Ladies - Does actively pursuing a man you like work? Anyone got their hubby this way?

[Anonymous]

I am in my 30s, and have been traditional and conservative when it comes to men and relationships. I let the guys do the pursuing and chasing. This has worked fine in the past, but in talking with male friends and even some of my girl friends, I'm surprised by how often the guy has been pursued by the women, and it worked!

So I'm thinking about trying it. Why not? I have nothing to lose right, and may have some fun in the process, and even meet a great guy.

Any tips? How does a lady pursue a guy without coming across as aggressive, pathetic or desperate? What works, and what definitely doesn't work?

I'd love to hear your success stories and tips!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't. This seems like a great way to end up in a dead end relationship with a guy who doesn't like you that much. In my experience, even very shy men are willing to pursue a woman they are really interested in.

[Anonymous]

Why dont you ask your friends since you say they did it and had success?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't pursue the man, either. Sometimes the man becomes too passive and relaxed and doesn't ever take on the pursuing role. Would you really want a lazy guy who let's you do all the heavy lifting?

[Anonymous]

Guys like to be pursued to an extent.

[Anonymous]

Hmm, it sounds like none of you have ever pursued a man, or are interested in doing so, so your feedback isn't particularly useful to the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys like to be pursued to an extent.

Tell us more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in my 30s, and have been traditional and conservative when it comes to men and relationships. I let the guys do the pursuing and chasing. This has worked fine in the past, but in talking with male friends and even some of my girl friends, I'm surprised by how often the guy has been pursued by the women, and it worked!

So I'm thinking about trying it. Why not? I have nothing to lose right, and may have some fun in the process, and even meet a great guy.

Any tips? How does a lady pursue a guy without coming across as aggressive, pathetic or desperate? What works, and what definitely doesn't work?

I'd love to hear your success stories and tips!

I was friends with my husband at first. I had a crush on him, but he was interested in someone else (prettier than i). He then realized that he had nothing to talk to her about and that I am awesome. Voila!

When I was in my 20s my friend relentlessly chased a guy she thought was hot. They've been married 24 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in my 30s, and have been traditional and conservative when it comes to men and relationships. I let the guys do the pursuing and chasing. This has worked fine in the past, but in talking with male friends and even some of my girl friends, I'm surprised by how often the guy has been pursued by the women, and it worked!

So I'm thinking about trying it. Why not? I have nothing to lose right, and may have some fun in the process, and even meet a great guy.

Any tips? How does a lady pursue a guy without coming across as aggressive, pathetic or desperate? What works, and what definitely doesn't work?

I'd love to hear your success stories and tips!

I was friends with my husband at first. I had a crush on him, but he was interested in someone else (prettier than i). He then realized that he had nothing to talk to her about and that I am awesome. Voila!

When I was in my 20s my friend relentlessly chased a guy she thought was hot. They've been married 24 years.

For example, she'd regularly call him and ask when he was going to take her on his motorcycle, or ask her out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't pursue the man, either. Sometimes the man becomes too passive and relaxed and doesn't ever take on the pursuing role. Would you really want a lazy guy who let's you do all the heavy lifting?

And what does that say about the women who'd rather let men take on the pursuing role?

[Anonymous]

The women I know who did this have husbands who don't really want/appreciate them. My husband pursued me like I was the last woman on earth and still treats me that way.

[Anonymous]

I was friends with my dh at work. Told him I thought we had a little bit of a spark. He said we were better off friends. 6 months later I bright it up again because we were really close, and he waffled but we ended up drunkenly making out at a hh.

Been together line 8 years now, married 5, one it's and one on the way. Not only are we really happy but we've never really had particularly rough spells. It's the best relationship I've ever had by a really large margin I thunk largely because we started as friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't. This seems like a great way to end up in a dead end relationship with a guy who doesn't like you that much. In my experience, even very shy men are willing to pursue a woman they are really interested in.

+ 1.

I did have a strategy though. And it was called working my butt off to have a great education and career & cultivating friendships with a vast and diverse group of male friends & having my own hobbies/interests and a very active social life. This made me an outgoing person with different interests and a life goal. When love happened, it happened unexpectedly. My very introverted DH set his cap on me and he won me over. My independence, openness and even the fact that I was not free with my affections - everything appealed to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was friends with my dh at work. Told him I thought we had a little bit of a spark. He said we were better off friends. 6 months later I bright it up again because we were really close, and he waffled but we ended up drunkenly making out at a hh.

Been together line 8 years now, married 5, one it's and one on the way. Not only are we really happy but we've never really had particularly rough spells. It's the best relationship I've ever had by a really large margin I thunk largely because we started as friends.

Based on your typos, seems like you've been at happy hour for 8 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was friends with my dh at work. Told him I thought we had a little bit of a spark. He said we were better off friends. 6 months later I bright it up again because we were really close, and he waffled but we ended up drunkenly making out at a hh.

Been together line 8 years now, married 5, one it's and one on the way. Not only are we really happy but we've never really had particularly rough spells. It's the best relationship I've ever had by a really large margin I thunk largely because we started as friends.

There is a guy I like at work. Sexy slightly younger man, who seems kind of interested in me too, but has not made any moves. What should I say to him? We are currently working on a project together for the next 6 months, I couldn't believe my good fortune!