Do you regret being childless by choice later in life?

[Anonymous]

I don't. But I do wish I could have grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a number of middle age friends who are childless by choice. I wonder if they have regrets as old age approaches.

Nope, not at all. DH and I have always been active in our niece's and nephew's lives and that gave us what we wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't have kids until well into my 40s. I would have been fine not having them, and even now - as a parent - I love them but still know that I would have been fine never having kids.

There are other ways to have kids in your life and parenting isn't for everyone. Sadly some of us don't realize that until it's too late. I fully respect people who know themselves well enough to make the decision not to have kids.

I don't like when other people question their judgement.

I agree with this last statement. I have several friends, now in 40s and 50s, who are childless by choice. It is so annoying when people question that choice or to assume they will have regrets, which seems to happen especially to the women.

I find it interesting to see that in many cases the stories of regret mentioned on this thread by PPs actually involve the men.

I never, ever publicly question whether a childless by choice person will regret, but I will admit, and yes I know I will be seriously flamed. But I honestly think that every childless person, if they live long enough, will eventually have regrets. It just too driven in our biology, logic has absolutely nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can see how someone might not want to raise kids. But it's hard for me to imagine how an older person wouldn't want to have adult kids. I have to imagine that on some level there is a certain regret that they don't have adult kids around, even if they don't think raising children would have been worth it.

You can imagine? Uh, okay. How about you imagine the opposite, which most childfree people have confirmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am child free and don't regret it. This world and this country is not kind to women with children. Maternity leave in the US is a bad joke.
It seems like the country promotes immigration more than reproduction of its own women. Pumping breast milk at work - you got to be kidding me, it's cruel to women and babies that are separated from their moms at such young age. So no, no regrets.

Really, so you decided not to have kids because of maternity leave and finding it difficult to pump at work?

Perhaps it's one of many reasons. What, is that not enough of an explanation for you?

[Anonymous]

For the people saying "who will look after you in later life" you might want to search out the recent article detailing how more people between 18-34 are still living with parents than are getting married and having kids of their own. I'm not judging either of those life phases, just pointing out that the days of the younger generation caring for the older are well on their way out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see how someone might not want to raise kids. But it's hard for me to imagine how an older person wouldn't want to have adult kids. I have to imagine that on some level there is a certain regret that they don't have adult kids around, even if they don't think raising children would have been worth it.

You can imagine? Uh, okay. How about you imagine the opposite, which most childfree people have confirmed.

Why in the world would a person not desire to have a relationship with an adult child of their own?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't have kids until well into my 40s. I would have been fine not having them, and even now - as a parent - I love them but still know that I would have been fine never having kids.

There are other ways to have kids in your life and parenting isn't for everyone. Sadly some of us don't realize that until it's too late. I fully respect people who know themselves well enough to make the decision not to have kids.

I don't like when other people question their judgement.

I agree with this last statement. I have several friends, now in 40s and 50s, who are childless by choice. It is so annoying when people question that choice or to assume they will have regrets, which seems to happen especially to the women.

I find it interesting to see that in many cases the stories of regret mentioned on this thread by PPs actually involve the men.

I never, ever publicly question whether a childless by choice person will regret, but I will admit, and yes I know I will be seriously flamed. But I honestly think that every childless person, if they live long enough, will eventually have regrets. It just too driven in our biology, logic has absolutely nothing to do with it.

The same as people that have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am child free and don't regret it. This world and this country is not kind to women with children. Maternity leave in the US is a bad joke.
It seems like the country promotes immigration more than reproduction of its own women. Pumping breast milk at work - you got to be kidding me, it's cruel to women and babies that are separated from their moms at such young age. So no, no regrets.

Really, so you decided not to have kids because of maternity leave and finding it difficult to pump at work?

Perhaps it's one of many reasons. What, is that not enough of an explanation for you?

Because maternity leave and breastfeeding are such small, minuscule stages of what is involved in having offspring for the rest of your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see how someone might not want to raise kids. But it's hard for me to imagine how an older person wouldn't want to have adult kids. I have to imagine that on some level there is a certain regret that they don't have adult kids around, even if they don't think raising children would have been worth it.

You can imagine? Uh, okay. How about you imagine the opposite, which most childfree people have confirmed.

Why in the world would a person not desire to have a relationship with an adult child of their own?

Are you kidding? You think that's the only important relationship in a person's life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A selfish reason to have kids though, no disputing that.

For all those who 'pretend' to be Mom/Dad for the day, why bother? Do you feel you have to do so in order to be seen as worthwhile? I never pretend any kid I look after is mine, nor do I feel the need to.

I don't pretend to be mom at all. I love being an aunt and enjoy spending time with the kids. If their parents get a nice day off while I take the kids to the movies and the park, that's great for all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am child free and don't regret it. This world and this country is not kind to women with children. Maternity leave in the US is a bad joke.
It seems like the country promotes immigration more than reproduction of its own women. Pumping breast milk at work - you got to be kidding me, it's cruel to women and babies that are separated from their moms at such young age. So no, no regrets.

Really, so you decided not to have kids because of maternity leave and finding it difficult to pump at work?

Perhaps it's one of many reasons. What, is that not enough of an explanation for you?

Because maternity leave and breastfeeding are such small, minuscule stages of what is involved in having offspring for the rest of your life.

Okay, why aren't you currently doing all those end all be all activities with your children, instead of spending your Sunday on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't have kids until well into my 40s. I would have been fine not having them, and even now - as a parent - I love them but still know that I would have been fine never having kids.

There are other ways to have kids in your life and parenting isn't for everyone. Sadly some of us don't realize that until it's too late. I fully respect people who know themselves well enough to make the decision not to have kids.

I don't like when other people question their judgement.

I agree with this last statement. I have several friends, now in 40s and 50s, who are childless by choice. It is so annoying when people question that choice or to assume they will have regrets, which seems to happen especially to the women.

I find it interesting to see that in many cases the stories of regret mentioned on this thread by PPs actually involve the men.

I never, ever publicly question whether a childless by choice person will regret, but I will admit, and yes I know I will be seriously flamed. But I honestly think that every childless person, if they live long enough, will eventually have regrets. It just too driven in our biology, logic has absolutely nothing to do with it.

The same as people that have children.

I'm not sure what you mean by this? Are you saying that most people with children will have regrets about it when they get old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am child free and don't regret it. This world and this country is not kind to women with children. Maternity leave in the US is a bad joke.
It seems like the country promotes immigration more than reproduction of its own women. Pumping breast milk at work - you got to be kidding me, it's cruel to women and babies that are separated from their moms at such young age. So no, no regrets.

Really, so you decided not to have kids because of maternity leave and finding it difficult to pump at work?

Perhaps it's one of many reasons. What, is that not enough of an explanation for you?

Because maternity leave and breastfeeding are such small, minuscule stages of what is involved in having offspring for the rest of your life.

Okay, why aren't you currently doing all those end all be all activities with your children, instead of spending your Sunday on the internet.

My kids are high school age. I don't spend my entire Sundays with them anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't have kids until well into my 40s. I would have been fine not having them, and even now - as a parent - I love them but still know that I would have been fine never having kids.

There are other ways to have kids in your life and parenting isn't for everyone. Sadly some of us don't realize that until it's too late. I fully respect people who know themselves well enough to make the decision not to have kids.

I don't like when other people question their judgement.

I agree with this last statement. I have several friends, now in 40s and 50s, who are childless by choice. It is so annoying when people question that choice or to assume they will have regrets, which seems to happen especially to the women.

I find it interesting to see that in many cases the stories of regret mentioned on this thread by PPs actually involve the men.

I never, ever publicly question whether a childless by choice person will regret, but I will admit, and yes I know I will be seriously flamed. But I honestly think that every childless person, if they live long enough, will eventually have regrets. It just too driven in our biology, logic has absolutely nothing to do with it.

The same as people that have children.

I'm not sure what you mean by this? Are you saying that most people with children will have regrets about it when they get old?

I'm sure they will have regrets. Like, why did they spend their Sundays on an anonymous forum instead of spending time with their kids.