Parents of Asian-American Kids: What did you learn from the college admissions process?

[Anonymous]

For parents of Asian-American kids who recently went through the college admissions process, what would you have done differently now that you've been through the process? What did you learn?

I'm wondering if the "handicap" for Asian American applicants is over-exaggerated or is it real?

[Anonymous]

It’s real - you’re not competing against everyone, you’re competing against smarter Asian Americans

That’s the problem

Being good in math or science and playing a string instrument get you nowhere

Stereotypes very prevalent

[Anonymous]

It is real. Don’t compare your kids high stats with general admission stats. It means nothing. Don’t think about what’s fair/unfair because that means nothing. Don’t think college admission game is the end game because it’s not. It actually gets better when kids apply to PhD/professional schools after college. Make sure to include enough target/safeties.

Don’t go crazy.

[Anonymous]

Your kid will need to be a superstar in academics, ECs, community work, college recs and essays, public speaking and communication, and interview skills. They also cannot make any mistake in their K-12 career, not break any laws or come in the public eye for anything wrong. They are not given second chances. They must never "like" anything on social media that is mocking any group. Have a scrubbed out social media presence.

Don't have an overly Asian name. Have an American sounding name or nickname. Be an Asian in how you treat your teachers. Follow the rule of respecting your teachers and they will be your unexpected cheerleaders. Fly under the radar at school. Be a stealth overachiever. When other parents ask how are things, just look worried. Do not share the stats of your child because that will make others envious and angry.

Support your kids at home and make sure that they are getting the breaks that they need. Dating may result in your kid not being able to give their best to academics. Make sure that they are involved in attending school events like Prom, Senior Celebrations and Homecoming.

[Anonymous]

All applications need to go in for EA. Plan for all the 4 years. Don't waste your freshman and sophomore years. Get all your kudos in by the Junior year so that you have a solid application by the end of Junior year.

Head down. Work hard. All great stats are mandatory. Your hook has to be something that is unique from everyone.

[Anonymous]

I am the white parent of a TJ kid, and I will tell you what I have seen in action. There are excellent, very well respected schools where your kid will get a great education— even in STEM— and that will place them at the top of the grad school admissions heap. And Asian kids are not applying. Those that do are getting a boost over white girls (girls are also over represented).

For example, Grinnell and Oberlin are both top SLACs. They are also both in the top 5 in science PhD production by graduates. Their science grads consistently get into the top handful of grad programs in their field. They both having phenomenal med school placement. A science kid will go and do hands on published research with a professor for 4 years if they want it and get great internships. Because they aren’t competing with grad students. And a high achieving Asian kid is likely to be considered URM and get half tuition merit aid.

These schools also exist in engineering (but the selection is weaker). Mudd, of course. Rose Hulman. Cooper Union. You have a girl who is interested in international relations? HRC and Madeline Albright went to Wellesley. Have your kid who writes apply to Kenyon.

OTOH, the landscape for UVA, Michigan, Purdue is pretty brutal. For whites too. But it does look like Asian boys take the hardest hit.

From the outside looking in, it seems like Asian parents are overlooking small schools that lack national name recognition, but are very well respected in their fields. Asian kids are being heavily recruited by these schools right now. Look on the the Liberal Arts College side of USNWR instead of national university. Liberal arts doesn’t mean underwater basket weaving, or even humanities. It means no grad school. Which can be a huge benefit to kids who aren’t crowded out by grad students and sitting in huge classes taught by TAs. They get small classes and a lot of access to the full professors.

Anyway. I know you wanted the Asian insight. And I respect that. But from the outside looking in, I’m shocked as to where Asian kids aren’t applying.

[Anonymous]

This is depressing. Signed, Asian-American mom of biracial kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s real - you’re not competing against everyone, you’re competing against smarter Asian Americans

The above is true at a very small number of colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is depressing. Signed, Asian-American mom of biracial kids

Yes, it is depressing, and unfair, and the reason why we better hope the lawsuit against Harvard will eventually prevail.

[Anonymous]

Spend the money and get the best college counselling service you can. Make Naviance your friend and start researching schools when your kid is still in 8th grade or entering HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the white parent of a TJ kid, and I will tell you what I have seen in action. There are excellent, very well respected schools where your kid will get a great education— even in STEM— and that will place them at the top of the grad school admissions heap. And Asian kids are not applying. Those that do are getting a boost over white girls (girls are also over represented).

For example, Grinnell and Oberlin are both top SLACs. They are also both in the top 5 in science PhD production by graduates. Their science grads consistently get into the top handful of grad programs in their field. They both having phenomenal med school placement. A science kid will go and do hands on published research with a professor for 4 years if they want it and get great internships. Because they aren’t competing with grad students. And a high achieving Asian kid is likely to be considered URM and get half tuition merit aid.

These schools also exist in engineering (but the selection is weaker). Mudd, of course. Rose Hulman. Cooper Union. You have a girl who is interested in international relations? HRC and Madeline Albright went to Wellesley. Have your kid who writes apply to Kenyon.

OTOH, the landscape for UVA, Michigan, Purdue is pretty brutal. For whites too. But it does look like Asian boys take the hardest hit.

From the outside looking in, it seems like Asian parents are overlooking small schools that lack national name recognition, but are very well respected in their fields. Asian kids are being heavily recruited by these schools right now. Look on the the Liberal Arts College side of USNWR instead of national university. Liberal arts doesn’t mean underwater basket weaving, or even humanities. It means no grad school. Which can be a huge benefit to kids who aren’t crowded out by grad students and sitting in huge classes taught by TAs. They get small classes and a lot of access to the full professors.

Anyway. I know you wanted the Asian insight. And I respect that. But from the outside looking in, I’m shocked as to where Asian kids aren’t applying.

Thanks for posting this. Really good perspective. I am open to listening to what we are overlooking. Socially, i would want my kids to go where there are at least some representation of Asian American students. Greek life is not what we are looking for at all.

[Anonymous]

Know that the "cap" on Asians is an artificial and random cap. We are being discriminated against now, but we will be in a position of power to champion for merit instead of race, later in life.


Our frugality will allow our children to reap the reward of higher education. Nothing can beat the feeling to be able to afford college and the college application process for our kids, because we lived on rice and beans and saved for college.

[Anonymous]

It is grossly exaggerated. Diversity is valued at most schools. My child's Asian American status was an ADVANTAGE at small liberal arts schools.

Now if you are dead set on attending a top ten Ivy, that may be another story. But if you are putting your kids under undue pressure for the sake of status, you should examine that about yourself.

[Anonymous]

It’s also important to remember that professors and peers also know that asian american students may be top performers and as such often expect them to be smart and hardworking.... the challenge can also be beneficial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is grossly exaggerated. Diversity is valued at most schools. My child's Asian American status was an ADVANTAGE at small liberal arts schools.

Now if you are dead set on attending a top ten Ivy, that may be another story. But if you are putting your kids under undue pressure for the sake of status, you should examine that about yourself.

Read the post by the White TJ parent above. An advantage at a small liberal arts school does not mean that there is not a disadvantage at other schools.