About to blow my top with my D's university.....

[Anonymous]

It there an online option for the class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter really doesn't have any excuse for 1) not knowing her own grades, and 2) not knowing her degree requirements. You're really trying to blame the school but they didn't fail the class, she did.

Completely agree. If I was skirting close to a D in a class, sure as heck I’d know what that final grade was before I started telling future employers that I received my diploma.

You should be upset with your grown daughter. The college did nothing wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, your daughter is stretching the truth with you. Clearly, though you don't want to see it.

1) There is no school, much less a top-25 school (including huge ones like Berkeley) that don't inform graduates that "walking" is not the same thing as "graduating," and that they will receive their diplomas after all of their grades are in and it is determined that they meet the criteria.

2) Your daughter is idiot enough to get a "D" in a class, but you think it's the university's fault she hasn't checked her transcript? Uh-huh. There is no way in hell she didn't know about the "D." In fact, I'd assume she thought it might be an "F," and was so relieved that it wasn't, she never bothered to check her transcript.

3) She had a departmental advisor at some point. She knew the rules, and was filling out a graduation checklist from the day she declared the major. It defies belief that she didn't know that you have to make a "C" in all classes required for your major.

4) Didn't the internship require a transcript?

5) Do you really, truly believe your daughter is the rare person who never checks her grades, or goes to find out about her diploma, or has any idea what the graduation requirements are? You, my friend, are being bamboozled by a young woman who knows your every button, and is playing you like a virtuoso on the accordion.

Maybe there's no manipulation and the daughter just really is that dense. Maybe the mom lined up the internship for her too - it sounds like a possibility.

[Anonymous]

How is this anyone’s fault but your daughters? She must have majorly bombed that class to get a D.

[Anonymous]

It's pretty standard that you have to take your last 30 or 60 credits at the college or university you're graduating from.

[Anonymous]

I also don't understand how she had no idea she got a D in the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I TOTALLY disagree that this is your daughters fault. I have been on the faculty of a University for more than 20 years. For kids who are graduating, they ask for our grades WAY in advance to ensure that kids only walk if they have met the degree requirements.

PLEASE state the name of your school. Really, one of the main reasons for this website is to warn others about bad consumer experiences.

With regard to next steps...I suggest that your daughter write a calm note to her employer (don't delay). Be apologetic and honest, but explain the situation. Anyone in her boat (since no kid has gone through college graduation before) might have the same story WITH A SCHOOL OF THAT ILK! If you delay, she could be accused of misrepresenting her credentials. If you tell them very soon after you found out, they are much more likely to believe you.

Hopefully, IF your daughter is viewed positively, they will let her stay while she works this out. OR they will change her status (like from full time to intern or something) until the actually meets the position requirements.

I would be just as mad as you. Sorry this happened. But again, please let us know the school. This is not a national website, and it could help another family. Good luck!

The only university I ever worked for which only allowed actual graduates to walk was very small (Catholic U.). The larger ones have multiple convocations, and encourage people to participate in the ceremony nearest when they will actually finish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, your daughter is stretching the truth with you. Clearly, though you don't want to see it.

1) There is no school, much less a top-25 school (including huge ones like Berkeley) that don't inform graduates that "walking" is not the same thing as "graduating," and that they will receive their diplomas after all of their grades are in and it is determined that they meet the criteria.

2) Your daughter is idiot enough to get a "D" in a class, but you think it's the university's fault she hasn't checked her transcript? Uh-huh. There is no way in hell she didn't know about the "D." In fact, I'd assume she thought it might be an "F," and was so relieved that it wasn't, she never bothered to check her transcript.

3) She had a departmental advisor at some point. She knew the rules, and was filling out a graduation checklist from the day she declared the major. It defies belief that she didn't know that you have to make a "C" in all classes required for your major.

4) Didn't the internship require a transcript?

5) Do you really, truly believe your daughter is the rare person who never checks her grades, or goes to find out about her diploma, or has any idea what the graduation requirements are? You, my friend, are being bamboozled by a young woman who knows your every button, and is playing you like a virtuoso on the accordion.

Maybe there's no manipulation and the daughter just really is that dense. Maybe the mom lined up the internship for her too - it sounds like a possibility.

In that case, mom, your helicopter has just crashed and burned the precious child you've been protecting for so long. Y'all are both out another semester's worth of time and money if you want T25 U on her diploma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand how she had no idea she got a D in the class.

No possible way except by willful ignorance.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe that your daughter was called an "idiot" (see pp above) for getting a "D."

How would you like to be his/her daughter?

And society wonders why kids use performance enhancing drugs/cheat/commit suicide.

[Anonymous]

You should be ready to blow your top at your daughter. Make her figure this out. Your extreme helicoptering has done enough.

[Anonymous]

I think it might be more constructive to look at this as a really unfortunate lesson in being an adult. There will be so many things over the years where she'll need to complete paperwork or other requirements (e.g., for a mortgage application) where the buck ultimately stops with you, even if there are other people in a position to know something is wrong/missing and could tell you but doesn't. Part of being a responsible adult is keeping track of these kinds of things and following up to make sure everything is done properly.

Also keep in mind that even if the school had notified her of the issue, she still is the one who earned the D and she would have to repeat the class either way. That's on her, not the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that your daughter was called an "idiot" (see pp above) for getting a "D."

How would you like to be his/her daughter?

And society wonders why kids use performance enhancing drugs/cheat/commit suicide.

DP. A grade of 'D' is reserved for the kids who have failed to learn even the bare minimum of material for the class. It's expected that everyone in the class has the capacity to pass.

If her daughter couldn't handle the university, she should have gone somewhere easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow - this is all on your daughter.

Advice? Sweet talk someone into approving an online course or a course at another university to complete the degree requirements. Other than that, sounds like she's going back to college.

This. There has to be a way for her to take the class at a local college. Maybe she though a D was passing (it often is), so didn't realize they wouldn't grant her credit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I TOTALLY disagree that this is your daughters fault. I have been on the faculty of a University for more than 20 years. For kids who are graduating, they ask for our grades WAY in advance to ensure that kids only walk if they have met the degree requirements.

PLEASE state the name of your school. Really, one of the main reasons for this website is to warn others about bad consumer experiences.

With regard to next steps...I suggest that your daughter write a calm note to her employer (don't delay). Be apologetic and honest, but explain the situation. Anyone in her boat (since no kid has gone through college graduation before) might have the same story WITH A SCHOOL OF THAT ILK! If you delay, she could be accused of misrepresenting her credentials. If you tell them very soon after you found out, they are much more likely to believe you.

Hopefully, IF your daughter is viewed positively, they will let her stay while she works this out. OR they will change her status (like from full time to intern or something) until the actually meets the position requirements.

I would be just as mad as you. Sorry this happened. But again, please let us know the school. This is not a national website, and it could help another family. Good luck!

That’s a very rare university then. For one thing, even with senior seminars, there are always students who don’t plan to graduate that semester, but take the class in their last 30 or so credits when it is available. At a school with 10,000+ enrolled, where 4th and 5th years might be taking anything from a 100 level just to fulfill a gen ed requirement up through highly specialized labs, that’s a crazy amount of oversight (possibly hundreds of courses) by a Dean’s office. Almost certainly instructors would have to develop different assessment schedules for any seniors or stop assessing everyone in the course a couple weeks early. That doesn’t sound plausible.