Would you let your 14 y/o freshman date a Junior?

[Anonymous]

Depending on the boy and his age, it may be fine or it may not be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real question is why would a parent ponder whether it is ok for her 14 year old daughter to date an 18 year old.

+1 I know, right? how is this even a question?

Parent want to be a cool parent.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by allow this? Can you really stop it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s a huge difference in age and maturity.

True, any 14YO girl will be far more mature than my junior boy!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most junior boys are having sex....

Can you point us to data supporting this claim?

Absolutely not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by allow this? Can you really stop it?

Just because you can’t stop something doesn’t mean you should try. Kids need to know their parents are at least trying to protect them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real question is why would a parent ponder whether it is ok for her 14 year old daughter to date an 18 year old.

She said junior, so 17 in most places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did and TRUELY wish we did not. They dated 1.5 years. He just broke up with her 2 days before Valentines Day. He is leaving to go to college in California and she is beyond devastated. She is screaming and crying. She starts therapy next week. They still remain "Best Friends" which does NO GOOD! Yes they slept together. We like the boy a lot. However, the age difference is huge and he is moving on. He explained it and she is in denial. Yes they will go to Prom and such.....but her heart is broken.

This is hilarious! He continues to use her as a FWB! I wonder what this girl's college-life will be like?

There are many boys who want to lose their virginity before they go to college. Then, there are many guys who want to lose their virginity as fast as they can when they are in college. Normally, naive girls are used by them in school and in college for this express purpose. These girls are not even "starter girlfriends". These are just convenient objects for the guys.

What they leave behind are girls who are complete wrecks! In school and in college.

Oh my goodness. They are *teenagers* and teenagers are usually not quite ready to make life long commitments to each other. It's far better that this boy was honest and broke up with Op's daughter rather than string her along and continue to allow her to believe that they have an exclusive, long distance relationship.

She could have just as easily broke up with him, btw. She will get over it and they will remain on friendly terms because this boy was above board with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did and TRUELY wish we did not. They dated 1.5 years. He just broke up with her 2 days before Valentines Day. He is leaving to go to college in California and she is beyond devastated. She is screaming and crying. She starts therapy next week. They still remain "Best Friends" which does NO GOOD! Yes they slept together. We like the boy a lot. However, the age difference is huge and he is moving on. He explained it and she is in denial. Yes they will go to Prom and such.....but her heart is broken.

This is hilarious! He continues to use her as a FWB! I wonder what this girl's college-life will be like?

There are many boys who want to lose their virginity before they go to college. Then, there are many guys who want to lose their virginity as fast as they can when they are in college. Normally, naive girls are used by them in school and in college for this express purpose. These girls are not even "starter girlfriends". These are just convenient objects for the guys.

What they leave behind are girls who are complete wrecks! In school and in college.

But this kid IS stringing her along until he leaves for college, vs. making a clean break.
Oh my goodness. They are *teenagers* and teenagers are usually not quite ready to make life long commitments to each other. It's far better that this boy was honest and broke up with Op's daughter rather than string her along and continue to allow her to believe that they have an exclusive, long distance relationship.

She could have just as easily broke up with him, btw. She will get over it and they will remain on friendly terms because this boy was above board with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by allow this? Can you really stop it?

Just because you can’t stop something doesn’t mean you should try. Kids need to know their parents are at least trying to protect them.

+1 there are times when your teen will throw a tantrum, give you the silent treatment or act like the world is coming to an end. Learn to be ok with all of this, it’s normal. Bull dozer, snow shoveling or whatever type of parenting it’s called, leads to just as many issues as helicopter parenting.

[Anonymous]

Do teens have healthier eggs and sperms at this age? Could they give birth to healthier babies with less physical and cognitive issues?

[Anonymous]

Not my own kid but I have no problem what your kid does. Do what feels right to you. There is 50% chance that it will be a good thing.

[Anonymous]

My 8th grade son was asked to go to a HS dance by a junior girl. They had to go to the principal of his MS (which was in the same building as but separate from the HS) to get permission. The principal said it was okay. He went and had a great time. I think they "dated" for just a short time. My husband and I were impressed but otherwise didn't really care. There was no sex involved.

So I guess my response to the original OP question is "yes".

[Anonymous]

"My kids are in school to study. Not a chance that they will be allowed to date anyone in school. They need to study hard, get the grades and remain focussed."

I was your kids in HS. When I got to a top 15 college, the first person I dated wrecked me.

I flunked out and have never really gotten back to where I could of been had I figured dating out in HS and only gone to a top 25 school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"My kids are in school to study. Not a chance that they will be allowed to date anyone in school. They need to study hard, get the grades and remain focussed."

I was your kids in HS. When I got to a top 15 college, the first person I dated wrecked me.

I flunked out and have never really gotten back to where I could of been had I figured dating out in HS and only gone to a top 25 school.

Yeah, well, RIP to you and your parents, but my family is different.
We have a lot of dialog and communication about career goals as well as relationships. Why were you so lacking in self esteem that you chose a jerk. Where was your support that you could not bounce back? Why have you not bounced back now?