Is it bad form to bring your kids to back to school night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the expectation at our school is that the kids are at home with a sitter but there have been times when parents have brought their kid in for many reasons - including not having someone they felt comfortable with. If anyone was 'judging' those that did - I did not notice it but maybe it was because having the kids there wasn't disruptive and we all felt compassion. Lack of money was probably the rare reason parents had to do this but I cannot imagine families with lower incomes having to stress over finding and paying a sitter on top of the difficulty of trying to be engaged in their child's success at school. OP - I would have no problem with your child at BTS night

Oh, look! A SANE person on DCUM! ?

Yes! Who cares THAT much that as one PP said would cause you to judge and gossip about it???? "The neighbors will talk..."????? What kind of dumbass neighbors do you have that have nothing better to do than talk about who brought kids to BTSN????

Ah yes, you must be the parent who thinks rules don't apply to them and thus teach your children the same thing. Good luck with that.

Ah, yes, you must be the parent that talks trash about other parents whose situations you know nothing about and thus teach your children the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

People will give you the evil eye - ignore them. As long as your child is not making noise / being disruptive it is not an issue.

As a teacher who has had to deal with parents regularly who don't think rules apply to them, let me assure you that you ARE trashed in the teacher's lounge, and probably quite often.

What a wonderful, loving educator you are. Bless your heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't bring them, super rude.
It's a perfect occasion to try out a new babysitter.

Not everyone can afford a babysitter. I can't. Please check your privilege.

Then ask a friend and return the favor in the future for them. You don't have to pay.

[Anonymous]

I am freaking rule follower, have arranged babysitters for my kids, and yes - it would piss me off if other people brought kids. I hate it when some people think the rules don't apply to them. OP seems to be saying she will leave the husband at home and split her time between the two, though, so I'm not mad at her

And when I taught at a low income school, we didn't have this same no kids rule.

[Anonymous]

I don't bring my kids either. I bend over backward to be helpful to the school and the teachers. But, see, I don't understand why it would "piss you off" if someone else brought their kids. How does this affect you? I choose to assume that they did the best the could and had to bring the kids or not come. And then I happily move along. Not important enough to offend me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's absurd that people expect OP to get a sitter even though she just moved here and doesn't trust anyone yet. Two friends recently had near misses with tragedy when they tried new babysitters (despite asking all the "right" questions). One sitter wasn't paying attention and the baby girl got out of the house and into the street and almost got hit by a car. Another was caught on a nanny cam leaving a preschooler home alone for an hour.

I am A LOT more sympathetic to people being paranoid about who they trust with their kids after hearing about these incidents. OP, bring your kids with no guilt if it's your only option.

She doesn't have babies or preschoolers. She has elementary aged kids. Here's my thought. If I see a parent with their kids I may be a bit sympathetiic. But if I see two parents I am going to wonder why they couldn't leave kids home with one parent and be annoyed. Our three sitters are all booked so only one of us is going. We are disappointed but no way I'd bring the kids.

This times a thousand. One flustered mom with a couple of kids in tow? I think sitter bailed, husband got stuck at work, life happens. Two parents flagrantly breaking the rules and showing up with kids because neither one of them could bear not getting what they want? Aw hell no.

[Anonymous]

OP, you were told not to bring your kids. What's the point in asking on here? You already know what you are supposed to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happened to me a few years ago. My husband was out of town. I had no one to watch my kids. I hired a babysitter from a company and used her several times beforehand to get to know her and have the kids comfortable with her all for the 1.5 hours of back to school night. Never needed or used her again. Probably cost me 15 hours worth of sitting costs. If I can do that rather than bring my kids it irks me when people who can afford sitters being their kids. OP knew the answer before asking as the school said child care wasn't provided. It wasn't the answer she wanted...

You have more money than sense.

Sorry, I wasn't going to leave my kids with a stranger when one kid already had moderate anxiety. So it was worth it to me to dip his toe in so to speak to make him comfortable, make me comfortable and make it more pleasant. He still stayed up until I got home which was 1.5 hours after his bedtime apparently worrying where I was. But thanks for the insult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

People will give you the evil eye - ignore them. As long as your child is not making noise / being disruptive it is not an issue.

As a teacher who has had to deal with parents regularly who don't think rules apply to them, let me assure you that you ARE trashed in the teacher's lounge, and probably quite often.

What a wonderful, loving educator you are. Bless your heart.

Educator, not doormat. And stop being such a poor example for your kids of which rules matter and which you may choose to ignore. We get the last word in (whether you know it or not), remember that.

[Anonymous]

As a teacher, I would rather you bring the children than not come at all. Just please, make sure the children are quiet and respectful of all the other parents there. One teacher at my school had siblings running wild during her talk and none of the parents tried to control their children. That is what will get you judged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happened to me a few years ago. My husband was out of town. I had no one to watch my kids. I hired a babysitter from a company and used her several times beforehand to get to know her and have the kids comfortable with her all for the 1.5 hours of back to school night. Never needed or used her again. Probably cost me 15 hours worth of sitting costs. If I can do that rather than bring my kids it irks me when people who can afford sitters being their kids. OP knew the answer before asking as the school said child care wasn't provided. It wasn't the answer she wanted...

You have more money than sense.

Sorry, I wasn't going to leave my kids with a stranger when one kid already had moderate anxiety. So it was worth it to me to dip his toe in so to speak to make him comfortable, make me comfortable and make it more pleasant. He still stayed up until I got home which was 1.5 hours after his bedtime apparently worrying where I was. But thanks for the insult.

Just because I'm curious, how did you manage to reach the elementary school years withOUT having a sitter?

[Anonymous]

If everyone brought their kids it would be a frigging zoo.

So I always took the time to make sure I had a sitter or that DH would be home.

It's not rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. The school specifically says not to bring kids but I am always surprised by how many people who do.

'
At our school virtually nobody brings kids. The Principal is very strict and I think she scares the crap out of people.

They do have 3 staggered 20 min sessions in each class---so if you have multiple kids you can attend one for each of your kids. If you have more than 3 kids in the school--you might miss one class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, but some do because they have no choice. You do what you need to do, OP.

No, how about following the very clear, explicit instructions provided by the school.
OP, as others have said, most school understand one parent going between multiple presentations. Also (top secret info coming up here) Back to School not is really not the be-all, end-all of school info. You'll have parent teacher conferences, PTA meetings, and can always schedule a meeting with any staff person you need to speak with about specific matters. If there are handouts, simply ask the teacher to send them home with student.
There are a million legitimate reasons why someone can't make back-to-school night. Not the end of the world.

Parents do not exist for the convenience of the school. If the only way you can go to back-to-school night is to bring your child(ren), then bring your child(ren).

And your child will sit in the hall during the presentation. You have no choice in that matter, sweetheart.

Yes, and...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

People will give you the evil eye - ignore them. As long as your child is not making noise / being disruptive it is not an issue.

As a teacher who has had to deal with parents regularly who don't think rules apply to them, let me assure you that you ARE trashed in the teacher's lounge, and probably quite often.

What a wonderful, loving educator you are. Bless your heart.

Educator, not doormat. And stop being such a poor example for your kids of which rules matter and which you may choose to ignore. We get the last word in (whether you know it or not), remember that.

In my experience, effective teachers try to have a collaborative relationship with parents, not an adversarial one. What's your experience?