If you sense someone doesn't like your child

[Anonymous]

I have noticed that one mother isn't as nice or forgiving of my two-year-old as she seems to be of the others. We get together at her house every week for a little informal playgroup and the mother, while polite enough, seems to treat my DD a little more critically than the other kids. My DD is very, very high energy and gets excited being at this house.

It makes me feel bad. However I am never sure if what I feel is real or not. Maybe I am just imagining it.

What - if anything - should I do about it?

[Anonymous]

Your instinct is probably right. People get frustrated/tired with very, very high energy children - completey normal! As long as she's polite and holding it together as best she can. What would you say? "You treat the other two year olds better than mine?" Always work on building good manners, good behavior with your child (as best you can with a two year old).

[Anonymous]

Maybe she interprets "high energy" as "ill mannered."

I'm not saying it's your case, OP, but there is a fine line. My fiend's son is a "high energy boy" in her eyes, but to everyone else around her, he's a 2-year old terror. I definitely have to watch him like a hawk when they are over because he's so prone to getting into trouble/needing to be told no 10 times for it to stick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she interprets "high energy" as "ill mannered."

I'm not saying it's your case, OP, but there is a fine line. My fiend's son is a "high energy boy" in her eyes, but to everyone else around her, he's a 2-year old terror. I definitely have to watch him like a hawk when they are over because he's so prone to getting into trouble/needing to be told no 10 times for it to stick.

Agreed. My best friends kid is very high energy. I'm around them enough that she listens to me a little bit better and she's a bit more calm. But they have definitely had some issues in playdates where my friend and her DD have struggled a bit because the high energy is interpreted as Ill mannered and difficult.

[Anonymous]

What is her kid like?

I have found that FTM of easy, low-energy children can be judgey about active, more boisterous children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is her kid like?

I have found that FTM of easy, low-energy children can be judgey about active, more boisterous children.

OP here. We are all first time moms except the host mom. She is older and has two older boys.

[Anonymous]

If she's being polite, then there is nothing you can do about it. A lot of "high-energy" kids are, or are seen as, poorly behaved--playing too rough, not listening, etc. And if a parent has a chiller kid, they are just not used to dealing with it in their home. And--and I'm not saying this is you--some parents of high-energy kids aren't on top of things. It's possible that she's correcting your kid more often because your kid needs more correction. You say that she's being polite and not being mean or unkind. So you work on teaching your kid to behave appropriately, and you accept that not everyone will like your kid--which, frankly, every parent has to accept.

[Anonymous]

So what. Not everyone is going to like your kid. I'm not crazy about one of my best friend's kids, though the other one is fantastic. People have different personalities.

[Anonymous]

It isn't uncommon for a grandparent (or a parent, really) to hold their own child to a different standard than other children.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. It's probably true. I bet her her own child is calmer and lower energy and she interprets this as an issue of parenting. This happened with my SILs (one had quiet child, one had loud child) where one thought that temperament could be completely controlled through parenting. Fortunately that SIL then had a really rowdy second child!

In your situation I would either stay the course and try to be on top of your child more when you are there, or find a different play group or outlet for your kids energy and socializing needs. It sucks, but it won't be the last time you encounter this type of parent unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Parents of high-energy kids are more tolerant of what, to others, is not acceptable. For instance, jumping on couches. And those people get tired of doing the disciplining they think the parents of high-energy kids should be doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's being polite, then there is nothing you can do about it. A lot of "high-energy" kids are, or are seen as, poorly behaved--playing too rough, not listening, etc. And if a parent has a chiller kid, they are just not used to dealing with it in their home. And--and I'm not saying this is you--some parents of high-energy kids aren't on top of things. It's possible that she's correcting your kid more often because your kid needs more correction. You say that she's being polite and not being mean or unkind. So you work on teaching your kid to behave appropriately, and you accept that not everyone will like your kid--which, frankly, every parent has to accept.

100% this. Youve got to be careful you don't become the mom who excuses your kid's behavior as "high energy" and anyone who doesn't particularly like it isn't nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she's being polite, then there is nothing you can do about it. A lot of "high-energy" kids are, or are seen as, poorly behaved--playing too rough, not listening, etc. And if a parent has a chiller kid, they are just not used to dealing with it in their home. And--and I'm not saying this is you--some parents of high-energy kids aren't on top of things. It's possible that she's correcting your kid more often because your kid needs more correction. You say that she's being polite and not being mean or unkind. So you work on teaching your kid to behave appropriately, and you accept that not everyone will like your kid--which, frankly, every parent has to accept.

100% this. Youve got to be careful you don't become the mom who excuses your kid's behavior as "high energy" and anyone who doesn't particularly like it isn't nice.

Agree. My DD is high energy so I have to be all over her to keep her under control. It'd be too easy to kick back and let her raise hell while dismissing it as her being "high energy" but I don't want her to be that kid that no one likes because she raises a ruckus wherever we go. There is a time and a place to let her hulk out to her heart's content but another person's home isn't it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. It's probably true. I bet her her own child is calmer and lower energy and she interprets this as an issue of parenting. This happened with my SILs (one had quiet child, one had loud child) where one thought that temperament could be completely controlled through parenting. Fortunately that SIL then had a really rowdy second child!

In your situation I would either stay the course and try to be on top of your child more when you are there, or find a different play group or outlet for your kids energy and socializing needs. It sucks, but it won't be the last time you encounter this type of parent unfortunately.

OP said that this mom has two older boys, so I'd be surprised if this is the problem. If she's got two boys, she's almost certainly seen rowdy behavior before, and at the very least, knows that kids have different personalities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. It's probably true. I bet her her own child is calmer and lower energy and she interprets this as an issue of parenting. This happened with my SILs (one had quiet child, one had loud child) where one thought that temperament could be completely controlled through parenting. Fortunately that SIL then had a really rowdy second child!

In your situation I would either stay the course and try to be on top of your child more when you are there, or find a different play group or outlet for your kids energy and socializing needs. It sucks, but it won't be the last time you encounter this type of parent unfortunately.

OP said that this mom has two older boys, so I'd be surprised if this is the problem. If she's got two boys, she's almost certainly seen rowdy behavior before, and at the very least, knows that kids have different personalities.

Op actually never said how the host’s kid acts.