Considering Divorce

[Anonymous]

You mentioned attending services weekly...have you or both of you talked this over with someone in your church? Perhaps the pastor or a really close friend who can pray with you? And i agree with another comment - get yourself tested for depression or other issues...anyway, praying for you...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How will you feel when your DH is happily remarried to a younger woman that your kids adore, living in a nicer house than yours, and spending holidays with your kids on fabulous vacations while you are single and alone (or celebrating holidays with friends since they take pity on you)? That's what I'm observing in my peer group, even though the women are relatively young (late 30s/early 40s), professionally successful, super fit and attractive.

Try harder to fix your relationship---starting with your own mindset---before jumping ship.

This x1000. This is the reality for a huge number of women who divorce. Marriage is hard. Work at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How will you feel when your DH is happily remarried to a younger woman that your kids adore, living in a nicer house than yours, and spending holidays with your kids on fabulous vacations while you are single and alone (or celebrating holidays with friends since they take pity on you)? That's what I'm observing in my peer group, even though the women are relatively young (late 30s/early 40s), professionally successful, super fit and attractive.

Try harder to fix your relationship---starting with your own mindset---before jumping ship.

No younger woman wants her husbands kids to tag along on fabulous vacations. Especially not when their own babies come along. Trust me on this. And on that note, making the kids hate the new wife is a piece of cake, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

taketothebank wrote:

Exactly my thoughts. What a horrible way to label children. They are people, with hearts and feelings. How dare you call them baggage!!!! What a jerk.

Call them whatever you want,

How about calling them children? The other posters are correct. Calling children baggage is horrible.

"Baggage" is shorthand for "a huge, multi-year emotional and financial burden that you should think very carefully before you assume and needn't feel bad if you'd rather not do so".

Calling them "children" in an effort to sugar-coat this fact and to make people feel bad if they don't want to assume that burden is stupid and mendacious.

+10000. All the feigned outrage by these sheltered bitches. Im sure none of whom have actually been divorced with multiple kids and so couldnt possibly understand how there little snowflakes could be thought of as anything but a snowflake by anyone. Get divorced and see what the dating pool is for a 40's-50's women with 3 Kids. Why would any established man date you old horses when he could date a younger, hotter women with no kids, ie, no (gasp) baggage??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How will you feel when your DH is happily remarried to a younger woman that your kids adore, living in a nicer house than yours, and spending holidays with your kids on fabulous vacations while you are single and alone (or celebrating holidays with friends since they take pity on you)? That's what I'm observing in my peer group, even though the women are relatively young (late 30s/early 40s), professionally successful, super fit and attractive.

Try harder to fix your relationship---starting with your own mindset---before jumping ship.

No younger woman wants her husbands kids to tag along on fabulous vacations. Especially not when their own babies come along. Trust me on this. And on that note, making the kids hate the new wife is a piece of cake, too.

Yea, my husband's wife #2 always resented my daughter and her children bullied my daughter, who hated going to visit her dad. She was never included in their luxe family vacations.

[Anonymous]

Why would a younger hotter woman want an older man with three child support bills and a time custody commitment? That's a lot of baggage to take on. Especially if she wants her own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

taketothebank wrote:

Exactly my thoughts. What a horrible way to label children. They are people, with hearts and feelings. How dare you call them baggage!!!! What a jerk.

Call them whatever you want,

How about calling them children? The other posters are correct. Calling children baggage is horrible.

"Baggage" is shorthand for "a huge, multi-year emotional and financial burden that you should think very carefully before you assume and needn't feel bad if you'd rather not do so".

Calling them "children" in an effort to sugar-coat this fact and to make people feel bad if they don't want to assume that burden is stupid and mendacious.

+10000. All the feigned outrage by these sheltered bitches. Im sure none of whom have actually been divorced with multiple kids and so couldnt possibly understand how there little snowflakes could be thought of as anything but a snowflake by anyone. Get divorced and see what the dating pool is for a 40's-50's women with 3 Kids. Why would any established man date you old horses when he could date a younger, hotter women with no kids, ie, no (gasp) baggage??

*their. Idiot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

taketothebank wrote:

Exactly my thoughts. What a horrible way to label children. They are people, with hearts and feelings. How dare you call them baggage!!!! What a jerk.

Call them whatever you want,

How about calling them children? The other posters are correct. Calling children baggage is horrible.

"Baggage" is shorthand for "a huge, multi-year emotional and financial burden that you should think very carefully before you assume and needn't feel bad if you'd rather not do so".

Calling them "children" in an effort to sugar-coat this fact and to make people feel bad if they don't want to assume that burden is stupid and mendacious.

+10000. All the feigned outrage by these sheltered bitches. Im sure none of whom have actually been divorced with multiple kids and so couldnt possibly understand how there little snowflakes could be thought of as anything but a snowflake by anyone. Get divorced and see what the dating pool is for a 40's-50's women with 3 Kids. Why would any established man date you old horses when he could date a younger, hotter women with no kids, ie, no (gasp) baggage??

*their. Idiot

Exactly. Plus calling women "bitches" and "old horses." Then calling children "baggage" and claiming that women with children can't get remarried.

This is a dangerous person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

taketothebank wrote:

Exactly my thoughts. What a horrible way to label children. They are people, with hearts and feelings. How dare you call them baggage!!!! What a jerk.

Call them whatever you want,

How about calling them children? The other posters are correct. Calling children baggage is horrible.

"Baggage" is shorthand for "a huge, multi-year emotional and financial burden that you should think very carefully before you assume and needn't feel bad if you'd rather not do so".

Calling them "children" in an effort to sugar-coat this fact and to make people feel bad if they don't want to assume that burden is stupid and mendacious.

+10000. All the feigned outrage by these sheltered bitches. Im sure none of whom have actually been divorced with multiple kids and so couldnt possibly understand how there little snowflakes could be thought of as anything but a snowflake by anyone. Get divorced and see what the dating pool is for a 40's-50's women with 3 Kids. Why would any established man date you old horses when he could date a younger, hotter women with no kids, ie, no (gasp) baggage??

Just from that I can tell you are a stunted, whiny person who exhausts everyone in your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How will you feel when your DH is happily remarried to a younger woman that your kids adore, living in a nicer house than yours, and spending holidays with your kids on fabulous vacations while you are single and alone (or celebrating holidays with friends since they take pity on you)? That's what I'm observing in my peer group, even though the women are relatively young (late 30s/early 40s), professionally successful, super fit and attractive.

Try harder to fix your relationship---starting with your own mindset---before jumping ship.

No younger woman wants her husbands kids to tag along on fabulous vacations. Especially not when their own babies come along. Trust me on this. And on that note, making the kids hate the new wife is a piece of cake, too.

I'm observing that kids end up liking the new mom. I'm observing lavish trips to Disney, Europe, etc. I'm observing you get second wives with great careers and money who don't want a kid of their own. And from what I can see on FB, they enjoy their time without the kids as well (50-50 custody). Meanwhile, the ex wife is living in a crappy rental and either struggling with dating losers on tinder or losers from the neighborhood/school district. They spend holidays with friends instead of their kids. They are stressed out and money is tight. I have yet to see an ex-wife thrive, yet I have observed lots of ex-husbands thrive in new marriages, dual income households.

And the impact on the kids isn't good. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How will you feel when your DH is happily remarried to a younger woman that your kids adore, living in a nicer house than yours, and spending holidays with your kids on fabulous vacations while you are single and alone (or celebrating holidays with friends since they take pity on you)? That's what I'm observing in my peer group, even though the women are relatively young (late 30s/early 40s), professionally successful, super fit and attractive.

Try harder to fix your relationship---starting with your own mindset---before jumping ship.

No younger woman wants her husbands kids to tag along on fabulous vacations. Especially not when their own babies come along. Trust me on this. And on that note, making the kids hate the new wife is a piece of cake, too.

Not true. I can tell you of at least two cases where the new wife adores the kids. One of the couples is older now and have grandkids and she treats them as her own.

The other met someone who is fit, attractive and about 8 years younger. She loves his kids, and they have a younger one of their own.

In this case the ex-wife's loss was their gain. They're both integrated in happy families on the father's side. The new wives got what they wanted ultimately - a family they're part of.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the ex would rather live in a crappy rental on her own terms. Maybe she tried the big house and fancy vacations and thought it wasn't what she wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How will you feel when your DH is happily remarried to a younger woman that your kids adore, living in a nicer house than yours, and spending holidays with your kids on fabulous vacations while you are single and alone (or celebrating holidays with friends since they take pity on you)? That's what I'm observing in my peer group, even though the women are relatively young (late 30s/early 40s), professionally successful, super fit and attractive.

Try harder to fix your relationship---starting with your own mindset---before jumping ship.

No younger woman wants her husbands kids to tag along on fabulous vacations. Especially not when their own babies come along. Trust me on this. And on that note, making the kids hate the new wife is a piece of cake, too.

I'm observing that kids end up liking the new mom. I'm observing lavish trips to Disney, Europe, etc. I'm observing you get second wives with great careers and money who don't want a kid of their own. And from what I can see on FB, they enjoy their time without the kids as well (50-50 custody). Meanwhile, the ex wife is living in a crappy rental and either struggling with dating losers on tinder or losers from the neighborhood/school district. They spend holidays with friends instead of their kids. They are stressed out and money is tight. I have yet to see an ex-wife thrive, yet I have observed lots of ex-husbands thrive in new marriages, dual income households.

And the impact on the kids isn't good. Sorry.

I also see what you observe except in one case where she had an affair. It took him a long time to get over it emotionally and start dating again. He's doing okay financially and has a place of his own be bought, but he's not happy or thriving. I encouraged him to seek therapy but he won't. Hopefully he'll get over it. He's attractive physically apparently as I've seen women approach him several times in person, but they can't deal with his depression and split as soon as they realize what's going on. If he lightens up he will be good. I hate seeing him like this though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How will you feel when your DH is happily remarried to a younger woman that your kids adore, living in a nicer house than yours, and spending holidays with your kids on fabulous vacations while you are single and alone (or celebrating holidays with friends since they take pity on you)? That's what I'm observing in my peer group, even though the women are relatively young (late 30s/early 40s), professionally successful, super fit and attractive.

Try harder to fix your relationship---starting with your own mindset---before jumping ship.

No younger woman wants her husbands kids to tag along on fabulous vacations. Especially not when their own babies come along. Trust me on this. And on that note, making the kids hate the new wife is a piece of cake, too.

I'm observing that kids end up liking the new mom. I'm observing lavish trips to Disney, Europe, etc. I'm observing you get second wives with great careers and money who don't want a kid of their own. And from what I can see on FB, they enjoy their time without the kids as well (50-50 custody). Meanwhile, the ex wife is living in a crappy rental and either struggling with dating losers on tinder or losers from the neighborhood/school district. They spend holidays with friends instead of their kids. They are stressed out and money is tight. I have yet to see an ex-wife thrive, yet I have observed lots of ex-husbands thrive in new marriages, dual income households.

And the impact on the kids isn't good. Sorry.

You've discredited yourself by painting all these scenarios you've described (or "observed") with the same broad, identical brush. So you know not one, but several women in this exact scenario...gimme a break.

Divircecus painful, and hard, and gut-wrenching but it doesn't always end with the woman's life in shambles. Anecdotally, I know several women who are thriving. Their divorces were very, very difficult but they've come out the other side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How will you feel when your DH is happily remarried to a younger woman that your kids adore, living in a nicer house than yours, and spending holidays with your kids on fabulous vacations while you are single and alone (or celebrating holidays with friends since they take pity on you)? That's what I'm observing in my peer group, even though the women are relatively young (late 30s/early 40s), professionally successful, super fit and attractive.

Try harder to fix your relationship---starting with your own mindset---before jumping ship.

No younger woman wants her husbands kids to tag along on fabulous vacations. Especially not when their own babies come along. Trust me on this. And on that note, making the kids hate the new wife is a piece of cake, too.

Not true. I can tell you of at least two cases where the new wife adores the kids. One of the couples is older now and have grandkids and she treats them as her own.

The other met someone who is fit, attractive and about 8 years younger. She loves his kids, and they have a younger one of their own.

In this case the ex-wife's loss was their gain. They're both integrated in happy families on the father's side. The new wives got what they wanted ultimately - a family they're part of.

... and a balding husband who pulls a muscle every time he works out (every other Saturday after he catches a side-glimpse of his beer gut when he gets out of the shower) who keeps his Viagra in the sock drawer thinking that's a good place to hide it from her.