Parents of Asian-American Kids: What did you learn from the college admissions process?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, this thread is a good example of what's wrong with the approaches taken by many Asian families and why top colleges don't want full of Asian kids. There are ~4000 colleges in US. The "success" threshold for Asian families are (not all but most) are top 10-20 schools... The "Ivy/M/S or Bust" approach is not healthy. If I were an admission officer, I would do my best to mix kids from all SES/racial backgrounds. And I say this as an Asian parent. You see this happening at HS level too as you see here re. TJ posts

Don't put words in other people's mouths. Most Asian families DON"T think only the top colleges mean success. The problem Asian students with the same qualification as their non-Asian peers can only think of one or two levels down in admission. Yes, they can still attend college, but why do they have to work harder and achieve more to get in the same?

[Anonymous]

Yawn it's about connections not your undergrad for crying out loud

No one cares about your undergrad or first job out of school long term

Spend more time on soft skills it will help all your kids more in life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a child who is intellectually gifted who scores really high on testing and gets straight As. She’s Caucasian. How come I realize that’s not necessarily enough to get into Harvard, but Asians think that’s all it takes? I mean it must just be cultural.

The ones who believe they are qualified don't just have high scores. They have everything except for race and "personalities". Also, not all Asians think they deserve spots in top universities. DC is a mediocre Asian student and if we'll be thrilled if he gets in any of our state universities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, this thread is a good example of what's wrong with the approaches taken by many Asian families and why top colleges don't want full of Asian kids. There are ~4000 colleges in US. The "success" threshold for Asian families are (not all but most) are top 10-20 schools... The "Ivy/M/S or Bust" approach is not healthy. If I were an admission officer, I would do my best to mix kids from all SES/racial backgrounds. And I say this as an Asian parent. You see this happening at HS level too as you see here re. TJ posts

I do not agree.

Asians have to break the bamboo ceiling. All the kids who went on to do well in no-name colleges are White. Asians do not get this kind of opportunities unless they are going with colleges that have the name recognition. With all the steller stats my kid has, he cannot change the race that he is in. If a person is biracial (White with whatever other race) and if they can pass for White, they should position themselves as White candidate.

No one has the Ivy/M/S mentality, but the employers do. And the employers are White who want to employ White people. The only Asians they want to employ are the ones who can be exploited for a very low pay like the H1B visa slaves or someone who has the credentials and training from a good college.

Anyhow, the only silver lining is that most Asian-American parents will sacrifice a lot in their lives to make sure that the kids get an education and a financial leg-up in life. As the cost of college education keeps on rising Asian-Americans may come out on the top because their parents help them out.

I work at a Fortune 100 company, and it's NOT like you described above. We have Asians and Indians in positions of power too. And the Whites (like me) definitely are NOT focused on employing other White people. We like to employ smart and hard-working people, regardless of race.

[Anonymous]

Seems like a lot of non-Asian-Americans decided to chime in on this thread.

DC went an independent school and attends his first choice Ivy. The process was pretty typical - visited where his smartest and happiest older friends went, sat in on some classes, loved his top choice but would have been glad to go to any of the five schools on his list. Comparatively low stress all around.

DC had only a couple A-s balanced by a couple A+s. He missed the NMSF cutoff on the PSAT but scored 1550+ on the SATs later in junior year. DC's application stood out because he's humanities-oriented with rave recs from his teachers and college counselor. Participated in a nationally known highly competitive free summer academic program. Took relatively few APs because his high school is in the midst of phasing them out. No violin/piano, no sports, no calculus, no physics.

DC's Asian-ness was undoubtedly an asset. He is second generation and started his school's Asian-American affinity group. His group got a reputation for working in concert with the African-American and Latino student groups at his high school and beyond. As a result he spoke at numerous conferences outside of school to other students, teachers, and administrators. Colleges want students who can be leaders in their various communities and DC had a record of it in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child who is intellectually gifted who scores really high on testing and gets straight As. She’s Caucasian. How come I realize that’s not necessarily enough to get into Harvard, but Asians think that’s all it takes? I mean it must just be cultural.

The ones who believe they are qualified don't just have high scores. They have everything except for race and "personalities". Also, not all Asians think they deserve spots in top universities. DC is a mediocre Asian student and if we'll be thrilled if he gets in any of our state universities.

Yeah. They *believe* they have everything because they *thought* they had the secret formula and have been molding and shaping their child into the perfect college candidate for 12 years. “But he’s got perfect grades and test scores, plays the violin and tennis, and has internships!” I can see why it hurts if this has been something you’ve researched since your kid was 6 and have done everything right by your kid, but everything you’ve been told was wrong.

[Anonymous]

“I have a child who is intellectually gifted who scores really high on testing and gets straight As. She’s Caucasian. How come I realize that’s not necessarily enough to get into Harvard, but Asians think that’s all it takes? I mean it must just be cultural.”


Love how a lot of parents on here who think their mediocre students are “intellectually gifted.” Most high school gifted programs usually take top 5% and then there are high schools that water down the criterion to top 10%. They may be “gifted” in your district, but they are not truly “gifted.” Most self-styled “intellectually gifted” kids can’t hang with ivy students.

[Anonymous]

In my organization, I don’t really see anything to suggest discrimination against Asian Americans. If anything, they benefit from the presumption that they are somehow smarter than the average white guy. Now if you are talking about a “stereotypical” quiet, awkward Asian American who is brilliant but has no social skills, they could have some difficulty in the hiring process because people like employees who can get along well with coworkers, clients, customers, etc. The awkward white guy with no social skills will run into the same problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yawn it's about connections not your undergrad for crying out loud

No one cares about your undergrad or first job out of school long term

Spend more time on soft skills it will help all your kids more in life

Lol. So you fall back on stereotypeing? Is softskills shorthand forconnections?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“I have a child who is intellectually gifted who scores really high on testing and gets straight As. She’s Caucasian. How come I realize that’s not necessarily enough to get into Harvard, but Asians think that’s all it takes? I mean it must just be cultural.”


Love how a lot of parents on here who think their mediocre students are “intellectually gifted.” Most high school gifted programs usually take top 5% and then there are high schools that water down the criterion to top 10%. They may be “gifted” in your district, but they are not truly “gifted.” Most self-styled “intellectually gifted” kids can’t hang with ivy students.

While I certainly see your point and agree with the overuse of "gifted", nearly every elite adcom in the world will tell you that they could replace their class entirely and still have a top notch cohort, and then do it again a few more times. There are lots of smart kids out there. Way too many for the top schools. That's the "problem" if you see it as one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL

That is funny. I also, from the DMV, had never heard of that school. Amusing that they think it is SO impressive in their little NoVA bubble

Bud, your bulb is weak to sputtering. Seriously lacking in minimum needed brightness.

Signed - Not a TJ parent.

+1

Must be real ignoramus if you do not know of TJ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL

That is funny. I also, from the DMV, had never heard of that school. Amusing that they think it is SO impressive in their little NoVA bubble

Bud, your bulb is weak to sputtering. Seriously lacking in minimum needed brightness.

Signed - Not a TJ parent.

+1

Must be real ignoramus if you do not know of TJ

Ignore the crazies -- it is actually better for everyone when they claim not to know of TJ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, this thread is a good example of what's wrong with the approaches taken by many Asian families and why top colleges don't want full of Asian kids. There are ~4000 colleges in US. The "success" threshold for Asian families are (not all but most) are top 10-20 schools... The "Ivy/M/S or Bust" approach is not healthy. If I were an admission officer, I would do my best to mix kids from all SES/racial backgrounds. And I say this as an Asian parent. You see this happening at HS level too as you see here re. TJ posts

I do not agree.

Asians have to break the bamboo ceiling. All the kids who went on to do well in no-name colleges are White. Asians do not get this kind of opportunities unless they are going with colleges that have the name recognition. With all the steller stats my kid has, he cannot change the race that he is in. If a person is biracial (White with whatever other race) and if they can pass for White, they should position themselves as White candidate.

No one has the Ivy/M/S mentality, but the employers do. And the employers are White who want to employ White people. The only Asians they want to employ are the ones who can be exploited for a very low pay like the H1B visa slaves or someone who has the credentials and training from a good college.

Anyhow, the only silver lining is that most Asian-American parents will sacrifice a lot in their lives to make sure that the kids get an education and a financial leg-up in life. As the cost of college education keeps on rising Asian-Americans may come out on the top because their parents help them out.

I work at a Fortune 100 company, and it's NOT like you described above. We have Asians and Indians in positions of power too. And the Whites (like me) definitely are NOT focused on employing other White people. We like to employ smart and hard-working people, regardless of race.

Everyone likes to think that but have you done an honest examination of your implicit bias?

[Anonymous]

How about all of the successful immigrants who received degrees from foreign schools that most American's cannot pronounce, let alone rank in terms of quality.

That poor poster who is convinced his/her child is starting life with this HUGE disadvantage every step of the way must be really messing up their kid's attitudes and psychology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the white parent of a TJ kid, and I will tell you what I have seen in action. There are excellent, very well respected schools where your kid will get a great education— even in STEM— and that will place them at the top of the grad school admissions heap. And Asian kids are not applying. Those that do are getting a boost over white girls (girls are also over represented).

For example, Grinnell and Oberlin are both top SLACs. They are also both in the top 5 in science PhD production by graduates. Their science grads consistently get into the top handful of grad programs in their field. They both having phenomenal med school placement. A science kid will go and do hands on published research with a professor for 4 years if they want it and get great internships. Because they aren’t competing with grad students. And a high achieving Asian kid is likely to be considered URM and get half tuition merit aid.

These schools also exist in engineering (but the selection is weaker). Mudd, of course. Rose Hulman. Cooper Union. You have a girl who is interested in international relations? HRC and Madeline Albright went to Wellesley. Have your kid who writes apply to Kenyon.

OTOH, the landscape for UVA, Michigan, Purdue is pretty brutal. For whites too. But it does look like Asian boys take the hardest hit.

From the outside looking in, it seems like Asian parents are overlooking small schools that lack national name recognition, but are very well respected in their fields. Asian kids are being heavily recruited by these schools right now. Look on the the Liberal Arts College side of USNWR instead of national university. Liberal arts doesn’t mean underwater basket weaving, or even humanities. It means no grad school. Which can be a huge benefit to kids who aren’t crowded out by grad students and sitting in huge classes taught by TAs. They get small classes and a lot of access to the full professors.

Anyway. I know you wanted the Asian insight. And I respect that. But from the outside looking in, I’m shocked as to where Asian kids aren’t applying.

As the parent of an Asian Junior I really appreciate this input! We don't know where to begin and slowly figuring things out so every bit of information helps!