If you sense someone doesn't like your child

[Anonymous]

Do you know for a fact she's treating him more critically? Examples of her behavior?

She might just have a different style of reacting to high-energy kids. it doesn't mean she doesn't like him, or is necessarily critical.

[Anonymous]

I have a 2 year old DS that is super "high-energy". When he is excited, he will run everywhere, climb on furniture, touch everything, play rough. I think a lot of time, "high-energy" is interpreted as "naughty & poorly behaved". I have to keep an eye on him when he is hyperactive, and especially when we are around calm & quiet kids, don't want to be the odd/standout one. But when we are in bouncing house & indoor gym, I let him exhausting all his high energy all he wants.

But as a mom, I know that he can be a sweetheart, and he can sit at circle time for an hour, read books quietly, sharing and go on. I just have to make sure to find ways to release his high energy everyday in certain ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. It's probably true. I bet her her own child is calmer and lower energy and she interprets this as an issue of parenting. This happened with my SILs (one had quiet child, one had loud child) where one thought that temperament could be completely controlled through parenting. Fortunately that SIL then had a really rowdy second child!

In your situation I would either stay the course and try to be on top of your child more when you are there, or find a different play group or outlet for your kids energy and socializing needs. It sucks, but it won't be the last time you encounter this type of parent unfortunately.

OP said that this mom has two older boys, so I'd be surprised if this is the problem. If she's got two boys, she's almost certainly seen rowdy behavior before, and at the very least, knows that kids have different personalities.

Op actually never said how the host’s kid acts.

OP here. The host's DD is calm and sweet. She also talks very well so doesn't have the same frustrations as my DD. I have never spent a lot of time with her four and seven year old kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. It's probably true. I bet her her own child is calmer and lower energy and she interprets this as an issue of parenting. This happened with my SILs (one had quiet child, one had loud child) where one thought that temperament could be completely controlled through parenting. Fortunately that SIL then had a really rowdy second child!

In your situation I would either stay the course and try to be on top of your child more when you are there, or find a different play group or outlet for your kids energy and socializing needs. It sucks, but it won't be the last time you encounter this type of parent unfortunately.

OP said that this mom has two older boys, so I'd be surprised if this is the problem. If she's got two boys, she's almost certainly seen rowdy behavior before, and at the very least, knows that kids have different personalities.

Op actually never said how the host’s kid acts.

OP here. The host's DD is calm and sweet. She also talks very well so doesn't have the same frustrations as my DD. I have never spent a lot of time with her four and seven year old kids.

Well then this is probably the problem. She is on her high horse and thinks you just don’t know how to parent.

I’ll take high energy over calm and sweet anyday. Her kid is an “internalizer” and will probably develop anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. It's probably true. I bet her her own child is calmer and lower energy and she interprets this as an issue of parenting. This happened with my SILs (one had quiet child, one had loud child) where one thought that temperament could be completely controlled through parenting. Fortunately that SIL then had a really rowdy second child!

In your situation I would either stay the course and try to be on top of your child more when you are there, or find a different play group or outlet for your kids energy and socializing needs. It sucks, but it won't be the last time you encounter this type of parent unfortunately.

OP said that this mom has two older boys, so I'd be surprised if this is the problem. If she's got two boys, she's almost certainly seen rowdy behavior before, and at the very least, knows that kids have different personalities.

Op actually never said how the host’s kid acts.

OP here. The host's DD is calm and sweet. She also talks very well so doesn't have the same frustrations as my DD. I have never spent a lot of time with her four and seven year old kids.

Well then this is probably the problem. She is on her high horse and thinks you just don’t know how to parent.

I’ll take high energy over calm and sweet anyday. Her kid is an “internalizer” and will probably develop anxiety.

Oh, geez... now I have truly heard it all!

Yes, Dear, all the other kids are going to have deep psychological issues. It is never you or your child with the problems.

[Anonymous]

Well then this is probably the problem. She is on her high horse and thinks you just don’t know how to parent.

I’ll take high energy over calm and sweet anyday. Her kid is an “internalizer” and will probably develop anxiety.

Yup, your high energy kid is a perfect angel, and anyone who doesn't see it that way is on her high horse.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend with a kid I don't like very much. He is not much younger than mine but a lot more immature, and he is a tattle tale. Always coming up to me telling me something DD is doing. I also find I have to intervene a lot when he is here forvplaydates, when DD had different friends over I don't

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't care. Plus, your kid sounds out of control TO HER. Notice I wrote to her? People are different, some have a high threshold and some are more high strung and have a low threshold. Why take him to her house in any case if you can see that she can't handle your kid well? I know plenty of parents who go on and on about how their kids were high energy, and then they meet my kids! You realize it is like people who claim they are fine with dogs and want to pet my high energy golden, and I say no, you don't, trust me, and they still say, no it's fine, and I say, no he is fine as long as you ignore him and don't show affection and excitement.....And they are stubborn fools, so voila I say fine, and he gets into excited frenzy at their feet and jumps, because, hey they gave him permission, and then they start being all startled and clearly have no idea what a high energy golden acts like, with all of his 65-70lbs. So, same with my kids, people don't have a clue. So realize that her high energy and your are two different things, that maybe to her your kid is out of control and to me he might be a "low energy"as our POTUS might say. Avoid that playdate, and have a great time at a trampoline gym instead. Anyway, I'd take high energy kid over a marshmallow kid any day.

[Anonymous]

I suspect that OP's kid is acting in a way that a lot of people would consider disruptive and unpleasant and inappropriate. What you do with your "high-energy" kid in your house is your business, but in my house you should have that nonsense under control.

-Person who has had a few too many run ins with "high-energy" kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't care. Plus, your kid sounds out of control TO HER. Notice I wrote to her? People are different, some have a high threshold and some are more high strung and have a low threshold. Why take him to her house in any case if you can see that she can't handle your kid well? I know plenty of parents who go on and on about how their kids were high energy, and then they meet my kids! You realize it is like people who claim they are fine with dogs and want to pet my high energy golden, and I say no, you don't, trust me, and they still say, no it's fine, and I say, no he is fine as long as you ignore him and don't show affection and excitement.....And they are stubborn fools, so voila I say fine, and he gets into excited frenzy at their feet and jumps, because, hey they gave him permission, and then they start being all startled and clearly have no idea what a high energy golden acts like, with all of his 65-70lbs. So, same with my kids, people don't have a clue. So realize that her high energy and your are two different things, that maybe to her your kid is out of control and to me he might be a "low energy"as our POTUS might say. Avoid that playdate, and have a great time at a trampoline gym instead. Anyway, I'd take high energy kid over a marshmallow kid any day.

Marshmallow kid? That is so hurtful. I have a quiet, studious little guy who loves books. He is not a marshmallow.

[Anonymous]

Interesting that those who have recently replied didn’t read the original post correctly and are incorrectly assuming OP’s child is a boy.

[Anonymous]

"High energy" and "spirited" can be misused to describe ill-mannered kids who don't have appropriate boundaries at home. Not always.

As to OP's question, no one likes everyone. It's hard to see your child be excited to go someplace where you feel your child isn't being fully accepted.

Here I'd say just focus on the fact that your child IS happy to go there (that's what's truly important), and that the other parent is being polite. That's all you can really ask.

[Anonymous]

Lots of defensive parents of "high energy" kids out there. They feel so threatened by the good behavior of other kids now those kids are being labeled "low energy". Give me a break.

We know who you are. When your kid is wild or rude, that's not energy.

[Anonymous]

A few things:
1) Since she isn't a FTM, she's probably a bit more used to correcting other people's children. Less tip-toe-ing.
2) If you have a high energy child, she might correct a little sooner than she would with another child, before things get out of hand and harder to correct.

I will admit, I know I have a shorter fuse with a couple kids among our friends, and it's precisely because of #2. I'm much more likely to give them a hard no about something earlier, because I know how hard they will resist it. And I might be stricter about certain activities that are more likely to lead to disaster with a kid who is generally more in control of themselves.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's your DD's behavior she doesn't like, not your DD. And maybe she doesn't think you're doing enough to rein her in.

You haven't given us enough information about how your DD behaves compared to other kids, and how you try to manage it, given that you are the guest in someone else's house.