Married Women: How do you feel when men flirt with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh, hand on the knee isn't flirting. That's groping.

Only in America would someone say something that stupid. This only place on earth where normal human behavior is some crisis. It's no wonder so many women that come here think 80% of men are gay.

That you think it's OK to reach out and physically touch someone's body without their permission makes me think you're likely an assaulter. It's NOT OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's hard to tell what is flirting and what is just a guy being nice.

I've had to see an ENT recently for a health issue; he's very attractive. He always tells me I look great and makes intense eye contact. It almost seems flirty but I think it's just him being friendly. I think it's easy to confuse the two.

Sounds like you were probably the one flirting.

How does this sound like she was the one flirting?

[Anonymous]

It's flattering. Do I act on it, no. It's nice to know that you are still attractive!

[Anonymous]

I love to flirt. Love light flirting between men and women. Yes it is nice to know I'm attractive!

[Anonymous]

"

Also be honest: there are plenty of "nice guys" who have the idea - perhaps not even consciously - that "if I'm a nice guy she'll see I'm not a jerk like all the other guys and she'll want to sleep with me".

If you were old, fat or ugly, he probably wouldn't be nice to you. You'd be invisible."

There are many nice guys who are just nice without being flirty.

I have worked with plenty of tall and handsome guys(I had to include tall because I like tall men) who have been very nice, and I am overweight and ugly.

I have had coworkers compliment my suit, my hairstyle etc without being creepy about it. "Nice haircut", "you look very nice today" etc. I have had nice male coworkers pay for my lunch without being creepy or flirty about it.

Flirting is different from being nice.

For example, there was a party at work where a few guys said to me: "That is a very pretty dress, Lila!" It was a long dress, touching the floor, the only body parts exposed were arms and shoulders(tiny boob girl here so no cleavage). It was a very nice dress because, and women were giving compliments too.

I thanked them and went on my merry way, happy my money was well spent. These guys were just being nice. The dress was pretty and so they complimented it. There was nothing sexual about it.

Then I got on the elevator, and this man(a partner who probably had a very good looking wife at home) stared me up and down like a piece of meat and then said: "that dress looks very sexy on you" with his eyes scanning me from head to toe, side to side. He was staring for much longer than he should have been.

It was just the two of us in the elevator, and I almost vanished. That elevator encounter is flirting, and it is creepy. I was happily married(still am) and there to work. Freaking asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh, hand on the knee isn't flirting. That's groping.

Only in America would someone say something that stupid. This only place on earth where normal human behavior is some crisis. It's no wonder so many women that come here think 80% of men are gay.

That you think it's OK to reach out and physically touch someone's body without their permission makes me think you're likely an assaulter. It's NOT OK.

Without permission? They are friends. They flirt. And obviously if the woman has a "crush" on this man and she did not seem to mind...what is this talk about permission? We are not talking about a complete stranger. Per the story they have been friends for eight years.

[Anonymous]

It's a little flattering to a degree but, don't take it too far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"

Also be honest: there are plenty of "nice guys" who have the idea - perhaps not even consciously - that "if I'm a nice guy she'll see I'm not a jerk like all the other guys and she'll want to sleep with me".

If you were old, fat or ugly, he probably wouldn't be nice to you. You'd be invisible."

There are many nice guys who are just nice without being flirty.

I have worked with plenty of tall and handsome guys(I had to include tall because I like tall men) who have been very nice, and I am overweight and ugly.

I have had coworkers compliment my suit, my hairstyle etc without being creepy about it. "Nice haircut", "you look very nice today" etc. I have had nice male coworkers pay for my lunch without being creepy or flirty about it.

Flirting is different from being nice.

For example, there was a party at work where a few guys said to me: "That is a very pretty dress, Lila!" It was a long dress, touching the floor, the only body parts exposed were arms and shoulders(tiny boob girl here so no cleavage). It was a very nice dress because, and women were giving compliments too.

I thanked them and went on my merry way, happy my money was well spent. These guys were just being nice. The dress was pretty and so they complimented it. There was nothing sexual about it.

Then I got on the elevator, and this man(a partner who probably had a very good looking wife at home) stared me up and down like a piece of meat and then said: "that dress looks very sexy on you" with his eyes scanning me from head to toe, side to side. He was staring for much longer than he should have been.

It was just the two of us in the elevator, and I almost vanished. That elevator encounter is flirting, and it is creepy. I was happily married(still am) and there to work. Freaking asshole.

The guy's behavior in the elevator wasn't flirting. He was being a pig. FWIW - I'm a male.

[Anonymous]

The first time I introduced my husband to a good male friend of mine (whom I have a crush on - yes people who are happily married do find other people attractive) I accidentally introduced him and said "Hi, this is Adam. He's the nicest and sweetest guy I know!".

My husband AND my friend both looked at me like..."what did you just say?" My friend was smart enough to laugh it off and pat my husband on the back and said "I'm sure he's pretty nice as well!" and they laughed it off. Though, my husband did give me a stare for a few seconds. Ha ha!

[Anonymous]

Different quotes:

"That's a great looking dress" - that's a compliment about the dress

"That dress looks really good on you" - that's flirting because its about you and the dress

"That dress looks really sexy on you" - that's being a pig because he's thinking about what's underneath the dress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Different quotes:

"That's a great looking dress" - that's a compliment about the dress

"That dress looks really good on you" - that's flirting because its about you and the dress

"That dress looks really sexy on you" - that's being a pig because he's thinking about what's underneath the dress.

Well, o.k. But you do know that when he says "that's a great looking dress," he's still thinking about having sex with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy (happily married Dad) posting. I may be confused. If I tell a woman I like her earrings, is that flirting? Does it matter if she is working the Checkout at my local bagel place, versus she is a parent of one of my kids’ classmates, versus someone who works in my building? I always thought I was just being friendly, but maybe you’re telling me I’m flirting without realizing it (or at least you think I’m flirting). If I tell you I like your earrings, it’s because I like them, not because I want to make out with you.

People can tell the difference between flirting and being kind. There is a gray area, and that is uncomfortably ignored. You can tell how you were perceived by her response; flirts back, says thank you, Dh got them for me, or ignores you/walks away.

As for "If I tell a woman I like her earrings, is that flirting?" The answer depends on whether or not you were flirting, right?

[Anonymous]

If they are a stranger and we're interacting in a natural way ie coffee barista or ticket sales guy or something and we get some flirty banter going then that is flattering and fun.

If I know them then I am immediately uncomfortable as it is less fun and seems more like...dangerous is the wrong word because I'm not tempted to cheat or anything but it feels more disrespectful of the marriage.

Basically casual fun flirtation with someone who is socially normal and charming is fun but anything that verges into 'could be taken seriously' territory changes things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Different quotes:

"That's a great looking dress" - that's a compliment about the dress

"That dress looks really good on you" - that's flirting because its about you and the dress

"That dress looks really sexy on you" - that's being a pig because he's thinking about what's underneath the dress.

Well, o.k. But you do know that when he says "that's a great looking dress," he's still thinking about having sex with you.

Newsflash- if you're pretty every single man you encounter every single day is thinking about having sex with you. It doesn't mean we'll try to, but we sure will think about you naked and moaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Different quotes:

"That's a great looking dress" - that's a compliment about the dress

"That dress looks really good on you" - that's flirting because its about you and the dress

"That dress looks really sexy on you" - that's being a pig because he's thinking about what's underneath the dress.

Well, o.k. But you do know that when he says "that's a great looking dress," he's still thinking about having sex with you.

Newsflash- if you're pretty every single man you encounter every single day is thinking about having sex with you. It doesn't mean we'll try to, but we sure will think about you naked and moaning.

You're FOS and incredibly immature. As to the latter, admiring a woman's appearance while lacking the ability to abstain from mentally undressing and assaulting her qualifies you for more than a statement of immaturity so consider my assessment as kind.

I am a man.