Are east coast/DC/NYC guys just less "manly"??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think that's bad, don't ever move to the West Coast. Manliest guy I knew was gay - he could fix anything. Everyone else was useless.

Hahahah. So true though. Lived in LA for a few months. Went on 1 date. Dude had prettier hair than I did and spent a good portion of the date talking about his hair care routine.

Dont put to much stock in that, DC area women are by and large considered very unfeminine (and overly impressed with themselves) on the west coast. Maybe he was mocking you.

Awwww. The PP struck a nerve. Don't worry dude, women aren't secretly laughing at you and your hair gel. Of course not!

No nerve struck. Why do stupid people think saying "struck a nerve" is a retort? You are clearly one of the effeminate ladybois given the fact you think "women laughing at you" is a clever comeback or concern. Go finish your pedicure princess.

After you finish yours dude. Because pedicures and hair gel are all verrrrrry masculine. Whatever you need to tell yourself!

You are clearly retarded. You posts read like incoherent fourth grader wrote them.

And yours read like they were written by a Thai ladyboy whose picked up some broken English through his clients.

Too dumb to understand, too stupid to insult. Life must be hard on you.

Awww, your English is getting better. Maybe one of your clients will whisk you off to be his gay-for-pay in LA. You'll fit right in.

You are really a little "special" arent you? You seem preoccupied with gay-trans prostitutes, miss mom do ya?

Another great comeback. Too many hairspray fumes, I presume.

It was ok, it wasn't anything nothing noteworthy. My comebacks only appear great because you make it so easy.

At this point I'm starting to believe you're using that hairspray for more than just styling. Have you been huffing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"And they seem kind of gossipy/critical about how others are living their lives."

Yes, nail on the head OP.

More like pot calling kettle black.

[Anonymous]

A guy can be masculine without being violent. But there is more violence in cultures that are more concerned about masculinity.

"Prior research has connected the cultural ideology of honor to intrasexual violence between men and to attitudes supporting intersexual aggression in response to perceived honor violations by female romantic partners. We extend this research to show that honor ideology is also associated with an increased likelihood of men actually engaging in violent and sexually coercive behaviors toward women. Extending previous research on honor-based schemas and scripts linked to relationship violence, comparisons between honor states and non-honor states in the United States show that official rape and domestic homicide rates by White male perpetrators (Study 1) and experiences of rape and violence in relationships anonymously reported by White female teenagers (Study 2) were higher in honor states, controlling for a variety of potential confounds. These results extend prior laboratory research on honor-based schemas and scripts into the realm of extreme, real-world behaviors."

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29241416

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really has to do with feminism. It has emasculated the men on the coasts. It’s pretty sad really but this is what we get.

Sometimes I feel bad when I see a little boys in this area. There are a few moms at school who are constantly telling their boys how bad “men” are. Another tells her son not to rape women like that’s the default for all boys. The kid does not even know what it means. When those boys grow up, women will want them to be masculine like you all do. Bet they will have a hard time.

Wow. You’re more or less implying that raping women is masculine. Disgusting.

I know you think it's this binary thing. Don't rape. But still be traditionally masculine.

But, the "don't rape" message isn't as simple as "don't stick your penis in a woman after she says, 'no, stop.'" There is a strong, related message of telling boys to be very careful to avoid making women uncomfortable when expressing their romantic interests. That leads to men who are cautious, careful, and deferential to women because they don't want to inadvertently cause distress or offense. This is the opposite of masculine. The women who want traditional masculinity want a man (in whom they're interested) to sweep them off their feet. So, it's going to be tough for boys for a little while until a consensus on gender roles re-emerges. That's too bad for them, I guess. But, it's not that big of a burden when compared to the burdens we're trying to lift off of women imposed by centuries of patriarchy and toxic masculinity.

I'm 100% fine with that, and it's not the opposite of masculine. Lots of very masculine men are incredibly deferential to "their" woman- most, in fact. And they still manage to be in shape, learn how to change a tire, etc.

You've obviously never, ever been to the south.

Sure I have. It's the place with all the Confederate flags celebrating its heritage of treason and owning people. Add traditional gender roles as part of that rich heritage, I guess.

All men are deferential to their women if the women know what they are doing. The trick is to let him save face and "top from the bottom." That is how a woman can have her cake (masculine man) and eat it to (have him defer to her). Meek men who can't take initiative are never attractive to women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really has to do with feminism. It has emasculated the men on the coasts. It’s pretty sad really but this is what we get.

Sometimes I feel bad when I see a little boys in this area. There are a few moms at school who are constantly telling their boys how bad “men” are. Another tells her son not to rape women like that’s the default for all boys. The kid does not even know what it means. When those boys grow up, women will want them to be masculine like you all do. Bet they will have a hard time.

Wow. You’re more or less implying that raping women is masculine. Disgusting.

I know you think it's this binary thing. Don't rape. But still be traditionally masculine.

But, the "don't rape" message isn't as simple as "don't stick your penis in a woman after she says, 'no, stop.'" There is a strong, related message of telling boys to be very careful to avoid making women uncomfortable when expressing their romantic interests. That leads to men who are cautious, careful, and deferential to women because they don't want to inadvertently cause distress or offense. This is the opposite of masculine. The women who want traditional masculinity want a man (in whom they're interested) to sweep them off their feet. So, it's going to be tough for boys for a little while until a consensus on gender roles re-emerges. That's too bad for them, I guess. But, it's not that big of a burden when compared to the burdens we're trying to lift off of women imposed by centuries of patriarchy and toxic masculinity.

I'm 100% fine with that, and it's not the opposite of masculine. Lots of very masculine men are incredibly deferential to "their" woman- most, in fact. And they still manage to be in shape, learn how to change a tire, etc.

You've obviously never, ever been to the south.

Sure I have. It's the place with all the Confederate flags celebrating its heritage of treason and owning people. Add traditional gender roles as part of that rich heritage, I guess.

All men are deferential to their women if the women know what they are doing. The trick is to let him save face and "top from the bottom." That is how a woman can have her cake (masculine man) and eat it to (have him defer to her). Meek men who can't take initiative are never attractive to women.

I dont know, I'm pretty rude to my ripped, super masculine boyfriend in public. He deals with it. I think he secretly loves that feistiness about me- in fact I know he does.

Similar to this pic:


Plenty of big, super masculine guys love being bossed around by their petite wife/girlfriend. And if you're used to being dominant you dont have a chip on your shoulder about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really has to do with feminism. It has emasculated the men on the coasts. It’s pretty sad really but this is what we get.

Sometimes I feel bad when I see a little boys in this area. There are a few moms at school who are constantly telling their boys how bad “men” are. Another tells her son not to rape women like that’s the default for all boys. The kid does not even know what it means. When those boys grow up, women will want them to be masculine like you all do. Bet they will have a hard time.

Wow. You’re more or less implying that raping women is masculine. Disgusting.

I know you think it's this binary thing. Don't rape. But still be traditionally masculine.

But, the "don't rape" message isn't as simple as "don't stick your penis in a woman after she says, 'no, stop.'" There is a strong, related message of telling boys to be very careful to avoid making women uncomfortable when expressing their romantic interests. That leads to men who are cautious, careful, and deferential to women because they don't want to inadvertently cause distress or offense. This is the opposite of masculine. The women who want traditional masculinity want a man (in whom they're interested) to sweep them off their feet. So, it's going to be tough for boys for a little while until a consensus on gender roles re-emerges. That's too bad for them, I guess. But, it's not that big of a burden when compared to the burdens we're trying to lift off of women imposed by centuries of patriarchy and toxic masculinity.

I'm 100% fine with that, and it's not the opposite of masculine. Lots of very masculine men are incredibly deferential to "their" woman- most, in fact. And they still manage to be in shape, learn how to change a tire, etc.

You've obviously never, ever been to the south.

Sure I have. It's the place with all the Confederate flags celebrating its heritage of treason and owning people. Add traditional gender roles as part of that rich heritage, I guess.

All men are deferential to their women if the women know what they are doing. The trick is to let him save face and "top from the bottom." That is how a woman can have her cake (masculine man) and eat it to (have him defer to her). Meek men who can't take initiative are never attractive to women.

I dont know, I'm pretty rude to my ripped, super masculine boyfriend in public. He deals with it. I think he secretly loves that feistiness about me- in fact I know he does.

Similar to this pic:


Plenty of big, super masculine guys love being bossed around by their petite wife/girlfriend. And if you're used to being dominant you dont have a chip on your shoulder about it.

Ok, whatever works for you! I can't get turned on by someone I've just chewed out, personally, no matter how ripped they are.

[Anonymous]

Many guys enjoy the drama, especially from Axis II types. I guess it keeps things interesting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many guys enjoy the drama, especially from Axis II types. I guess it keeps things interesting!

You dont have to be an Axis II type. But most men love it. Think Scarlett O'Hara. They eat up drama, as much as they pretend to be above it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many guys enjoy the drama, especially from Axis II types. I guess it keeps things interesting!

You dont have to be an Axis II type. But most men love it. Think Scarlett O'Hara. They eat up drama, as much as they pretend to be above it.

+1

I've finally accepted that my husband doesn't actually want things to go *too* smoothly between us. He wants me to be a bitch to him and for me to keep him in line by being bitchy. I even started a thread about this once and everyone acted like I was crazy. I've learned to be a bitch in a way that doesn't seem to over the top, kind of like a sexy yet disapproving teacher. He eats out of my hand now. C'est la vie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many guys enjoy the drama, especially from Axis II types. I guess it keeps things interesting!

You dont have to be an Axis II type. But most men love it. Think Scarlett O'Hara. They eat up drama, as much as they pretend to be above it.

+1

I've finally accepted that my husband doesn't actually want things to go *too* smoothly between us. He wants me to be a bitch to him and for me to keep him in line by being bitchy. I even started a thread about this once and everyone acted like I was crazy. I've learned to be a bitch in a way that doesn't seem to over the top, kind of like a sexy yet disapproving teacher. He eats out of my hand now. C'est la vie.

That's because most of the men and women on DCUM are total nerds. They don't understand social dynamics in the least. Most of the women on DCUM were like the class loser hiding in the corner, that the men overlooked. Most of the men are the male equivalent. They have no idea about how anything really works, and that's why I take all their "advice" (usually scolding!) with a big grain of salt.

But I agree with you 100%. You figured out exactly what it is- sexy but disapproving teacher. They absolutely love it! As the saying goes, "Be mean to keep em keen."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A guy can be masculine without being violent. But there is more violence in cultures that are more concerned about masculinity.

"Prior research has connected the cultural ideology of honor to intrasexual violence between men and to attitudes supporting intersexual aggression in response to perceived honor violations by female romantic partners. We extend this research to show that honor ideology is also associated with an increased likelihood of men actually engaging in violent and sexually coercive behaviors toward women. Extending previous research on honor-based schemas and scripts linked to relationship violence, comparisons between honor states and non-honor states in the United States show that official rape and domestic homicide rates by White male perpetrators (Study 1) and experiences of rape and violence in relationships anonymously reported by White female teenagers (Study 2) were higher in honor states, controlling for a variety of potential confounds. These results extend prior laboratory research on honor-based schemas and scripts into the realm of extreme, real-world behaviors."

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29241416

The study is regarding a cultural ideology of honor" NOT masculinity. Your post is misleading at best, a blatant attempt at lying at worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy can be masculine without being violent. But there is more violence in cultures that are more concerned about masculinity.

"Prior research has connected the cultural ideology of honor to intrasexual violence between men and to attitudes supporting intersexual aggression in response to perceived honor violations by female romantic partners. We extend this research to show that honor ideology is also associated with an increased likelihood of men actually engaging in violent and sexually coercive behaviors toward women. Extending previous research on honor-based schemas and scripts linked to relationship violence, comparisons between honor states and non-honor states in the United States show that official rape and domestic homicide rates by White male perpetrators (Study 1) and experiences of rape and violence in relationships anonymously reported by White female teenagers (Study 2) were higher in honor states, controlling for a variety of potential confounds. These results extend prior laboratory research on honor-based schemas and scripts into the realm of extreme, real-world behaviors."

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29241416

The study is regarding a cultural ideology of honor" NOT masculinity. Your post is misleading at best, a blatant attempt at lying at worse.

You're a moron if you think honor and masculinity aren't tied together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is mostly a generational thing. We now treat boys like girls. Young guys play fewer sports and are less adventureous than previous generations . Boys don't learn how to fix things like cars and houses because they are too busy studying and gaming, especially in urban areas. And then add the brainwashing by the fem Nazis, and this is what you get. It's kind of sad because it's resulted in boys missing out on a lot of valuable life experiences.

Kinda true. Everyone gets a trophy for participation, it’s never ok for a kid to be upset and we must do whatever we can to make him happy lest his self esteem be hurt, and every boy is free to cry anywhere, anytime. And mamas are ridiculously protective now. Boys must not engage in any physical activity unless there’s a class for it. There was a thread here recently re bike riding lessons!! Pretty sure kids used to figure it out without a class . . . . All of this is more common in/near the wealthier metro areas. Maybe it’s creating more confident women, but it’s creating girly boys who just aren’t as confident and competitive as a few decades ago.

+1

I'm old and I'm not happy. Everything today is improved and I don't like it. I hate it! In my day we didn't have hair dryers. If you wanted to blow dry your hair you stood outside during a hurricane. Your hair was dry but you had a sharp piece of wood driven clear through your skull and that's the way it was and you liked it! You loved it. Whoopee, I'm a human head-kabob. We didn't have Manoxidol and Hair Wings, in my day if your hair started falling out when you were 16 by 19 you were a bald freak. There was nothing you could do about it. Children would spit at you and nobody would mate with you so you couldn't pass on your disgusting baldness genes. You were a public menace, a chrome dome by age 20 and that's the way it was and we liked it! We loved it. Hallelujah look at me, I'm a bald freak oh happy day! Not like today, everybody feeling good about themselves. I hate it! In my day we didn't have these thin latex condoms. So you could enjoy sexual pleasure. In my day there was only one kind of condom. You took a rabbit skin and wrapped around your privates and tied it off with a bungee cord and you couldn't feel nothing! And half the time you didn't even know your partner was there. And we used the same one over and over again! 'Cause we were ignorant morons! Just a bunch of hairless, head-kabobs standing around with rabbit skins on our dinks and that's the way we liked it!

PP, I'm in my late 40s, and I almost peed myself laughing.

+1. Thank you for the trip down memory lane about the good ole days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many guys enjoy the drama, especially from Axis II types. I guess it keeps things interesting!

You dont have to be an Axis II type. But most men love it. Think Scarlett O'Hara. They eat up drama, as much as they pretend to be above it.

+1

I've finally accepted that my husband doesn't actually want things to go *too* smoothly between us. He wants me to be a bitch to him and for me to keep him in line by being bitchy. I even started a thread about this once and everyone acted like I was crazy. I've learned to be a bitch in a way that doesn't seem to over the top, kind of like a sexy yet disapproving teacher. He eats out of my hand now. C'est la vie.

Sure sure just like the woman who husband does the same thing. We know what you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy can be masculine without being violent. But there is more violence in cultures that are more concerned about masculinity.

"Prior research has connected the cultural ideology of honor to intrasexual violence between men and to attitudes supporting intersexual aggression in response to perceived honor violations by female romantic partners. We extend this research to show that honor ideology is also associated with an increased likelihood of men actually engaging in violent and sexually coercive behaviors toward women. Extending previous research on honor-based schemas and scripts linked to relationship violence, comparisons between honor states and non-honor states in the United States show that official rape and domestic homicide rates by White male perpetrators (Study 1) and experiences of rape and violence in relationships anonymously reported by White female teenagers (Study 2) were higher in honor states, controlling for a variety of potential confounds. These results extend prior laboratory research on honor-based schemas and scripts into the realm of extreme, real-world behaviors."

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29241416

The study is regarding a cultural ideology of honor" NOT masculinity. Your post is misleading at best, a blatant attempt at lying at worse.

+1