Appropriate response to email from MIL regarding COVID-19 death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Respond: Thank you. I shared your message with DH.

Done.

This.

Yes, this is the correct response. Neutral.

Agree.

FWIW, my MIL, who I get along with, does this to me as well.

[Anonymous]

“I am so sorry for your loss. DH’s email
address is doesn’[e-mail].”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore MIL. Call cousin.

High road OP.

Do this. Think through if the cousin you all do not know wants to hear from you.

[Anonymous]

Your reaction is pretty nutty, OP.

[Anonymous]

She has no idea if you read your email either. Ignore.

DH can respond later on his own email - “Thanks for the message. Lots of people we know are being affected.” and leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Respond in a way she would not expect, that presents you as united.

Oh my gosh, DH and I are so sorry to hear this. That is so horrible! Thank you so much for letting us know! We will say a prayer for her. XOXO, Larla and DH

Op, this is what you should say, it's the perfect response. Presents a united front and you didn't let her get under your skin.

[Anonymous]

Btw, don't say "thank you" when you don't mean to thank them.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the email. I will respect that since he gets your other emails, that he will get this one and respond as he feels is best.

[Anonymous]

I would just respond: Ok. and cc DH.

[Anonymous]

Don't respond to her. You have done the right thing leave it with DH. Now block your MIL from your email.

You don't have to do anything more your DH can decide to call your MIL if he chooses just ignore her and block her on all your devices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Honest question from a mother of boys. How can I not become one of these mother-in-laws that all of you hate? I’m from a different culture and I don’t understand what these mother-in-laws have done to make daughter-in-laws hate them so much. Please don’t be snarky, I really want to know how to avoid becoming one of these mother-in-laws.

Well for one do not send an email saying Larla - I am only sending this to you because you check your email more frequently than my son. Please give it to him.

If you can not fathom why that is a bitchy thing to do then well there is little hope for you.

Unless Larla has said before that she doesn't want MIL emailing, and MIL was simply in effect apologizing for breaking that request. We don't know the backstory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^also, the most appropriate response would be to say “I’ve received your email and I will let DH know. Thank you.”[/quote]

+1 Actually, it is the most appropriate and ONLY response.

+2

[Anonymous]

Ignore, delete and block. She is just looking for attention from her son.

[Anonymous]

Honest question from a mother of boys. How can I not become one of these mother-in-laws that all of you hate? I’m from a different culture and I don’t understand what these mother-in-laws have done to make daughter-in-laws hate them so much. Please don’t be snarky, I really want to know how to avoid becoming one of these mother-in-laws.


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You do something like this:

Hi Jack and Jill! I hope you both are doing OK in this pandemic. I wanted to let you know, Auntie Larla passed away on Thursday due to the corona virus. I'm contact her daughter, cousin Katie, to send my sympathies, and I thought maybe you might want to reach out too? If so, cousin Kate's phone number, just so you have it, is blah blah blah.

Then fill in a newsy update about how you have been spending your pandemic time. Maybe a note about your garden, or your dog, or something you cooked.

Ask about the well being of your grandchildren if there are any and Jill's extended family.

Close with, "hugs", - MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore, delete and block. She is just looking for attention from her son.

Or she is informing him of a death in the family.