Parents of Asian-American Kids: What did you learn from the college admissions process?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

That’s what the study done on Harvard’s African American graduates show. Harvard URMs don’t do well even with a Harvard degree.

No, that's your interpretation. Another one is that institutional racism is so pervasive, that even a Harvard degree doesn't complete mitigate it. Black and Latino kids with a Harvard degree in hand on average have better outcomes and more doors opened than their POC counterparts who attended Podunk College. Ask me how I know.

That’s why we need affirmative action in the work place from cradle to the grave. It’s the price of reparation that must be paid. For life.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

That’s what the study done on Harvard’s African American graduates show. Harvard URMs don’t do well even with a Harvard degree.

No, that's your interpretation. Another one is that institutional racism is so pervasive, that even a Harvard degree doesn't complete mitigate it. Black and Latino kids with a Harvard degree in hand on average have better outcomes and more doors opened than their POC counterparts who attended Podunk College. Ask me how I know.

That’s why we need affirmative action in the work place from cradle to the grave. It’s the price of reparation that must be paid. For life.

It’s been proven that Harvard takes in URMs who otherwise would not have gotten in without affirmative action. Studies also show Harvard URMs don’t do well where employers employ a holistic evaluation of their job candidates.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

That’s what the study done on Harvard’s African American graduates show. Harvard URMs don’t do well even with a Harvard degree.

No, that's your interpretation. Another one is that institutional racism is so pervasive, that even a Harvard degree doesn't complete mitigate it. Black and Latino kids with a Harvard degree in hand on average have better outcomes and more doors opened than their POC counterparts who attended Podunk College. Ask me how I know.

Pretty soon you’ll be asking the federal government to regulate the marriage market because there are so many unmarried URM women (even with a Harvard degree).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, this thread is a good example of what's wrong with the approaches taken by many Asian families and why top colleges don't want full of Asian kids. There are ~4000 colleges in US. The "success" threshold for Asian families are (not all but most) are top 10-20 schools... The "Ivy/M/S or Bust" approach is not healthy. If I were an admission officer, I would do my best to mix kids from all SES/racial backgrounds. And I say this as an Asian parent. You see this happening at HS level too as you see here re. TJ posts

So you would pick based on race. I do not agree. Race shouldn't be a factor in academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are thousands of colleges. Your quote "-achieving perfect Asian kid" will be just fine not going to a top 25 School. Chill Asian parents. Just chill.

(White) People told the Black lady to chill, and just go back of the bus. You'll be just fine at the back of the bus.
The Black lady refused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

So, if other qualities become more important then what's the point of studying hard in college? Why not use affirmative action? Now, we've come full circle.

[Anonymous]

Dear, there is more to college than “studying hard.” Those students who study at the expense of having other experiences & building other skills may not be as successful. C’mon this is common sense stuff!

[Anonymous]

quit living your life through your child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

So, if other qualities become more important then what's the point of studying hard in college? Why not use affirmative action? Now, we've come full circle.

Progressives: If I can ban people carrying machetes, why can't I Ann black people?

[Anonymous]

I learned that as an Asian-American parent we have the opposite of "White entitlement". We feel that people will shit all over us, regardless of how very meritorious we are. We expect the very worst and we expect to be swindled out of our rightful and well-earned place. When things actually go our way and the system works the way it is, we are shocked and incredulous. Then we run to the temple/church/mosque to THANK GOD that the last honest person in the world was assigned to us!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL

That is funny. I also, from the DMV, had never heard of that school. Amusing that they think it is SO impressive in their little NoVA bubble

Actually, it is. I first heard of TJ when I went to college and met all these smart kids from the same high school. TJ kids, and NOVA kids in general were far better prepared than I ever was. That educational advantage was a major factor in my decision to raise my kids here. I doubt my kids will go to high school there, but we live in a strong pyramid, so I’m not worried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

So, if other qualities become more important then what's the point of studying hard in college? Why not use affirmative action? Now, we've come full circle.

Progressives: If I can ban people carrying machetes, why can't I Ann black people?

Conservatives: we make completely nonsensical points

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

So, if other qualities become more important then what's the point of studying hard in college? Why not use affirmative action? Now, we've come full circle.

Progressives: If I can ban people carrying machetes, why can't I Ann black people?

Conservatives: we make completely nonsensical points

I actually used to be a conservative.. but that was funny, because yea... that made no sense whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

So, if other qualities become more important then what's the point of studying hard in college? Why not use affirmative action? Now, we've come full circle.

Progressives: If I can ban people carrying machetes, why can't I Ann black people?

Conservatives: we make completely nonsensical points

I actually used to be a conservative.. but that was funny, because yea... that made no sense whatsoever.

Translation: Being allowed to discriminate based on other traits/merits doesn't justify racial discrimination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

So, if other qualities become more important then what's the point of studying hard in college? Why not use affirmative action? Now, we've come full circle.

Progressives: If I can ban people carrying machetes, why can't I Ann black people?

Conservatives: we make completely nonsensical points

I actually used to be a conservative.. but that was funny, because yea... that made no sense whatsoever.

Translation: Being allowed to discriminate based on other traits/merits doesn't justify racial discrimination.

asians haven't figured out how to be a victim class either in the democratic or republican parties. This is what this is all about