Annoying Girl Scout Family--what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, if ever a situation warranted drinking, it’s chaperoning a bunch of Girl Scouts. But I can’t imagine actually doing it. I’ve been a troop leader for 10 years and most of the parents are my good friends and we go out and drink socially, but NO WAY during a scout function. We suck it up and deal.

As a parent I would be livid if I found out the adult chaperones were drinking. I would not be quiet about it.

Every single mom knew about trip 1 and didn’t care and all but me and one other knew about the second time and didn’t care

I'm a boy scout mom and I am disgusted by this. My kids are eagle scouts and grown now and I never saw a parent drink while being a chaperone on any trip or outing. It wouldn't be tolerated and the leaders would SPEAK UP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a girl scout leader in the DMV area for many years, as was my mother when I was young. I don't think drinking on an overnight trip by chaperones is okay at all! It's not safe for the girls, should there be a fire, or a medical emergency (allergy issue, injury, need for medication, etc.). That's extremely irresponsible behavior, and, as the mother of a child with a chronic illness myself, I would have been really upset by this.

Op doesn't seem to get this and these women are horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troop leader here who is currently working with my service unit for help in dealing with a difficult parent. What I know is that you can't single out this girl, but if you have emailed the whole troop with a deadline and clear instructions and she didn't respond, you are fine in saying that she can't attend. You can also send all girls/chaperones a behavior contract that they must sign and agree to, which includes the consequences for violation (e.g., having to leave the trip). You want a clear paper trail showing that everybody was given the same information and instructions. Removing a girl from the troop (if you wanted to move in that direction) is a different matter and would need mediation and an investigation with SU and council.

I think I may be echoing what others have already said, but it is fresh on my mind so I thought I would share.

Thanks, this is helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say book the trip now and if the other family gets back to you after that, tell them "sorry you missed the deadline". Is she even a registered member of your troop to even be included on the trip? If she hasn't done the cookie sales to raise money for the troop outing, I don't see how she could be included to spend the other girls money on the trip.

She is a registered member although it takes several reminders each year for her family to complete it. Cookie season with Suzie is another story all together. Just venting here but her parents will show up to a booth where she's not signed up and without a uniform because "she wants to sell more cookies" which then makes the numbers lower for the other girls at that booth spot. Then when she only sells like 50 the whole season she gets mad that she doesn't get the swag the other girls do. I am not the cookie mom so luckily I don't have to deal with that too much.

Our troop doesn't have any selling requirements though. We actually had a girl with us for the first 4 years whose mom wouldn't sell cookies because she was against the idea for nutritional reasons. So we decided early on that cookie selling is a choice and the girls could set their own goals and vote on what we do with the money. As they enter middle school and if we stay together we may reexamine that policy but when they were little it seemed to work well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my girl was in a troop with this girl/mom, I would have a major problem with you continuing to include them in travel trips with her stealing and behavioral issues and not participating in anything else but the trips. Her behavior and her mom's is a safety liability for everyone else involved. Don't extend the deadline for response. What if she does respond, then now you have to figure out how to deal with both of them and the high possibility of ruining the trip the the rest of the troop. You dont need to pretend to be nice or feel guilty for saying enough is enough.

Stealing? Does everyone just hate this mom now and we will add additional faults on here for fun?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say book the trip now and if the other family gets back to you after that, tell them "sorry you missed the deadline". Is she even a registered member of your troop to even be included on the trip? If she hasn't done the cookie sales to raise money for the troop outing, I don't see how she could be included to spend the other girls money on the trip.

She is a registered member although it takes several reminders each year for her family to complete it. Cookie season with Suzie is another story all together. Just venting here but her parents will show up to a booth where she's not signed up and without a uniform because "she wants to sell more cookies" which then makes the numbers lower for the other girls at that booth spot. Then when she only sells like 50 the whole season she gets mad that she doesn't get the swag the other girls do. I am not the cookie mom so luckily I don't have to deal with that too much.

Our troop doesn't have any selling requirements though. We actually had a girl with us for the first 4 years whose mom wouldn't sell cookies because she was against the idea for nutritional reasons. So we decided early on that cookie selling is a choice and the girls could set their own goals and vote on what we do with the money. As they enter middle school and if we stay together we may reexamine that policy but when they were little it seemed to work well.

If she's showing up for extra spots, why are her numbers lower then? I don't approve of the showing up unannounced routine, but maybe her parents were at least trying to address the kid's disappointment with prior year's swag by letting her sell extra at booths. But it's clearly not working if her numbers are still lower than the other girls. I guess she isn't selling much from a non-booth situation, e.g., to friends and family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say book the trip now and if the other family gets back to you after that, tell them "sorry you missed the deadline". Is she even a registered member of your troop to even be included on the trip? If she hasn't done the cookie sales to raise money for the troop outing, I don't see how she could be included to spend the other girls money on the trip.

She is a registered member although it takes several reminders each year for her family to complete it. Cookie season with Suzie is another story all together. Just venting here but her parents will show up to a booth where she's not signed up and without a uniform because "she wants to sell more cookies" which then makes the numbers lower for the other girls at that booth spot. Then when she only sells like 50 the whole season she gets mad that she doesn't get the swag the other girls do. I am not the cookie mom so luckily I don't have to deal with that too much.

Our troop doesn't have any selling requirements though. We actually had a girl with us for the first 4 years whose mom wouldn't sell cookies because she was against the idea for nutritional reasons. So we decided early on that cookie selling is a choice and the girls could set their own goals and vote on what we do with the money. As they enter middle school and if we stay together we may reexamine that policy but when they were little it seemed to work well.

If she's showing up for extra spots, why are her numbers lower then? I don't approve of the showing up unannounced routine, but maybe her parents were at least trying to address the kid's disappointment with prior year's swag by letting her sell extra at booths. But it's clearly not working if her numbers are still lower than the other girls. I guess she isn't selling much from a non-booth situation, e.g., to friends and family?

She does zero pre-sales and practically no sales to family/friends (maybe 10-15 boxes). Her parents miss the deadlines to sign her up for booths (shocking!) and then just show up randomly which reduces numbers for other girls. Well, that's what they did this year. I believe cookie mom told them they couldn't do that any more but she's a softie and felt sorry for Suzie I think. I mean, we all do, it's not her fault that her parents are so irresponsible!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my girl was in a troop with this girl/mom, I would have a major problem with you continuing to include them in travel trips with her stealing and behavioral issues and not participating in anything else but the trips. Her behavior and her mom's is a safety liability for everyone else involved. Don't extend the deadline for response. What if she does respond, then now you have to figure out how to deal with both of them and the high possibility of ruining the trip the the rest of the troop. You dont need to pretend to be nice or feel guilty for saying enough is enough.

Stealing? Does everyone just hate this mom now and we will add additional faults on here for fun?

No, the mom doesn't steal but the little girl does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my girl was in a troop with this girl/mom, I would have a major problem with you continuing to include them in travel trips with her stealing and behavioral issues and not participating in anything else but the trips. Her behavior and her mom's is a safety liability for everyone else involved. Don't extend the deadline for response. What if she does respond, then now you have to figure out how to deal with both of them and the high possibility of ruining the trip the the rest of the troop. You dont need to pretend to be nice or feel guilty for saying enough is enough.

Stealing? Does everyone just hate this mom now and we will add additional faults on here for fun?

No, the mom doesn't steal but the little girl does.

What? What is Susie stealing? I think I missed that part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the advice everyone, I feel very sorry for Suzie. I should also mention that she steals. She shoplifts and takes things she wants from other kids. So that's another thing. I actually did talk to her teacher a couple of years ago to confirm that she was getting some kind of counseling which she was at the time. The parents seem completely clueless as to how abnormal this behavior is. It's tragic because I have watched her become this broken creature over these years. She was such a happy and creative little kindergartener and whatever has happened at home has just destoryed her.

I am going to send a final email to them with a deadline of Friday to respond and then will move on the trip without her. I do think I'll reach out to council and let them know about the situation (minus the wine! haha)

Oh here it is. I totally missed that, sorry.

[Anonymous]

OP, may I suggest that at this point you've received a lot of advice and that sharing more about this girl's situation online isn't the way to handle this? Believe me, I get the need to vent about annoying GS families, but it seems unnecessary to start adding in the details of her cookie sales when the original question was about how to handle the RSVP/chaperone question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, may I suggest that at this point you've received a lot of advice and that sharing more about this girl's situation online isn't the way to handle this? Believe me, I get the need to vent about annoying GS families, but it seems unnecessary to start adding in the details of her cookie sales when the original question was about how to handle the RSVP/chaperone question.

Agreed...but it was nice to vent. Thanks everyone for the advice!

[Anonymous]

Scoutmaster here for an all-girl Scout BSA Troop. Yes, we have a "Suzie" in our group with a pretty irresponsible mom who is also divorced. Suzie really misbehaved on a consistent basis so we suspended her for a while and required mom to be there with Suzie at all times when she returned. That worked for us. However, I can see that it just would have fallen apart if we allowed the mom or others to drink. Jeez, in this liability environment you as a volunteer leader leave yourself entirely open to suits and youth abuse complaints if you allow that to go on. That is … plain … scary. And, the girl can suit you personally 30 years from now! No kidding!

[Anonymous]

You really need to stop turning a blind eye to parent chaperones drinking on trips. That's NOT ok. It's even worse to have a "if I don't see if but you're not drunk its fine" unofficial policy. It needs to be a dry weekend, with a parent HH at the end of it (after all girls are home) if they really need an excuse to drink together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You really need to stop turning a blind eye to parent chaperones drinking on trips. That's NOT ok. It's even worse to have a "if I don't see if but you're not drunk its fine" unofficial policy. It needs to be a dry weekend, with a parent HH at the end of it (after all girls are home) if they really need an excuse to drink together.

I do not have an "if I don't see it you're not drunk its fine" policy. I have told them not to drink and reiterated it when I saw that one of them brought a bottle of wine on a trip after I told them not to. But I'm not searching through people's stuff and/or breathalizing them! There's no wink and nod going on here. I've told them not to do it. The mom sharing a room with me isn't drinking and neither am I.

I am going to have a meeting before our big trip as suggested by a previous poster and will again remind them about not consuming alcohol on the trip and all chaperones have to do the overnight training again so they'll get that information twice. Then I'll send it in email (as I have the last 2 trips). I don't know what else I can do....