Parents of Asian-American Kids: What did you learn from the college admissions process?

[Anonymous]

If you have a bright, but average, sporty Asian American boy with good grades but no interest in loading up on more than 2 AP classes a year and does not fit the brainy, overachiever, Asian stereotype-- he's screwed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s also important to remember that professors and peers also know that asian american students may be top performers and as such often expect them to be smart and hardworking.... the challenge can also be beneficial.

+ 1
Our children benefited by the support given by good teachers at school. My kids were given extra assignments because they were ahead of the curve. That was a morale booster. While these extrwa assignments did not result in extra credit, it allowed my kids to know their subject matter a bit better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is grossly exaggerated. Diversity is valued at most schools. My child's Asian American status was an ADVANTAGE at small liberal arts schools.

Now if you are dead set on attending a top ten Ivy, that may be another story. But if you are putting your kids under undue pressure for the sake of status, you should examine that about yourself.

Read the post by the White TJ parent above. An advantage at a small liberal arts school does not mean that there is not a disadvantage at other schools.

Yes, but it means the disadvantage is at a very small number of schools, and is outweighed by the number where it is an advantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s real - you’re not competing against everyone, you’re competing against smarter Asian Americans

That’s the problem

Being good in math or science and playing a string instrument get you nowhere

Stereotypes very prevalent

Maybe change it up by playing the banjo or a 12-string Rickenbacker?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid will need to be a superstar in academics, ECs, community work, college recs and essays, public speaking and communication, and interview skills. They also cannot make any mistake in their K-12 career, not break any laws or come in the public eye for anything wrong. They are not given second chances. They must never "like" anything on social media that is mocking any group. Have a scrubbed out social media presence.

Don't have an overly Asian name. Have an American sounding name or nickname. Be an Asian in how you treat your teachers. Follow the rule of respecting your teachers and they will be your unexpected cheerleaders. Fly under the radar at school. Be a stealth overachiever. When other parents ask how are things, just look worried. Do not share the stats of your child because that will make others envious and angry.

Support your kids at home and make sure that they are getting the breaks that they need. Dating may result in your kid not being able to give their best to academics. Make sure that they are involved in attending school events like Prom, Senior Celebrations and Homecoming.

Kind of like a prose version of Kipling’s “If” for Fairfax County Public Schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Know that the "cap" on Asians is an artificial and random cap. We are being discriminated against now, but we will be in a position of power to champion for merit instead of race, later in life.


Our frugality will allow our children to reap the reward of higher education. Nothing can beat the feeling to be able to afford college and the college application process for our kids, because we lived on rice and beans and saved for college.

Holistic admission review favoring URMs will be the law for all time coming. Excessive credentialism may be problematic.

[Anonymous]

My D had realistic expected chances at SLACs based on her stats. She chose one offering nearly a full ride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is grossly exaggerated. Diversity is valued at most schools. My child's Asian American status was an ADVANTAGE at small liberal arts schools.

Now if you are dead set on attending a top ten Ivy, that may be another story. But if you are putting your kids under undue pressure for the sake of status, you should examine that about yourself.

Read the post by the White TJ parent above. An advantage at a small liberal arts school does not mean that there is not a disadvantage at other schools.

Yes, but it means the disadvantage is at a very small number of schools, and is outweighed by the number where it is an advantage.

What a load of BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is grossly exaggerated. Diversity is valued at most schools. My child's Asian American status was an ADVANTAGE at small liberal arts schools.

Now if you are dead set on attending a top ten Ivy, that may be another story. But if you are putting your kids under undue pressure for the sake of status, you should examine that about yourself.

Read the post by the White TJ parent above. An advantage at a small liberal arts school does not mean that there is not a disadvantage at other schools.

Yes, but it means the disadvantage is at a very small number of schools, and is outweighed by the number where it is an advantage.

What a load of BS.

Well, if this is about affirmative action, the federal district court judge’s decision the Harvard case was eminently reasonable. Maybe the Supreme Court will tighten up strict scrutiny review, but who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the white parent of a TJ kid, and I will tell you what I have seen in action. There are excellent, very well respected schools where your kid will get a great education— even in STEM— and that will place them at the top of the grad school admissions heap. And Asian kids are not applying. Those that do are getting a boost over white girls (girls are also over represented).

For example, Grinnell and Oberlin are both top SLACs. They are also both in the top 5 in science PhD production by graduates. Their science grads consistently get into the top handful of grad programs in their field. They both having phenomenal med school placement. A science kid will go and do hands on published research with a professor for 4 years if they want it and get great internships. Because they aren’t competing with grad students. And a high achieving Asian kid is likely to be considered URM and get half tuition merit aid.

These schools also exist in engineering (but the selection is weaker). Mudd, of course. Rose Hulman. Cooper Union. You have a girl who is interested in international relations? HRC and Madeline Albright went to Wellesley. Have your kid who writes apply to Kenyon.

OTOH, the landscape for UVA, Michigan, Purdue is pretty brutal. For whites too. But it does look like Asian boys take the hardest hit.

From the outside looking in, it seems like Asian parents are overlooking small schools that lack national name recognition, but are very well respected in their fields. Asian kids are being heavily recruited by these schools right now. Look on the the Liberal Arts College side of USNWR instead of national university. Liberal arts doesn’t mean underwater basket weaving, or even humanities. It means no grad school. Which can be a huge benefit to kids who aren’t crowded out by grad students and sitting in huge classes taught by TAs. They get small classes and a lot of access to the full professors.

Anyway. I know you wanted the Asian insight. And I respect that. But from the outside looking in, I’m shocked as to where Asian kids aren’t applying.

Thanks for posting this. Really good perspective. I am open to listening to what we are overlooking. Socially, i would want my kids to go where there are at least some representation of Asian American students. Greek life is not what we are looking for at all.

My kid is actively looking for SLACs with no Greek Life. The midwestern ones (Grinnell, Oberlin, Kenyon, Macalester, St. Olaf) have little or no Greek life. Some of the more Eastern ones Greek is bigger.

From the outside looking in, but talking to a lot of Asian parents about college. it seems like the Asian system of higher education is more tracked. Top scores to top university with a tight ranking system to a top company. So they think top college (Harvard) to top grad school to to job. But the US system is multitracked. You can get to the top grad school and top job several ways. But Asian parents often miss some of the tracks. An Ivy or top 20 will get you there. But you will still be competing heavily for lots because top med schools also want representation. You also can go top SLAC to top medical school. And top SLACs are way over represented because they teach kids to think and write and discuss. And top a OOS U (besides a UC or UVA or UMD) and get there. uT Austin flys under the radar. You will have to hustle for research opportunities, but it is very doable.

I would think the good news for Asians is that there are top schools that will get their kids where they want to go that desperately want talented Asian kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the white parent of a TJ kid, and I will tell you what I have seen in action. There are excellent, very well respected schools where your kid will get a great education— even in STEM— and that will place them at the top of the grad school admissions heap. And Asian kids are not applying. Those that do are getting a boost over white girls (girls are also over represented).

For example, Grinnell and Oberlin are both top SLACs. They are also both in the top 5 in science PhD production by graduates. Their science grads consistently get into the top handful of grad programs in their field. They both having phenomenal med school placement. A science kid will go and do hands on published research with a professor for 4 years if they want it and get great internships. Because they aren’t competing with grad students. And a high achieving Asian kid is likely to be considered URM and get half tuition merit aid.

These schools also exist in engineering (but the selection is weaker). Mudd, of course. Rose Hulman. Cooper Union. You have a girl who is interested in international relations? HRC and Madeline Albright went to Wellesley. Have your kid who writes apply to Kenyon.

OTOH, the landscape for UVA, Michigan, Purdue is pretty brutal. For whites too. But it does look like Asian boys take the hardest hit.

From the outside looking in, it seems like Asian parents are overlooking small schools that lack national name recognition, but are very well respected in their fields. Asian kids are being heavily recruited by these schools right now. Look on the the Liberal Arts College side of USNWR instead of national university. Liberal arts doesn’t mean underwater basket weaving, or even humanities. It means no grad school. Which can be a huge benefit to kids who aren’t crowded out by grad students and sitting in huge classes taught by TAs. They get small classes and a lot of access to the full professors.

Anyway. I know you wanted the Asian insight. And I respect that. But from the outside looking in, I’m shocked as to where Asian kids aren’t applying.

Thanks for posting this. Really good perspective. I am open to listening to what we are overlooking. Socially, i would want my kids to go where there are at least some representation of Asian American students. Greek life is not what we are looking for at all.

My kid is actively looking for SLACs with no Greek Life. The midwestern ones (Grinnell, Oberlin, Kenyon, Macalester, St. Olaf) have little or no Greek life. Some of the more Eastern ones Greek is bigger.

From the outside looking in, but talking to a lot of Asian parents about college. it seems like the Asian system of higher education is more tracked. Top scores to top university with a tight ranking system to a top company. So they think top college (Harvard) to top grad school to to job. But the US system is multitracked. You can get to the top grad school and top job several ways. But Asian parents often miss some of the tracks. An Ivy or top 20 will get you there. But you will still be competing heavily for lots because top med schools also want representation. You also can go top SLAC to top medical school. And top SLACs are way over represented because they teach kids to think and write and discuss. And top a OOS U (besides a UC or UVA or UMD) and get there. uT Austin flys under the radar. You will have to hustle for research opportunities, but it is very doable.

I would think the good news for Asians is that there are top schools that will get their kids where they want to go that desperately want talented Asian kids.

DP. Those are some good points. But I think we’re already seeing this with UVA. I’m not aware of a single Asian parent in nova who would be disappointed if their kid went there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the white parent of a TJ kid, and I will tell you what I have seen in action. There are excellent, very well respected schools where your kid will get a great education— even in STEM— and that will place them at the top of the grad school admissions heap. And Asian kids are not applying. Those that do are getting a boost over white girls (girls are also over represented).

For example, Grinnell and Oberlin are both top SLACs. They are also both in the top 5 in science PhD production by graduates. Their science grads consistently get into the top handful of grad programs in their field. They both having phenomenal med school placement. A science kid will go and do hands on published research with a professor for 4 years if they want it and get great internships. Because they aren’t competing with grad students. And a high achieving Asian kid is likely to be considered URM and get half tuition merit aid.

These schools also exist in engineering (but the selection is weaker). Mudd, of course. Rose Hulman. Cooper Union. You have a girl who is interested in international relations? HRC and Madeline Albright went to Wellesley. Have your kid who writes apply to Kenyon.

OTOH, the landscape for UVA, Michigan, Purdue is pretty brutal. For whites too. But it does look like Asian boys take the hardest hit.

From the outside looking in, it seems like Asian parents are overlooking small schools that lack national name recognition, but are very well respected in their fields. Asian kids are being heavily recruited by these schools right now. Look on the the Liberal Arts College side of USNWR instead of national university. Liberal arts doesn’t mean underwater basket weaving, or even humanities. It means no grad school. Which can be a huge benefit to kids who aren’t crowded out by grad students and sitting in huge classes taught by TAs. They get small classes and a lot of access to the full professors.

Anyway. I know you wanted the Asian insight. And I respect that. But from the outside looking in, I’m shocked as to where Asian kids aren’t applying.

Thanks for posting this. Really good perspective. I am open to listening to what we are overlooking. Socially, i would want my kids to go where there are at least some representation of Asian American students. Greek life is not what we are looking for at all.

My kid is actively looking for SLACs with no Greek Life. The midwestern ones (Grinnell, Oberlin, Kenyon, Macalester, St. Olaf) have little or no Greek life. Some of the more Eastern ones Greek is bigger.

From the outside looking in, but talking to a lot of Asian parents about college. it seems like the Asian system of higher education is more tracked. Top scores to top university with a tight ranking system to a top company. So they think top college (Harvard) to top grad school to to job. But the US system is multitracked. You can get to the top grad school and top job several ways. But Asian parents often miss some of the tracks. An Ivy or top 20 will get you there. But you will still be competing heavily for lots because top med schools also want representation. You also can go top SLAC to top medical school. And top SLACs are way over represented because they teach kids to think and write and discuss. And top a OOS U (besides a UC or UVA or UMD) and get there. uT Austin flys under the radar. You will have to hustle for research opportunities, but it is very doable.

I would think the good news for Asians is that there are top schools that will get their kids where they want to go that desperately want talented Asian kids.

DP. Those are some good points. But I think we’re already seeing this with UVA. I’m not aware of a single Asian parent in nova who would be disappointed if their kid went there.

You haven't spoken with TJ crazies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the white parent of a TJ kid, and I will tell you what I have seen in action. There are excellent, very well respected schools where your kid will get a great education— even in STEM— and that will place them at the top of the grad school admissions heap. And Asian kids are not applying. Those that do are getting a boost over white girls (girls are also over represented).

For example, Grinnell and Oberlin are both top SLACs. They are also both in the top 5 in science PhD production by graduates. Their science grads consistently get into the top handful of grad programs in their field. They both having phenomenal med school placement. A science kid will go and do hands on published research with a professor for 4 years if they want it and get great internships. Because they aren’t competing with grad students. And a high achieving Asian kid is likely to be considered URM and get half tuition merit aid.

These schools also exist in engineering (but the selection is weaker). Mudd, of course. Rose Hulman. Cooper Union. You have a girl who is interested in international relations? HRC and Madeline Albright went to Wellesley. Have your kid who writes apply to Kenyon.

OTOH, the landscape for UVA, Michigan, Purdue is pretty brutal. For whites too. But it does look like Asian boys take the hardest hit.

From the outside looking in, it seems like Asian parents are overlooking small schools that lack national name recognition, but are very well respected in their fields. Asian kids are being heavily recruited by these schools right now. Look on the the Liberal Arts College side of USNWR instead of national university. Liberal arts doesn’t mean underwater basket weaving, or even humanities. It means no grad school. Which can be a huge benefit to kids who aren’t crowded out by grad students and sitting in huge classes taught by TAs. They get small classes and a lot of access to the full professors.

Anyway. I know you wanted the Asian insight. And I respect that. But from the outside looking in, I’m shocked as to where Asian kids aren’t applying.

Thanks for posting this. Really good perspective. I am open to listening to what we are overlooking. Socially, i would want my kids to go where there are at least some representation of Asian American students. Greek life is not what we are looking for at all.

My kid is actively looking for SLACs with no Greek Life. The midwestern ones (Grinnell, Oberlin, Kenyon, Macalester, St. Olaf) have little or no Greek life. Some of the more Eastern ones Greek is bigger.

From the outside looking in, but talking to a lot of Asian parents about college. it seems like the Asian system of higher education is more tracked. Top scores to top university with a tight ranking system to a top company. So they think top college (Harvard) to top grad school to to job. But the US system is multitracked. You can get to the top grad school and top job several ways. But Asian parents often miss some of the tracks. An Ivy or top 20 will get you there. But you will still be competing heavily for lots because top med schools also want representation. You also can go top SLAC to top medical school. And top SLACs are way over represented because they teach kids to think and write and discuss. And top a OOS U (besides a UC or UVA or UMD) and get there. uT Austin flys under the radar. You will have to hustle for research opportunities, but it is very doable.

I would think the good news for Asians is that there are top schools that will get their kids where they want to go that desperately want talented Asian kids.

DP. Those are some good points. But I think we’re already seeing this with UVA. I’m not aware of a single Asian parent in nova who would be disappointed if their kid went there.

You haven't spoken with TJ crazies.

Point noted. But I can’t really say that I want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the white parent of a TJ kid, and I will tell you what I have seen in action. There are excellent, very well respected schools where your kid will get a great education— even in STEM— and that will place them at the top of the grad school admissions heap. And Asian kids are not applying. Those that do are getting a boost over white girls (girls are also over represented).

For example, Grinnell and Oberlin are both top SLACs. They are also both in the top 5 in science PhD production by graduates. Their science grads consistently get into the top handful of grad programs in their field. They both having phenomenal med school placement. A science kid will go and do hands on published research with a professor for 4 years if they want it and get great internships. Because they aren’t competing with grad students. And a high achieving Asian kid is likely to be considered URM and get half tuition merit aid.

These schools also exist in engineering (but the selection is weaker). Mudd, of course. Rose Hulman. Cooper Union. You have a girl who is interested in international relations? HRC and Madeline Albright went to Wellesley. Have your kid who writes apply to Kenyon.

OTOH, the landscape for UVA, Michigan, Purdue is pretty brutal. For whites too. But it does look like Asian boys take the hardest hit.

From the outside looking in, it seems like Asian parents are overlooking small schools that lack national name recognition, but are very well respected in their fields. Asian kids are being heavily recruited by these schools right now. Look on the the Liberal Arts College side of USNWR instead of national university. Liberal arts doesn’t mean underwater basket weaving, or even humanities. It means no grad school. Which can be a huge benefit to kids who aren’t crowded out by grad students and sitting in huge classes taught by TAs. They get small classes and a lot of access to the full professors.

Anyway. I know you wanted the Asian insight. And I respect that. But from the outside looking in, I’m shocked as to where Asian kids aren’t applying.

Thanks for posting this. Really good perspective. I am open to listening to what we are overlooking. Socially, i would want my kids to go where there are at least some representation of Asian American students. Greek life is not what we are looking for at all.

My kid is actively looking for SLACs with no Greek Life. The midwestern ones (Grinnell, Oberlin, Kenyon, Macalester, St. Olaf) have little or no Greek life. Some of the more Eastern ones Greek is bigger.

From the outside looking in, but talking to a lot of Asian parents about college. it seems like the Asian system of higher education is more tracked. Top scores to top university with a tight ranking system to a top company. So they think top college (Harvard) to top grad school to to job. But the US system is multitracked. You can get to the top grad school and top job several ways. But Asian parents often miss some of the tracks. An Ivy or top 20 will get you there. But you will still be competing heavily for lots because top med schools also want representation. You also can go top SLAC to top medical school. And top SLACs are way over represented because they teach kids to think and write and discuss. And top a OOS U (besides a UC or UVA or UMD) and get there. uT Austin flys under the radar. You will have to hustle for research opportunities, but it is very doable.

I would think the good news for Asians is that there are top schools that will get their kids where they want to go that desperately want talented Asian kids.

DP. Those are some good points. But I think we’re already seeing this with UVA. I’m not aware of a single Asian parent in nova who would be disappointed if their kid went there.

You haven't spoken with TJ crazies.

Point noted. But I can’t really say that I want to.

Smart on your part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the white parent of a TJ kid, and I will tell you what I have seen in action. There are excellent, very well respected schools where your kid will get a great education— even in STEM— and that will place them at the top of the grad school admissions heap. And Asian kids are not applying. Those that do are getting a boost over white girls (girls are also over represented).

For example, Grinnell and Oberlin are both top SLACs. They are also both in the top 5 in science PhD production by graduates. Their science grads consistently get into the top handful of grad programs in their field. They both having phenomenal med school placement. A science kid will go and do hands on published research with a professor for 4 years if they want it and get great internships. Because they aren’t competing with grad students. And a high achieving Asian kid is likely to be considered URM and get half tuition merit aid.

These schools also exist in engineering (but the selection is weaker). Mudd, of course. Rose Hulman. Cooper Union. You have a girl who is interested in international relations? HRC and Madeline Albright went to Wellesley. Have your kid who writes apply to Kenyon.

OTOH, the landscape for UVA, Michigan, Purdue is pretty brutal. For whites too. But it does look like Asian boys take the hardest hit.

From the outside looking in, it seems like Asian parents are overlooking small schools that lack national name recognition, but are very well respected in their fields. Asian kids are being heavily recruited by these schools right now. Look on the the Liberal Arts College side of USNWR instead of national university. Liberal arts doesn’t mean underwater basket weaving, or even humanities. It means no grad school. Which can be a huge benefit to kids who aren’t crowded out by grad students and sitting in huge classes taught by TAs. They get small classes and a lot of access to the full professors.

Anyway. I know you wanted the Asian insight. And I respect that. But from the outside looking in, I’m shocked as to where Asian kids aren’t applying.

Thanks for posting this. Really good perspective. I am open to listening to what we are overlooking. Socially, i would want my kids to go where there are at least some representation of Asian American students. Greek life is not what we are looking for at all.

My kid is actively looking for SLACs with no Greek Life. The midwestern ones (Grinnell, Oberlin, Kenyon, Macalester, St. Olaf) have little or no Greek life. Some of the more Eastern ones Greek is bigger.

From the outside looking in, but talking to a lot of Asian parents about college. it seems like the Asian system of higher education is more tracked. Top scores to top university with a tight ranking system to a top company. So they think top college (Harvard) to top grad school to to job. But the US system is multitracked. You can get to the top grad school and top job several ways. But Asian parents often miss some of the tracks. An Ivy or top 20 will get you there. But you will still be competing heavily for lots because top med schools also want representation. You also can go top SLAC to top medical school. And top SLACs are way over represented because they teach kids to think and write and discuss. And top a OOS U (besides a UC or UVA or UMD) and get there. uT Austin flys under the radar. You will have to hustle for research opportunities, but it is very doable.

I would think the good news for Asians is that there are top schools that will get their kids where they want to go that desperately want talented Asian kids.

DP. Those are some good points. But I think we’re already seeing this with UVA. I’m not aware of a single Asian parent in nova who would be disappointed if their kid went there.

UVA is getting significantly harder for TJ kids. This year less than half of the TJ applicants were accepted. Not that long ago, 2/3 were accepted.