If you sense someone doesn't like your child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't care. Plus, your kid sounds out of control TO HER. Notice I wrote to her? People are different, some have a high threshold and some are more high strung and have a low threshold. Why take him to her house in any case if you can see that she can't handle your kid well? I know plenty of parents who go on and on about how their kids were high energy, and then they meet my kids! You realize it is like people who claim they are fine with dogs and want to pet my high energy golden, and I say no, you don't, trust me, and they still say, no it's fine, and I say, no he is fine as long as you ignore him and don't show affection and excitement.....And they are stubborn fools, so voila I say fine, and he gets into excited frenzy at their feet and jumps, because, hey they gave him permission, and then they start being all startled and clearly have no idea what a high energy golden acts like, with all of his 65-70lbs. So, same with my kids, people don't have a clue. So realize that her high energy and your are two different things, that maybe to her your kid is out of control and to me he might be a "low energy"as our POTUS might say. Avoid that playdate, and have a great time at a trampoline gym instead. Anyway, I'd take high energy kid over a marshmallow kid any day.

Marshmallow kid? That is so hurtful. I have a quiet, studious little guy who loves books. He is not a marshmallow.

Yeah, I'm glad you all love your "high-energy" kids, but insulting other kids is a pretty terrible way to demonstrate it. Honestly, when someone feels the need to do this, I figure their kid is a holy terror and they're making excuses for it. Because normal parents don't feel the need to put down other little kids.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Examples:

- There is a bin of dried beans with scoops and trucks in it. DD takes the beans in her hands and drops them on the floor. Host or I will tell her that the beans stay in the bin. DD does it again. Same correction. DD does it again. The other kids also did it but stopped after the first time they were corrected.

- DD took a scoop from another bin and threw it on the floor. The host asked her to please pick it up and put it back. DD didn't understand what she was asking her to do and the host sort of rolled her eyes.

These are two examples from two days ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Examples:

- There is a bin of dried beans with scoops and trucks in it. DD takes the beans in her hands and drops them on the floor. Host or I will tell her that the beans stay in the bin. DD does it again. Same correction. DD does it again. The other kids also did it but stopped after the first time they were corrected.

- DD took a scoop from another bin and threw it on the floor. The host asked her to please pick it up and put it back. DD didn't understand what she was asking her to do and the host sort of rolled her eyes.

These are two examples from two days ago.

OP again. I should also add that DD was so excited and happy - nothing was done maliciously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Examples:

- There is a bin of dried beans with scoops and trucks in it. DD takes the beans in her hands and drops them on the floor. Host or I will tell her that the beans stay in the bin. DD does it again. Same correction. DD does it again. The other kids also did it but stopped after the first time they were corrected.

- DD took a scoop from another bin and threw it on the floor. The host asked her to please pick it up and put it back. DD didn't understand what she was asking her to do and the host sort of rolled her eyes.

These are two examples from two days ago.

That’s not high energy. That’s disobedience. You are clueless about your child’s actual behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Examples:

- There is a bin of dried beans with scoops and trucks in it. DD takes the beans in her hands and drops them on the floor. Host or I will tell her that the beans stay in the bin. DD does it again. Same correction. DD does it again. The other kids also did it but stopped after the first time they were corrected.

- DD took a scoop from another bin and threw it on the floor. The host asked her to please pick it up and put it back. DD didn't understand what she was asking her to do and the host sort of rolled her eyes.

These are two examples from two days ago.

That’s not high energy. That’s disobedience. You are clueless about your child’s actual behavior.

Yeah, high energy would be having a hard time sitting still for a story, or wanting to run around rather than sit and build a block tower. Repeatedly dumping stuff on the floor after being told not to, and then throwing a toy, is just straight-up misbehavior. No one would have to correct my kid THREE TIMES for the same thing--I'd be stepping in and moving her away from the bin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Examples:

- There is a bin of dried beans with scoops and trucks in it. DD takes the beans in her hands and drops them on the floor. Host or I will tell her that the beans stay in the bin. DD does it again. Same correction. DD does it again. The other kids also did it but stopped after the first time they were corrected.

- DD took a scoop from another bin and threw it on the floor. The host asked her to please pick it up and put it back. DD didn't understand what she was asking her to do and the host sort of rolled her eyes.

These are two examples from two days ago.

That’s not high energy. That’s disobedience. You are clueless about your child’s actual behavior.

My goodness, it is amazing what anonymity can do. I had to really check myself when it came to DCUM v. Actual life when my son was younger. People on here, very critically, start saying a child should have it all figured out by 1.5 or 2. I remember when mine was 2, and reading this type of stuff on here and then looking at my son’s contemporaries and thinking “none of them are even CLOSE to that.” The child OP is talking about is TWO. As in, was recently ONE. The behavior she is citing is annoying because many many 2 year olds are annoying. But it is utterly normal. Getting worked up into a lather like PP about the child’s “disobedience” is absurd.

That said, OP, maybe be more hands on with that stuff. The host may have been stifling her eye roll at YOU because you weren’t intervening. I hate having to discipline a child when their out to lunch parent is sitting right there.

Also, my now energetic, mischievous boy was a “marshmallow” angel when he was 2. They change quick so no one should go counting their chickens just yet.

[Anonymous]

What kind of host puts a bin of beans in the playroom for 2 year olds to play neatly with?

I would totally expect a 2 year old to drop beans on the floor. Duh. But I can see how the host can't take the toy away because her own kid is playing neatly with it (probably because the bin of beans is no a brand new thing for that kid).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Examples:

- There is a bin of dried beans with scoops and trucks in it. DD takes the beans in her hands and drops them on the floor. Host or I will tell her that the beans stay in the bin. DD does it again. Same correction. DD does it again. The other kids also did it but stopped after the first time they were corrected.

- DD took a scoop from another bin and threw it on the floor. The host asked her to please pick it up and put it back. DD didn't understand what she was asking her to do and the host sort of rolled her eyes.

These are two examples from two days ago.

The problem isn't your kid, OP. Those examples aren't out of the realm of normal for a 2 year old. (They don't call it terrible twos for nothing...)

But what is out of the realm of normal is your response. The HOST shouldn't be the one correcting your DD or asking her to put things back. YOU should be all over your daughter in those situations. Beans land on the floor, YOU get on the ground with your DD and help her clean it up and tell her that the beans stay in the floor. She does it again? YOU remove her from the beans for a little while.

My guess is the host wasn't rolling her eyes at your DD for not understanding, she was rolling her eyes at you for not being the one to deal with your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's being polite, then there is nothing you can do about it. A lot of "high-energy" kids are, or are seen as, poorly behaved--playing too rough, not listening, etc. And if a parent has a chiller kid, they are just not used to dealing with it in their home. And--and I'm not saying this is you--some parents of high-energy kids aren't on top of things. It's possible that she's correcting your kid more often because your kid needs more correction. You say that she's being polite and not being mean or unkind. So you work on teaching your kid to behave appropriately, and you accept that not everyone will like your kid--which, frankly, every parent has to accept.

This. Occam's Razor at its finest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2 year old DS that is super "high-energy". When he is excited, he will run everywhere, climb on furniture, touch everything, play rough. I think a lot of time, "high-energy" is interpreted as "naughty & poorly behaved". I have to keep an eye on him when he is hyperactive, and especially when we are around calm & quiet kids, don't want to be the odd/standout one. But when we are in bouncing house & indoor gym, I let him exhausting all his high energy all he wants.

But as a mom, I know that he can be a sweetheart, and he can sit at circle time for an hour, read books quietly, sharing and go on. I just have to make sure to find ways to release his high energy everyday in certain ways.

JFC. People are not "interpreting" this as poor behavior, it *actually is* poor behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Examples:

- There is a bin of dried beans with scoops and trucks in it. DD takes the beans in her hands and drops them on the floor. Host or I will tell her that the beans stay in the bin. DD does it again. Same correction. DD does it again. The other kids also did it but stopped after the first time they were corrected.

- DD took a scoop from another bin and threw it on the floor. The host asked her to please pick it up and put it back. DD didn't understand what she was asking her to do and the host sort of rolled her eyes.

These are two examples from two days ago.

That’s not high energy. That’s disobedience. You are clueless about your child’s actual behavior.

My goodness, it is amazing what anonymity can do. I had to really check myself when it came to DCUM v. Actual life when my son was younger. People on here, very critically, start saying a child should have it all figured out by 1.5 or 2. I remember when mine was 2, and reading this type of stuff on here and then looking at my son’s contemporaries and thinking “none of them are even CLOSE to that.” The child OP is talking about is TWO. As in, was recently ONE. The behavior she is citing is annoying because many many 2 year olds are annoying. But it is utterly normal. Getting worked up into a lather like PP about the child’s “disobedience” is absurd.

That said, OP, maybe be more hands on with that stuff. The host may have been stifling her eye roll at YOU because you weren’t intervening. I hate having to discipline a child when their out to lunch parent is sitting right there.

Also, my now energetic, mischievous boy was a “marshmallow” angel when he was 2. They change quick so no one should go counting their chickens just yet.

No one is "worked up into a lather." The behavior OP describes is pretty normal for two-year-olds, but it's still misbehavior and needs to be corrected so kids can learn. I'd be annoyed if I were a host and a kid did something repeatedly after I told her not to, and her mother didn't do anything. Or a kid threw a toy, I asked her to pick it up, she didn't, and her mom just sat there. And then blamed it on her kid being "high energy" and complained that I didn't like her kid.

[Anonymous]

I'll bet that host hates to host play dates so she makes them as nerve wracking as possible for the other parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Examples:

- There is a bin of dried beans with scoops and trucks in it. DD takes the beans in her hands and drops them on the floor. Host or I will tell her that the beans stay in the bin. DD does it again. Same correction. DD does it again. The other kids also did it but stopped after the first time they were corrected.

- DD took a scoop from another bin and threw it on the floor. The host asked her to please pick it up and put it back. DD didn't understand what she was asking her to do and the host sort of rolled her eyes.

These are two examples from two days ago.

That’s not high energy. That’s disobedience. You are clueless about your child’s actual behavior.

My goodness, it is amazing what anonymity can do. I had to really check myself when it came to DCUM v. Actual life when my son was younger. People on here, very critically, start saying a child should have it all figured out by 1.5 or 2. I remember when mine was 2, and reading this type of stuff on here and then looking at my son’s contemporaries and thinking “none of them are even CLOSE to that.” The child OP is talking about is TWO. As in, was recently ONE. The behavior she is citing is annoying because many many 2 year olds are annoying. But it is utterly normal. Getting worked up into a lather like PP about the child’s “disobedience” is absurd.

That said, OP, maybe be more hands on with that stuff. The host may have been stifling her eye roll at YOU because you weren’t intervening. I hate having to discipline a child when their out to lunch parent is sitting right there.

Also, my now energetic, mischievous boy was a “marshmallow” angel when he was 2. They change quick so no one should go counting their chickens just yet.

No one is "worked up into a lather." The behavior OP describes is pretty normal for two-year-olds, but it's still misbehavior and needs to be corrected so kids can learn. I'd be annoyed if I were a host and a kid did something repeatedly after I told her not to, and her mother didn't do anything. Or a kid threw a toy, I asked her to pick it up, she didn't, and her mom just sat there. And then blamed it on her kid being "high energy" and complained that I didn't like her kid.

A bean table is a dumb toy to have out for a bunch of 2 year olds. It would be like giving them each a jar of grape jelly to play "neatly" with. Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't care. Plus, your kid sounds out of control TO HER. Notice I wrote to her? People are different, some have a high threshold and some are more high strung and have a low threshold. Why take him to her house in any case if you can see that she can't handle your kid well? I know plenty of parents who go on and on about how their kids were high energy, and then they meet my kids! You realize it is like people who claim they are fine with dogs and want to pet my high energy golden, and I say no, you don't, trust me, and they still say, no it's fine, and I say, no he is fine as long as you ignore him and don't show affection and excitement.....And they are stubborn fools, so voila I say fine, and he gets into excited frenzy at their feet and jumps, because, hey they gave him permission, and then they start being all startled and clearly have no idea what a high energy golden acts like, with all of his 65-70lbs. So, same with my kids, people don't have a clue. So realize that her high energy and your are two different things, that maybe to her your kid is out of control and to me he might be a "low energy"as our POTUS might say. Avoid that playdate, and have a great time at a trampoline gym instead. Anyway, I'd take high energy kid over a marshmallow kid any day.

Marshmallow kid? That is so hurtful. I have a quiet, studious little guy who loves books. He is not a marshmallow.

Yeah, I'm glad you all love your "high-energy" kids, but insulting other kids is a pretty terrible way to demonstrate it. Honestly, when someone feels the need to do this, I figure their kid is a holy terror and they're making excuses for it. Because normal parents don't feel the need to put down other little kids.

Whatever, snow flake parents. I like active kids because I am really active and so is DH. But, everything is an insult to people who are sedentary and have nothing better to do. Plus, you just insulted me, so way to go, no take the higher road for you, but there should be one for me? Hypocrites. To each their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Examples:

- There is a bin of dried beans with scoops and trucks in it. DD takes the beans in her hands and drops them on the floor. Host or I will tell her that the beans stay in the bin. DD does it again. Same correction. DD does it again. The other kids also did it but stopped after the first time they were corrected.

- DD took a scoop from another bin and threw it on the floor. The host asked her to please pick it up and put it back. DD didn't understand what she was asking her to do and the host sort of rolled her eyes.

These are two examples from two days ago.

The problem isn't your kid, OP. Those examples aren't out of the realm of normal for a 2 year old. (They don't call it terrible twos for nothing...)

But what is out of the realm of normal is your response. The HOST shouldn't be the one correcting your DD or asking her to put things back. YOU should be all over your daughter in those situations. Beans land on the floor, YOU get on the ground with your DD and help her clean it up and tell her that the beans stay in the floor. She does it again? YOU remove her from the beans for a little while.

My guess is the host wasn't rolling her eyes at your DD for not understanding, she was rolling her eyes at you for not being the one to deal with your daughter.

1000 times this.