Is it bad form to bring your kids to back to school night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved here a few weeks ago and don't know or trust anyone yet to babysit. Our kids are in elementary so they know how to behave and sit still. Would it be okay to bring them? Spouse and I will need to split time between classrooms so staying at home with one parent is not an option.

I think it depends on the school. At our school, the aftercare team babysits while parents listen to presentations.

OP here, the school stated that childcare will not be provided that parents should get a babysitter.

Then get a babysitter. Don't bring the kids. They go to school to learn how to read and follow the rules. You should set the example. It's spelled out in plain english, "get a babysitter".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Happened to me a few years ago. My husband was out of town. I had no one to watch my kids. I hired a babysitter from a company and used her several times beforehand to get to know her and have the kids comfortable with her all for the 1.5 hours of back to school night. Never needed or used her again. Probably cost me 15 hours worth of sitting costs. If I can do that rather than bring my kids it irks me when people who can afford sitters being their kids. OP knew the answer before asking as the school said child care wasn't provided. It wasn't the answer she wanted...

You have more money than sense.

[Anonymous]

I hate these posts. The rules say to get a babysitter and that there will be no childcare...so OP polls DCUM to see if it's ok to break the rules. Of course there will be people on here that say it's ok to bring kids and I'm sure OP will accept their advice and bring her kids.

I hate people who do this.

[Anonymous]

One parent stays home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't bring them, super rude.
It's a perfect occasion to try out a new babysitter.

Not everyone can afford a babysitter. I can't. Please check your privilege.

+1 It really is a question of privilege. Incredibly tone deaf to judge anyone for bringing their kids.Washington DC Ward 3 public schools are filled with very well off (ok, not rich but) assholes who are just slumming. The school culture is all about acting civic-minded, while looking down their noses at people who don't spend money on certain things. They'll buy a Starbucks latte every day or go to expensive yoga classes and then smirk at a parent who buys their kid Jordan's because posh parent thinks it's déclassé. Whatever. Fuck these people.

But OP did not mention she was poor.
IF her question was: I'm poor and can't afford a babysitter, then my comment (that you responded to) would have been different.
She said she didn't have a babysitter she knew or trusted yet.

OP, you could also share a sitter with someone. Some of my friends occasionally do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved here a few weeks ago and don't know or trust anyone yet to babysit. Our kids are in elementary so they know how to behave and sit still. Would it be okay to bring them? Spouse and I will need to split time between classrooms so staying at home with one parent is not an option.

Feel free to bring your kids and also feel free to be judged and have all of your new neighbors talk about you. It's your choice but as a new neighbor, I wouldn't want to start out on the wrong foot. PEOPLE WILL TALK!!!

[Anonymous]

Do not bring your kids. Just don't. If you cannot attend Back to School night due to lack of child care, just call the teacher and set up a time to meet with him or her to get the information you missed.

[Anonymous]

What is rude to ask parents to make an expenditure they don't want to make and force them to leave their kids (perhaps for the first time) with some random stranger that they call on SitterCity.com or whatever just for three hours or so. I had 4 kids total, one was 2, the rest in elementary.

I had a rando sitter quote me $100.00 to sit the 4 of them for 4 hours during BTSN. I said no and brought the kids with me. You should too, without any hesitation.

One time I found an AU student who watched them during a Parent Social evening. When I came home, the tub on the top floor of our house had flooded and my 5 y o was crying inconsolably (they weren't used to babysitters.) Didn't do it again until the youngest was 5--but it still was a strain. It's an unfair burden on SAHparents.

Oh boo hoo. You mean your responsibilities mean you miss out on something you'd like to do? Welcome to every WOH parent's life every day. Fuck off.

[Anonymous]

I know the expectation at our school is that the kids are at home with a sitter but there have been times when parents have brought their kid in for many reasons - including not having someone they felt comfortable with. If anyone was 'judging' those that did - I did not notice it but maybe it was because having the kids there wasn't disruptive and we all felt compassion. Lack of money was probably the rare reason parents had to do this but I cannot imagine families with lower incomes having to stress over finding and paying a sitter on top of the difficulty of trying to be engaged in their child's success at school. OP - I would have no problem with your child at BTS night

[Anonymous]

Kids are welcome at our school. Other schools, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know the expectation at our school is that the kids are at home with a sitter but there have been times when parents have brought their kid in for many reasons - including not having someone they felt comfortable with. If anyone was 'judging' those that did - I did not notice it but maybe it was because having the kids there wasn't disruptive and we all felt compassion. Lack of money was probably the rare reason parents had to do this but I cannot imagine families with lower incomes having to stress over finding and paying a sitter on top of the difficulty of trying to be engaged in their child's success at school. OP - I would have no problem with your child at BTS night

Oh, look! A SANE person on DCUM! ?

Yes! Who cares THAT much that as one PP said would cause you to judge and gossip about it???? "The neighbors will talk..."????? What kind of dumbass neighbors do you have that have nothing better to do than talk about who brought kids to BTSN????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

People will give you the evil eye - ignore them. As long as your child is not making noise / being disruptive it is not an issue.

As a teacher who has had to deal with parents regularly who don't think rules apply to them, let me assure you that you ARE trashed in the teacher's lounge, and probably quite often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the expectation at our school is that the kids are at home with a sitter but there have been times when parents have brought their kid in for many reasons - including not having someone they felt comfortable with. If anyone was 'judging' those that did - I did not notice it but maybe it was because having the kids there wasn't disruptive and we all felt compassion. Lack of money was probably the rare reason parents had to do this but I cannot imagine families with lower incomes having to stress over finding and paying a sitter on top of the difficulty of trying to be engaged in their child's success at school. OP - I would have no problem with your child at BTS night

Oh, look! A SANE person on DCUM! ?

Yes! Who cares THAT much that as one PP said would cause you to judge and gossip about it???? "The neighbors will talk..."????? What kind of dumbass neighbors do you have that have nothing better to do than talk about who brought kids to BTSN????

Ah yes, you must be the parent who thinks rules don't apply to them and thus teach your children the same thing. Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, but some do because they have no choice. You do what you need to do, OP.

No, how about following the very clear, explicit instructions provided by the school.
OP, as others have said, most school understand one parent going between multiple presentations. Also (top secret info coming up here) Back to School not is really not the be-all, end-all of school info. You'll have parent teacher conferences, PTA meetings, and can always schedule a meeting with any staff person you need to speak with about specific matters. If there are handouts, simply ask the teacher to send them home with student.
There are a million legitimate reasons why someone can't make back-to-school night. Not the end of the world.

Parents do not exist for the convenience of the school. If the only way you can go to back-to-school night is to bring your child(ren), then bring your child(ren).

And your child will sit in the hall during the presentation. You have no choice in that matter, sweetheart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's absurd that people expect OP to get a sitter even though she just moved here and doesn't trust anyone yet. Two friends recently had near misses with tragedy when they tried new babysitters (despite asking all the "right" questions). One sitter wasn't paying attention and the baby girl got out of the house and into the street and almost got hit by a car. Another was caught on a nanny cam leaving a preschooler home alone for an hour.

I am A LOT more sympathetic to people being paranoid about who they trust with their kids after hearing about these incidents. OP, bring your kids with no guilt if it's your only option.

She doesn't have babies or preschoolers. She has elementary aged kids. Here's my thought. If I see a parent with their kids I may be a bit sympathetiic. But if I see two parents I am going to wonder why they couldn't leave kids home with one parent and be annoyed. Our three sitters are all booked so only one of us is going. We are disappointed but no way I'd bring the kids.