Appropriate response to email from MIL regarding COVID-19 death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your response -

"In these very difficult times, you have my permission to directly get in touch with my husband to convey any news regarding COVID deaths.

Mrs. Full Name of DH. "

This is the best one yet!!! Use this one OP.

[Anonymous]

Op your MIL isn't doing anything for you. She is making it clear she is only sending it to you so it gets to DH sooner. Your only obligation is to make sure your DH is aware of the email.

Then really it is between them. It's really only a problem between them. If MIL is unhappy with not getting a reply then she can be upset with her son who isn't contacting her.

Just because you are female doesn't make you the family secretary. This isn't anything to do with you. If your MIL wants your help she should have thought of that before she suggested her son divorce you. She wasn't trying to help you then so you aren't obligated to help her now.

Let them deal with their own relationship and their own communication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Print out the e-mail? lol.

Boomers gonna boom.

[Anonymous]

To add. I certainly wouldn't be printing anything out or dignifying her pushy email with a response. She wants to push her sons ex lover into your relationship and then makes demands on you to print up emails and get her son to call her.

Just no. No, no, no, no, no. Do not respond to her.

[Anonymous]

Block this person forever. Your husband should too.

[Anonymous]

Nothing about this request is normal... the random email to you, the 'print it out', the directive to make him call her back...the need to report on something that happened to a stranger (may be distantly related but does not know her).

Major boundary issues here, and for this reason I prefer the email response giving permission for MIL to directly contact son, going forward, leaving Mrs. Hislastname out of it. There will only be more deaths of those with tenuous associations, and she will likely spin further out of control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op your MIL isn't doing anything for you. She is making it clear she is only sending it to you so it gets to DH sooner. Your only obligation is to make sure your DH is aware of the email.

Then really it is between them. It's really only a problem between them. If MIL is unhappy with not getting a reply then she can be upset with her son who isn't contacting her.

Just because you are female doesn't make you the family secretary. This isn't anything to do with you. If your MIL wants your help she should have thought of that before she suggested her son divorce you. She wasn't trying to help you then so you aren't obligated to help her now.

Let them deal with their own relationship and their own communication.

No. Op does NOT have any obligation at all. Ignore op. Mil is a b.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Respond in a way she would not expect, that presents you as united.

Oh my gosh, DH and I are so sorry to hear this. That is so horrible! Thank you so much for letting us know! We will say a prayer for her. XOXO, Larla and DH

This is perfect!

[Anonymous]

You again! We have told you before to ignore MIL and let DH deal with her or be polite. Don’t waste so much energy on hating MIL.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/872625.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op your MIL isn't doing anything for you. She is making it clear she is only sending it to you so it gets to DH sooner. Your only obligation is to make sure your DH is aware of the email.

Then really it is between them. It's really only a problem between them. If MIL is unhappy with not getting a reply then she can be upset with her son who isn't contacting her.

Just because you are female doesn't make you the family secretary. This isn't anything to do with you. If your MIL wants your help she should have thought of that before she suggested her son divorce you. She wasn't trying to help you then so you aren't obligated to help her now.

Let them deal with their own relationship and their own communication.

No. Op does NOT have any obligation at all. Ignore op. Mil is a b.

Not PP but I think she does. That information is for her husband. I'd be pissed if my dad sent an email to my husband for me, and husband didn't bother to let me know. Whether I acted on that email is up to me, but yes a spouse has an obligation to share an email intended for you.

[Anonymous]

Op here.

I messaged the second (or 3rd) cousin on Facebook our condolences -- I don't think this is a blood relation -- it's like a cousin's spouse -- and told MIL to go to hell. I'm hoping that she will use it against me and only email DH in the future (who never checks email) or get a hint and write nicer emails to me. It felt great to stand up for myself for the first time in forever. I am sick of being a doormat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

I messaged the second (or 3rd) cousin on Facebook our condolences -- I don't think this is a blood relation -- it's like a cousin's spouse -- and told MIL to go to hell. I'm hoping that she will use it against me and only email DH in the future (who never checks email) or get a hint and write nicer emails to me. It felt great to stand up for myself for the first time in forever. I am sick of being a doormat.

You took literally no one's advice here, and you met inappropriate with inappropriate. He really married his mother, with you.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are petty. I'm not even sure why you want to respond so rudely.

[Anonymous]

Ummm, maybe OP was sick of being a doormat for years. It sounds like this was the first time she ever stuck up for herself. Good for her!

[Anonymous]

AHHHHHH.

So, I just got another email from MIL, basically telling me that she wrote to DH two days ago and that she is shocked that he hasn't responded to her yet, and that I need to make sure that he is reading his email and replying to her. And, at the end of her email, she wrote that she will not read or respond to any emails from me again.

AHHHHH. So, I have learned my lesson and am not responding, but this is not any better that she is going to write to me every time that DH does not respond. ARGGGG.

Oh, and of course, I asked DH to check his email to find out what is so incredibly urgent and she wrote to him LAST NIGHT!!! AND the entire email is just a forward of my email, about how I am negative and destructive, and how she does not want to interact with me again. It is about five pages long, so she has clearly been writing it for this entire time. And, in it, she writes how she has always been so supportive of the marriage (hahahahaha!).

AHHHHHHHHHH.

DH is just not responding to her, and now I learned my lesson and am not responding to her either. But, it is seriously stressful. I have now blocked her from my email account but I wish I could somehow block the memory of her, too.