Parents building a vacation home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"So you're imagining that we'll be dropping the kids off here to spend a week at Camp Grandparents in the summer? Because I only see one bedroom, and then the bunk room for the kids. I think they'll probably like that when they're little -- not sure about when they're teenagers, but I guess a few good weeks are worth it to you, right?"

OP here. They don't want to watch grandkids without us, so I doubt that's the plan. We fly my parents in during weeks that preschool is closed instead.

If your parents are at your house whenever preschool is closed does that mean that you never spend the holidays with the in-laws?

We spend every other holiday with the inlaws. My parents actually celebrate at my house by themselves without us every other year. We need the most help with daycare schedules around Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Weird. Why don't they just built it like a stable??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"So you're imagining that we'll be dropping the kids off here to spend a week at Camp Grandparents in the summer? Because I only see one bedroom, and then the bunk room for the kids. I think they'll probably like that when they're little -- not sure about when they're teenagers, but I guess a few good weeks are worth it to you, right?"

OP here. They don't want to watch grandkids without us, so I doubt that's the plan. We fly my parents in during weeks that preschool is closed instead.

I'm not surprised, but that's the script for the passive-aggressive launch of the Oh Hell No conversation that needs to happen before they break ground.

Because they can do what they want, but they don't get to dictate what you do. And they clearly should not assume that you're on board with this, but they have.

[Anonymous]

Are they senile? Or some version of camp/cabin Duggars?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"So you're imagining that we'll be dropping the kids off here to spend a week at Camp Grandparents in the summer? Because I only see one bedroom, and then the bunk room for the kids. I think they'll probably like that when they're little -- not sure about when they're teenagers, but I guess a few good weeks are worth it to you, right?"

OP here. They don't want to watch grandkids without us, so I doubt that's the plan. We fly my parents in during weeks that preschool is closed instead.

If your parents are at your house whenever preschool is closed does that mean that you never spend the holidays with the in-laws?

We spend every other holiday with the inlaws. My parents actually celebrate at my house by themselves without us every other year. We need the most help with daycare schedules around Christmas.

You fly your parents in to help out with the daycare schedules and then on Christmas Day you travel somewhere with your dh and kids to see your in-laws while your own parents stay at your house? How long do you spend with the in-laws?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"So you're imagining that we'll be dropping the kids off here to spend a week at Camp Grandparents in the summer? Because I only see one bedroom, and then the bunk room for the kids. I think they'll probably like that when they're little -- not sure about when they're teenagers, but I guess a few good weeks are worth it to you, right?"

OP here. They don't want to watch grandkids without us, so I doubt that's the plan. We fly my parents in during weeks that preschool is closed instead.

If your parents are at your house whenever preschool is closed does that mean that you never spend the holidays with the in-laws?

We spend every other holiday with the inlaws. My parents actually celebrate at my house by themselves without us every other year. We need the most help with daycare schedules around Christmas.

You fly your parents in to help out with the daycare schedules and then on Christmas Day you travel somewhere with your dh and kids to see your in-laws while your own parents stay at your house? How long do you spend with the in-laws?

Yes. We only typically spend 23-25th at the inlaws and then come home. And my parents are upset about this and complain. I'm an only child, so there's no other family for them to go to. I'm just trying to be fair to all.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the bunk room could be the perfect spot for cousin summer camp! Are they healthy enough to have the grand kids by themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are they senile? Or some version of camp/cabin Duggars?

I think that they must realize that having all of there kids/grandkids show up at the same time will be few and far between. They would love to have that happen but they also realize that even with a bigger place where everyone had their own private suite, not everyone would be able to get together on the same holiday or vacation week. So investing in a bigger, more roomy house doesn't make much sense for them.

They have designed a house that will accommodate everyone (if needed) with the expectation that usually they won't be hosting more than one family at a time.

Well. that is my best shot at giving them the benefit of the doubt anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the bunk room could be the perfect spot for cousin summer camp! Are they healthy enough to have the grand kids by themselves?

No they don't provide childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"So you're imagining that we'll be dropping the kids off here to spend a week at Camp Grandparents in the summer? Because I only see one bedroom, and then the bunk room for the kids. I think they'll probably like that when they're little -- not sure about when they're teenagers, but I guess a few good weeks are worth it to you, right?"

OP here. They don't want to watch grandkids without us, so I doubt that's the plan. We fly my parents in during weeks that preschool is closed instead.

If your parents are at your house whenever preschool is closed does that mean that you never spend the holidays with the in-laws?

We spend every other holiday with the inlaws. My parents actually celebrate at my house by themselves without us every other year. We need the most help with daycare schedules around Christmas.

You fly your parents in to help out with the daycare schedules and then on Christmas Day you travel somewhere with your dh and kids to see your in-laws while your own parents stay at your house? How long do you spend with the in-laws?

Yes. We only typically spend 23-25th at the inlaws and then come home. And my parents are upset about this and complain. I'm an only child, so there's no other family for them to go to. I'm just trying to be fair to all.

You are being more than fair to all. It sounds like both your own parents and the in-laws get plenty of quality time with your family, Op.

At least you have established a precedent of splitting the holidays fairly.

[Anonymous]

Hey, that looks great. Given the set up, I think we'll stay at a hotel given the space issues. The kids when they are older will love the bunk idea but we'd be more comfortable with a bit of privacy.

[Anonymous]

One Christmas, my extended family rented a home with a massive bunk room and one master bedroom and one other bedroom. We were supposed to be there for 5 days. The VRBO listing notes that the house sleeps 20 because of the bunk room. I think we had about 18 people staying there, including kids. It was such a nightmare. Everyone left after 2 nights.

I'd recommend your family rent a house with a bunkroom and spend a weekend together and maybe your parents will see that the bunk room is a terrible idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One Christmas, my extended family rented a home with a massive bunk room and one master bedroom and one other bedroom. We were supposed to be there for 5 days. The VRBO listing notes that the house sleeps 20 because of the bunk room. I think we had about 18 people staying there, including kids. It was such a nightmare. Everyone left after 2 nights.

I'd recommend your family rent a house with a bunkroom and spend a weekend together and maybe your parents will see that the bunk room is a terrible idea.

That's what they SHOULD have done. Now it's a little late, since the grandparents have bought the land and have the house plans. I guess they could still back out, or resell, but...

[Anonymous]

Ugh, just reading about your own parents. I know some parents of an only child who got married and they have become this nightmare of whining that they have nothing to do when their DS has other plans with his wife's family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One Christmas, my extended family rented a home with a massive bunk room and one master bedroom and one other bedroom. We were supposed to be there for 5 days. The VRBO listing notes that the house sleeps 20 because of the bunk room. I think we had about 18 people staying there, including kids. It was such a nightmare. Everyone left after 2 nights.

I'd recommend your family rent a house with a bunkroom and spend a weekend together and maybe your parents will see that the bunk room is a terrible idea.

That's what they SHOULD have done. Now it's a little late, since the grandparents have bought the land and have the house plans. I guess they could still back out, or resell, but...

Sounds like they haven't broken ground. it is not too late to change the houseplans! Even making bunk room 2 BRs and a jack and jill bath would be better...any overflow could stay elsewhere.