My son's best friend has a new super cute gf. But my son doesn't

[Anonymous]

Why do you even care if your kid has a GF? He's a teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Are you from around here? When I was growing up, the schools that we associated with guys that were a “good catch” were not at all the schools that parents freak over. Sidwell? We never saw those kids. They had no time to be as social as we wanted. GDS? Too nerdy. The girls all chased after the douchey Landon guys or the fun Gonzaga guys. We didn’t care if they were ivy bound or their families came here on the mayflower. We cared if they scored in the lacrosse game we were watching, if there parents were always out of town and they could throw parties, and how they looked with their shirt off. Duh.

Ha, sounds like you and I had the same high school experience. I went to a W public but loved when my Holton friend would invite me out because it meant Landon boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not trying to fix anything per se. More so wondering if it's sorta odd his best pal's gf isn't introducing him to her friends.

I think you're fixated on something that is from a different era. When you and your friends were teens, the only way to meet people and hope to start a relationship was through setting each other up. With social media and texting, now the kids don't need that third party interference. Boys find girls they are interested in on their own.

[Anonymous]

"Does s/he have any hot friends?" is a commonplace pop culture thing youth say.
And parents wishing their kids were set up with nice sweet peers is obviously commonplace.
idk why everyone is clutching their pearls lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I’m guessing the number one reason your son doesn’t have a girlfriend is beacause no one wants to deal with his super judgey and overbearing mother.

Or maybe, the son does actually have a girlfriend and mom just doesn't know about it because the son isn't interested in the embarrassment and judgment that introducing a girl to his mom would bring on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care if your well adjusted teenage son has a girlfriend? Seriously, if he's happy with sports and academics for now, that's a good thing!

Agree. Let him figure this out for himself. I completely understand how you want him to be happy and you'd like to make that happen for him. And despite your denial, your worry suggests otherwise. But you can't do it for him. I know how hard it is to back off and let a teenager figure things out. Take a deep breath and hang in there and don't get involved!

Just to add - this is not about figuring out what girls these days normally do or do not do. This is about mom needing to back off - as hard as it feels. That's the hardest part about parenting a teenager - accepting that you don't have control over things that you could easily fix. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. Good luck, mom!

I'm not trying to fix anything per se. More so wondering if it's sorta odd his best pal's gf isn't introducing him to her friends.

You don't know that she isn't introducing him to her friends. You only know he doesn't have a girlfriend you know about.

If you are close with your son, why not just ask him if he's interested in anyone, or if he'd like to meet someone? I found it mortifying when my parents talked to me about my dating life when I was a teenager but perhaps he'll disclose more.

(It really does sound gross when you list off his attractive attributes, and include that he goes to a better school than his friend - it sounds like you think girls should be all over the rich kid. Whether that's true or not, I know I would not want to date someone whose mom talked like that.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Touche. But that doesn't explain why his pal's gf hasn't tried to set him up with her single friends.

But mom has no idea if the pal's gf has or hasn't tried to set him up. She's just assuming so because her son doesn't have a girlfriend. Maybe the girl did try and the son didn't like any of the friends. Maybe the son has is sights on another girl. Maybe the son has in fact hooked up with many of the girl's friends and prefers being a player to being committed. Maybe the son is gay. Maybe the son fears rejection.

There could be a million maybes and jumping to the assumption that your son doesn't have a girlfriend because something is off-putting about him is quite the leap.

It's in OP's first post. The boy said there had been no introductions or invites to hang with her friends.

[Anonymous]

OP,

My daughter is the super cute outgoing gf in this situation. Let me tell you how this goes.

Me: Did you have fun at Larlo's friend's beach house today?
Kid: Yeah, except for Larlo's friend's mom.
Me: What do you mean?
Kid: She kept asking Larlo's friend if he had met any of my friends. I mean, I have only met the kid like twice including this weekend, why would I be introducing my friends to him? I am not even sure I would invite him to my bday party.
Me: I am sure she was just being friendly, but I can see how that was uncomfortable. No need for you to go there again if you decide not to.

And then my daughter tells bf Larlo that she would rather not go to his friend's beach house the next time it comes up and Larlo comes to our pool or my daughter goes to the Nats game with Larlo instead of hanging out with your son at your beach house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care if your well adjusted teenage son has a girlfriend? Seriously, if he's happy with sports and academics for now, that's a good thing!

Touche. But that doesn't explain why his pal's gf hasn't tried to set him up with her single friends.

NP. I find it interesting that someone would conclude that the son is "well adjusted". I think there's actually a very low chance of a kid turning out well adjusted with a mom like that (entitled, clueless, overbearing/overstepping, ...).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

My daughter is the super cute outgoing gf in this situation. Let me tell you how this goes.

Me: Did you have fun at Larlo's friend's beach house today?
Kid: Yeah, except for Larlo's friend's mom.
Me: What do you mean?
Kid: She kept asking Larlo's friend if he had met any of my friends. I mean, I have only met the kid like twice including this weekend, why would I be introducing my friends to him? I am not even sure I would invite him to my bday party.
Me: I am sure she was just being friendly, but I can see how that was uncomfortable. No need for you to go there again if you decide not to.

And then my daughter tells bf Larlo that she would rather not go to his friend's beach house the next time it comes up and Larlo comes to our pool or my daughter goes to the Nats game with Larlo instead of hanging out with your son at your beach house.

OP's post said she asked her son after they left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Are you from around here? When I was growing up, the schools that we associated with guys that were a “good catch” were not at all the schools that parents freak over. Sidwell? We never saw those kids. They had no time to be as social as we wanted. GDS? Too nerdy. The girls all chased after the douchey Landon guys or the fun Gonzaga guys. We didn’t care if they were ivy bound or their families came here on the mayflower. We cared if they scored in the lacrosse game we were watching, if there parents were always out of town and they could throw parties, and how they looked with their shirt off. Duh.

Ha, sounds like you and I had the same high school experience. I went to a W public but loved when my Holton friend would invite me out because it meant Landon boys.

Rang true to me as well. I also went to a W school and we were all about the Gonzaga and Georgetown Prep boys.

[Anonymous]

Stop bashing OP! But please stop being aholes and insulting her son! You don’t know him or what he looks like. He didn’t post this! DC women have shown their ugly side. And it’s a very large side from what I hear ... toodles

[Anonymous]

"Sweet, cute" descriptions say a lot about your priorities. You clearly have a very stereotype girl you approve of and nothing else will do. He surely knows this. Back off.

[Anonymous]

Maybe all of her friends are trashy, she know it and is protecting your son. Maybe he likes older woman and everyone but you knows it. Maybe she has younger sister and is lining that for a couple of years later. Maybe she is going to dump his friend a pursue your son. Maybe your son is waiting for his friend to shoot himself in the foot and swoop in. Maybe your son likes guys.

[Anonymous]

I'm not quite sure where to begin.

Perhaps, start off with accepting that there is a wide range of normal. If your son is not dating, it doesn't mean he's doomed to be a socially clueless bachelor for the rest of his life. If he takes more years to get to the point where he dates, this might be a good thing, because he will start with more maturity and may avoid silly mistakes.

Just enjoy the life you have with your loved ones, OP. Illness and accidents can take that away so fast.