Wife expects me to be "on" after a work trip

[Anonymous]

This is just bad parenting. You shouldn’t be getting up for kids that age. Wear earplugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All 3 of your kids should be sleeping through the night.
Fix this and the problem will be solved.

Ultimately this is the answer. There shouldn’t be any resentment and trading night duty. Sleep training needs to be the priority.

This. OP is focused on the wrong thing.

[Anonymous]

Dude - be an adult and fix your sleep issue with hotels. Earplugs, Advil PM, glass of wine, whatever you need to sleep. This is YOUR issue. Your wife is on every night when you are gone. OR, stop traveling for work.

[Anonymous]

Fix your real problem so you can sleep in hotel rooms and sleep on airplanes.

[Anonymous]

If you travel frequently you might consider getting her a hotel room every once in a while when you’re home. It does a world of good.

[Anonymous]

She should suck it up and take care the kids and extra day. Traveling is rough and she's totally inconsiderate. Typical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you sleep in a hotel room? I would have no sympathy if my husband got a quiet room to himself with zero interruption and “couldn’t sleep”

There isn’t any reason you shouldn’t come back rested. Next time take an ambien or a Xanax

I would kill for a Xanax prescription.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should suck it up and take care the kids and extra day. Traveling is rough and she's totally inconsiderate. Typical.

Right? Handling all the parental responsibilities for a week and then asking for a night off, what a horrid BASIC wench. What does she think their bedroom is, a hotel room or something? JEEZ

[Anonymous]

Funny, all the world bank and IFC moms I know fly a 12 hour flight back and can’t wait to play with or talk with their children. They even Immediately wake up and go to the evening or early morning swim meets or games. And sometimes have to do latam red eyes.

And before they go on a short or long trip, they have to type up the family schedule hour by hour for their spouse and nanny to not forget something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is right. She has been on the entire time you are gone. Give her a break!

But neither wife or OP has gotten any sleep.

Wife is up with baby some nights (and 3 yr old too?). Op doesnt sleep well/also up all night, but the difference is he is in a hotel.

Sounds like the playing field is even

[Anonymous]

What in gods name were you two thinking when one of you thought it would be a good idea to have three children????

It’s a lot to take care of one let alone three!

You both did the crime, you both do the time.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of posters here don't do business travel. They sound kind of ignorant. Most people I know (and me) who have to travel work very hard on those trips and get very little sleep. It's not some spa night. I come back from my trips exhausted. (And I am a former SAHM with multiple kids who did all night shifts for awhile, so I know the comparison.)

OP, you need to go to your usual 50/50 when you get back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is right. She has been on the entire time you are gone. Give her a break!

But neither wife or OP has gotten any sleep.

Wife is up with baby some nights (and 3 yr old too?). Op doesnt sleep well/also up all night, but the difference is he is in a hotel.

Sounds like the playing field is even

It's not. OP said in the very first post that he is dreading coming home because he will have to go back to night duty. It's unfortunate that he's a light sleeper, but that doesn't get him out of parenting duty. A week on her own with three kids! And he wants time to rest! I would be furious if I were the wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny, all the world bank and IFC moms I know fly a 12 hour flight back and can’t wait to play with or talk with their children. They even Immediately wake up and go to the evening or early morning swim meets or games. And sometimes have to do latam red eyes.

And before they go on a short or long trip, they have to type up the family schedule hour by hour for their spouse and nanny to not forget something.

Correct, because they have NANNIES.

[Anonymous]

Wife here.
If this were a 1 time deal and typically by DH was amazing and an amazing dad. I would let him have the night off to rest.
IF, however he were a whiny man baby who constantly tried to get out of parenting our kids and uses work as a reason. Then yep. HE is on night duty.