Are east coast/DC/NYC guys just less "manly"??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh looks like I have to add that we had money, took great vacations, were in private school and went to Stanford. Dad ran startup so liked to balance cerebral software with tangible building and fixing stuff (boats, sports cars, softball league 45 yrs, racquetsports year round, scuba, house and yard building).

Could chalk it up to midwestern or German DIY pride and values?

Maybe, but it sounds like an engineering thing to me - engineers want a workshop at home and a lab with lasers at the office.

Signed, another with an engineering Dad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seattle men are not manly. Maybe they were back in the lumberjack era, or out in Western Washington, but not anywhere near modern Seattle. Seattle is soft Latté Liberal Central.

Part of it is the climate. It's so mild and gentle. When it rains, it comes down like a mist. There is almost no lightning, and it never gets extremely hot or cold. It makes you soft.

Also, Seattle is not very diverse. It's 99.999% White and Asian, which makes it easy to have untested liberal theories without having to deal with gritty reality. Vermont is the same way.

Yes, and Portland. The least masculine men I have ever had to deal with. They are laughably unmasculine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is mostly a generational thing. We now treat boys like girls. Young guys play fewer sports and are less adventureous than previous generations . Boys don't learn how to fix things like cars and houses because they are too busy studying and gaming, especially in urban areas. And then add the brainwashing by the fem Nazis, and this is what you get. It's kind of sad because it's resulted in boys missing out on a lot of valuable life experiences.

I think it’s cultural. My southern dh is extremely good about household projects, fixing things, and decent with conversation. Most of the northern nyc and nj guys from college were as previously described in this thread with a “I pay people for that” attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is mostly a generational thing. We now treat boys like girls. Young guys play fewer sports and are less adventureous than previous generations . Boys don't learn how to fix things like cars and houses because they are too busy studying and gaming, especially in urban areas. And then add the brainwashing by the fem Nazis, and this is what you get. It's kind of sad because it's resulted in boys missing out on a lot of valuable life experiences.

I think it’s cultural. My southern dh is extremely good about household projects, fixing things, and decent with conversation. Most of the northern nyc and nj guys from college were as previously described in this thread with a “I pay people for that” attitude.

Same. The feminazi poster shows up on my threads like this. They claim feminazis are keeping men from the outdoors and manly efforts but can’t explain why they are still killing people and sexually assaulting women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By no means am I suggesting that a guy needs to be benching his body weight; or watching 8 hrs of football per weekend; or be spitting and scratching his crotch to be a real man. But having only lived on the east coast for 2 years, I am kind of shocked by how un-manly well educated white collar professional guys are in DC and NYC. Seems like everyone's hobby is watching the news (politics in DC; CNBC in NYC). They seem incapable of fixing anything - whether it's a closet door that's off its hinge or a flat tire - they are willing to call a handy man or mechanic and are ok with that guy thinking they have no idea what to do. And they seem kind of gossipy/critical about how others are living their lives. Just seems odd to me that a guy would be ok spending his weekend reading a book and criticizing how some other dude is choosing to rent a home rather than buy. I just feel like guys back home -- including drs/lawyers/med/law students were more into sports, working out, home renovation, cars etc. Is this a DC/NYC thing? I've seen it in guys I've casually dated, guys at work etc. -- all ages 25-35.

Yep, welcome to metro sexual hell. The women here like them that way, meek and quiet. They can control them better that way.

+10000

I like to control my men and you don't have to be a gossipy pansy in order to be controllable. Find a new excuse. I've dated very masculine, hugely attractive men who did what I said. In fact I find the more masculine a man is- genuinely masculine- the more he tends to supersede tohis woman. THat's kind of one of the tenets of masculinity. It's the pansy losers who are always in power struggles with women

This is not a correct use of this word. I think maybe you mean “accede” or “defer”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is mostly a generational thing. We now treat boys like girls. Young guys play fewer sports and are less adventureous than previous generations . Boys don't learn how to fix things like cars and houses because they are too busy studying and gaming, especially in urban areas. And then add the brainwashing by the fem Nazis, and this is what you get. It's kind of sad because it's resulted in boys missing out on a lot of valuable life experiences.

I think it’s cultural. My southern dh is extremely good about household projects, fixing things, and decent with conversation. Most of the northern nyc and nj guys from college were as previously described in this thread with a “I pay people for that” attitude.

My husband is from NY and I’m southern. The more I think about it the more I think NY/NJ people are some of the most pretentious people out there and turn up theirs noses at everything. Constant comparing and thinking they are better than others. Too good to repair a sink or mow a lawn. Unable to hold an engaging conversation unless it’s about work or money.

[Anonymous]

OP is griping because she moved to an urban affluent area and men don't work on their own cars as much?
First, guys here can afford to pay people. If you can't you have to do it yourself.
Second, you're not allowed or encouraged to work on your own car in, say, an apartment complex parking lot or a public street.
Third, if you've got a career and a mortgage to pay and tuitions to pay, it really really doesn't make sense to take time off to fix your car.
Fourth, I do work on my own cars. I do fix my own appliances. Women actually aren't impressed. They care more about BMW vs. Chevy ownership.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is griping because she moved to an urban affluent area and men don't work on their own cars as much?
First, guys here can afford to pay people. If you can't you have to do it yourself.
Second, you're not allowed or encouraged to work on your own car in, say, an apartment complex parking lot or a public street.
Third, if you've got a career and a mortgage to pay and tuitions to pay, it really really doesn't make sense to take time off to fix your car.
Fourth, I do work on my own cars. I do fix my own appliances. Women actually aren't impressed. They care more about BMW vs. Chevy ownership.

I think the cars are a bad example. The point is most men here can’t fix anything. I was 8 months pregnant under the kitchen sink tightening a pipe. I found the tools and watched a you tube video. My husband wants me to rub his feet at night. It’s all such a turnoff!

[Anonymous]

It really has to do with feminism. It has emasculated the men on the coasts. It’s pretty sad really but this is what we get.

Sometimes I feel bad when I see a little boys in this area. There are a few moms at school who are constantly telling their boys how bad “men” are. Another tells her son not to rape women like that’s the default for all boys. The kid does not even know what it means. When those boys grow up, women will want them to be masculine like you all do. Bet they will have a hard time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really has to do with feminism. It has emasculated the men on the coasts. It’s pretty sad really but this is what we get.

Sometimes I feel bad when I see a little boys in this area. There are a few moms at school who are constantly telling their boys how bad “men” are. Another tells her son not to rape women like that’s the default for all boys. The kid does not even know what it means. When those boys grow up, women will want them to be masculine like you all do. Bet they will have a hard time.

Good for her.

[Anonymous]

My brother is extremely masculine and a huge feminist.

Another huge and vocal feminist? Chris Hemsworth.

To equate being unmasculine with being feminist is wishful thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a common trait of women to demand feminist liberation for themselves but continue to expect men to be held to gender standards. They just want a salt of the Earth blue collar guy with a masters degree who makes six figures, doesn't worry about how he looks but somehow magically is in great shape, but is totally OK with a woman who is 40 pounds overweight. He can fix anything but still had time to read the classics and be conversant on intersectionalism. Also, he is very traditionally masculine but loves and appreciates feminism and likes it when women control him. He also has a crystal ball in his cerebellum and knows exactly when to be sexually aggressive but also when to respect a woman's boundaries and read her thoughts even when they are never actually expressed.

Not everyone wants the same thing. If you have ever watched an episode of that show “Wife Swap” you see how different two couples could be. I’m sure everything was exaggerated for ratings but the underlying theme most epsidodes seemed to be that there was something each couple could learn from the other. Similar to what someone upthread said, there isn’t just one “right” way to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop forcing gender roles onto men. The 1950 called and want you back.

To each their own. I and OP want the man to be the man in the relationship. I don't want him crying over a chick flick and sitting around gossiping about friends and commenting on the spice combinations in a dish -- I have girlfriends for that.

Your ideas of gender roles are stereotypical and stupid.

/Women who does not like chick flicks or crying at movies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop forcing gender roles onto men. The 1950 called and want you back.

To each their own. I and OP want the man to be the man in the relationship. I don't want him crying over a chick flick and sitting around gossiping about friends and commenting on the spice combinations in a dish -- I have girlfriends for that.

Your ideas of gender roles are stereotypical and stupid.

/Women who does not like chick flicks or crying at movies

Your cookie is in the mail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really has to do with feminism. It has emasculated the men on the coasts. It’s pretty sad really but this is what we get.

Sometimes I feel bad when I see a little boys in this area. There are a few moms at school who are constantly telling their boys how bad “men” are. Another tells her son not to rape women like that’s the default for all boys. The kid does not even know what it means. When those boys grow up, women will want them to be masculine like you all do. Bet they will have a hard time.

How do you define feminism? How is trying stress the importance of consent wrong? Are you upset with the premise or the execution of it? Here’s the thing, I don’t know if you are religious or not, but one thing I’ve had to realize because someone says they are a Christian and is a raging jerk, doesn’t mean I should turn my back on the religion. Would it be easier if they were an example of what they profess and a guiding light ..oh yeah. But that shouldn’t be the deciding factor on where I stand. And are you looking to someone else to define what feminism means and what actions reflect support because you feel out of your comfort zone or because it gives an easy out? Like phew, look at people that say they are religious and don’t follow what’s in the Bible, now I have an easy out to not even try.