Reply to Daughter (16) saying that life is boring, has no purpose, is work

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She isn't having suicidal thoughts and has never had them, but has been saying that life is boring, has no purpose, and is work.

She says that now is the best and most fortunate part of her life (being young, parents healthy, not having to work full-time) and says that life will only get worse as an adult: work, housework, little free time, losing family members, and possibly raising kids before old age, health issues, and mortality.

She has many close friends, does well academically, and participated in several activities outside of school before COVID. She saw a therapist for depression and ADHD from ages 12-14, but has not needed to for the past 2 years until now. I suggested seeing a therapist again, but she doesn't think it will help.

DH grew up low-income and believes that she is only feeling this way because she has a privileged life and that this is a problem for rich people. He pointed out that many people around the world live in poverty, work dangerous and low-paying jobs, or/and have health issues. He said that we should ignore this if it goes on. I feel that he is being overly harsh.

Is this typical for her age or indicative of something more serious? Should I be doing anything other than encouraging her to see a therapist? [/quote]

My daughter expressed almost the exact same sentiments at 16. I interpreted it at the time as a lack of perspective and gratefulness. When I engaged her in a conversation about her feelings, her reasoning was circular, and no amount of questioning or coaching worked. At the time, she was saying things like, I work so hard for my grades, just to get into a good college where i”ll work even harder, all so I can go into my first job and work there. She could t see any bright sides to getting older ... the opportunity to learn new topics in college, potentially travel, be exposed to new people, new ideas, and not to mention the growing independence and the fulfillment that brings..nothing I said help shake her negativity. It took a year before she was diagnosed with anxiety and mild depression, and her doc put her on medication.  Ever since then, she has smoothed out and she’ has had none of the circular negative views. Have her checked for anxiety and depression. In hindsight I wish I recognized the symptoms sooner for my daughter. [/quote]

Great suggestion[/quote]

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