Parents building a vacation home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, just reading about your own parents. I know some parents of an only child who got married and they have become this nightmare of whining that they have nothing to do when their DS has other plans with his wife's family.

OP here. I think you must be thinking of your own situation? My parents aren't whiners. They're very helpful and flexible. They aren't complaining about us spending time with inlaws. I realize it sucks for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, just reading about your own parents. I know some parents of an only child who got married and they have become this nightmare of whining that they have nothing to do when their DS has other plans with his wife's family.

OP here. I think you must be thinking of your own situation? My parents aren't whiners. They're very helpful and flexible. They aren't complaining about us spending time with inlaws. I realize it sucks for them.

Can't they go, too, from the 23-25? Get them a hotel room and your kids get both sets of grandparents at once!

[Anonymous]

Rent once a year nearby. If the children want to stay in the community room, so be it. No way should the ILs expect the adults to sign up for that.

Send the children during the summer. They might enjoy it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, just reading about your own parents. I know some parents of an only child who got married and they have become this nightmare of whining that they have nothing to do when their DS has other plans with his wife's family.

OP here. I think you must be thinking of your own situation? My parents aren't whiners. They're very helpful and flexible. They aren't complaining about us spending time with inlaws. I realize it sucks for them.

Can't they go, too, from the 23-25? Get them a hotel room and your kids get both sets of grandparents at once!

You can't invite one set of grandparents over to the other set of grandparents' house. Op could invite both sets to her house but I'm guessing that both sides prefer to have their own time with the grandkids which is actually understandable.

[Anonymous]

Are they part of some religious cult?

Have they proposed crazy stuff like this in the past?

The in-laws honestly sound senile. Are any of the other siblings worried about them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:"So you're imagining that we'll be dropping the kids off here to spend a week at Camp Grandparents in the summer? Because I only see one bedroom, and then the bunk room for the kids. I think they'll probably like that when they're little -- not sure about when they're teenagers, but I guess a few good weeks are worth it to you, right?"

OP here. They don't want to watch grandkids without us, so I doubt that's the plan. We fly my parents in during weeks that preschool is closed instead.

If your parents are at your house whenever preschool is closed does that mean that you never spend the holidays with the in-laws?

We spend every other holiday with the inlaws. My parents actually celebrate at my house by themselves without us every other year. We need the most help with daycare schedules around Christmas.

You fly your parents in to help out with the daycare schedules and then on Christmas Day you travel somewhere with your dh and kids to see your in-laws while your own parents stay at your house? How long do you spend with the in-laws?

Yes. We only typically spend 23-25th at the inlaws and then come home. And my parents are upset about this and complain. I'm an only child, so there's no other family for them to go to. I'm just trying to be fair to all.

Why on earth wouldn't your parents just come along to your ILs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, just reading about your own parents. I know some parents of an only child who got married and they have become this nightmare of whining that they have nothing to do when their DS has other plans with his wife's family.

OP here. I think you must be thinking of your own situation? My parents aren't whiners. They're very helpful and flexible. They aren't complaining about us spending time with inlaws. I realize it sucks for them.

Can't they go, too, from the 23-25? Get them a hotel room and your kids get both sets of grandparents at once!

You can't invite one set of grandparents over to the other set of grandparents' house. Op could invite both sets to her house but I'm guessing that both sides prefer to have their own time with the grandkids which is actually understandable.

My god. I can't even imagine. Maybe this is cultural? I just can't imagine any scenario in which I'd leave my husband's family at my house alone for Christmas and spend the holidays with my family esp if my ILs flew across the family to do is a huge favor.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your in laws don't actually consider you and DH (or any of your DH's siblings and spouses) to be adults

[Anonymous]

I would ask Dh or talk to them. Bunk room for all the grandkids and create other bedrooms for the adults, ideally with an ensuite for each adult bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your in laws don't actually consider you and DH (or any of your DH's siblings and spouses) to be adults

OP here. WOW. Yes I 100% agree. I hadn't thought of that before, but I think that gets to the root of all our issues. We're in our 30s btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree - this sounds like an absolutely terrible idea. My parents bought a vacation house on a mountain. The view and setting are wonderful but there just isn't enough space. My DH hates staying there so we've started renting another house down the street when it's more than just our family (brothers, etc.). They aren't offended and we spend all of our awake time at their house. We've tried to talk them into adding onto it but we're really only there 2 weeks in the summer so it seems to be a bit of a waste when it's usually just them.

No way would I want to stay in a bunk room with my BIL/ SIL/ nephews. Bunk rooms are great for kids but NOT for adults... Is there a nearby hotel/ vacation house you could rent while visiting them? Or talk them into doing multiple smaller bunk rooms for each sibling/ family? My DH wouldn't stand for that either (he hates to share a room with kids), but it would be better than having multiple families in one room. I'm a bit stunned - who would think that was a good idea??

Also I really, really think your DH should sit them down and tell them your family will not be there nearly as much as they are envisioning. 8 hours is a long way away - a week in the summer seems like a reasonable commitment to make but certainly not for short holidays.

OP here. I only get 2 weeks a year. I absolutely 100% will not be there for a week a year.

You need to tell them that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one that would look at it like camping? Bring a tent and sleep under the stars. Or rent an RV for the week for extra space and privacy. I think it could be a lot of fun!

Then you go

[Anonymous]

No f*cking way would I use a communal bathroom with my in laws!!!!!!!!!! WTF

It sounds really really really weird. I would suspect people like that of abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No f*cking way would I use a communal bathroom with my in laws!!!!!!!!!! WTF

It sounds really really really weird. I would suspect people like that of abuse.

Maybe they're trying to set up a Big Brother, Family Edition. Definitely check for cameras

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, just reading about your own parents. I know some parents of an only child who got married and they have become this nightmare of whining that they have nothing to do when their DS has other plans with his wife's family.

OP here. I think you must be thinking of your own situation? My parents aren't whiners. They're very helpful and flexible. They aren't complaining about us spending time with inlaws. I realize it sucks for them.

Can't they go, too, from the 23-25? Get them a hotel room and your kids get both sets of grandparents at once!

You can't invite one set of grandparents over to the other set of grandparents' house. Op could invite both sets to her house but I'm guessing that both sides prefer to have their own time with the grandkids which is actually understandable.

It's bizarre that her in laws specifically exclude her parents, leaving them alone for Christmas.