My son's best friend has a new super cute gf. But my son doesn't

[Anonymous]

I set two friends up once in high school. He dumped her right before the prom- it was awful, and he was such a catch. Lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

He’s not as handsome as you think. Guarantee it.

[Anonymous]

1) he might not want to date right now

2) he might be gay

3) just because you are a “catch” on paper, you might not be in real life. He could be annoying or weird and no one wants to date him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens don't seem to set their friends up like they used to in our day, OP.

It was very common in my time especially because so many of us girls had parents who wouldn't allow us to go on a date unless it was a group situation. Don't you ever remember taking one for the team? Having to go on a date with the annoying or less attractive friend of a friend's boyfriend so they could go on a date.

My mother once suggested something similar to my niece she was lamenting to my daughter about not having a boyfriend during Valentines. She told DD to find a friend for her cousin and my daughter was horrified. She said something like: "OMG, I get, like, crazy anxiety just recommending a friend try a restaurant or food that I liked. Like, what if they hate it? What if it makes them sick? What if they think I'm crazy for liking this place as much as I do? That's my mental breakdown for food, Grandma, and you want to go a step further and try to recommend a human to another human? I can't. I just can't!"

This all seems like it is out of an episode of Leave it to Beaver. How old are you people? I'm nearing 50 and we never recruited our girlfriends to date our boyfriends' friends.

I was about to ask this same question! I turn 50 next week, and this never, ever would have happened in my social circle in high school. Who are you people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's in OP's first post. The boy said there had been no introductions or invites to hang with her friends.

I don't think the fact that he told his mom that makes it so. He may be embarrassed that it didn't work out with one of the friends and not wanting to tell mom about the details. He may be sick of mom's nagging and just want to end the topic of conversation.

I'm the type that asks a million questions and wants to know all the details about things. My husband finds that annoying so sometimes he doesn't tell me things not out of malice, but because he doesn't want to answer the questions.

I can totally see this kid preferring to keep his dating life or lack thereof a secret from his overbearing mom.

[Anonymous]

I'm 51 and never saw this happen. Maybe people would meet at a party or something, but fixing up with a friend? Rarely happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is worried her son might be gay. It's ok, OP. It really is. Your son is likely not gay and just not interested in dating right now. Signed, mom of a gay 17 year old.

This, but I would say her son might well be gay.

[Anonymous]

Multiple people dating within a friend group cause all sorts of awkwardness when someone breaks up. My DDs say their friend groups avoid it whenever possible.

[Anonymous]

The f*ck did I just read?

[Anonymous]

,I'm also 51, and we were too busy with calculus homework to worry about everyone else's love life. If people didnt date, we respected their choices.

Your son's love life is not someone else's responsibility.

Studies also show a clear negative correlate between beginning dating at a young age and life success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The f*ck did I just read?

exactly

[Anonymous]

So creepy. Why does the OP's son's friend's girlfriend owe OP's son a damn thing, let alone owe him a set-up with one of her friends?!

And why does OP's son need a GF to be happy? Let him be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens don't seem to set their friends up like they used to in our day, OP.

It was very common in my time especially because so many of us girls had parents who wouldn't allow us to go on a date unless it was a group situation. Don't you ever remember taking one for the team? Having to go on a date with the annoying or less attractive friend of a friend's boyfriend so they could go on a date.

My mother once suggested something similar to my niece she was lamenting to my daughter about not having a boyfriend during Valentines. She told DD to find a friend for her cousin and my daughter was horrified. She said something like: "OMG, I get, like, crazy anxiety just recommending a friend try a restaurant or food that I liked. Like, what if they hate it? What if it makes them sick? What if they think I'm crazy for liking this place as much as I do? That's my mental breakdown for food, Grandma, and you want to go a step further and try to recommend a human to another human? I can't. I just can't!"

I disagree. Group hangs are very much a thing. If OP's kid was hot or rich or whatever this girl would be setting her friends up with him. A practice old as time.

Group hangs, yes, but that's not like years ago when Cindy would tell her boyfriend Timmy to have his friend Jimmy ask out her BFF Jane if he wanted to take her to the movies Friday night.

Now it's just giant groups with no pairs hanging out.

Back when I was a teen, I (and most of my female friends) could not go on a date without another girlfriend going as well. And since no one wants to third wheel it, you made your boyfriend set her up with one of his friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens don't seem to set their friends up like they used to in our day, OP.

It was very common in my time especially because so many of us girls had parents who wouldn't allow us to go on a date unless it was a group situation. Don't you ever remember taking one for the team? Having to go on a date with the annoying or less attractive friend of a friend's boyfriend so they could go on a date.

My mother once suggested something similar to my niece she was lamenting to my daughter about not having a boyfriend during Valentines. She told DD to find a friend for her cousin and my daughter was horrified. She said something like: "OMG, I get, like, crazy anxiety just recommending a friend try a restaurant or food that I liked. Like, what if they hate it? What if it makes them sick? What if they think I'm crazy for liking this place as much as I do? That's my mental breakdown for food, Grandma, and you want to go a step further and try to recommend a human to another human? I can't. I just can't!"

This all seems like it is out of an episode of Leave it to Beaver. How old are you people? I'm nearing 50 and we never recruited our girlfriends to date our boyfriends' friends.

Seriously? Wow! I'm in my 40s and this is how it went down where I'm from. We didn't get to solo date until our senior year of high school. I'm from the NOVA area, too, so not like the super religious south or midwest.

[Anonymous]

OK, in case this isn't a troll...I'll bite...and repeat a lot of things already said and add some new

1.) Kids have social media so her friends have probably checked him out. For all you know they have already been on a date/hooked up or whatever and he isn't going to tell you.

2.) Back in my day when parents got this worried about their son it was usually because the parent was worried the son might be gay...often he was not gay and just not ready, sometimes he was. OP, is this your fear? I certainly hope you accept and love him no matter what.

3.) OP, what if your son is hetereosexual and one day dates a woman who is overweight or isn't what you consider attractive or "cute?"