About to blow my top with my D's university.....

[Anonymous]

I hung mine above my DD’s crib. I had her a year before graduation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hung mine above my DD’s crib. I had her a year before graduation.

I turned mine into a crib mobile for my baby. Something to aspire to...so proud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I teach as an adjunct and I need to reinforce what some of the other PPs have said. There is ZERO chance that your daughter didn't know about this grade. Nowadays all of this is done electronically, and I typically hear from students within moments of posting the grades, because they are automatically notified. This is equally true of slackers as well as type A students. She may not have known at the commencement ceremony, but she knew--no doubt about it.

Your daughter is trying to deflect the blame onto the school for her failure to do well in a class. I get it, but you really shouldn't fall for it. She got herself into this mess, she can get herself out of it (as a PP said, universities do appreciate that they are in the customer service business; they will work with her to resolve this.) But getting hysterical and blaming the school is a handy way of letting your daughter off the hook... again.

+1000

I teach a large class required for a major at a T25 school. Not only do students know their grades, they also get audits for graduation and are lectured about the rules many times. Your daughter is lying to you. I have seen that again and again. And you are playing into it exactly how she hoped.
Getting angry at the school seems like the easier route but it would be a huge abdication of responsibility for your daughter. Your daughter f*ed up and needs to learn this life lesson now and not when she screw up at 35. There will be another job.

If only she had gotten in trouble earlier for something smaller. But she is an adult now. Make her pay back the tuition over her first few working years and sock that money in a retirement fund for her if you can afford it, but don’t tell her until she is 30. You will both be thankful later.

Or if you are rich you can probably buy your way out of this problem but the amount of money needed for that will depend on the school. And you will need to be rich even by DCUM standards for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've even seen people hang their graduation pictures on the wall - can you believe it?

You mean middle school graduation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've even seen people hang their graduation pictures on the wall - can you believe it?

You mean middle school graduation?

Actually, I've seen parents hang pictures of their kids, including their middle school kids, on the wall.

But I am specifically talking about graduation pictures where a graduate is awarded a diploma. I have actually seen college graduates hang their college graduation pictures on the wall. Everyone knows that the diploma is supposed to go up in the closet and the graduation pictures go in a desk drawer....never to be seen again until their household belongings are auctioned off 60 years later at their estate sale....and a grandchild says "Wow! I didn't know that Granny went to Harvard did you Mommy?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can you accuse the school of "clearly dropping the ball"??!

She did! Jeez!

EXACTLY!!

How dumb can you be, not only to get a D your final semester, but not even realize you might have gotten a D, and know that you don’t get credit for D’s and in turn didn’t actually graduate. She just upped and moved without seeing a final transcript.

I am not sure what is more embarrassing. The fact that she did this, or the fact that you find the school and not your DD at fault. LOL

[Anonymous]

Lol, your daughter played you!

She knew this and is now playing it off like the Univeristy is at fault. You go through too many grade audits and check-ins with an advisor/program director/dean to not know you’re getting a D. Heck, if you have a C they start prepping you for how it coukd play out if you go lower: you get to walk at grad and participate in all ceremonies but you don’t that diploma until you pass the class over the summer.

Anyway, my roommate in college got a D in a class that required a C or better to count for her program of study. They allowed her to walk and she never told her parents. She also never finished that class to graduate. We are now 36 and she’s been lying for 14 years! Even to her places of employment!

She took the family photos after graduation with the dummy diploma they gave her and no one was the wiser.

[Anonymous]

If she gets caught lying about a degree her career will be over.

[Anonymous]

so many cranky people! OP i a, sorry for what you are going through I can’t imagine how stressful it is plus with your husband - sending a virtual hug.

My best advise is to let your D handle it-it is likely if she is impassioned that her professor will work with her and work something out.

We had a ot to different experience 5years ado at UVA and they ended up allowing my D to take a class locally.Rhis will work out and one day you will both look back on this as a distant memory and one of the speed bumps of life.

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing this summer internship was something OP's DD could not bear to miss, so she decided to wait until now for the reveal. She probably didn't expect to find a job so soon, and kinda sorta thought the university would never reeeaaallly make her do more than make a humiliating phone call.

I suspect this is resolved by paying some fee (up to possibly the fee for taking a single class at this school), and then redoing the assignments she missed/bombed for whomever is teaching the course in the fall. She may have to fly out there once or twice, or maybe not.

[Anonymous]

Let your daughter handle her own problems and mind your own business. My kids would have been horrified if I interfered in college issues.

[Anonymous]

I have to say that this is one of the most ridiculous posts I've ever had the pleasure of reading on this forum. My children have known how to check their grades since early elementary. Your daughter is an adult. She is responsible for her own decisions. Have a nice life, OP.

[Anonymous]

Daughter is clearly being less than truthful about the whole situation. Best case she is truly only one bombed class away and that can be resolved by Either retaking or taking a credit locally. . Worst case, well unless you have actually logged in and seen her grades she may be further away from the degree than you think. Good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daughter is clearly being less than truthful about the whole situation. Best case she is truly only one bombed class away and that can be resolved by Either retaking or taking a credit locally. . Worst case, well unless you have actually logged in and seen her grades she may be further away from the degree than you think. Good luck

Good point. There are people who drop out before second semester senior year and their parents never even know. Sometimes, the parents are sending tuition money and it’s not being spent on college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are overly-involved in your daughter's life. Butt the hell out and don't be THAT parent.

+1