Is it bad form to bring your kids to back to school night?
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Anonymous
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People in this thread are talking about "parental responsibility" like not being able to afford a second tree or not having family who can babysit is a parental failing. But it's not. Some parents have limited childcare options but are still good parents. They just can't afford to spend $100 on a weeknight so that they can both attend BTS night without their kids.
If kids are not expected or welcome at BTS night then the school should explain that. They aren't obligated to provide childcare but they should understand the logistics of families well enough to anticipate that this will be a question. As for who should provide childcare so that parents can attend without kids, this is a no brainer that should be obvious and universal: the PTA. This is precisely why PTA's exist. PTA funding and organization makes this an easy thing for them to do in order to help facilitate a school function while also meeting the needs of parents who have limited childcare options. |
Anonymous
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We are at a new elementary school this year in FCPS, and they offered free childcare by older Girlscouts in the cafeteria, as well as sent something about an affordable paid option at a nearby coding place. Not the school’s responsibility but helpful.
In previous elementary school, I always saw a kid or two at BTSN reading or with an ipad and headphones. I never thought anything of it. It’s really not a big deal. |
Anonymous
| It’s so weird to bring your kids. This year in my kids class two families came with both parents and multiple kids. The kids created a lot of noise and distraction while the teacher was presenting. And these folks had an easy solution: one parent goes, one stays home with the kids. |
Anonymous
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I'm at a title 1 school. The first year I made a big effort to find child care. Turns out everyone there brought their kids. It was no big deal. This year, the after school program provided babysitting at the school but not all parents put the kids in there.
***We don't have a PTA. This was the first year that the school provided care. The message about bringing/not bringing/school providing child care was not clear as maybe they were able to secure it last minute. Also, not all families trust child care for their kids. Our school has limited school based evening activities so the kids were excited to be at school in the evening. |
Anonymous
This why schools need to offer virtual back to school nights. Actually I think schools need to stop doing back to school night all together. Instead off a session during the daytime, and get subs to cover the class time. Parents can attend virtually and it can be recorded for those who miss it. |
Anonymous
| Our school explicitly states that children are not supposed to come and I have never seen one there (on year 5 at this school). |
Anonymous
Um, my husband and I work during the day. I'd much rather do back to school at night, after we're done working. |
Anonymous
You seriously just suggested they get subs for an ENTIRE school one day so they can do BTSN during the day? Are you high or just unbelievably stupid? They cannot find enough subs on a normal day. Just dont go if it’s such an imposition for you. |
Anonymous
Our school says the same but i feel that children have the right to be present for any conversations concerning them so i always take him. |
Anonymous
| There's no need to go to back to school night. The teacher will email the presentation the next week. |
Anonymous
Our Title 1 is similar though we do have a PTA. They do organize childcare for other events (like there is childcare during PTA meetings so that single parents can attend without paying a sitter which I really appreciated) but not for BTS night. I was the same as you -- the first year I went out of my way to secure childcare for the BTS night and then there were a bunch of kids there so the next year I brought my kid. If anyone is bothered by it they certainly don't say anything about it. When the culture of the schools is for BTS night to be a whole-family event it has a different tone and the kids get really into it. For instance my kid is always very excited to show me her new classroom and her desk and point out any of her work on the walls. It's fun to meet other parents through our kids. I find that it's a communal event that really makes me feel like we are part of a bigger community at the school and that all of us -- parents and kids and teachers and admin -- are working together to bring up these kids. There are many ways for teachers to convey information to parents so that kids don't hear it -- email and Class Dojo and text and parent-teacher conferences. I actually find my kid generally likes the teacher's presentation talking about what the kids will be working on that year and what the teacher's goals are. Why would that be a negative thing for the kids to hear? The teachers are generally saying stuff the kids figure out anyway like "we're really emphasizing grammar and spelling this year so you'll be seeing more of that in the homework" or "in 3rd we do a unit on climate in the second trimester that incorporates math and reading and writing." It's not like the teachers are up there talking about specific behavioral issues or saying nasty things about the kids. |
Anonymous
| Honestly I think it's bad form of the school to exclude kids and not provide child care. |
Anonymous
| This is all so surprising to me because our school had tons of kids at BTSN and the school even provided a scavenger hunt worksheet to get stamped (get all the stamps, win a free pencil) every time they visit a new area. I never knew that kids were not welcome at other schools! |
Anonymous
+1 I have literally never gotten anything out of going. Logistics were challenging this year with our three kids, so we just skipped it. |
Anonymous
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There is a tri-modal answer here:
In a school serving a well to do area, this usually is not done, even if that means only 1 parent attends. In a lower income / higher FARMS area, it happens for families where one parent is working in the evening and the children are too small to leave home alone. This might be many families in that school. It happens at thoughtful schools of any income when the PTA or the Scouts offer on-site child care for BTS night. |