About to blow my top with my D's university.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be mean to the OP. We all would feel terrible if this happened. Think about it.... regardless of who is at fault here...parents would feel bad.

We're mean to the OP because she's not mad at the right person.

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to say that something similar happened to my friend at an Ivy. She had already had a job (which she received in March so the verification process happened pre-graduation). She never told the employer and she’s still there 7 years later. She never graduated.

Not a risk I would take but it’s working for some people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that your daughter was called an "idiot" (see pp above) for getting a "D."

How would you like to be his/her daughter?

And society wonders why kids use performance enhancing drugs/cheat/commit suicide.

DP. A grade of 'D' is reserved for the kids who have failed to learn even the bare minimum of material for the class. It's expected that everyone in the class has the capacity to pass.

If her daughter couldn't handle the university, she should have gone somewhere easier.

NP. For all anyone here knows, the DD had one crappy professor who taught horribly or graded viciously--yes, there really are some arrogant a$$es teaching, who believe it toughens kids up to grade them as harshly as possible. And there are some idiot professors who do things like assure students, don't worry, you did OK, I just haven't finalized the grades yet, etc.

For all anyone here knows, the DD might have had fine grades through all of college and this one D is an aberration-- assuming that "she couldn't handle the university" as if she had tanked for four straight years is just stupid. You do not know the specifics around this one grade.

While it does seem that the DD should have kept closer tabs on things, do PPs blaming and blasting her really believe everyone who is getting out of college and moving immediately into an internship and job, as OP's DD was, is focusing anywhere but on those things? I understand why OP and the DD feel blindsided. Why didn't the university tell the student sooner that there was a problem? The line about how she can ONLY make up the credit AT the university sounds like a BS attempt to suck tuition out of her and to let the university preen itself over its "standards."

OP, university students are consumers and as such your DD needs to tell them she will work with them to fix this, but she has a full-time job (the goal of the education--right?) so they need to work with her on another route to that credit. She also should consider an appeal especially since the university took so long to notify her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that your daughter was called an "idiot" (see pp above) for getting a "D."

How would you like to be his/her daughter?

And society wonders why kids use performance enhancing drugs/cheat/commit suicide.

DP. A grade of 'D' is reserved for the kids who have failed to learn even the bare minimum of material for the class. It's expected that everyone in the class has the capacity to pass.

If her daughter couldn't handle the university, she should have gone somewhere easier.

NP. For all anyone here knows, the DD had one crappy professor who taught horribly or graded viciously--yes, there really are some arrogant a$$es teaching, who believe it toughens kids up to grade them as harshly as possible. And there are some idiot professors who do things like assure students, don't worry, you did OK, I just haven't finalized the grades yet, etc.

For all anyone here knows, the DD might have had fine grades through all of college and this one D is an aberration-- assuming that "she couldn't handle the university" as if she had tanked for four straight years is just stupid. You do not know the specifics around this one grade.

While it does seem that the DD should have kept closer tabs on things, do PPs blaming and blasting her really believe everyone who is getting out of college and moving immediately into an internship and job, as OP's DD was, is focusing anywhere but on those things? I understand why OP and the DD feel blindsided. Why didn't the university tell the student sooner that there was a problem? The line about how she can ONLY make up the credit AT the university sounds like a BS attempt to suck tuition out of her and to let the university preen itself over its "standards."

OP, university students are consumers and as such your DD needs to tell them she will work with them to fix this, but she has a full-time job (the goal of the education--right?) so they need to work with her on another route to that credit. She also should consider an appeal especially since the university took so long to notify her.

Yes. I believe that students who had the academic chops to get into a T25 university are very, very good at dotting their "i"s, crossing their "t"s, and making sure they check all the right boxes. If she was truly doing well all this time, there is no way this came as a huge shock.

[Anonymous]

My BIL is an associate dean at a law school. He spent some of his summer holiday working with staff on these type issues over the phone. The student should know what the requirements are for graduation. If they aren’t met, the student can’t graduate. Raising a stink thinking they don’t want this public is inaccurate. They don’t want people to think they their graduates aren’t required to meet their standards. Otherwise every graduates diploma is worthless from that school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to say that something similar happened to my friend at an Ivy. She had already had a job (which she received in March so the verification process happened pre-graduation). She never told the employer and she’s still there 7 years later. She never graduated.

Not a risk I would take but it’s working for some people!

Your friend risks a future employer checking her resume credentials and finding out she does not have the degree she claims to have. It can derail her career and tar her as a liar (even if the fault actually was with the college somehow). If she is shrugging and depending on the belief that no employer will ever ask her Ivy to confirm her degree, she's got her head in the sand. I would bet that seven years after college she figures that her work experience is all that matters now. She's wrong. I used to work for an HR organization and know that some employers would have to reject a candidate who claimed a degree that the candidate's college said wasn't granted, even if the employer liked the candidate. Some employers wouldn't care and some would be understanding if the issue was a single class credit. But many would consider this a problem with the candidate's honesty.

[Anonymous]

OP, I teach as an adjunct and I need to reinforce what some of the other PPs have said. There is ZERO chance that your daughter didn't know about this grade. Nowadays all of this is done electronically, and I typically hear from students within moments of posting the grades, because they are automatically notified. This is equally true of slackers as well as type A students. She may not have known at the commencement ceremony, but she knew--no doubt about it.

Your daughter is trying to deflect the blame onto the school for her failure to do well in a class. I get it, but you really shouldn't fall for it. She got herself into this mess, she can get herself out of it (as a PP said, universities do appreciate that they are in the customer service business; they will work with her to resolve this.) But getting hysterical and blaming the school is a handy way of letting your daughter off the hook... again.

[Anonymous]

So the OP posted quite the tale here. Everyone is in a frenzy and she hasn’t returned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter really doesn't have any excuse for 1) not knowing her own grades, and 2) not knowing her degree requirements. You're really trying to blame the school but they didn't fail the class, she did.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow my reactions is though your D should have been on top of the grade situation this is totally on your D's school.

They are telling you three months later only because you inquired? I would say this is gross negligence on their part and it sounds like they are even admitting that.

I would go to the dean if they do not allow her to take her course locally. At 21 many kids just don't think like us wiser adults do.

I am sure it is a major life lesson for your D and in the end ,a good one however this is something the school should have advised you months ago!

It's not a college's job to tell each student whether they've met the requirements for graduation. It's the students' job to know what they need to do to get their degree, and to make sure they do it. Gross negligence to not remind a senior to check her own grades? Ridiculous.

Well it kind of is a college’s job to decide if someone passes and graduates. My DH is a professor and he has to submit senior grades a week in advance of grad. People know their status well in advance (not that anyone fails...I don’t think any top 25s fail people!). Troll.

Chicago, Hopkins, and MIT definitely give failing grades.

[Anonymous]

Ok, I’ll post my story about one very awful grade.... I had a language class in which almost the entire grade depended on an essay analyzing a short story in the language being studied. I misidentified the genre of the story (it was post-modern, and as I was not a lit major, I really did not know what a post-modern short fiction story was, nor was this covered in the class) and the professor failed me, saying that because I’d misidentified the genre, my entire analysis was off. I was crushed and it was the only bad grade I got in college. Luckily it was not something I needed for my major. But I do think it’s possible to get a D in a class that you thought you were doing fine in, because sometimes you get a prof who is just not really fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I teach as an adjunct and I need to reinforce what some of the other PPs have said. There is ZERO chance that your daughter didn't know about this grade. Nowadays all of this is done electronically, and I typically hear from students within moments of posting the grades, because they are automatically notified. This is equally true of slackers as well as type A students. She may not have known at the commencement ceremony, but she knew--no doubt about it.

Your daughter is trying to deflect the blame onto the school for her failure to do well in a class. I get it, but you really shouldn't fall for it. She got herself into this mess, she can get herself out of it (as a PP said, universities do appreciate that they are in the customer service business; they will work with her to resolve this.) But getting hysterical and blaming the school is a handy way of letting your daughter off the hook... again.

Amen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that your daughter was called an "idiot" (see pp above) for getting a "D."

How would you like to be his/her daughter?

And society wonders why kids use performance enhancing drugs/cheat/commit suicide.

DP. A grade of 'D' is reserved for the kids who have failed to learn even the bare minimum of material for the class. It's expected that everyone in the class has the capacity to pass.

If her daughter couldn't handle the university, she should have gone somewhere easier.

NP. For all anyone here knows, the DD had one crappy professor who taught horribly or graded viciously--yes, there really are some arrogant a$$es teaching, who believe it toughens kids up to grade them as harshly as possible. And there are some idiot professors who do things like assure students, don't worry, you did OK, I just haven't finalized the grades yet, etc.

For all anyone here knows, the DD might have had fine grades through all of college and this one D is an aberration-- assuming that "she couldn't handle the university" as if she had tanked for four straight years is just stupid. You do not know the specifics around this one grade.

While it does seem that the DD should have kept closer tabs on things, do PPs blaming and blasting her really believe everyone who is getting out of college and moving immediately into an internship and job, as OP's DD was, is focusing anywhere but on those things? I understand why OP and the DD feel blindsided. Why didn't the university tell the student sooner that there was a problem? The line about how she can ONLY make up the credit AT the university sounds like a BS attempt to suck tuition out of her and to let the university preen itself over its "standards."

OP, university students are consumers and as such your DD needs to tell them she will work with them to fix this, but she has a full-time job (the goal of the education--right?) so they need to work with her on another route to that credit. She also should consider an appeal especially since the university took so long to notify her.

Yes. I believe that students who had the academic chops to get into a T25 university are very, very good at dotting their "i"s, crossing their "t"s, and making sure they check all the right boxes. If she was truly doing well all this time, there is no way this came as a huge shock.

I was going to bold the same part and make the same statement. The PP is forgetting that many (most?) of us went to a good university and graduated. Around the time of graduation, we were making sure that we have fulfilled the academic requirements and yes, also applying and interviewing for jobs. That's part of what it means to be ready for the world.

Really, all these posters (or maybe just one) claiming that college grads are so young and immature and clueless and nothing much can be expected of them should make sure they announce that on their college applications. Because I'm sure the colleges want to know who is or is not going to represent them well in the real world. Can you imagine OP's daughter in a real job? Missing a few deadlines, forgetting to get a few signatures, oh that.... yeah..... let me go tell my mom so she can bail me out. That's not how it works. If you aren't capable of surviving at a proper university, you shouldn't be there. You're taking the place of someone who would. If you aren't capable of being a well functioning member of the workforce, you shouldn't be graduating. At least not from a top university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I teach as an adjunct and I need to reinforce what some of the other PPs have said. There is ZERO chance that your daughter didn't know about this grade. Nowadays all of this is done electronically, and I typically hear from students within moments of posting the grades, because they are automatically notified. This is equally true of slackers as well as type A students. She may not have known at the commencement ceremony, but she knew--no doubt about it.

Your daughter is trying to deflect the blame onto the school for her failure to do well in a class. I get it, but you really shouldn't fall for it. She got herself into this mess, she can get herself out of it (as a PP said, universities do appreciate that they are in the customer service business; they will work with her to resolve this.) But getting hysterical and blaming the school is a handy way of letting your daughter off the hook... again.

Amen.

+ 1

Her daughter is lying. If her daughter lied about this, she probably lied about her other grades all along. She could have made several Ds, and Perhaps her major GPA is too low to graduate now. I doubt OP has all the facts.

[Anonymous]

People here are such mindless drones.

My DH actually ended up getting his graduate degree from an Ivy before he got his undergrad diploma.

His undergrad teacher at a big name school was denied tenure and screwed him over on a paper grade. So my DH did walk the stage, then right into a job in his field. He never lied on his resume about a degree, just said he went there. 20 years later he went to the Ivy on a fellowship. When he was done he called his alma mater, told them about his Ivy league degree, and they accepted transfer credits fro. There to finally give him his bachelor's!