Ladies - Does actively pursuing a man you like work? Anyone got their hubby this way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I flirted with and pursued my husband. He adores and loves me and treats me like a queen every day. He is shy and would not have pursued me had I not made it very obviously known that I was into him.

I think the above approach works. It is not the same as "chasing" and bending over backwards. It's basically what I did. Keep in mind many men have fragile egos -- they are less like to ask out a woman if there is a chance they will be turned down. They want a sure thing - ( I am not advocating being sexually "easy")
BTW- I am struggling with how to relay this life lesson to college age daughter. Anyone been there done that?

I don't think that's true.

Many men want a prize. There's a cognitive bias that makes people think that something they invest a lot of time in has a high value.

[Anonymous]

A woman shouldn't limit or conceal her sexuality in pursuit of a boyfriend or spouse. If he's the kind of guy who is turned off by your real sexual preferences, you're not likely to be happy with him for any length of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I flirted with and pursued my husband. He adores and loves me and treats me like a queen every day. He is shy and would not have pursued me had I not made it very obviously known that I was into him.

I think the above approach works. It is not the same as "chasing" and bending over backwards. It's basically what I did. Keep in mind many men have fragile egos -- they are less like to ask out a woman if there is a chance they will be turned down. They want a sure thing - ( I am not advocating being sexually "easy")
BTW- I am struggling with how to relay this life lesson to college age daughter. Anyone been there done that?

I don't think that's true.

Many men want a prize. There's a cognitive bias that makes people think that something they invest a lot of time in has a high value.

The want a prize thing: my understanding is that's how women think, not men. I have been interested in women and married the one based on their presence - appearance, personally, behavior - not their popularity. So I think you're wrong there.

The fragile ego/sure thing statement: relentless rejection is the reality. Just look at this forum. How damn often do women post about salary or job requirements in a guy that eliminate the vast majority of the available men in even an affluent jurisdiction? Other strict requirements? (Men by comparison are merely looking for not fat, not horrible company, no vow of chastity, and not currently wanted by the law. Ok, in this state. For murder.)

[Anonymous]

In my experience many good decent men are not good with girls early in their life. In college and most of their early-mid twenties these guys are shy and very fragile. A lot of them spend many years rotating between vapid gross party girls who use them for hookups while they're waiting for a rich alpha.

My husband was a sweet natured and shy early twentysomething. I very obviously showed interest. He would never have thought to be attracted to me. These guys do not get their hopes up since they are always rejected.

It is the players that pursue and you need to be careful. The two men who actively pursued me happened to be awful who just wanted to sleep with me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I flirted with and pursued my husband. He adores and loves me and treats me like a queen every day. He is shy and would not have pursued me had I not made it very obviously known that I was into him.

I think the above approach works. It is not the same as "chasing" and bending over backwards. It's basically what I did. Keep in mind many men have fragile egos -- they are less like to ask out a woman if there is a chance they will be turned down. They want a sure thing - ( I am not advocating being sexually "easy")
BTW- I am struggling with how to relay this life lesson to college age daughter. Anyone been there done that?

I don't think that's true.

Many men want a prize. There's a cognitive bias that makes people think that something they invest a lot of time in has a high value.

The want a prize thing: my understanding is that's how women think, not men. I have been interested in women and married the one based on their presence - appearance, personally, behavior - not their popularity. So I think you're wrong there.

The fragile ego/sure thing statement: relentless rejection is the reality. Just look at this forum. How damn often do women post about salary or job requirements in a guy that eliminate the vast majority of the available men in even an affluent jurisdiction? Other strict requirements? (Men by comparison are merely looking for not fat, not horrible company, no vow of chastity, and not currently wanted by the law. Ok, in this state. For murder.)

+1

I do not know ANY man who thinks his girlfriend is a "prize that he had to win over with hard work." lol. What kind of strange narratives do women feed themselves?

Guys are super easy and NOT vert picky. If you are anywhere from a 5-10 on a scale of 10 and demonstrate interest in him he WILL date you! Even the ugly women if they have warm nice personalities can get a guy!

LOL. This forum is full of blind women leading the blind and spreading inaccuracies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I flirted with and pursued my husband. He adores and loves me and treats me like a queen every day. He is shy and would not have pursued me had I not made it very obviously known that I was into him.

I think the above approach works. It is not the same as "chasing" and bending over backwards. It's basically what I did. Keep in mind many men have fragile egos -- they are less like to ask out a woman if there is a chance they will be turned down. They want a sure thing - ( I am not advocating being sexually "easy")
BTW- I am struggling with how to relay this life lesson to college age daughter. Anyone been there done that?

I don't think that's true.

Many men want a prize. There's a cognitive bias that makes people think that something they invest a lot of time in has a high value.

The want a prize thing: my understanding is that's how women think, not men. I have been interested in women and married the one based on their presence - appearance, personally, behavior - not their popularity. So I think you're wrong there.

The fragile ego/sure thing statement: relentless rejection is the reality. Just look at this forum. How damn often do women post about salary or job requirements in a guy that eliminate the vast majority of the available men in even an affluent jurisdiction? Other strict requirements? (Men by comparison are merely looking for not fat, not horrible company, no vow of chastity, and not currently wanted by the law. Ok, in this state. For murder.)

+1

I do not know ANY man who thinks his girlfriend is a "prize that he had to win over with hard work." lol. What kind of strange narratives do women feed themselves?

Guys are super easy and NOT vert picky. If you are anywhere from a 5-10 on a scale of 10 and demonstrate interest in him he WILL date you! Even the ugly women if they have warm nice personalities can get a guy!

LOL. This forum is full of blind women leading the blind and spreading inaccuracies!

Honestly, if you're just fit men will line up at your door. You really don't even have to be overly attractive. Get a trainer/nutritionist and spend 3 months getting fit and guys will fall all over themselves to ask you out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I flirted with and pursued my husband. He adores and loves me and treats me like a queen every day. He is shy and would not have pursued me had I not made it very obviously known that I was into him.

I think the above approach works. It is not the same as "chasing" and bending over backwards. It's basically what I did. Keep in mind many men have fragile egos -- they are less like to ask out a woman if there is a chance they will be turned down. They want a sure thing - ( I am not advocating being sexually "easy")
BTW- I am struggling with how to relay this life lesson to college age daughter. Anyone been there done that?

I don't think that's true.

Many men want a prize. There's a cognitive bias that makes people think that something they invest a lot of time in has a high value.

The want a prize thing: my understanding is that's how women think, not men. I have been interested in women and married the one based on their presence - appearance, personally, behavior - not their popularity. So I think you're wrong there.

The fragile ego/sure thing statement: relentless rejection is the reality. Just look at this forum. How damn often do women post about salary or job requirements in a guy that eliminate the vast majority of the available men in even an affluent jurisdiction? Other strict requirements? (Men by comparison are merely looking for not fat, not horrible company, no vow of chastity, and not currently wanted by the law. Ok, in this state. For murder.)

+1

I do not know ANY man who thinks his girlfriend is a "prize that he had to win over with hard work." lol. What kind of strange narratives do women feed themselves?

Guys are super easy and NOT vert picky. If you are anywhere from a 5-10 on a scale of 10 and demonstrate interest in him he WILL date you! Even the ugly women if they have warm nice personalities can get a guy!

LOL. This forum is full of blind women leading the blind and spreading inaccuracies!

Honestly, if you're just fit men will line up at your door. You really don't even have to be overly attractive. Get a trainer/nutritionist and spend 3 months getting fit and guys will fall all over themselves to ask you out.

This.

You need to not be super beautiful or super amazing or super smart.

Look at the women who come on Say Yes to the Dress.

Guys are not picky! Women are!

If a woman is single it is because she is getting in her own way.

Any normal looking woman (and hell, even the uggos) can get most men on the market while there within the age range of 16-45.

[Anonymous]

Hubby. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't. This seems like a great way to end up in a dead end relationship with a guy who doesn't like you that much. In my experience, even very shy men are willing to pursue a woman they are really interested in.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I flirted with and pursued my husband. He adores and loves me and treats me like a queen every day. He is shy and would not have pursued me had I not made it very obviously known that I was into him.

I think the above approach works. It is not the same as "chasing" and bending over backwards. It's basically what I did. Keep in mind many men have fragile egos -- they are less like to ask out a woman if there is a chance they will be turned down. They want a sure thing - ( I am not advocating being sexually "easy")
BTW- I am struggling with how to relay this life lesson to college age daughter. Anyone been there done that?

I don't think that's true.

Many men want a prize. There's a cognitive bias that makes people think that something they invest a lot of time in has a high value.

The want a prize thing: my understanding is that's how women think, not men. I have been interested in women and married the one based on their presence - appearance, personally, behavior - not their popularity. So I think you're wrong there.

The fragile ego/sure thing statement: relentless rejection is the reality. Just look at this forum. How damn often do women post about salary or job requirements in a guy that eliminate the vast majority of the available men in even an affluent jurisdiction? Other strict requirements? (Men by comparison are merely looking for not fat, not horrible company, no vow of chastity, and not currently wanted by the law. Ok, in this state. For murder.)

Men who are smart and educated are looking for a smart educated gal. Works both ways - smart educated ladies want a smart guy too. Intellectual mismatch gets old quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I flirted with and pursued my husband. He adores and loves me and treats me like a queen every day. He is shy and would not have pursued me had I not made it very obviously known that I was into him.

I think the above approach works. It is not the same as "chasing" and bending over backwards. It's basically what I did. Keep in mind many men have fragile egos -- they are less like to ask out a woman if there is a chance they will be turned down. They want a sure thing - ( I am not advocating being sexually "easy")
BTW- I am struggling with how to relay this life lesson to college age daughter. Anyone been there done that?

I don't think that's true.

Many men want a prize. There's a cognitive bias that makes people think that something they invest a lot of time in has a high value.

The want a prize thing: my understanding is that's how women think, not men. I have been interested in women and married the one based on their presence - appearance, personally, behavior - not their popularity. So I think you're wrong there.

The fragile ego/sure thing statement: relentless rejection is the reality. Just look at this forum. How damn often do women post about salary or job requirements in a guy that eliminate the vast majority of the available men in even an affluent jurisdiction? Other strict requirements? (Men by comparison are merely looking for not fat, not horrible company, no vow of chastity, and not currently wanted by the law. Ok, in this state. For murder.)

Men who are smart and educated are looking for a smart educated gal. Works both ways - smart educated ladies want a smart guy too. Intellectual mismatch gets old quickly.

And guys want you to bear their smart babies...

[Anonymous]

I was at a party and was having a very casual convo with my now DH. My friends were leaving so I left and he did not ask for my number. I went back into the house and gave him my number. 15 years later I am in a miserable marriage with the laziest person on earth who never lifts a finger to do anything around the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was at a party and was having a very casual convo with my now DH. My friends were leaving so I left and he did not ask for my number. I went back into the house and gave him my number. 15 years later I am in a miserable marriage with the laziest person on earth who never lifts a finger to do anything around the house.

Does he suck in bed too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I flirted with and pursued my husband. He adores and loves me and treats me like a queen every day. He is shy and would not have pursued me had I not made it very obviously known that I was into him.

I think the above approach works. It is not the same as "chasing" and bending over backwards. It's basically what I did. Keep in mind many men have fragile egos -- they are less like to ask out a woman if there is a chance they will be turned down. They want a sure thing - ( I am not advocating being sexually "easy")
BTW- I am struggling with how to relay this life lesson to college age daughter. Anyone been there done that?

I don't think that's true.

Many men want a prize. There's a cognitive bias that makes people think that something they invest a lot of time in has a high value.

The want a prize thing: my understanding is that's how women think, not men. I have been interested in women and married the one based on their presence - appearance, personally, behavior - not their popularity. So I think you're wrong there.

The fragile ego/sure thing statement: relentless rejection is the reality. Just look at this forum. How damn often do women post about salary or job requirements in a guy that eliminate the vast majority of the available men in even an affluent jurisdiction? Other strict requirements? (Men by comparison are merely looking for not fat, not horrible company, no vow of chastity, and not currently wanted by the law. Ok, in this state. For murder.)

Men who are smart and educated are looking for a smart educated gal. Works both ways - smart educated ladies want a smart guy too. Intellectual mismatch gets old quickly.

A lie. The thing is, it is noteworthy to meet a woman in this area without a college degree and a minimum required level of intelligence and of education. It's not worth putting on the list. Stop sneering at other women who might be less successful in business than you or with fewer degrees. This isn't a job interview.

And with regard to smart babies ... you realize education isn't inherited, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I flirted with and pursued my husband. He adores and loves me and treats me like a queen every day. He is shy and would not have pursued me had I not made it very obviously known that I was into him.

I think the above approach works. It is not the same as "chasing" and bending over backwards. It's basically what I did. Keep in mind many men have fragile egos -- they are less like to ask out a woman if there is a chance they will be turned down. They want a sure thing - ( I am not advocating being sexually "easy")
BTW- I am struggling with how to relay this life lesson to college age daughter. Anyone been there done that?

I don't think that's true.

Many men want a prize. There's a cognitive bias that makes people think that something they invest a lot of time in has a high value.

The want a prize thing: my understanding is that's how women think, not men. I have been interested in women and married the one based on their presence - appearance, personally, behavior - not their popularity. So I think you're wrong there.

The fragile ego/sure thing statement: relentless rejection is the reality. Just look at this forum. How damn often do women post about salary or job requirements in a guy that eliminate the vast majority of the available men in even an affluent jurisdiction? Other strict requirements? (Men by comparison are merely looking for not fat, not horrible company, no vow of chastity, and not currently wanted by the law. Ok, in this state. For murder.)

Men who are smart and educated are looking for a smart educated gal. Works both ways - smart educated ladies want a smart guy too. Intellectual mismatch gets old quickly.

A lie. The thing is, it is noteworthy to meet a woman in this area without a college degree and a minimum required level of intelligence and of education. It's not worth putting on the list. Stop sneering at other women who might be less successful in business than you or with fewer degrees. This isn't a job interview.

And with regard to smart babies ... you realize education isn't inherited, right?

But it's what they want, like it or not. At least a certain sector of them.
A corge degree doesn't mean you will necessarily have any interesting things to say or discuss either.