SIL emailed me asking me to apologize for bringing my own picnic food to her home

[Anonymous]

Tell her you are sorry and let it go.

Next time, grill her about specifics, if you want there to be a next time and cc your dh.

[Anonymous]

Aghhh. I'm the OP!! Nobody cooked. Nobody PLANNED to "cook."
She invited us over to picnic on her lawn and let the kids run around. Outside. In the SUN. In the yard.
Nobody prepared a banquet or a multi-course feast for 12.
She did not have a tray of sandwiches and petit-fours waiting for us.
We simply plonked down, pulled out our food, and she was offended that we didn't expect that she'd provide the food and brought our own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aghhh. I'm the OP!! Nobody cooked. Nobody PLANNED to "cook."
She invited us over to picnic on her lawn and let the kids run around. Outside. In the SUN. In the yard.
Nobody prepared a banquet or a multi-course feast for 12.
She did not have a tray of sandwiches and petit-fours waiting for us.
We simply plonked down, pulled out our food, and she was offended that we didn't expect that she'd provide the food and brought our own.

Huh. Then why did you say differently in a prior post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aghhh. I'm the OP!! Nobody cooked. Nobody PLANNED to "cook."
She invited us over to picnic on her lawn and let the kids run around. Outside. In the SUN. In the yard.
Nobody prepared a banquet or a multi-course feast for 12.
She did not have a tray of sandwiches and petit-fours waiting for us.
We simply plonked down, pulled out our food, and she was offended that we didn't expect that she'd provide the food and brought our own.

She's a basket case OP.

You did nothing wrong, it's just whether you want to apologize in order not to stir the pot of crazy, or whether you want to dig in your heels and not apologize. Depends on how crazy your brother thinks she is. Then, avoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aghhh. I'm the OP!! Nobody cooked. Nobody PLANNED to "cook."
She invited us over to picnic on her lawn and let the kids run around. Outside. In the SUN. In the yard.
Nobody prepared a banquet or a multi-course feast for 12.
She did not have a tray of sandwiches and petit-fours waiting for us.
We simply plonked down, pulled out our food, and she was offended that we didn't expect that she'd provide the food and brought our own.

Huh. Then why did you say differently in a prior post?

I think you misread the post or read it to further an agenda of being mean?

[Anonymous]

*puts on inspector hat* lol

think it's important to specify where the word "picnic" came from. If SIL used that in the invite then food would be expected. Or is OP calling the activity that afterwards because she brought food?

Hmmmmm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*puts on inspector hat* lol

think it's important to specify where the word "picnic" came from. If SIL used that in the invite then food would be expected. Or is OP calling the activity that afterwards because she brought food?

Hmmmmm.

+1 OP's story keeps changing.

[Anonymous]

Wait, did you go inside? Is there a possibility she planned to order in lunch? I've had people over for drinks or snacks outdoors during covid with plans to either order food or cook. Twice, the couple we invited didn't eat or drink. I was annoyed but dont have the nerve to express my disappointment like your sil.

[Anonymous]

I do the same. No one gets mad. CDC says it’s the safest way to hang out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aghhh. I'm the OP!! Nobody cooked. Nobody PLANNED to "cook."
She invited us over to picnic on her lawn and let the kids run around. Outside. In the SUN. In the yard.
Nobody prepared a banquet or a multi-course feast for 12.
She did not have a tray of sandwiches and petit-fours waiting for us.
We simply plonked down, pulled out our food, and she was offended that we didn't expect that she'd provide the food and brought our own.

What was going on in her head? I don't understand how you got invited to something she called a picnic, and she neither provided food nor expected you to provide food. Was there food inside that she thought she was bringing out.

I don't care if it was petit fours or a 12 course meal. Was there food?

Or are you saying that she invited you to a picnic and was planning on saying "No food for you!"?

[Anonymous]

While I cannot imagine why she felt she could demand you apologize - saying she was hurt that she'd extended an invite with her assumption that you were going to eat food she'd prepared would have been reasonable. That's an adult thing to say. Stepping back-it sounds like you each had assumptions, neither of you communicated, you both screwed up. As usual in these situations I find it incredible that neither of the husbands (me assuming here!) that they both attended have no part in the blame/responsibilities - just the women??

While I do think the assumption most have for the distanced get togethers is everyone brings their own stuff - that your in-laws thought differently is apparent.

You and your DH should give an over the top recitation of it was neither of y'alls intention to do anything but safeguard each other. Every one is stressed. Let it go and try and be kind...even it if it galls a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aghhh. I'm the OP!! Nobody cooked. Nobody PLANNED to "cook."
She invited us over to picnic on her lawn and let the kids run around. Outside. In the SUN. In the yard.
Nobody prepared a banquet or a multi-course feast for 12.
She did not have a tray of sandwiches and petit-fours waiting for us.
We simply plonked down, pulled out our food, and she was offended that we didn't expect that she'd provide the food and brought our own.

So if she invited you over to just let the kids play outside, why did you bring a picnic?

[Anonymous]

You did nothing wrong.
Sorry she sounds so difficult.

To keep family peace, I might write:

"This pandemic is hard, and everyone is doing what they think is right. I am sorry that our precautions (which we take when we have gone to anyone's house but our own) offended you. "

And then I would not mention it again.

She sounds really high maintenance.

[Anonymous]

Really OP? You can’t eat her food? You are THAT worried? And yet you still went in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really OP? You can’t eat her food? You are THAT worried? And yet you still went in the first place.

Do you get the difference between distancing in a yard and sharing food?