SIL emailed me asking me to apologize for bringing my own picnic food to her home

[Anonymous]

Delete the email. Problem solved. Other people’s rage is NOT your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call her. Obviously there is a tendency for miscommunication here. Talk it out.

+1 It's easier to de-escalate and work things out in a real-time conversation.

Wrong. If you are dealing with a rageaholic possible mental issues, there’s no end to the twists and turns this conversation will take, but one things for sure. It will not end pleasantly for OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Delete the email. Problem solved. Other people’s rage is NOT your problem.

Agree-- no reply is Best of you could just write that you didn't want to trouble her to get food together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aghhh. I'm the OP!! Nobody cooked. Nobody PLANNED to "cook."
She invited us over to picnic on her lawn and let the kids run around. Outside. In the SUN. In the yard.
Nobody prepared a banquet or a multi-course feast for 12.
She did not have a tray of sandwiches and petit-fours waiting for us.
We simply plonked down, pulled out our food, and she was offended that we didn't expect that she'd provide the food and brought our own.

So if she invited you over to just let the kids play outside, why did you bring a picnic?

Do you have kids? They get hungry. They get cranky when they are hungry. There's nothing unusual about bringing some sandwiches for your kids if you know you are going to be away from home for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aghhh. I'm the OP!! Nobody cooked. Nobody PLANNED to "cook."
She invited us over to picnic on her lawn and let the kids run around. Outside. In the SUN. In the yard.
Nobody prepared a banquet or a multi-course feast for 12.
She did not have a tray of sandwiches and petit-fours waiting for us.
We simply plonked down, pulled out our food, and she was offended that we didn't expect that she'd provide the food and brought our own.

So if she invited you over to just let the kids play outside, why did you bring a picnic?

Do you have kids? They get hungry. They get cranky when they are hungry. There's nothing unusual about bringing some sandwiches for your kids if you know you are going to be away from home for a while.

OK but did you make sure you say at least 20 or 30 feet away from her? Perhaps she thought it was no food and you would wear your masks all the time. The problem with eating while socializing is you have to takeoff your mask

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aghhh. I'm the OP!! Nobody cooked. Nobody PLANNED to "cook."
She invited us over to picnic on her lawn and let the kids run around. Outside. In the SUN. In the yard.
Nobody prepared a banquet or a multi-course feast for 12.
She did not have a tray of sandwiches and petit-fours waiting for us.
We simply plonked down, pulled out our food, and she was offended that we didn't expect that she'd provide the food and brought our own.

So if she invited you over to just let the kids play outside, why did you bring a picnic?

Do you have kids? They get hungry. They get cranky when they are hungry. There's nothing unusual about bringing some sandwiches for your kids if you know you are going to be away from home for a while.

Other than when they were nursing, or water I have never brought food for just my kids to another house with kids and served it when the other kids aren’t eating. I have a kid with massive food issues and I’ve brought him his own food that he ate when we shared a meal, or I’ve brought homemade cookies to share, and I could see meeting for a picnic where we both brought something for our own kid, but I can’t imagine feeding my kid when the other family wasn’t feeding theirs.

My mom or something who can go a long time without eating? Yes I would go to her house and midday serve my kids lunch when she isn’t eating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Etiquette requires that everyone is clear who is providing food for whom. You should have explained that you were bringing your own, OP, otherwise you are putting your host in the position of working on your meal for nothing, which is extremely rude.

Of course your SIL attacked you for something completely different, and that is on her. But you can apologize for not warning her you were bringing your own food.

Now to the most important point: it's risky to enter someone's home, since this virus is aerosolized and droplet-transmitted. It does not make sense that you would be so careful about sharing food if you are taking the serious risk of being indoors with them in the first place!!!

So none of you are being very intelligent here.

You do know that a picnic happens outside right? And that OP said the host never prepared a meal? Oh dear.

Right? The trolls are really twisting themselves into pretzels to trash the OP in this thread. How many stories can we conjure up out of thin air today?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Delete the email. Problem solved. Other people’s rage is NOT your problem.

Yup. After actually reading OP's posts (rather than using the thread to show off my own creative writing skills), it's clear SIL is unhinged. Delete and ignore.

[Anonymous]

For anyone eating out or going to a restaurant or even getting prepared food, this makes no sense. Enough with pretend social distancing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really OP? You can’t eat her food? You are THAT worried? And yet you still went in the first place.

Do you get the difference between distancing in a yard and sharing food?

And the kids running around were distanced? Come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aghhh. I'm the OP!! Nobody cooked. Nobody PLANNED to "cook."
She invited us over to picnic on her lawn and let the kids run around. Outside. In the SUN. In the yard.
Nobody prepared a banquet or a multi-course feast for 12.
She did not have a tray of sandwiches and petit-fours waiting for us.
We simply plonked down, pulled out our food, and she was offended that we didn't expect that she'd provide the food and brought our own.

Huh. Then why did you say differently in a prior post?

She didn’t. You just have a problem with reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

OP your friend is cracking under the strain. It’s happening everywhere. Be gentle apologize or whatever and give her some space. Don’t be the focus of her anger.

[Anonymous]

I’d apologize for the lack of clear communication beforehand and explain that normally you’d never bring your own food, since you know what a great host she is, but in these covid times you and your husband decided to err on the side of caution. You hope there are no hard feelings and it was so nice for everyone to get together and spend time together. Again, you did not intend any disrespect and you’re sorry.

This is what I would do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aghhh. I'm the OP!! Nobody cooked. Nobody PLANNED to "cook."
She invited us over to picnic on her lawn and let the kids run around. Outside. In the SUN. In the yard.
Nobody prepared a banquet or a multi-course feast for 12.
She did not have a tray of sandwiches and petit-fours waiting for us.
We simply plonked down, pulled out our food, and she was offended that we didn't expect that she'd provide the food and brought our own.

So if she invited you over to just let the kids play outside, why did you bring a picnic?

Do you have kids? They get hungry. They get cranky when they are hungry. There's nothing unusual about bringing some sandwiches for your kids if you know you are going to be away from home for a while.

Other than when they were nursing, or water I have never brought food for just my kids to another house with kids and served it when the other kids aren’t eating. I have a kid with massive food issues and I’ve brought him his own food that he ate when we shared a meal, or I’ve brought homemade cookies to share, and I could see meeting for a picnic where we both brought something for our own kid, but I can’t imagine feeding my kid when the other family wasn’t feeding theirs.

My mom or something who can go a long time without eating? Yes I would go to her house and midday serve my kids lunch when she isn’t eating.

Literally, you are the ONLY person with kids who has never brought food to my home for their kids. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Friends are bringing food and drinks in containers at backyard and other events. I completely understand. However, we agreed in advance to handle it in this manner. To be honest, not sure how I would have handled it with my SIL since I do not care for her, at all. BTW, the feeling is mutual.