My son's best friend has a new super cute gf. But my son doesn't

[Anonymous]

I’m thinking we’ve been trolled. Wow, this was a good one, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has got to win the craziest post of the day.

Good lord mom, back off! I shudder to think what kind of MIL you will be.

People are always posting “why oh why do people have issues with their MILs?”. This is why.
Oh OP. You are a piece of work. You will think you keep all these thoughts to yourself but they slip out in your time of voice and your petty subtle jabs. Fast Foreard 10-15 years and you will imply that your DIL’s college / major wasn’t prestigious enough and that maybe she has gained a little weight and should nip that in the bud. The. Lo and behold you will be on DCUM complaining she won’t let you see your grandkids and it’s because YOU ARE NUTS!

[Anonymous]

My 17 year old dd is absolutely gorgeous. She doesn’t have a boyfriend and isn’t actively seeking one. Why should she? She has great friends and plenty to do. It will happen when it happens.

And in all honesty, her friends (both girls and guys) who are dating are often not the most attractive, smartest, etc. People are attracted to who they’re attracted to for different reasons.

I’m guessing the number one reason your son doesn’t have a girlfriend is beacause no one wants to deal with his super judgey and overbearing mother.

[Anonymous]

OMG, Future MIL from hell.

BTW, maybe he's gay and doesn't know how to tell you that he's not interested in meeting any nice girls.

[Anonymous]

Teens don't seem to set their friends up like they used to in our day, OP.

It was very common in my time especially because so many of us girls had parents who wouldn't allow us to go on a date unless it was a group situation. Don't you ever remember taking one for the team? Having to go on a date with the annoying or less attractive friend of a friend's boyfriend so they could go on a date.

My mother once suggested something similar to my niece she was lamenting to my daughter about not having a boyfriend during Valentines. She told DD to find a friend for her cousin and my daughter was horrified. She said something like: "OMG, I get, like, crazy anxiety just recommending a friend try a restaurant or food that I liked. Like, what if they hate it? What if it makes them sick? What if they think I'm crazy for liking this place as much as I do? That's my mental breakdown for food, Grandma, and you want to go a step further and try to recommend a human to another human? I can't. I just can't!"

[Anonymous]

Also, just thinking outside of the box...

Maybe he doesn't have a gf because he plays for the other team, but isn't ready to jump into the starting lineup.

Let the boy be!

[Anonymous]

If your son was a catch the lad's gf WOULD in fact be eager to set up your son. So yes, it does tease out some defect in your boy - whether it's immaturity, unattractive, wrong school, etc. who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teens don't seem to set their friends up like they used to in our day, OP.

It was very common in my time especially because so many of us girls had parents who wouldn't allow us to go on a date unless it was a group situation. Don't you ever remember taking one for the team? Having to go on a date with the annoying or less attractive friend of a friend's boyfriend so they could go on a date.

My mother once suggested something similar to my niece she was lamenting to my daughter about not having a boyfriend during Valentines. She told DD to find a friend for her cousin and my daughter was horrified. She said something like: "OMG, I get, like, crazy anxiety just recommending a friend try a restaurant or food that I liked. Like, what if they hate it? What if it makes them sick? What if they think I'm crazy for liking this place as much as I do? That's my mental breakdown for food, Grandma, and you want to go a step further and try to recommend a human to another human? I can't. I just can't!"

I disagree. Group hangs are very much a thing. If OP's kid was hot or rich or whatever this girl would be setting her friends up with him. A practice old as time.

[Anonymous]

E, are you the OP? I want you to quit trying to get your DS a GF. Frankly, your obsession with the existent/non-existent love life of all the neighborhood tweens and teens including your own is very creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care if your well adjusted teenage son has a girlfriend? Seriously, if he's happy with sports and academics for now, that's a good thing!

Agree. Let him figure this out for himself. I completely understand how you want him to be happy and you'd like to make that happen for him. And despite your denial, your worry suggests otherwise. But you can't do it for him. I know how hard it is to back off and let a teenager figure things out. Take a deep breath and hang in there and don't get involved!

Just to add - this is not about figuring out what girls these days normally do or do not do. This is about mom needing to back off - as hard as it feels. That's the hardest part about parenting a teenager - accepting that you don't have control over things that you could easily fix. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. Good luck, mom!

I'm not trying to fix anything per se. More so wondering if it's sorta odd his best pal's gf isn't introducing him to her friends.

Okay. It's notl

I have three teen daughters and their friends are assertive and boy crazy. With social media the girl obviously knows who her bf's best friend is and what he looks like. She deemed OP's kid ugly, dorky, something. If OP's kid was some rich lax stud at Sta he'd have 25 friend requests from all her bffs and invites to hang.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care if your well adjusted teenage son has a girlfriend? Seriously, if he's happy with sports and academics for now, that's a good thing!

Agree. Let him figure this out for himself. I completely understand how you want him to be happy and you'd like to make that happen for him. And despite your denial, your worry suggests otherwise. But you can't do it for him. I know how hard it is to back off and let a teenager figure things out. Take a deep breath and hang in there and don't get involved!

Just to add - this is not about figuring out what girls these days normally do or do not do. This is about mom needing to back off - as hard as it feels. That's the hardest part about parenting a teenager - accepting that you don't have control over things that you could easily fix. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. Good luck, mom!

I'm not trying to fix anything per se. More so wondering if it's sorta odd his best pal's gf isn't introducing him to her friends.

Okay. It's notl

I have three teen daughters and their friends are assertive and boy crazy. With social media the girl obviously knows who her bf's best friend is and what he looks like. She deemed OP's kid ugly, dorky, something. If OP's kid was some rich lax stud at Sta he'd have 25 friend requests from all her bffs and invites to hang.

My kids are grown. Two of them are girls. I'm grateful they were nothing like your daughters and their friends in high school. Did you just skip the part about teaching kindness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All my friends had boyfriends in high school. I did not. I can not imagine the horrific shame and mortification I would have felt if my mother had suggested a) there was something wrong with me or b) that my friends set me up with their bf's friends.

This was me and I did feel horrific shame and suffered terrible self-esteem because my mom made me feel lesser for not having a boyfriend. It screwed me up with regard to relationships for a long time.

OP, my mom never told me this to my face by the way. She just spoke to her friends about it and assumed I didn't hear. So don't think coming to an anonymous board means your son will never know you feel this way.

[Anonymous]

OP, your son is gay. He just hasn't come out to you yet. But all his friends and his friends' girlfriends all know already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teens don't seem to set their friends up like they used to in our day, OP.

It was very common in my time especially because so many of us girls had parents who wouldn't allow us to go on a date unless it was a group situation. Don't you ever remember taking one for the team? Having to go on a date with the annoying or less attractive friend of a friend's boyfriend so they could go on a date.

My mother once suggested something similar to my niece she was lamenting to my daughter about not having a boyfriend during Valentines. She told DD to find a friend for her cousin and my daughter was horrified. She said something like: "OMG, I get, like, crazy anxiety just recommending a friend try a restaurant or food that I liked. Like, what if they hate it? What if it makes them sick? What if they think I'm crazy for liking this place as much as I do? That's my mental breakdown for food, Grandma, and you want to go a step further and try to recommend a human to another human? I can't. I just can't!"

This all seems like it is out of an episode of Leave it to Beaver. How old are you people? I'm nearing 50 and we never recruited our girlfriends to date our boyfriends' friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Touche. But that doesn't explain why his pal's gf hasn't tried to set him up with her single friends.

But mom has no idea if the pal's gf has or hasn't tried to set him up. She's just assuming so because her son doesn't have a girlfriend. Maybe the girl did try and the son didn't like any of the friends. Maybe the son has is sights on another girl. Maybe the son has in fact hooked up with many of the girl's friends and prefers being a player to being committed. Maybe the son is gay. Maybe the son fears rejection.

There could be a million maybes and jumping to the assumption that your son doesn't have a girlfriend because something is off-putting about him is quite the leap.