If you sense someone doesn't like your child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is her kid like?

I have found that FTM of easy, low-energy children can be judgey about active, more boisterous children.

Agreed. There can be a real lack of compassion and understanding. Some moms are very judgey and ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the pps saying beans are a stupid think to have with 2 year olds, the other kids didn't seem to have the same issue as ops kid.

This seems to boil down to the fact that ops kid needs to be told multiple times not to do something and the other kids don't. Perhaps you can throw in a little bit about op not paying attention or excusing her kids behavior so the other mom has to step in.

Kids like OP's kid can be tiring for parents who have kids who are more calm/whose behavior can be corrected easier.

The other mom doesn't sound mean or wrong, she just seems a bit annoyed.

Op's kid isn't wrong or even that poorly behaved (she's so young!) But OP does seem a bit naive and it's likely her behavior that is annoying the host mom so much!

It could be that Op's kid is 2yrs1mo and the host's kid is 2yers9mo old. It makes a big difference. Also some kids simply mature later than other kids do.

If the other kids in the room were all playing nicely with the bean table and the Op's kid was the only one dumping beans on the floor even after being told "No", then Op should have picked her kid up and taken him out of there. Or the host could have simply put the bean table away and found the kids something else to do....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:? There is a sensory bean bin at my DS's preschool in the two-year-old room. No one dumps the beans on the floor.

I don't get the "host was asking for trouble" comments.

If the host knows that some of the kids coming to her house might go nuts with the beans, then she is asking for trouble. Why not make things easy for herself and the guests coming to her house and not have that as an activity for the two hours they are there. Just be realistic here. If you know a kid is likely to throw the beans or dump the beans, then don't have the beans accesible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the pps saying beans are a stupid think to have with 2 year olds, the other kids didn't seem to have the same issue as ops kid.

This seems to boil down to the fact that ops kid needs to be told multiple times not to do something and the other kids don't. Perhaps you can throw in a little bit about op not paying attention or excusing her kids behavior so the other mom has to step in.

Kids like OP's kid can be tiring for parents who have kids who are more calm/whose behavior can be corrected easier.

The other mom doesn't sound mean or wrong, she just seems a bit annoyed.

Op's kid isn't wrong or even that poorly behaved (she's so young!) But OP does seem a bit naive and it's likely her behavior that is annoying the host mom so much!

It could be that Op's kid is 2yrs1mo and the host's kid is 2yers9mo old. It makes a big difference. Also some kids simply mature later than other kids do.

If the other kids in the room were all playing nicely with the bean table and the Op's kid was the only one dumping beans on the floor even after being told "No", then Op should have picked her kid up and taken him out of there. Or the host could have simply put the bean table away and found the kids something else to do....

The fact that this is an ongoing issue between OP and this other mom and that OP didn't even consider doing anything more than telling her kid "no, don't do that" (i.e. redirect, remove from the situation, etc) tells me that this mom is likely sick of OP not doing anything to curb her kids behavior. Everyone else is getting along fine except OPs kid because OP won't do anything. I wouldn't be inclined to remove something the other kids were enjoying in that circumstance, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her kid like?

I have found that FTM of easy, low-energy children can be judgey about active, more boisterous children.

Agreed. There can be a real lack of compassion and understanding. Some moms are very judgey and ignorant.

eh, we all have our crosses to bear. In a year that quiet, easy going two year old might be the three year old who is too terrified to go on the pumpkin patch rides...while the boisterous, up for anything kid (and his mom) are having a blast.

[Anonymous]

And to those obsessing about the appropriateness of the bean table--beyond the fact that the other kids stopped throwing beans on the floor after being corrected once, this was just one example. The OP's kid then threw a scoop on the floor. And according to OP, the host mom is correcting her child more than other children every time. If all the situations are similar, this is happening because OP's kid doesn't listen the first time. OP's kid doesn't sound out of the range of normal for a two-year-old, but it does sound like OP needs to be a little more proactive about correcting/redirecting her kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the pps saying beans are a stupid think to have with 2 year olds, the other kids didn't seem to have the same issue as ops kid.

This seems to boil down to the fact that ops kid needs to be told multiple times not to do something and the other kids don't. Perhaps you can throw in a little bit about op not paying attention or excusing her kids behavior so the other mom has to step in.

Kids like OP's kid can be tiring for parents who have kids who are more calm/whose behavior can be corrected easier.

The other mom doesn't sound mean or wrong, she just seems a bit annoyed.

Op's kid isn't wrong or even that poorly behaved (she's so young!) But OP does seem a bit naive and it's likely her behavior that is annoying the host mom so much!

It could be that Op's kid is 2yrs1mo and the host's kid is 2yers9mo old. It makes a big difference. Also some kids simply mature later than other kids do.

If the other kids in the room were all playing nicely with the bean table and the Op's kid was the only one dumping beans on the floor even after being told "No", then Op should have picked her kid up and taken him out of there. Or the host could have simply put the bean table away and found the kids something else to do....

The fact that this is an ongoing issue between OP and this other mom and that OP didn't even consider doing anything more than telling her kid "no, don't do that" (i.e. redirect, remove from the situation, etc) tells me that this mom is likely sick of OP not doing anything to curb her kids behavior. Everyone else is getting along fine except OPs kid because OP won't do anything. I wouldn't be inclined to remove something the other kids were enjoying in that circumstance, either.

I don't know how often this has happened. All I can say is that if I put a sand table in the middle of my living room and then get fired up into a tizzy because a 2 year old has gotten sand onto my carpet...the issue is not the 2 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her kid like?

I have found that FTM of easy, low-energy children can be judgey about active, more boisterous children.

Agreed. There can be a real lack of compassion and understanding. Some moms are very judgey and ignorant.

I see that you read forum threads with the same level of attention that you put into raising your child. The host has 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

You need to stay closer to your DD and redirect her more often. Yes, a 2 year old is going to throw things and make a mess, but you need to be behind her cleaning it up and/or redircting, especially at someone else's house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the pps saying beans are a stupid think to have with 2 year olds, the other kids didn't seem to have the same issue as ops kid.

This seems to boil down to the fact that ops kid needs to be told multiple times not to do something and the other kids don't. Perhaps you can throw in a little bit about op not paying attention or excusing her kids behavior so the other mom has to step in.

Kids like OP's kid can be tiring for parents who have kids who are more calm/whose behavior can be corrected easier.

The other mom doesn't sound mean or wrong, she just seems a bit annoyed.

Op's kid isn't wrong or even that poorly behaved (she's so young!) But OP does seem a bit naive and it's likely her behavior that is annoying the host mom so much!

It could be that Op's kid is 2yrs1mo and the host's kid is 2yers9mo old. It makes a big difference. Also some kids simply mature later than other kids do.

If the other kids in the room were all playing nicely with the bean table and the Op's kid was the only one dumping beans on the floor even after being told "No", then Op should have picked her kid up and taken him out of there. Or the host could have simply put the bean table away and found the kids something else to do....

The fact that this is an ongoing issue between OP and this other mom and that OP didn't even consider doing anything more than telling her kid "no, don't do that" (i.e. redirect, remove from the situation, etc) tells me that this mom is likely sick of OP not doing anything to curb her kids behavior. Everyone else is getting along fine except OPs kid because OP won't do anything. I wouldn't be inclined to remove something the other kids were enjoying in that circumstance, either.

I don't know how often this has happened. All I can say is that if I put a sand table in the middle of my living room and then get fired up into a tizzy because a 2 year old has gotten sand onto my carpet...the issue is not the 2 year old.

The host didn't get pissy because the beans got thrown. All the other kids threw the beans and responded when corrected thus the host didn't get aggravated. The host got aggravated because OPs kid KEPT DOING IT then OP didn't step in and actually do anything to stop it.

The host doesn't dislike the kid, they dislike OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the pps saying beans are a stupid think to have with 2 year olds, the other kids didn't seem to have the same issue as ops kid.

This seems to boil down to the fact that ops kid needs to be told multiple times not to do something and the other kids don't. Perhaps you can throw in a little bit about op not paying attention or excusing her kids behavior so the other mom has to step in.

Kids like OP's kid can be tiring for parents who have kids who are more calm/whose behavior can be corrected easier.

The other mom doesn't sound mean or wrong, she just seems a bit annoyed.

Op's kid isn't wrong or even that poorly behaved (she's so young!) But OP does seem a bit naive and it's likely her behavior that is annoying the host mom so much!

It could be that Op's kid is 2yrs1mo and the host's kid is 2yers9mo old. It makes a big difference. Also some kids simply mature later than other kids do.

If the other kids in the room were all playing nicely with the bean table and the Op's kid was the only one dumping beans on the floor even after being told "No", then Op should have picked her kid up and taken him out of there. Or the host could have simply put the bean table away and found the kids something else to do....

The fact that this is an ongoing issue between OP and this other mom and that OP didn't even consider doing anything more than telling her kid "no, don't do that" (i.e. redirect, remove from the situation, etc) tells me that this mom is likely sick of OP not doing anything to curb her kids behavior. Everyone else is getting along fine except OPs kid because OP won't do anything. I wouldn't be inclined to remove something the other kids were enjoying in that circumstance, either.

I don't know how often this has happened. All I can say is that if I put a sand table in the middle of my living room and then get fired up into a tizzy because a 2 year old has gotten sand onto my carpet...the issue is not the 2 year old.

Literally nothing suggests that the host mom is "fired up into a tizzy." OP says that the mom is polite when correcting her child. The worst thing she's accused this mom of is "sort of rolling her eyes." She also offered the beans thing as just an example of the kind of behavior she's talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the pps saying beans are a stupid think to have with 2 year olds, the other kids didn't seem to have the same issue as ops kid.

This seems to boil down to the fact that ops kid needs to be told multiple times not to do something and the other kids don't. Perhaps you can throw in a little bit about op not paying attention or excusing her kids behavior so the other mom has to step in.

Kids like OP's kid can be tiring for parents who have kids who are more calm/whose behavior can be corrected easier.

The other mom doesn't sound mean or wrong, she just seems a bit annoyed.

Op's kid isn't wrong or even that poorly behaved (she's so young!) But OP does seem a bit naive and it's likely her behavior that is annoying the host mom so much!

It could be that Op's kid is 2yrs1mo and the host's kid is 2yers9mo old. It makes a big difference. Also some kids simply mature later than other kids do.

If the other kids in the room were all playing nicely with the bean table and the Op's kid was the only one dumping beans on the floor even after being told "No", then Op should have picked her kid up and taken him out of there. Or the host could have simply put the bean table away and found the kids something else to do....

The fact that this is an ongoing issue between OP and this other mom and that OP didn't even consider doing anything more than telling her kid "no, don't do that" (i.e. redirect, remove from the situation, etc) tells me that this mom is likely sick of OP not doing anything to curb her kids behavior. Everyone else is getting along fine except OPs kid because OP won't do anything. I wouldn't be inclined to remove something the other kids were enjoying in that circumstance, either.

I don't know how often this has happened. All I can say is that if I put a sand table in the middle of my living room and then get fired up into a tizzy because a 2 year old has gotten sand onto my carpet...the issue is not the 2 year old.

The host didn't get pissy because the beans got thrown. All the other kids threw the beans and responded when corrected thus the host didn't get aggravated. The host got aggravated because OPs kid KEPT DOING IT then OP didn't step in and actually do anything to stop it.

The host doesn't dislike the kid, they dislike OP.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the pps saying beans are a stupid think to have with 2 year olds, the other kids didn't seem to have the same issue as ops kid.

This seems to boil down to the fact that ops kid needs to be told multiple times not to do something and the other kids don't. Perhaps you can throw in a little bit about op not paying attention or excusing her kids behavior so the other mom has to step in.

Kids like OP's kid can be tiring for parents who have kids who are more calm/whose behavior can be corrected easier.

The other mom doesn't sound mean or wrong, she just seems a bit annoyed.

Op's kid isn't wrong or even that poorly behaved (she's so young!) But OP does seem a bit naive and it's likely her behavior that is annoying the host mom so much!

It could be that Op's kid is 2yrs1mo and the host's kid is 2yers9mo old. It makes a big difference. Also some kids simply mature later than other kids do.

If the other kids in the room were all playing nicely with the bean table and the Op's kid was the only one dumping beans on the floor even after being told "No", then Op should have picked her kid up and taken him out of there. Or the host could have simply put the bean table away and found the kids something else to do....

The fact that this is an ongoing issue between OP and this other mom and that OP didn't even consider doing anything more than telling her kid "no, don't do that" (i.e. redirect, remove from the situation, etc) tells me that this mom is likely sick of OP not doing anything to curb her kids behavior. Everyone else is getting along fine except OPs kid because OP won't do anything. I wouldn't be inclined to remove something the other kids were enjoying in that circumstance, either.

I don't know how often this has happened. All I can say is that if I put a sand table in the middle of my living room and then get fired up into a tizzy because a 2 year old has gotten sand onto my carpet...the issue is not the 2 year old.

Literally nothing suggests that the host mom is "fired up into a tizzy." OP says that the mom is polite when correcting her child. The worst thing she's accused this mom of is "sort of rolling her eyes." She also offered the beans thing as just an example of the kind of behavior she's talking about.

Op should be stepping in. I agree with you there. But I also think that the host is wrong to *expect* that a 2 year old will play with this bean table in a neat way. It appears to be a brand new thing for Op's kid, Op's kid is having a hard time behaving around it, the host is getting irritated that Op's kid will not stop dumping beans on the floor and is even more irritated that Op is not stepping in and disciplining her child (who obviously isn't listening when it comes to this particular toy anyway)....

Either Op needs pick her kid up and leave. Or the host needs to put that bean table away and find the kids something else to do. One of the two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to stay closer to your DD and redirect her more often. Yes, a 2 year old is going to throw things and make a mess, but you need to be behind her cleaning it up and/or redircting, especially at someone else's house!

+1

It's also ok to just go home. The mom is rolling her eyes at you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP hasn’t said what exactly her dd is doing. Just high energy...

I think it’s great most people are siding with the op. The other mom sounds like she will give her (marshmallow, love it) dd an anxiety disorder. I cannot imagine judging a 2yo! They are 2. They are drunk little monsters!

My oldest was the perfect child. Talked in paragraphs at 18 months. Was quiet and polite. She was also cautious and....slow. She is smart as a whip, read at age 2. But a slow processor. She was sooooo easy to parent.

My youngest is high energy. She runs circles around my oldest. Just so damn quick and into everything and wanting to know why and experimenting and testing boundaries. It’s exhausting.

I remember when my oldest was 22 months she memorized all the planets. So easy...

My youngest just wants to know where the F space is. Where is my space shuttle. Why can’t we jump off the roof? I’m an astronaut!!!! 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 (top of her lungs).

Yeah. It’s different. And not easier. But they are 2! This is how they process the world. No, I don’t let her jump on other people’s couches. Op didn’t say she was either.

Jesus, you people. Was your oldest child a marshmallow with an anxiety disorder? Sucks for her, I guess.

I just like the visual of the perfect 2yo siting like a marshmallow. It’s silly. My oldest has been every teacher’s dream. More then one has commented on cloning her or having a whole class of her. My point was easy (low energy) kids are easy to like.

The teachers didn't like your kid. They found her convenient to deal with and liked the convenience.

Plenty of active kids are loved by their caregivers. None of them are ill-bred monsters. Again, you're confusing temperament and behavior, because it's convenient to tell yourself your child is "high energy" rather than "rude" or "violent" or "prone to conflict."