Girlfriend Cheated On Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You came to the wrong place for advice. By now, without reading this thread, you should have realized that there is no way she is a whore. That said, you should still dump her but only because you do not deserve her.

Some unresolved mommy issues perhaps? You, not OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I got more information from her. He was a guy she was interested in but it never worked out. They had sex once before we had sex ( we had sex a week later on fifth date) and she said she realized she was more into me and wanted to only date me. It was within the first month and we were not exclusive. I’m going to move forward with her but I’m not proposing when I had planned. I think I’m going to give it more time and see how things go before I make any more decisions about it.

Woman here. You are being ridiculous. She slept with him before you? She did not cheat. You are insecure. She chose you.

I am a woman as well. OP is wise to reevaluate the situation, and in my opinion, he should move on . No she's spinning it as she chose him because she doesn't want to be alone wants that ring. Dream guy rejected her. How the story came out is fishy as heck. While I agree she didn't cheat no way should OP marry this woman, he is setting himself up for misery once she gets the baby or two, and she realizes she settled to get a ring and kids. He won't move on though, and she won''t either and they will be divorcing in 5-10 years or miserably married and having or contemplating affairs.

MAJOR projecting going on in this post based on NOTHING OP said. Dream guy? She slept with the dude one time. Geez

Not projecting. I've seen this thing play out many times. If they genders were reversed you'd be saying the same thing. This situation has bad news written all over it, the exact situation that in 10 years if OP posts about a sexless marriage, affair or divorce you, and the others shaming OP, will shame him again for ignoring the red flags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I got more information from her. He was a guy she was interested in but it never worked out. They had sex once before we had sex ( we had sex a week later on fifth date) and she said she realized she was more into me and wanted to only date me. It was within the first month and we were not exclusive. I’m going to move forward with her but I’m not proposing when I had planned. I think I’m going to give it more time and see how things go before I make any more decisions about it.

Woman here. You are being ridiculous. She slept with him before you? She did not cheat. You are insecure. She chose you.

I am a woman as well. OP is wise to reevaluate the situation, and in my opinion, he should move on . No she's spinning it as she chose him because she doesn't want to be alone wants that ring. Dream guy rejected her. How the story came out is fishy as heck. While I agree she didn't cheat no way should OP marry this woman, he is setting himself up for misery once she gets the baby or two, and she realizes she settled to get a ring and kids. He won't move on though, and she won''t either and they will be divorcing in 5-10 years or miserably married and having or contemplating affairs.

MAJOR projecting going on in this post based on NOTHING OP said. Dream guy? She slept with the dude one time. Geez

Not projecting. I've seen this thing play out many times. If they genders were reversed you'd be saying the same thing. This situation has bad news written all over it, the exact situation that in 10 years if OP posts about a sexless marriage, affair or divorce you, and the others shaming OP, will shame him again for ignoring the red flags.

Yes, you are projecting. You have no way of knowing any of that would happen. MOST people date several people before they decide one is special enough to mary. Or are we women only supposed be with the one that we mary. Dude, it's 2020. Women like sex and have plenty of options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I got more information from her. He was a guy she was interested in but it never worked out. They had sex once before we had sex ( we had sex a week later on fifth date) and she said she realized she was more into me and wanted to only date me. It was within the first month and we were not exclusive. I’m going to move forward with her but I’m not proposing when I had planned. I think I’m going to give it more time and see how things go before I make any more decisions about it.

You weren’t exclusive, it sounds like she knew the other guy possibly before you, she didn’t sleep with him after she slept with you (which technically even if she did it wouldn’t have been cheating if you weren’t exclusive), she choose you AND stopped seeing the other guy early on. You had the story confirmations by a friend that she broke it off with the other guy early on and said she was serious about someone else. While it would be lovely if everyone knew after the first date that the wanted to be exclusive, reality is you my not know who you want to date exclusively after the first date and you don’t know who wants to date you exclusively.

She didn’t cheat. She just didn’t feel as strongly about you as you did about her within the first few dates before you decided to be exclusive and while that stings but she got there in a matter of what 2 weeks later and picked you over someone she had been thinking about for awhile. With all the stuff going on in the world, you shouldn’t take love or your time together for granted. Either you want to build a life with her or not.

OP doesn’t deserve her. If they do end up together, he will always throw it in her face what a “whore” she was at the beginning of their relationship. OP, break up with her and let her find someone more mature than you.

Narrator: she is a whore.

Counterpoint: she had a life before OP. OP is a whiny manbaby.

[Anonymous]

If GF is telling the truth, then there's nothing wrong with what she did.

The problem is that her truth is not very believable. Some friend of a friend randomly sees her in a pic and comments that he slept with her a year ago. When confronted, the convenient facts are such that she slept with this guy exactly once, in the one week period after she had gone on a few dates with OP but hadn't yet slept with him And based on sleeping with this guy ONCE in that random one week period, she tells the guy she had a big crush on him BUT decided she wants to be with OP. The timing of all this is just too unbelievable.

Let's say, worst case, OP's GF started sleeping with this guy right after she started dating OP and it lasted a couple months, plus a couple oops-ie encounters in months 3 and 4. Definitely into shady territory. If OP confronted the GF about it, the story she has told OP here is EXACTLY what a lying girlfriend would say to cover up this shady situation.

Dating for a year is not enough time to know whether your GF is an untrustworthy liar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I got more information from her. He was a guy she was interested in but it never worked out. They had sex once before we had sex ( we had sex a week later on fifth date) and she said she realized she was more into me and wanted to only date me. It was within the first month and we were not exclusive. I’m going to move forward with her but I’m not proposing when I had planned. I think I’m going to give it more time and see how things go before I make any more decisions about it.

That sounds right. You might also want to talk to a therapist about this either alone or together. These things can come back. A therapist will take your money and talk about *your* problems. Here on DCUM, you pay in humiliation and we talk about our own problems.

[Anonymous]

The problem is that you very quickly jumped to “she cheated” vs waiting to figure out exactly what happened. That would raise a red flag for me if I were your gf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If GF is telling the truth, then there's nothing wrong with what she did.

The problem is that her truth is not very believable. Some friend of a friend randomly sees her in a pic and comments that he slept with her a year ago. When confronted, the convenient facts are such that she slept with this guy exactly once, in the one week period after she had gone on a few dates with OP but hadn't yet slept with him And based on sleeping with this guy ONCE in that random one week period, she tells the guy she had a big crush on him BUT decided she wants to be with OP. The timing of all this is just too unbelievable.

Let's say, worst case, OP's GF started sleeping with this guy right after she started dating OP and it lasted a couple months, plus a couple oops-ie encounters in months 3 and 4. Definitely into shady territory. If OP confronted the GF about it, the story she has told OP here is EXACTLY what a lying girlfriend would say to cover up this shady situation.

Dating for a year is not enough time to know whether your GF is an untrustworthy liar.

100% agree. She has middle aged Ashley Madison Ho written all over her. She is settling for the ring and kids and then will still go out behind your back looking for big D.

[Anonymous]

Please break up with her. You sound like a total misogynist and a loser.

[Anonymous]

This is a weird post. Is OP religious or something? They weren’t exclusive...if he holds this over her, she shouldn’t marry him.

[Anonymous]

I cant believe you are focused on what she did or didn't in the first few weeks when you first met, before you were sleeping together and before you were exclusive, instead of the past year plus where you have spent all this time with her in an intimate relationship. DO you really trust your own inability to judge character this much? Has she given you any other reason to doubt her?

Either she is smart, kind, loving, hard working, compatible with you or she is not.

Dating in your 30s is very much a weird thing--people come and go, ghost all the time, up and leave at any second. When I was dating inmy early 30s, I learned NEVER to assume that a guy I liked was into me until we had been seeing each other for a while and had the talk and until then I assumed they were dating half of DC. (And even then half the time it meant tonight). DH never asked me about my sex life before I met him or even during the time we were dating but not serious because it doesn't matter, what matters is that we chose to be together and once we did that and choce to be exclusive, wewere.

[Anonymous]

I have a hard time believing her. Women are such good liars that, even when found out they will trickle truth you and greatly minimize the truth.

So you giys didn't have sex until 5th date while she let you believe she was single when you met and not seeing anyone while dating you? But she bangs this guy during that time? And it was just once? Hey, if you believe that then maybe you can go forward. I've been lied to by enough women that I'd never believe it.

Why don't you ask that other guy? Say hey, I know you two were together for a while. Want to make sure that's completely over before I get serious with her. Then try to have a friendly conversation with him where you can find out more. Then go back to her for more trickle truth and MI izing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing her. Women are such good liars that, even when found out they will trickle truth you and greatly minimize the truth.

So you giys didn't have sex until 5th date while she let you believe she was single when you met and not seeing anyone while dating you? But she bangs this guy during that time? And it was just once? Hey, if you believe that then maybe you can go forward. I've been lied to by enough women that I'd never believe it.

Why don't you ask that other guy? Say hey, I know you two were together for a while. Want to make sure that's completely over before I get serious with her. Then try to have a friendly conversation with him where you can find out more. Then go back to her for more trickle truth and MI izing

Oh, look! Another incel posting from his mommy's basement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If GF is telling the truth, then there's nothing wrong with what she did.

The problem is that her truth is not very believable. Some friend of a friend randomly sees her in a pic and comments that he slept with her a year ago. When confronted, the convenient facts are such that she slept with this guy exactly once, in the one week period after she had gone on a few dates with OP but hadn't yet slept with him And based on sleeping with this guy ONCE in that random one week period, she tells the guy she had a big crush on him BUT decided she wants to be with OP. The timing of all this is just too unbelievable.

Let's say, worst case, OP's GF started sleeping with this guy right after she started dating OP and it lasted a couple months, plus a couple oops-ie encounters in months 3 and 4. Definitely into shady territory. If OP confronted the GF about it, the story she has told OP here is EXACTLY what a lying girlfriend would say to cover up this shady situation.

Dating for a year is not enough time to know whether your GF is an untrustworthy liar.

100% agree. She has middle aged Ashley Madison Ho written all over her. She is settling for the ring and kids and then will still go out behind your back looking for big D.

This, above, does seem like a plausible scenario. Quite plausible. It’s how life works. I like the other poster’s idea about getting some background from the other guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing her. Women are such good liars that, even when found out they will trickle truth you and greatly minimize the truth.

So you giys didn't have sex until 5th date while she let you believe she was single when you met and not seeing anyone while dating you? But she bangs this guy during that time? And it was just once? Hey, if you believe that then maybe you can go forward. I've been lied to by enough women that I'd never believe it.

Why don't you ask that other guy? Say hey, I know you two were together for a while. Want to make sure that's completely over before I get serious with her. Then try to have a friendly conversation with him where you can find out more. Then go back to her for more trickle truth and MI izing

No point in asking the other guy. OP doesn’t trust his girlfriend to tell the truth. The relationship is dead. He will always be wondering and looking for her to mess around.

I definitely continued dating others before my husband and I spoke and decided to be exclusive. He was too. I was not going to assume he was committed to me until he said so, and therefore I was single and acted accordingly.

If women are such great liars, how come statistically more guys cheat? And spare me all the reasons why men cheat. A cheater is a liar and there’s no gray area. Does this mean men are actually more prone to lying?