S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an extrovert, but if I don’t know you well and you start off with gossip and prying, I clam up. Not exactly a great first impression!

esp. if they, like OP, expect you to be "vulnerable" and share secrets about yourself! I'd clam up too.

You don’t get what I mean. To be vulnerable in a conversation is to have opinions, take a risk on a story, share something you think is funny or interesting. Sure it is easier to sit there and be quiet. It takes a little risk to be interesting. For example, I was in Texas and having lunch with a family friend of a friend. I didn’t know her but I loved talking to her. At one point she asked me “do you see the President all the time in DC, that would be so cool!” in kind of a star gaze way. A question like that takes risk. That person is willing to be vulnerable . She’s not afraid if it is a dumb question, she’s not concerned what people think of her. She’s just a person willing to take a risk in a conversation. We talked about her lularoe business, her kids, etc and it was awesome and interesting because she was willing to take these little risks on various topics. I respect people like that!

Doesn’t sound like this person was interested in earning your respect, and given the tone of your posts, I don’t blame her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gah! Being shy, quiet, or reticent is not introversion, people! Introverts are people who need a lot of alone time. They can be as gregarious as anyone a party, but then they need time alone to reenergize.

You are absolutely correct, but I've long since given up trying to get people to recognize the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an extrovert, but if I don’t know you well and you start off with gossip and prying, I clam up. Not exactly a great first impression!

esp. if they, like OP, expect you to be "vulnerable" and share secrets about yourself! I'd clam up too.

You don’t get what I mean. To be vulnerable in a conversation is to have opinions, take a risk on a story, share something you think is funny or interesting. Sure it is easier to sit there and be quiet. It takes a little risk to be interesting. For example, I was in Texas and having lunch with a family friend of a friend. I didn’t know her but I loved talking to her. At one point she asked me “do you see the President all the time in DC, that would be so cool!” in kind of a star gaze way. A question like that takes risk. That person is willing to be vulnerable . She’s not afraid if it is a dumb question, she’s not concerned what people think of her. She’s just a person willing to take a risk in a conversation. We talked about her lularoe business, her kids, etc and it was awesome and interesting because she was willing to take these little risks on various topics. I respect people like that!

Doesn’t sound like this person was interested in earning your respect, and given the tone of your posts, I don’t blame her.

Of course she wasn’t trying to earn my respect. I’m not her boss, just a friend of a friend. I’m just trying to convetvand give an example of taking risk or being vulnerable. I respect and admire people who do that and enjoy conversations with them, and I try to keep it going and invest in the conversation as well. I respect when people can do that. I dislike when people don’t even try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an introvert only because I hate filler conversation. It’s either interesting or important or relevant or it’s blather.

I don’t want to be trapped in an amateur episode of “The View” if I can help it.

So much blather. Especially from people who think they're "entertaining." They'll grab the floor and filibuster because they're oh so interesting.

+1

I hate participating in the inevitable “I love me/I am so witty/me me me/my opinions rawk!!!” op is invariably having with her helpless victims.

Wow you guys certainly have a lot of excuses for being lazy conversationalists.

So what's your excuse for Never.

Shutting.

Up?

You have serious antisocial tendencies. Seek help.

Snarky comments on the Internet are a pathology? Wow! Who knew?

If your only response is "shut up", that is not snarky, that is juvenile.

Juvenile is interpreting "never shutting up" as telling someone to shut up. By which I mean literally juvenile, as in you must be no more than 14 years old because there's no way you made it out of middle school without being able to distinguish between the two.

[Anonymous]

well OP is proud of her conversational skills, obviously. Maybe she was disappointed the dinner partner didn't ask any questions about OP so she couldn't discuss her favorite subject. Or maybe she's just a world-class talker and intimidated the other person.

[Anonymous]

Introvert = sneaky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an extrovert, but if I don’t know you well and you start off with gossip and prying, I clam up. Not exactly a great first impression!

esp. if they, like OP, expect you to be "vulnerable" and share secrets about yourself! I'd clam up too.

You don’t get what I mean. To be vulnerable in a conversation is to have opinions, take a risk on a story, share something you think is funny or interesting. Sure it is easier to sit there and be quiet. It takes a little risk to be interesting. For example, I was in Texas and having lunch with a family friend of a friend. I didn’t know her but I loved talking to her. At one point she asked me “do you see the President all the time in DC, that would be so cool!” in kind of a star gaze way. A question like that takes risk. That person is willing to be vulnerable . She’s not afraid if it is a dumb question, she’s not concerned what people think of her. She’s just a person willing to take a risk in a conversation. We talked about her lularoe business, her kids, etc and it was awesome and interesting because she was willing to take these little risks on various topics. I respect people like that!

Doesn’t sound like this person was interested in earning your respect, and given the tone of your posts, I don’t blame her.

Of course she wasn’t trying to earn my respect. I’m not her boss, just a friend of a friend. I’m just trying to convetvand give an example of taking risk or being vulnerable. I respect and admire people who do that and enjoy conversations with them, and I try to keep it going and invest in the conversation as well. I respect when people can do that. I dislike when people don’t even try.

YOU might respect that, but I can think of about a billion people - especially the wealthy, educated types like those who post on this site - who would be all...LOL she thinks we see the President regularly in DC? She sells LULAROE? Wow, what a tacky, uneducated flyover pleb. Seriously, I bet she goes to Applebee's too!!! And has never even been to Europe!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:well OP is proud of her conversational skills, obviously. Maybe she was disappointed the dinner partner didn't ask any questions about OP so she couldn't discuss her favorite subject. Or maybe she's just a world-class talker and intimidated the other person.

No, I was disappointed she didn’t add one thing to the dinner and drank wine and just watched us. It was lazy and lame. And it’s not a “communication style” when there is no communication!

[Anonymous]

Read Quiet. Look in the mirror and wonder why you cared so much about her opinion on topic x,y,z. Perhaps she could have faked something disingenuous. Or she knew better to keep her mouth shut. Offending ppl, etc...

Try active listening. You really get to know ppl when you care to listen to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well OP is proud of her conversational skills, obviously. Maybe she was disappointed the dinner partner didn't ask any questions about OP so she couldn't discuss her favorite subject. Or maybe she's just a world-class talker and intimidated the other person.

No, I was disappointed she didn’t add one thing to the dinner and drank wine and just watched us. It was lazy and lame. And it’s not a “communication style” when there is no communication!

Did you try to draw her out at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well OP is proud of her conversational skills, obviously. Maybe she was disappointed the dinner partner didn't ask any questions about OP so she couldn't discuss her favorite subject. Or maybe she's just a world-class talker and intimidated the other person.

No, I was disappointed she didn’t add one thing to the dinner and drank wine and just watched us. It was lazy and lame. And it’s not a “communication style” when there is no communication!

Clearly DCUM has voted you the lame one, OP. You sound like you wanted her attention but she didn’t give it to you 100% and now you’re stewing over it all weekend.

[Anonymous]

Classy people make others in their group feel comfortable. OP must not be classy.

[Anonymous]

I bet you were just as obnoxious in real life as you are being here, the “introvert” wanted no part of it and didn’t engage, and now you’re acting confused as to why she didn’t want to be your friend. News flash: everyone in this world may not like you and may not find you entertaining. I would ask you how old you are, but I’ve met many 40yo women that act obnoxious and make it a point to steer clear. And like you, they go on the offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet you were just as obnoxious in real life as you are being here, the “introvert” wanted no part of it and didn’t engage, and now you’re acting confused as to why she didn’t want to be your friend. News flash: everyone in this world may not like you and may not find you entertaining. I would ask you how old you are, but I’ve met many 40yo women that act obnoxious and make it a point to steer clear. And like you, they go on the offensive.

I’m not confused. She acted that way because she had a selfish quality. She wants to come out and hang out but she doesn’t contribute. It’s annoying. And when you “introverts” (note the quotes) do it with your friends, it’s annoying too. Bring something to the table. Try a little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Classy people make others in their group feel comfortable. OP must not be classy.

+1

Nailed it.