Do you mean he will rarely if ever see the guy because it’s his friend’s co-worker? |
Everything he (and apparently you) needs to know is that bolded statement. He can focus on that and the wonderful year they just spent together, or he can dwell on the other. Up to him. |
Marriage is hard enough. If she ends up cheating on him later or becoming sexless on him, he will keep coming back to this “sign” that is wasn’t right. |
| I wouldn't end it over this but I'd put the engagement on hold. Start asking the big questions (money values, kids, in law closeness and logistics) and keep an eye out for dealbreakers. |
| What are the odds that your friend would’ve showed his coworker pictures of him hanging out with you and your GF. That seems implausible, unless it’s a super small town. I’m suspicious that OP is posting something fictional to see if people are softer on a cheating GF than a cheating BF. |
| break up |
| If you can’t immediately get over this (which I would), please break up with her now. I don’t think she did anything wrong and she doesn’t deserve to have you holding it over her. |
OP here. Not a small town. He was showing him pictures of a party and of one of girlfriends friends he was thinking of setting him up with. We were all in the pics at the party. My girlfriend was in the pic with a bunch of girls that he showed him. I’ve never met the guy and don’t know him. |
OP here. I found this out yesterday. |
|
OP, all the DCUM women think that all women’s past sins should always be forgiven (because they have past sins that their husbands haven’t found out about yet) but you know if she were “serious” about you she never would have looked at that guy.
And you’re probably only getting trickle truth right now anyway. A man’s gotta have boundaries. |
I’d ask her for all the details. Like how long did they know each before they hooked up. And even more details on what they did exactly. I self flagellize like that. So I’d have to end it or I’d drive myself insane. No point in criticizing me on this. I know intellectually it doesn’t or might not matter. |
Kick her to the curb. |
| If she was seeing you how did she find time to date and hookup with this other guy? |
|
She didn't tell you about it, she says it was a mistake. You are at the beginning of the relationship, nah, I would move on, she's a cheater.
If you think about it she was screwing around on you up to 2 months in and you have been dating for 9 months. So you are looking at getting engaged to someone who you have really been dating exclusively for 7 months. This is way too soon anyway. If you do decide to stay and I get the feeling you will, I would put off ALL talk of engagements until you have dated her at least 2 years. However she won't tell you she has cheated in that time as she has already shown you she can lie about that sort of thing. Good luck. |
| Get some good sex out of the guilt and then decide. What have you always dreamed of |