Daughter (16) saying that life is boring, has no purpose, is work

[Anonymous]

Remind her that she doesn’t have to get married or have kids.

She can live a life of travel and adventure if she prefers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for these teens today. They are trying to come into adulthood at an incredibly confusing time.

Everything that has made this country great for the generations of us before them is being stripped from them violently, and they are being lied to and told that it is wrong and bad and to hate themselves if they are a part of it. Religion? History? Family? Traditions? Hard work? Understanding the difference between right and wrong? Holding yourself and others accountable for their actions?

When that is gone, there will be nothing left. And kids your OP's daughter are the ones who will pay the highest price.

Can you elaborate on why "everything that has made this country great for the generations of us before them is being stripped from them violently"? Many people are religious. "Family," "traditions," "hard work," morality, responsibility...all of these still exist.

Teens in the 21st century do face unprecedented challenges, climate change among them. But many of them also have opportunities that earlier generations could have only imagined.

It's just a conservative bellyaching that white supremacy/misogyny isn't en vogue anymore. Better to ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably off the wall, but you should also introduce her to the concept of extreme early retirement (e.g. Mr Money Mustache). Adult life doesn’t have to be a slog... Also make sure she knows that she is not required to have kids!

Yeah, eating crap, hoarding money and then sitting on it for another 30 years sounds like a great way of discovering the meaning of life. Ugh.

Wow, bitter much? Don’t worry, you can stay chained to your desk and continue your endless consumption of trashing of our planet’s resources. Talk about a meaningful life...

I'm not worried, I have a job I like that doesn't involve a desk. But if being chained to a desk is your only option to not eating crap, I feel sorry for you. And don't cover your laughable cheapness by fake worries about 'our planet' . Talk about provincial self-righteousness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably off the wall, but you should also introduce her to the concept of extreme early retirement (e.g. Mr Money Mustache). Adult life doesn’t have to be a slog... Also make sure she knows that she is not required to have kids!

Yeah, eating crap, hoarding money and then sitting on it for another 30 years sounds like a great way of discovering the meaning of life. Ugh.

Wow, bitter much? Don’t worry, you can stay chained to your desk and continue your endless consumption of trashing of our planet’s resources. Talk about a meaningful life...

I'm not worried, I have a job I like that doesn't involve a desk. But if being chained to a desk is your only option to not eating crap, I feel sorry for you. And don't cover your laughable cheapness by fake worries about 'our planet' . Talk about provincial self-righteousness.

You are a sad, strange little (wo)man, and you have my pity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, she’s kind of right

+2. She figured it out at a younger age than most people do.

+3. My kid has taken to saying that it’s all a scam. Hard to argue with her.

+4 she's not lying. The majority of people in this world do not live fulfilling lives. It's the brutal truth that few want to admit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for these teens today. They are trying to come into adulthood at an incredibly confusing time.

Everything that has made this country great for the generations of us before them is being stripped from them violently, and they are being lied to and told that it is wrong and bad and to hate themselves if they are a part of it. Religion? History? Family? Traditions? Hard work? Understanding the difference between right and wrong? Holding yourself and others accountable for their actions?

When that is gone, there will be nothing left. And kids your OP's daughter are the ones who will pay the highest price.

My grandparents could’ve written your post 100 years ago.

Ummm no. You're wrong in every single way.

This is the first generation in American history that will not be living and doing better than their parents. Also, millennials and Gen Z will have a shorter life expectancy than their parents because the obesity crisis. Downward mobility is more common than upward mobility for both Gen Z and millennials.

[Anonymous]

She's right in a way. We're most of us sled dogs. But if she works hard and is lucky she can be the head dog. They have the best view.

[Anonymous]

You guys (and possibly op’s daughter) might benefit from an SSRI.

[Anonymous]

As you are reading this you are bored too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As you are reading this you are bored too.

No need to read it, then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remind her that she doesn’t have to get married or have kids.

She can live a life of travel and adventure if she prefers.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remind her that she doesn’t have to get married or have kids.

She can live a life of travel and adventure if she prefers.

+1

Great idea

[Anonymous]

She doesn't sound depressed-just insightful and in need of a challenge to apply her talents. Start there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She isn't having suicidal thoughts and has never had them, but has been saying that life is boring, has no purpose, and is work.

She says that now is the best and most fortunate part of her life (being young, parents healthy, not having to work full-time) and says that life will only get worse as an adult: work, housework, little free time, losing family members, and possibly raising kids before old age, health issues, and mortality.

She has many close friends, does well academically, and participated in several activities outside of school before COVID. She saw a therapist for depression and ADHD from ages 12-14, but has not needed to for the past 2 years until now. I suggested seeing a therapist again, but she doesn't think it will help.

DH grew up low-income and believes that she is only feeling this way because she has a privileged life and that this is a problem for rich people. He pointed out that many people around the world live in poverty, work dangerous and low-paying jobs, or/and have health issues. He said that we should ignore this if it goes on. I feel that he is being overly harsh.

Is this typical for her age or indicative of something more serious? Should I be doing anything other than encouraging her to see a therapist?

My daughter expressed almost the exact same sentiments at 16. I interpreted it at the time as a lack of perspective and gratefulness. When I engaged her in a conversation about her feelings, her reasoning was circular, and no amount of questioning or coaching worked. At the time, she was saying things like, I work so hard for my grades, just to get into a good college where i”ll work even harder, all so I can go into my first job and work there. She could t see any bright sides to getting older ... the opportunity to learn new topics in college, potentially travel, be exposed to new people, new ideas, and not to mention the growing independence and the fulfillment that brings..nothing I said help shake her negativity. It took a year before she was diagnosed with anxiety and mild depression, and her doc put her on medication. Ever since then, she has smoothed out and she’ has had none of the circular negative views. Have her checked for anxiety and depression. In hindsight I wish I recognized the symptoms sooner for my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She isn't having suicidal thoughts and has never had them, but has been saying that life is boring, has no purpose, and is work.

She says that now is the best and most fortunate part of her life (being young, parents healthy, not having to work full-time) and says that life will only get worse as an adult: work, housework, little free time, losing family members, and possibly raising kids before old age, health issues, and mortality.

She has many close friends, does well academically, and participated in several activities outside of school before COVID. She saw a therapist for depression and ADHD from ages 12-14, but has not needed to for the past 2 years until now. I suggested seeing a therapist again, but she doesn't think it will help.

DH grew up low-income and believes that she is only feeling this way because she has a privileged life and that this is a problem for rich people. He pointed out that many people around the world live in poverty, work dangerous and low-paying jobs, or/and have health issues. He said that we should ignore this if it goes on. I feel that he is being overly harsh.

Is this typical for her age or indicative of something more serious? Should I be doing anything other than encouraging her to see a therapist?

My daughter expressed almost the exact same sentiments at 16. I interpreted it at the time as a lack of perspective and gratefulness. When I engaged her in a conversation about her feelings, her reasoning was circular, and no amount of questioning or coaching worked. At the time, she was saying things like, I work so hard for my grades, just to get into a good college where i”ll work even harder, all so I can go into my first job and work there. She could t see any bright sides to getting older ... the opportunity to learn new topics in college, potentially travel, be exposed to new people, new ideas, and not to mention the growing independence and the fulfillment that brings..nothing I said help shake her negativity. It took a year before she was diagnosed with anxiety and mild depression, and her doc put her on medication. Ever since then, she has smoothed out and she’ has had none of the circular negative views. Have her checked for anxiety and depression. In hindsight I wish I recognized the symptoms sooner for my daughter.

Great suggestion