. Or you can be a narcissist and incapable of relationships.

Who’s the narcissist in this scenario—OP, or her mother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup, I get it too. If SHE can hear you, then you should use her name instead of the pronoun.

Huh. Op again. In your house, you never say he/she? If someone says where'd dad go? You answer "Dad went to the store. Dad said we need milk so Dad can make breakfast in the morning." You wouldn't replace any of those n" dad's" with " he? "

I would if he was out of the house. if he is there I would day dad. you made the example when you when arguing with out mom and, with her present, you said to your dad "she does not let me...". I think it was disrespectful because she is there so you should have used her name not just "she".

[Anonymous]

I have never heard of this before in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I can think of now is a little old lady with a name tag that says “my preferred pronoun is GRANDMA”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can be right or you can have a relationship. Or you can be a narcissist and incapable of relationships.

Who’s the narcissist in this scenario—OP, or her mother?

Clearly OP. (DP btw)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I can think of now is a little old lady with a name tag that says “my preferred pronoun is GRANDMA”

Ha!

[Anonymous]

My dear PGM was exactly like this. She also hated anyone else being spoken about in the same way.

[Anonymous]

For those of you who have never heard of this, where did you grow up?

This was a common expectation of good manners among everyone I knew growing up in the Northeast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who have never heard of this, where did you grow up?

This was a common expectation of good manners among everyone I knew growing up in the Northeast.

Never heard of it. I’m from CT.