Parents of Asian-American Kids: What did you learn from the college admissions process?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes the Asian talk “only the best will do” for their kid makes me wonder who do you think you are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have a bright, but average, sporty Asian American boy with good grades but no interest in loading up on more than 2 AP classes a year and does not fit the brainy, overachiever, Asian stereotype-- he's screwed.

Oh S**... I have 2!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL

That is funny. I also, from the DMV, had never heard of that school. Amusing that they think it is SO impressive in their little NoVA bubble

Bud, your bulb is weak to sputtering. Seriously lacking in minimum needed brightness.

Signed - Not a TJ parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1, my neighbor's TJ kid with full SAT score and perfect everything else (leadership, volunteering...) was rejected by top 20 schools and ended up with UVA. The parents were so upset and didn't talk to anyone for months.

LOL... my asian kid attended St. Albans school with mediocre grade and SAT. He graduated from an unknown college but it really did not matter. He got a job because one of his high school "buddies" was the SVP at his father's company. My kid is now Senior VP at the company report directly to his high school buddy who is now Executive VP. He is making more money than he knows what to do with it. It's about the connection.

+ 1. THIS!

We are Asian. Two boys, neither one is spectacular. I only want them to focus on four things - Communication skills, confidence, complete college (cheaper the better), good/decent grades..in that order. With these 4 things, I can get them internships during college/job at a top consulting firm with my connections. The rest is upto them. Have already done that for two of my nephews and they are doing well.. Don't waste your money on college. It's the biggest scam out there.

I come across people from no-name colleges that are doing extremely well... all the time!

[Anonymous]

Here are the lessons I learned.

If you are an Asian kid, you better have all of the following to get into a top 20 school if you are not a legacy kids, first gen kid or extremely low SES

1) Near perfect scores
2) Near perfect GPA (You realistically need to be in top 3% of your class, better if you are in the top 1%, specially if you are from a suburban public school)
3) Near perfect Subject Test scores

These three will just put you in the running. After that

4) Recommendation letters that say that "you are one of the best" the teacher has ever seen in his/her lifetime
5) An EC that is not too Asian. Like Piano, debate, passion for Robotics (unless you are a girl), etc. etc. will mean a big "Ding"
6) An EC that is grounded in a non-STEM field, where you have achieved at least state level recognition, preferably national level recognition


If you have these you stand a fighting chance. If you don't have these, set your sights lower or go to your state flagship. That's where admissions is today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“I have a child who is intellectually gifted who scores really high on testing and gets straight As. She’s Caucasian. How come I realize that’s not necessarily enough to get into Harvard, but Asians think that’s all it takes? I mean it must just be cultural.”


Love how a lot of parents on here who think their mediocre students are “intellectually gifted.” Most high school gifted programs usually take top 5% and then there are high schools that water down the criterion to top 10%. They may be “gifted” in your district, but they are not truly “gifted.” Most self-styled “intellectually gifted” kids can’t hang with ivy students.

No. No, I meant intellectually gifted per WISC testing. 140+ IQ. 1400+ SAT in 7th grade. Not Profoundly gifted or anything, but not top 5%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, this thread is a good example of what's wrong with the approaches taken by many Asian families and why top colleges don't want full of Asian kids. There are ~4000 colleges in US. The "success" threshold for Asian families are (not all but most) are top 10-20 schools... The "Ivy/M/S or Bust" approach is not healthy. If I were an admission officer, I would do my best to mix kids from all SES/racial backgrounds. And I say this as an Asian parent. You see this happening at HS level too as you see here re. TJ posts

I do not agree.

Asians have to break the bamboo ceiling. All the kids who went on to do well in no-name colleges are White. Asians do not get this kind of opportunities unless they are going with colleges that have the name recognition. With all the steller stats my kid has, he cannot change the race that he is in. If a person is biracial (White with whatever other race) and if they can pass for White, they should position themselves as White candidate.

No one has the Ivy/M/S mentality, but the employers do. And the employers are White who want to employ White people. The only Asians they want to employ are the ones who can be exploited for a very low pay like the H1B visa slaves or someone who has the credentials and training from a good college.

Anyhow, the only silver lining is that most Asian-American parents will sacrifice a lot in their lives to make sure that the kids get an education and a financial leg-up in life. As the cost of college education keeps on rising Asian-Americans may come out on the top because their parents help them out.

Not true. I'm Indian who went to a "low name" (at least at that time) school in upper management. I was an "H1B slave" but my "white masters" recognized my worth and before my 6 years were up I was a VP. This was before Indians were everywhere.

I know dozens of Asians that went to random schools (Alabama, missippi, kentucky, etc) that are doing well across the country. Most are first generation like me though. I can't imagine why my son who was born here getting a much better HS education can't do better than me with the same level of college.

It's very important for asian parents to stop thinking of themselves as "victims" and pass that mindset to their kids. In the long run, that matters more than anything else..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, this thread is a good example of what's wrong with the approaches taken by many Asian families and why top colleges don't want full of Asian kids. There are ~4000 colleges in US. The "success" threshold for Asian families are (not all but most) are top 10-20 schools... The "Ivy/M/S or Bust" approach is not healthy. If I were an admission officer, I would do my best to mix kids from all SES/racial backgrounds. And I say this as an Asian parent. You see this happening at HS level too as you see here re. TJ posts

I do not agree.

Asians have to break the bamboo ceiling. All the kids who went on to do well in no-name colleges are White. Asians do not get this kind of opportunities unless they are going with colleges that have the name recognition. With all the steller stats my kid has, he cannot change the race that he is in. If a person is biracial (White with whatever other race) and if they can pass for White, they should position themselves as White candidate.

No one has the Ivy/M/S mentality, but the employers do. And the employers are White who want to employ White people. The only Asians they want to employ are the ones who can be exploited for a very low pay like the H1B visa slaves or someone who has the credentials and training from a good college.

Anyhow, the only silver lining is that most Asian-American parents will sacrifice a lot in their lives to make sure that the kids get an education and a financial leg-up in life. As the cost of college education keeps on rising Asian-Americans may come out on the top because their parents help them out.

Not true. I'm Indian who went to a "low name" (at least at that time) school in upper management. I was an "H1B slave" but my "white masters" recognized my worth and before my 6 years were up I was a VP. This was before Indians were everywhere.

I know dozens of Asians that went to random schools (Alabama, missippi, kentucky, etc) that are doing well across the country. Most are first generation like me though. I can't imagine why my son who was born here getting a much better HS education can't do better than me with the same level of college.

It's very important for asian parents to stop thinking of themselves as "victims" and pass that mindset to their kids. In the long run, that matters more than anything else..

Maybe we are anecdotes, but I'm Asian American and also went to a B (c?) rated state school, and though I am not a high level manager (my own choice, I really don't want to be in management), I make good money (six figures for 20 years now). I ended up in a highly paid field. I have zero doubt that should I have chosen to go the management track, I would be a sr. manager by now in a very prestigious company. They offered me the management track, and I declined.

It's a combination of work ethic and smarts.

I will say, however, that it took me longer to get to where I am than if I had gone to a more prestigious university. But, I was a low income kid with immigrant parents who didn't know a thing about US colleges, and the low rated HS I went to didn't have a college counselor.

I'm not shooing for my magnet Asian kid to go to HYP, but I would like DCs to go to some top tier university depending on their major. Why not? DC is smart and hard working (and yes has other EC activities), and I would love for DC to be able to get a better education and a better start to adult life than I had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, this thread is a good example of what's wrong with the approaches taken by many Asian families and why top colleges don't want full of Asian kids. There are ~4000 colleges in US. The "success" threshold for Asian families are (not all but most) are top 10-20 schools... The "Ivy/M/S or Bust" approach is not healthy. If I were an admission officer, I would do my best to mix kids from all SES/racial backgrounds. And I say this as an Asian parent. You see this happening at HS level too as you see here re. TJ posts

I do not agree.

Asians have to break the bamboo ceiling. All the kids who went on to do well in no-name colleges are White. Asians do not get this kind of opportunities unless they are going with colleges that have the name recognition. With all the steller stats my kid has, he cannot change the race that he is in. If a person is biracial (White with whatever other race) and if they can pass for White, they should position themselves as White candidate.

No one has the Ivy/M/S mentality, but the employers do. And the employers are White who want to employ White people. The only Asians they want to employ are the ones who can be exploited for a very low pay like the H1B visa slaves or someone who has the credentials and training from a good college.

Anyhow, the only silver lining is that most Asian-American parents will sacrifice a lot in their lives to make sure that the kids get an education and a financial leg-up in life. As the cost of college education keeps on rising Asian-Americans may come out on the top because their parents help them out.

Not true. I'm Indian who went to a "low name" (at least at that time) school in upper management. I was an "H1B slave" but my "white masters" recognized my worth and before my 6 years were up I was a VP. This was before Indians were everywhere.

I know dozens of Asians that went to random schools (Alabama, missippi, kentucky, etc) that are doing well across the country. Most are first generation like me though. I can't imagine why my son who was born here getting a much better HS education can't do better than me with the same level of college.

It's very important for asian parents to stop thinking of themselves as "victims" and pass that mindset to their kids. In the long run, that matters more than anything else..

I am the pp you responded to. Your tone and life story makes me suspect that you may be my DH. Lol

Anyhow, what worked for us when there were not many Indians around is not the reality now. US of 20 years ago is not the US of today.

Now, within the last 10 years, college admissions have changed radically. Even within the last 5 years, even state colleges have become hard to get in. You would know that if you were not so out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here are the lessons I learned.

If you are an Asian kid, you better have all of the following to get into a top 20 school if you are not a legacy kids, first gen kid or extremely low SES

1) Near perfect scores
2) Near perfect GPA (You realistically need to be in top 3% of your class, better if you are in the top 1%, specially if you are from a suburban public school)
3) Near perfect Subject Test scores

These three will just put you in the running. After that

4) Recommendation letters that say that "you are one of the best" the teacher has ever seen in his/her lifetime
5) An EC that is not too Asian. Like Piano, debate, passion for Robotics (unless you are a girl), etc. etc. will mean a big "Ding"
6) An EC that is grounded in a non-STEM field, where you have achieved at least state level recognition, preferably national level recognition


If you have these you stand a fighting chance. If you don't have these, set your sights lower or go to your state flagship. That's where admissions is today.

What EC is not too Asian? ballet for boys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here are the lessons I learned.

If you are an Asian kid, you better have all of the following to get into a top 20 school if you are not a legacy kids, first gen kid or extremely low SES

1) Near perfect scores
2) Near perfect GPA (You realistically need to be in top 3% of your class, better if you are in the top 1%, specially if you are from a suburban public school)
3) Near perfect Subject Test scores

These three will just put you in the running. After that

4) Recommendation letters that say that "you are one of the best" the teacher has ever seen in his/her lifetime
5) An EC that is not too Asian. Like Piano, debate, passion for Robotics (unless you are a girl), etc. etc. will mean a big "Ding"
6) An EC that is grounded in a non-STEM field, where you have achieved at least state level recognition, preferably national level recognition


If you have these you stand a fighting chance. If you don't have these, set your sights lower or go to your state flagship. That's where admissions is today.

Dude. That’s where admissions are for unhooked UMC white kids too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here are the lessons I learned.

If you are an Asian kid, you better have all of the following to get into a top 20 school if you are not a legacy kids, first gen kid or extremely low SES

1) Near perfect scores
2) Near perfect GPA (You realistically need to be in top 3% of your class, better if you are in the top 1%, specially if you are from a suburban public school)
3) Near perfect Subject Test scores

These three will just put you in the running. After that

4) Recommendation letters that say that "you are one of the best" the teacher has ever seen in his/her lifetime
5) An EC that is not too Asian. Like Piano, debate, passion for Robotics (unless you are a girl), etc. etc. will mean a big "Ding"
6) An EC that is grounded in a non-STEM field, where you have achieved at least state level recognition, preferably national level recognition


If you have these you stand a fighting chance. If you don't have these, set your sights lower or go to your state flagship. That's where admissions is today.

Dude. That’s where admissions are for unhooked UMC white kids too.

There’s nothing wrong with being a big fish in a small pond rather than a small fish in a big pond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, this thread is a good example of what's wrong with the approaches taken by many Asian families and why top colleges don't want full of Asian kids. There are ~4000 colleges in US. The "success" threshold for Asian families are (not all but most) are top 10-20 schools... The "Ivy/M/S or Bust" approach is not healthy. If I were an admission officer, I would do my best to mix kids from all SES/racial backgrounds. And I say this as an Asian parent. You see this happening at HS level too as you see here re. TJ posts

I do not agree.

Asians have to break the bamboo ceiling. All the kids who went on to do well in no-name colleges are White. Asians do not get this kind of opportunities unless they are going with colleges that have the name recognition. With all the steller stats my kid has, he cannot change the race that he is in. If a person is biracial (White with whatever other race) and if they can pass for White, they should position themselves as White candidate.

No one has the Ivy/M/S mentality, but the employers do. And the employers are White who want to employ White people. The only Asians they want to employ are the ones who can be exploited for a very low pay like the H1B visa slaves or someone who has the credentials and training from a good college.

Anyhow, the only silver lining is that most Asian-American parents will sacrifice a lot in their lives to make sure that the kids get an education and a financial leg-up in life. As the cost of college education keeps on rising Asian-Americans may come out on the top because their parents help them out.

Not true. I'm Indian who went to a "low name" (at least at that time) school in upper management. I was an "H1B slave" but my "white masters" recognized my worth and before my 6 years were up I was a VP. This was before Indians were everywhere.

I know dozens of Asians that went to random schools (Alabama, missippi, kentucky, etc) that are doing well across the country. Most are first generation like me though. I can't imagine why my son who was born here getting a much better HS education can't do better than me with the same level of college.

It's very important for asian parents to stop thinking of themselves as "victims" and pass that mindset to their kids. In the long run, that matters more than anything else..

I am the pp you responded to. Your tone and life story makes me suspect that you may be my DH. Lol

Anyhow, what worked for us when there were not many Indians around is not the reality now. US of 20 years ago is not the US of today.

Now, within the last 10 years, college admissions have changed radically. Even within the last 5 years, even state colleges have become hard to get in. You would know that if you were not so out of touch.

I'm fully aware of how things have changed over the past several years. I have two kids in HS. My point is that college is not the end-all. This country is filled with opportunity and for the most part the locals are welcoming and not scheming behind your back to discriminate against you as you make it out to be.. Sure, not going to a top school may mean you start further behind compared to those kids but you have your whole life to catch up and get ahead..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, this thread is a good example of what's wrong with the approaches taken by many Asian families and why top colleges don't want full of Asian kids. There are ~4000 colleges in US. The "success" threshold for Asian families are (not all but most) are top 10-20 schools... The "Ivy/M/S or Bust" approach is not healthy. If I were an admission officer, I would do my best to mix kids from all SES/racial backgrounds. And I say this as an Asian parent. You see this happening at HS level too as you see here re. TJ posts

I do not agree.

Asians have to break the bamboo ceiling. All the kids who went on to do well in no-name colleges are White. Asians do not get this kind of opportunities unless they are going with colleges that have the name recognition. With all the steller stats my kid has, he cannot change the race that he is in. If a person is biracial (White with whatever other race) and if they can pass for White, they should position themselves as White candidate.

No one has the Ivy/M/S mentality, but the employers do. And the employers are White who want to employ White people. The only Asians they want to employ are the ones who can be exploited for a very low pay like the H1B visa slaves or someone who has the credentials and training from a good college.

Anyhow, the only silver lining is that most Asian-American parents will sacrifice a lot in their lives to make sure that the kids get an education and a financial leg-up in life. As the cost of college education keeps on rising Asian-Americans may come out on the top because their parents help them out.

Not true. I'm Indian who went to a "low name" (at least at that time) school in upper management. I was an "H1B slave" but my "white masters" recognized my worth and before my 6 years were up I was a VP. This was before Indians were everywhere.

I know dozens of Asians that went to random schools (Alabama, missippi, kentucky, etc) that are doing well across the country. Most are first generation like me though. I can't imagine why my son who was born here getting a much better HS education can't do better than me with the same level of college.

It's very important for asian parents to stop thinking of themselves as "victims" and pass that mindset to their kids. In the long run, that matters more than anything else..

Maybe we are anecdotes, but I'm Asian American and also went to a B (c?) rated state school, and though I am not a high level manager (my own choice, I really don't want to be in management), I make good money (six figures for 20 years now). I ended up in a highly paid field. I have zero doubt that should I have chosen to go the management track, I would be a sr. manager by now in a very prestigious company. They offered me the management track, and I declined.

It's a combination of work ethic and smarts.

I will say, however, that it took me longer to get to where I am than if I had gone to a more prestigious university. But, I was a low income kid with immigrant parents who didn't know a thing about US colleges, and the low rated HS I went to didn't have a college counselor.

I'm not shooing for my magnet Asian kid to go to HYP, but I would like DCs to go to some top tier university depending on their major. Why not? DC is smart and hard working (and yes has other EC activities), and I would love for DC to be able to get a better education and a better start to adult life than I had.

I realized I could have made more money staying technical but it was too late by then . I completely agree that a great school would mean a better start. All I was saying was that it's not the end-all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yawn it's about connections not your undergrad for crying out loud

No one cares about your undergrad or first job out of school long term

Spend more time on soft skills it will help all your kids more in life

And this is how the tyranny of stupid white people is maintained . . .