Parents of Asian-American Kids: What did you learn from the college admissions process?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

so you don't mind that your kid used wealthy connections to get a job, but you don't want universities to use affirmative action to give lower income (mostly URM, there's that word again) to get a higher paying job by having them attend their well connected university?

PP here. I live in CA which has no affirmative action and uses a merit based application process, and I think it should be a model for every state. Low income students get financial resources to help them attend at very low or no cost.

Now, on to employment and hiring practices: the idea of networking to get a job is basic job-finding skills 101. Sorry if that doesn’t sit well with people, but that’s why there is more to finding a job than academic merit. That seems to crush our bright hardworking students, but it’s an important lesson. Academic success gets you in the door, but it’s not something that will guarantee you success or happiness!

I think you missed the point of this argument.

A PP indicated that her kid went to a no-name university, didn't get great grades, but with connections got a high level job. The point about using connections wasn't about how one shouldn't but that the idea that you don't have to work hard in college, just party hard and make connections, was kind of gross. In this case, there was no academic success, not a bit.

Also, making a sh1t ton of money doesn't guarantee you happiness, either, but that's not the point. If you are telling Asian Americans not to work hard and reach for elite universities because it doesn't guarantee you happiness or success, then you should be telling the same story to everyone including URM and wealthy white people who use their connections and/or wealth to get their kids into these same institutions.

BTW, I also am from CA.

Ok, yes, I did miss this, but so what! I think you are missing the notion that academic success is not necessarily a harbinger of professional success. I am NOT telling Asian students not to work hard. I’m only saying the academic world and professional world are different. Academic achievement opens doors in an academic world. In a professional world, it is not the most important quality. Other qualities become more important.

So, if other qualities become more important then what's the point of studying hard in college? Why not use affirmative action? Now, we've come full circle.

Progressives: If I can ban people carrying machetes, why can't I Ann black people?

Conservatives: we make completely nonsensical points

I actually used to be a conservative.. but that was funny, because yea... that made no sense whatsoever.

Translation: Being allowed to discriminate based on other traits/merits doesn't justify racial discrimination.

asians haven't figured out how to be a victim class either in the democratic or republican parties. This is what this is all about

we should take some lessons from white people, whom seem to be convinced they are the victims here

[Anonymous]

I learned that as an Asian-American parent we have the opposite of "White entitlement". We feel that people will shit all over us, regardless of how very meritorious we are. We expect the very worst and we expect to be swindled out of our rightful and well-earned place. When things actually go our way and the system works the way it is, we are shocked and incredulous. Then we run to the temple/church/mosque to THANK GOD that the last honest person in the world was assigned to us!!!!!!!!!


As a white parent, there is a lot of truth to this. Reading through these posts, people talk past each other. They speak from their experiences only, and don't put themselves in other people's shoes.

Asian students are often very good and, yet, their effort and hard work is dismissed because "they're asian!" It's not fair and it's not right.

On the flip side, some Asian families think academics is *all* that should matter, and that just isn't the case. I personally think it should the most important criteria for college applications. Once an adult enters the job field, all of that goes by the wayside and other skills and personality matter more. Job hires have never been governed by grades, and that's really important to know. peace to all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Asian students are often very good and, yet, their effort and hard work is dismissed because "they're asian!" It's not fair and it's not right.

White student are often very good and, yet, their effort and hard work is dismissed because "white privilege!" It's not fair and it's not right.


AA students are often very good and, yet, their effort and hard work is dismissed because "affirmative action!" It's not fair and it's not right.


This is what happens when people and universities focus on group politics and grant preferential treatment for or against someone based on race. There is only one solution: Quit kissing the asses of the politician and colleges peddling this crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Asian students are often very good and, yet, their effort and hard work is dismissed because "they're asian!" It's not fair and it's not right.

White student are often very good and, yet, their effort and hard work is dismissed because "white privilege!" It's not fair and it's not right.


AA students are often very good and, yet, their effort and hard work is dismissed because "affirmative action!" It's not fair and it's not right.


This is what happens when people and universities focus on group politics and grant preferential treatment for or against someone based on race. There is only one solution: Quit kissing the asses of the politician and colleges peddling this crap.

White students: not true.
AA students: true
you’re talking in circles and yapping about affirmative action. Your point, whatever it is, gets lost.

[Anonymous]

Have your kid apply to be a philosophy, Spanish, English or other non-steretypical major in STEM that they'd excel at. That helps tip the favor in their odds at least a little bit because they won't be discriminated against when adcoms are playing games with diversity numbers in STEM. If the end goal is med school anyway it won't matter. If not, switch majors once accepted into the university. The system is rigged against Asians. It is simply a fact of life you are essentially starting with negative points and have to work 4x as hard now as other groups solely because of your race. Or try to unorthodox strategies to not be a cookie cutter Asian who is good at school and doesn't get into trouble. That's what I learned from my own personal experience as an Asian American.

[Anonymous]

Realistically, how many institutions admit by major? If this strategy actually worked, wouldn't everyone be applying as a French major?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, how many institutions admit by major? If this strategy actually worked, wouldn't everyone be applying as a French major?

1. All of them, at core (and Universities with separate colleges admissions policies universally)
2. Yet they all understand that a vast number change majors, and have data to back that up
3. And they know who is faking it and who isn't, for the most part, so as a strategy it fails

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, how many institutions admit by major? If this strategy actually worked, wouldn't everyone be applying as a French major?

1. All of them, at core (and Universities with separate colleges admissions policies universally)
2. Yet they all understand that a vast number change majors, and have data to back that up
3. And they know who is faking it and who isn't, for the most part, so as a strategy it fails

It only fails if you don't plan ahead....e.g. having your Asian student study 3-4 years of Spanish in high school and their summer volunteer experience abroad teaching in South America. Gotta start thinking outside of the box as an Asian person much earlier than when the applications are due. Yeah sure, if you're on the chess team, math club, science Olympiad winner, and on the robotics team yet try to sign up for an acient philosophy degree on your college application it'll raise some flags. Again, if something like med school is the ultimate goal, start prepping freshman year in high school for a non-trad study path to get below the radar of diversity committees that have much more say in things like trying to balance stem incoming classes based on race and identity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, how many institutions admit by major? If this strategy actually worked, wouldn't everyone be applying as a French major?

1. All of them, at core (and Universities with separate colleges admissions policies universally)
2. Yet they all understand that a vast number change majors, and have data to back that up
3. And they know who is faking it and who isn't, for the most part, so as a strategy it fails

It only fails if you don't plan ahead....e.g. having your Asian student study 3-4 years of Spanish in high school and their summer volunteer experience abroad teaching in South America. Gotta start thinking outside of the box as an Asian person much earlier than when the applications are due. Yeah sure, if you're on the chess team, math club, science Olympiad winner, and on the robotics team yet try to sign up for an acient philosophy degree on your college application it'll raise some flags. Again, if something like med school is the ultimate goal, start prepping freshman year in high school for a non-trad study path to get below the radar of diversity committees that have much more say in things like trying to balance stem incoming classes based on race and identity

Or may let the student pursue what interests them and stop trying to force them down some artificially constructed path that you’ve calculated is the best chance of getting your child into the highest ranked college possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, how many institutions admit by major? If this strategy actually worked, wouldn't everyone be applying as a French major?

1. All of them, at core (and Universities with separate colleges admissions policies universally)
2. Yet they all understand that a vast number change majors, and have data to back that up
3. And they know who is faking it and who isn't, for the most part, so as a strategy it fails

It only fails if you don't plan ahead....e.g. having your Asian student study 3-4 years of Spanish in high school and their summer volunteer experience abroad teaching in South America. Gotta start thinking outside of the box as an Asian person much earlier than when the applications are due. Yeah sure, if you're on the chess team, math club, science Olympiad winner, and on the robotics team yet try to sign up for an acient philosophy degree on your college application it'll raise some flags. Again, if something like med school is the ultimate goal, start prepping freshman year in high school for a non-trad study path to get below the radar of diversity committees that have much more say in things like trying to balance stem incoming classes based on race and identity

Please tell me tiger moms aren’t doing this yet. Faking their children’s interests in non-STEM subjects only to force them to major in STEM once they get there. Because that will seriously not help other Asian Americans with admissions in the long run. Colleges are not interested in becoming 90% engineering, pre-med, and math majors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, how many institutions admit by major? If this strategy actually worked, wouldn't everyone be applying as a French major?

1. All of them, at core (and Universities with separate colleges admissions policies universally)
2. Yet they all understand that a vast number change majors, and have data to back that up
3. And they know who is faking it and who isn't, for the most part, so as a strategy it fails

It only fails if you don't plan ahead....e.g. having your Asian student study 3-4 years of Spanish in high school and their summer volunteer experience abroad teaching in South America. Gotta start thinking outside of the box as an Asian person much earlier than when the applications are due. Yeah sure, if you're on the chess team, math club, science Olympiad winner, and on the robotics team yet try to sign up for an acient philosophy degree on your college application it'll raise some flags. Again, if something like med school is the ultimate goal, start prepping freshman year in high school for a non-trad study path to get below the radar of diversity committees that have much more say in things like trying to balance stem incoming classes based on race and identity

Or may let the student pursue what interests them and stop trying to force them down some artificially constructed path that you’ve calculated is the best chance of getting your child into the highest ranked college possible.

That's a sure fire way to rack up lots of student loan debt. Typical stupid American mindset. Find your way silly nilly as a free spirit with zero regards for utility or cost. No wonder this country has such a student loan debt problem that we are now at the point that presidential candiates have to promise free college tuition and student loan debt forgiveness. Nothing says common sense more than letting your kid study underwater basketweaving for $100k a year and no plans for a career trajectory to pay it back /s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, how many institutions admit by major? If this strategy actually worked, wouldn't everyone be applying as a French major?

1. All of them, at core (and Universities with separate colleges admissions policies universally)
2. Yet they all understand that a vast number change majors, and have data to back that up
3. And they know who is faking it and who isn't, for the most part, so as a strategy it fails

It only fails if you don't plan ahead....e.g. having your Asian student study 3-4 years of Spanish in high school and their summer volunteer experience abroad teaching in South America. Gotta start thinking outside of the box as an Asian person much earlier than when the applications are due. Yeah sure, if you're on the chess team, math club, science Olympiad winner, and on the robotics team yet try to sign up for an acient philosophy degree on your college application it'll raise some flags. Again, if something like med school is the ultimate goal, start prepping freshman year in high school for a non-trad study path to get below the radar of diversity committees that have much more say in things like trying to balance stem incoming classes based on race and identity

Please tell me tiger moms aren’t doing this yet. Faking their children’s interests in non-STEM subjects only to force them to major in STEM once they get there. Because that will seriously not help other Asian Americans with admissions in the long run. Colleges are not interested in becoming 90% engineering, pre-med, and math majors.

Hate the game, not the players. Asians aren't the ones who setup insane diversity admissions requirements they can't control. We can't alter our DNA to change our race. We get penalized for doing too well at school and get penalized for being too stereotypical if we have extracurriculars like learning an instrument instead of turning our brains into mash potatoes bashing our minds out in a football field.

You don't have companies like Google openly targeting you for limiting employment opportunities because you are Asian and male. Why exactly would I get more leniency with my SAT scores, GPA and with diversity adcoms if I were a Latino male rather than an Asian male? Asians never owned slaves. Many Asians come from poorer countries too.

Don't hate the fact that the players are learning to adapt to the game. Society made the game, we are just trying to win at it now with the rules in place that penalize us for our race and sex.

[Anonymous]

If the US adcoms get stepped on, they have no one but themselves to blame for reducing themselves to the shithole insects they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Asians never owned slaves.

Every racial group had enthusiastic practitioners of slavery, which is still a significant issue in Asia.

The first famous Asian inhabitants of the United States were Chang and Eng Bunker, who were slave-holding plantation owners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Asians never owned slaves.

Every racial group had enthusiastic practitioners of slavery, which is still a significant issue in Asia.

The first famous Asian inhabitants of the United States were Chang and Eng Bunker, who were slave-holding plantation owners.

How many Asians owned salves?

How many Asians were in American before these guys?

How many of them were lynched out west?

How many were subject segregation?