Annoying Girl Scout Family--what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is too old to be in Girl Scouts, let alone for you to care about it this much.

Ass. Would you say the same thing about boys who earn their Eagle Scout status?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update: Suzie’s dad emailed that they were working on summer custody schedule and didn’t know if it would work yet but he would be happy to chaperone if so. I told him that we can’t facilitate male chaperones on this trip and that I was facing a deadline and it sounds like Suzie can’t be part of this. I mean, it’s clearly not a priority for them and it’s only 4 months away....how can they still have no idea what their custody schedule looks????

Given what mom is like and she probably dictates the summer schedule is it a surprise that he doesn't know. If mom's the issue, the easy solution is to let Dad go. Why can't he go and just pay for his own hotel/stuff? Cub Scouts allow mom or dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update: Suzie’s dad emailed that they were working on summer custody schedule and didn’t know if it would work yet but he would be happy to chaperone if so. I told him that we can’t facilitate male chaperones on this trip and that I was facing a deadline and it sounds like Suzie can’t be part of this. I mean, it’s clearly not a priority for them and it’s only 4 months away....how can they still have no idea what their custody schedule looks????

Wow, I feel bad for Suzy, for so many reasons. Sounds like every expects the worst from the poor girl, haven't heard anything positive about her, just that she's been encouraged to participate with multiple emails and requests, and then when she does, everyone is upset by it.

It feels like OP is a bit of a drama queen who wants to be able to say.. I did all I could for her, tried so hard, but she was just such a mess. Each update includes more "transgressions" and reasons OP would like to remove Suzy from the troop, but instead of making a policy and sticking to it-- bit it for RSVPing to events, cookie sales, or drinking as a chaperone, OP likes to say "And you won't believe what else... ", "what am I to do?"


Guess it's a good thing Suzy isn't vegetarian and wanting to attend the trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update: Suzie’s dad emailed that they were working on summer custody schedule and didn’t know if it would work yet but he would be happy to chaperone if so. I told him that we can’t facilitate male chaperones on this trip and that I was facing a deadline and it sounds like Suzie can’t be part of this. I mean, it’s clearly not a priority for them and it’s only 4 months away....how can they still have no idea what their custody schedule looks????

Wow, I feel bad for Suzy, for so many reasons. Sounds like every expects the worst from the poor girl, haven't heard anything positive about her, just that she's been encouraged to participate with multiple emails and requests, and then when she does, everyone is upset by it.

It feels like OP is a bit of a drama queen who wants to be able to say.. I did all I could for her, tried so hard, but she was just such a mess. Each update includes more "transgressions" and reasons OP would like to remove Suzy from the troop, but instead of making a policy and sticking to it-- bit it for RSVPing to events, cookie sales, or drinking as a chaperone, OP likes to say "And you won't believe what else... ", "what am I to do?"


Guess it's a good thing Suzy isn't vegetarian and wanting to attend the trip.

Dad is trying to step up as OP doesn't want mom around and she's not letting him participate either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update: Suzie’s dad emailed that they were working on summer custody schedule and didn’t know if it would work yet but he would be happy to chaperone if so. I told him that we can’t facilitate male chaperones on this trip and that I was facing a deadline and it sounds like Suzie can’t be part of this. I mean, it’s clearly not a priority for them and it’s only 4 months away....how can they still have no idea what their custody schedule looks????

Wow, I feel bad for Suzy, for so many reasons. Sounds like every expects the worst from the poor girl, haven't heard anything positive about her, just that she's been encouraged to participate with multiple emails and requests, and then when she does, everyone is upset by it.

It feels like OP is a bit of a drama queen who wants to be able to say.. I did all I could for her, tried so hard, but she was just such a mess. Each update includes more "transgressions" and reasons OP would like to remove Suzy from the troop, but instead of making a policy and sticking to it-- bit it for RSVPing to events, cookie sales, or drinking as a chaperone, OP likes to say "And you won't believe what else... ", "what am I to do?"


Guess it's a good thing Suzy isn't vegetarian and wanting to attend the trip.

Dad is trying to step up as OP doesn't want mom around and she's not letting him participate either.

Dad "stepped up" too late. This isn't about OP shutting out a dad because he's a dad. OP gave many (far too many) chances and notices to this family -- yes, the family, as its mom's job to communicate with dad, not OP's, if mom is the designated contact for the GS troop. OP said in the very first post: The group must reserve specific activities by specific deadlines. I think OP gave too many second chances too close to those reservation deadlines -- OP wants to give Suzie a chance despite all the issues Suzie and mom bring with them, so it's incorrect to say OP wants to exclude Suzie no matter what. Most of the leaders commenting here (including me) would have shut the door on Suzie and mom quite a while back based entirely on the total lack of response to communications about the trip details and reservations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update: Suzie’s dad emailed that they were working on summer custody schedule and didn’t know if it would work yet but he would be happy to chaperone if so. I told him that we can’t facilitate male chaperones on this trip and that I was facing a deadline and it sounds like Suzie can’t be part of this. I mean, it’s clearly not a priority for them and it’s only 4 months away....how can they still have no idea what their custody schedule looks????

Wow, I feel bad for Suzy, for so many reasons. Sounds like every expects the worst from the poor girl, haven't heard anything positive about her, just that she's been encouraged to participate with multiple emails and requests, and then when she does, everyone is upset by it.

It feels like OP is a bit of a drama queen who wants to be able to say.. I did all I could for her, tried so hard, but she was just such a mess. Each update includes more "transgressions" and reasons OP would like to remove Suzy from the troop, but instead of making a policy and sticking to it-- bit it for RSVPing to events, cookie sales, or drinking as a chaperone, OP likes to say "And you won't believe what else... ", "what am I to do?"


Guess it's a good thing Suzy isn't vegetarian and wanting to attend the trip.

Dad is trying to step up as OP doesn't want mom around and she's not letting him participate either.

Dad "stepped up" too late. This isn't about OP shutting out a dad because he's a dad. OP gave many (far too many) chances and notices to this family -- yes, the family, as its mom's job to communicate with dad, not OP's, if mom is the designated contact for the GS troop. OP said in the very first post: The group must reserve specific activities by specific deadlines. I think OP gave too many second chances too close to those reservation deadlines -- OP wants to give Suzie a chance despite all the issues Suzie and mom bring with them, so it's incorrect to say OP wants to exclude Suzie no matter what. Most of the leaders commenting here (including me) would have shut the door on Suzie and mom quite a while back based entirely on the total lack of response to communications about the trip details and reservations.

Our troop doesn't usually have dad chaperones for overnights because there are additional rules about mixed gender sleeping arrangements. We are fortunate that it has never been an issue for our troop to have a kid who only had a dad willing to chaperone but I guess if we did we'd have to look more carefully about these rules and see if we could accommodate it. I know of at least one dad-led GS troop in our council so it's obviously possible, just not something we've had to worry about looking into further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is too old to be in Girl Scouts, let alone for you to care about it this much.

Ass. Would you say the same thing about boys who earn their Eagle Scout status?

Of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update: Suzie’s dad emailed that they were working on summer custody schedule and didn’t know if it would work yet but he would be happy to chaperone if so. I told him that we can’t facilitate male chaperones on this trip and that I was facing a deadline and it sounds like Suzie can’t be part of this. I mean, it’s clearly not a priority for them and it’s only 4 months away....how can they still have no idea what their custody schedule looks????

Wow, I feel bad for Suzy, for so many reasons. Sounds like every expects the worst from the poor girl, haven't heard anything positive about her, just that she's been encouraged to participate with multiple emails and requests, and then when she does, everyone is upset by it.

It feels like OP is a bit of a drama queen who wants to be able to say.. I did all I could for her, tried so hard, but she was just such a mess. Each update includes more "transgressions" and reasons OP would like to remove Suzy from the troop, but instead of making a policy and sticking to it-- bit it for RSVPing to events, cookie sales, or drinking as a chaperone, OP likes to say "And you won't believe what else... ", "what am I to do?"


Guess it's a good thing Suzy isn't vegetarian and wanting to attend the trip.

Yup.

[Anonymous]

Suzie and her father should head straight out the door to another organization. There are a lot of organizations that would welcome a father-daughter combination to participate -- especially if the boozy mom is not involved. Suzie might benefit from some role models who make and adhere to firm decisions. Reading these posts is causing eyeball rolls due to the repeated re-evaluations regarding what to do when another incremental factor is injected.

[Anonymous]

My organization allows separate gender sleeping arrangements and they are pretty simple. Separate sleeping rooms for women and men and separate bathrooms. Not much of a big deal. Since you are glamping, it shouldn't be a being deal if you want to accommodate girls accompanied by fathers.

[Anonymous]

I thought Girl Scouts was supposed to be welcoming and inclusive. It's very obvious when you're being excluded and that's a jerky thing for the leaders to do to impressionable young children and parents who are struggling with other issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought Girl Scouts was supposed to be welcoming and inclusive. It's very obvious when you're being excluded and that's a jerky thing for the leaders to do to impressionable young children and parents who are struggling with other issues.

OP was welcoming and inclusive. In return she got perpetually crapped on. Her obligation was fulfilled - time for her to move in without Susie and her family.

[Anonymous]

I think they also have the GSUSA drinking problem. Best to get Suzie out of there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update: Suzie’s dad emailed that they were working on summer custody schedule and didn’t know if it would work yet but he would be happy to chaperone if so. I told him that we can’t facilitate male chaperones on this trip and that I was facing a deadline and it sounds like Suzie can’t be part of this. I mean, it’s clearly not a priority for them and it’s only 4 months away....how can they still have no idea what their custody schedule looks????

You continued to pursue them to get them to RSVP to the trip even though you got tons of advice to just stop and now you are back asking for more advice when you inevitably got the response you claimed you didnt want. Stop pretending to be surprised. You are creating all this unnecessary drama when you had an out. Now you are criticizing them for not having a custody plan. Stop being so dam judgey. Divorce sucks and its hard, especially if both parents arent of the same page.

[Anonymous]

Below are quotes clipped from this string, with any minor child's name deleted. GSUSA volunteers certainly kick back and enjoying themselves at these glamping parties. At least my cookie contributions are upgrading the mental health of these over-tasked folks! Are all of these weekend trips this enjoyable?

She was not the only one who drank on that trip (I did not and I am a pretty regular drinker...but I just follow that rule very strictly for GS trips). A group of moms went and bought wine from the hotel lobby and drank it. Most of the moms didn't have more than a glass but I think (deleted minor girl’s name)'s mom had been drinking her own supply all evening or is a total lightweight.

We did another trip about a year later and I told all of the moms not to drink ((deleted minor girl’s name)'s mom was not on that trip, nor was (deleted minor girl’s name)). I know at least one other mom snuck in a bottle of wine. Against the rules but as long as nobody is impaired I'm not going to get tooooo upset about it. I will just remind everyone again...

The very first GS event we had (a simple overnight at a hotel with a pool), I honestly didn't know the rules and neither did anyone else and we all brought wine. But again, we didn't over consume it. Like 2 glasses over the entire course of the evening. Then I ended up doing the camping training and indoor/outdoor overnight training and I found out it was against the rules but I think these moms like each other so much it feels like a social opportunity to them as well. So the two other trips we've taken they drank (I did not) but only (deleted minor girl’s name)'s mom was out of control. I will continue to remind them not to drink on GS trips but I'm honestly not going to go crazy enforcing it if nobody is driving and I can't tell they've been drinking. It's weird though because at our school's overnight camp there's a no drinking rule and as far as I can tell nobody breaks that one.

And I should mention the time (deleted minor girl’s name)'s mom got so drunk I had no idea they were even drinking. I was down the hall in a different room with another chaperone and 3 girls and we were sleeping!! I just heard stories from other moms the next day.

They are the parents I've got for the troop I've got. I've asked them not to drink and it seems like some of them don't want to adhere to that on overnight trips but short of a major confrontation about this I don't know how to force them to stop.

You can't police adults every second if they're inside hotel rooms, nor should you, of course! At some point if they're going to break the rule, they're going to break it, but that doesn't mean you should soft-pedal telling them in advance that it does apply to them. I get a sense here of moms who maybe have gotten a bit used to thinking of GS overnight events as chances to catch up--which they are, but with rules attached.

Man, if ever a situation warranted drinking, it’s chaperoning a bunch of Girl Scouts.

I pretty much chug a big glass of wine after each meeting. We are planning a camping trip this summer and everyone in the troop will be invited but it won't be an official GS trip (not using troop funds,etc.) so if parents want to have a beer by the campfire...so be it.

Maybe drinking wine would make them less annoying.

And yet at our outings/camp outs half the moms are drinking 'tea' from an insulated cup at 9pm....

By “their” room does that mean drunk (deleted minor girl’s name)’s mom was sharing a room with (deleted minor girl’s name)? Or with the other parents who had gone drinking? The latter is more forgivable than the former I think.

She was in a room with (deleted minor girl’s name) and another hot mess mom who was only in the troop a year and the 2 girls (and the dog). Other hot mess mom was crazy but she apparently didn’t drink much.

I'm a boy scout mom and I am disgusted by this. My kids are eagle scouts and grown now and I never saw a parent drink while being a chaperone on any trip or outing. It wouldn't be tolerated and the leaders would SPEAK UP.

You really need to stop turning a blind eye to parent chaperones drinking on trips. That's NOT ok. It's even worse to have a "if I don't see if but you're not drunk its fine" unofficial policy. It needs to be a dry weekend, with a parent HH at the end of it (after all girls are home) if they really need an excuse to drink together.

I don’t think the moms having one glass of wine are the issue here. Although they should knock that off.