Friend doesn’t let me drive or host her DD

[Anonymous]

I have known two Indian moms who were born in India. They have very very conservative and protective ideas on child rearing. They never wanted the kid out of house before three unless going to another family member. My former nanny was working for an Indian mom and finally quit because she had so many insane restrictions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if you don’t like being around other races, the USA is not for you. Insularity is not a good look on anyone.

Are you going to deport the white supremacists?

I would LOVE to deport them to whatever place will take ‘em!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is cultural. You may be a nice person, but you are not someone that she will trust with her child. I am the same way.

I am very reluctant to trust people outside of my culture. Truth be told most immigrant women do not trust American women no matter how nice you appear to be. Many immigrant women tend to be conservative. We take threat to many of the loose and liberal parental styles that some Americans practice.

Also, what is okay or normal in your culture may be offensive in your friend's culture.

Please do not take it personal. It is cultural and you will never understand our ways. Just focus on the children's friendships without being overbearing. Do not be pushy or create unnecessary drama. You have no idea how difficult it is to trust someone with your most prized possession your child.

You realize racism can be embedded in a cultural? Mistrusting and stereotyping a whole race is classic racism.
I hope this "cultural tradition" isn't passed down to your kids, that their white friends can't be trusted since they are not "Indian" enough.

I’m Hispanic, born in Central America and I can’t stand this racist shit. It’s just like me saying I would be uncomfortable with my kids with Black families because they are from another culture. Or Indian. Or if a white family said that about mine.

[Anonymous]

Cultural/personal choice. I’d feel
Relived/off the hook and obviously stop asking if u havent already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cultural/personal choice. I’d feel
Relived/off the hook and obviously stop asking if u havent already.

What bothers me about this is that the other mom keeps reaching out to her. It's all one sided and I can see how this is frustrating to OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Why are so many of you devastated that a minority mom does not want their children to be host by you? Minorities have to constantly be in white spaces. Sometimes we just want a break from you. We do not want to constantly entertain you or your children. We do that at work and at school all day long. I can guarantee you that every brown and black person will have to agree that is it sometimes refreshing to not have to always be in white spaces all the time. People just want to be around like minded families and that is okay. It is okay for individuals to spend their free time around those who understand them and their culture.

I swear, white fragility is beyond exhausting. Folks claim that they want to maintain cultural ties with people within their community, but fragile white women are hurt by this. The audacity of white privileged which thinks that the OP's friend is obliged to submit to her every whim.

Respect people's cultures and their comfort level. The passive aggressiveness and your blinded white privileged makes many minority moms uncomfortable. Some of the posts in this thread just solidifies to me the arrogance and sense of entitlement that some people have. No, it is not your right to expect or dictate how another mom chooses to raise their child. Different moms have different comfort levels and that is perfectly fine.

Some of you lack cultural sensitivity and awareness. This is what many minority moms fear about having you host our children. You can not hide your veiled racism and cultural bigotry from us. Think about your interactions with minority moms on a daily basis. Some of the same folks here whining are probably so blinded by their mistreatment of minority moms.

So do you.

[Anonymous]

We really need a thread about "my child is my most prized possession." Now that is beyond messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Why are so many of you devastated that a minority mom does not want their children to be host by you? Minorities have to constantly be in white spaces. Sometimes we just want a break from you. We do not want to constantly entertain you or your children. We do that at work and at school all day long. I can guarantee you that every brown and black person will have to agree that is it sometimes refreshing to not have to always be in white spaces all the time. People just want to be around like minded families and that is okay. It is okay for individuals to spend their free time around those who understand them and their culture.

I swear, white fragility is beyond exhausting. Folks claim that they want to maintain cultural ties with people within their community, but fragile white women are hurt by this. The audacity of white privileged which thinks that the OP's friend is obliged to submit to her every whim.

Respect people's cultures and their comfort level. The passive aggressiveness and your blinded white privileged makes many minority moms uncomfortable. Some of the posts in this thread just solidifies to me the arrogance and sense of entitlement that some people have. No, it is not your right to expect or dictate how another mom chooses to raise their child. Different moms have different comfort levels and that is perfectly fine.

Some of you lack cultural sensitivity and awareness. This is what many minority moms fear about having you host our children. You can not hide your veiled racism and cultural bigotry from us. Think about your interactions with minority moms on a daily basis. Some of the same folks here whining are probably so blinded by their mistreatment of minority moms.

Coming back atcha it’s exhausting to endure your blatant racism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have known two Indian moms who were born in India. They have very very conservative and protective ideas on child rearing. They never wanted the kid out of house before three unless going to another family member. My former nanny was working for an Indian mom and finally quit because she had so many insane restrictions.

THIS. Both vain and judgmental. My neighbors thought my kids were little hos because they wore skinny jeans at age 10. (Instead if baggy jeans from Walmart) My Indian neighbor told so many name dropping lies about her life I couldn’t listen to it anymore. She was on speaking terms with Mother Theresa and Michelle Obama. She expected me to believe this ... wonderful when she moved away and told her stories to someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would honestly let this friendship fizzle. As your DD gets older, goes to middle school, etc. she’s going to want friends she can actually socialize with. (We were in a similar situation with a Korean family. I just let it die on the vine.)

Yeah..This friend and her special family are too much..

Yup. Racism can go both ways. Maybe she doesn't like your race OP.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Obviously, she can’t trust my race with her most prized possession. But then why does she maintain friendship?

I’m going to let this fizzle out and find some friends without psychiatric issues.