DH relatives forgetting that I kept my name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My aunt addresses my Christmas card to Mr. and Mrs. Larlo Smith. I don't even get my own first name.

So if anyone should be butthurt it should be me, not you.

Get over it.

Well, this was the old fashioned "correct" way of doing things. That time is long gone, but I don't waste time worrying about it. And I'm the person who had to teach my parents to still write me checks in my name.
Some people just don't care and/or do care and want everything to be so old fashioned "correct" and/or want to be passive aggressive.

I find it easier to just ignore all of them and do my own thing. They can do theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt addresses my Christmas card to Mr. and Mrs. Larlo Smith. I don't even get my own first name.

So if anyone should be butthurt it should be me, not you.

Get over it.

Well, this was the old fashioned "correct" way of doing things. That time is long gone, but I don't waste time worrying about it. And I'm the person who had to teach my parents to still write me checks in my name.
Some people just don't care and/or do care and want everything to be so old fashioned "correct" and/or want to be passive aggressive.

I find it easier to just ignore all of them and do my own thing. They can do theirs.

I still address envelopes that way because it is correct. It's Mr. and Mrs. John C. Doe. That is the correct way. If you want to look like you were raised by illiterate imbeciles with no understanding of etiquette, then by all means continue to address correspondence however you choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt addresses my Christmas card to Mr. and Mrs. Larlo Smith. I don't even get my own first name.

So if anyone should be butthurt it should be me, not you.

Get over it.

Well, this was the old fashioned "correct" way of doing things. That time is long gone, but I don't waste time worrying about it. And I'm the person who had to teach my parents to still write me checks in my name.
Some people just don't care and/or do care and want everything to be so old fashioned "correct" and/or want to be passive aggressive.

I find it easier to just ignore all of them and do my own thing. They can do theirs.

Old fashioned=sexist. Why should we approve of these things? Why should we overlook and just not make a big deal out of anything? Why is it ok to be a pushover if you are a women? My name is my name, and I ahve every right to demand that I be called by my name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt addresses my Christmas card to Mr. and Mrs. Larlo Smith. I don't even get my own first name.

So if anyone should be butthurt it should be me, not you.

Get over it.

Well, this was the old fashioned "correct" way of doing things. That time is long gone, but I don't waste time worrying about it. And I'm the person who had to teach my parents to still write me checks in my name.
Some people just don't care and/or do care and want everything to be so old fashioned "correct" and/or want to be passive aggressive.

I find it easier to just ignore all of them and do my own thing. They can do theirs.

I still address envelopes that way because it is correct. It's Mr. and Mrs. John C. Doe. That is the correct way. If you want to look like you were raised by illiterate imbeciles with no understanding of etiquette, then by all means continue to address correspondence however you choose.

That is not the correct way in 21st century. That is correct way for mysogynist a** holes who stick to some old fashioned way. You might be literate, but you are an imbecile. Should we forbid women to vote as well? Hence fort I will address my letters to Mrs and Mr. Jane Doe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's very annoying. My own parents, my brother, and just about everyone in DH's family "forget." I just had a book published is November, name prominently on the cover, sent copies to everyone, and still they sent Christmas stuff to "Larlo and Larla Lastname." Clearly, there's a whole lot of passive-aggressive going on.

Or they might just think you use your given name professionally and married name in your personal life. Why assume the worst?

+1 I use my maiden name professionally because I was already published with multiple degrees before getting married. I answer to either in any setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yes you can cash those checks but you instead choose to bitch.

This is what happens when you follow feminists dummies. You become a feminist dummy. Don't be a follower.

Yeah, I'm sorry but if you can't figure out how to cash your own checks you are simpleminded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt addresses my Christmas card to Mr. and Mrs. Larlo Smith. I don't even get my own first name.

So if anyone should be butthurt it should be me, not you.

Get over it.

Well, this was the old fashioned "correct" way of doing things. That time is long gone, but I don't waste time worrying about it. And I'm the person who had to teach my parents to still write me checks in my name.
Some people just don't care and/or do care and want everything to be so old fashioned "correct" and/or want to be passive aggressive.

I find it easier to just ignore all of them and do my own thing. They can do theirs.

I still address envelopes that way because it is correct. It's Mr. and Mrs. John C. Doe. That is the correct way. If you want to look like you were raised by illiterate imbeciles with no understanding of etiquette, then by all means continue to address correspondence however you choose.

That is not the correct way in 21st century. That is correct way for mysogynist a** holes who stick to some old fashioned way. You might be literate, but you are an imbecile. Should we forbid women to vote as well? Hence fort I will address my letters to Mrs and Mr. Jane Doe.

Baby, get off the wine. Or get laid. Or something, you weren't raised correctly, it's not your fault, no one blames you- but get with the program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt addresses my Christmas card to Mr. and Mrs. Larlo Smith. I don't even get my own first name.

So if anyone should be butthurt it should be me, not you.

Get over it.

Well, this was the old fashioned "correct" way of doing things. That time is long gone, but I don't waste time worrying about it. And I'm the person who had to teach my parents to still write me checks in my name.
Some people just don't care and/or do care and want everything to be so old fashioned "correct" and/or want to be passive aggressive.

I find it easier to just ignore all of them and do my own thing. They can do theirs.

I still address envelopes that way because it is correct. It's Mr. and Mrs. John C. Doe. That is the correct way. If you want to look like you were raised by illiterate imbeciles with no understanding of etiquette, then by all means continue to address correspondence however you choose.

That is not the correct way in 21st century. That is correct way for mysogynist a** holes who stick to some old fashioned way. You might be literate, but you are an imbecile. Should we forbid women to vote as well? Hence fort I will address my letters to Mrs and Mr. Jane Doe.

Baby, get off the wine. Or get laid. Or something, you weren't raised correctly, it's not your fault, no one blames you- but get with the program.

You get off your old fashioned idiotic way and go lick some floors for some men. I have no faults in this situation, you do. It is sad and pathetic to be subersvient to men in this day and age. I was raised in ways you can't even imagine, and not here, in old blue blood European family, I was raised to tell people like you that you live a sad, misguided existence. I have manners like you never heard of. But, I treat idiots like you as you should be treated. Why don't you get a tooth brush and scrub your floors because your husband told you to? I am a woman, hear me roar, I let you whimper and beg.

[Anonymous]

why didn't you take his last name?

the whole "I'm not taking his last name because I'm my own person!" is so stupid. give it up already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt addresses my Christmas card to Mr. and Mrs. Larlo Smith. I don't even get my own first name.

So if anyone should be butthurt it should be me, not you.

Get over it.

Well, this was the old fashioned "correct" way of doing things. That time is long gone, but I don't waste time worrying about it. And I'm the person who had to teach my parents to still write me checks in my name.
Some people just don't care and/or do care and want everything to be so old fashioned "correct" and/or want to be passive aggressive.

I find it easier to just ignore all of them and do my own thing. They can do theirs.

I still address envelopes that way because it is correct. It's Mr. and Mrs. John C. Doe. That is the correct way. If you want to look like you were raised by illiterate imbeciles with no understanding of etiquette, then by all means continue to address correspondence however you choose.

That is not the correct way in 21st century. That is correct way for mysogynist a** holes who stick to some old fashioned way. You might be literate, but you are an imbecile. Should we forbid women to vote as well? Hence fort I will address my letters to Mrs and Mr. Jane Doe.

Baby, get off the wine. Or get laid. Or something, you weren't raised correctly, it's not your fault, no one blames you- but get with the program.

You get off your old fashioned idiotic way and go lick some floors for some men. I have no faults in this situation, you do. It is sad and pathetic to be subersvient to men in this day and age. I was raised in ways you can't even imagine, and not here, in old blue blood European family, I was raised to tell people like you that you live a sad, misguided existence. I have manners like you never heard of. But, I treat idiots like you as you should be treated. Why don't you get a tooth brush and scrub your floors because your husband told you to? I am a woman, hear me roar, I let you whimper and beg.

He likes it when I whimper and beg?.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt addresses my Christmas card to Mr. and Mrs. Larlo Smith. I don't even get my own first name.

So if anyone should be butthurt it should be me, not you.

Get over it.

Well, this was the old fashioned "correct" way of doing things. That time is long gone, but I don't waste time worrying about it. And I'm the person who had to teach my parents to still write me checks in my name.
Some people just don't care and/or do care and want everything to be so old fashioned "correct" and/or want to be passive aggressive.

I find it easier to just ignore all of them and do my own thing. They can do theirs.

My grandmother would do this and I would tell her I couldn't deposit the check as my name wasn't Mrs. Stan Smith. It was Jennifer Adams as I didn't even change my name.

After telling her I am not Mrs. Stan Smith, she would STILL write checks out like that. Honestly her $25 wasn't worth the principal of her disrespect and I wouldn't cask the checks.
She did finally partially "get it" as checks started to come as Jennifer Smith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt addresses my Christmas card to Mr. and Mrs. Larlo Smith. I don't even get my own first name.

So if anyone should be butthurt it should be me, not you.

Get over it.

Well, this was the old fashioned "correct" way of doing things. That time is long gone, but I don't waste time worrying about it. And I'm the person who had to teach my parents to still write me checks in my name.
Some people just don't care and/or do care and want everything to be so old fashioned "correct" and/or want to be passive aggressive.

I find it easier to just ignore all of them and do my own thing. They can do theirs.

I still address envelopes that way because it is correct. It's Mr. and Mrs. John C. Doe. That is the correct way. If you want to look like you were raised by illiterate imbeciles with no understanding of etiquette, then by all means continue to address correspondence however you choose.

That is not the correct way in 21st century. That is correct way for mysogynist a** holes who stick to some old fashioned way. You might be literate, but you are an imbecile. Should we forbid women to vote as well? Hence fort I will address my letters to Mrs and Mr. Jane Doe.

Baby, get off the wine. Or get laid. Or something, you weren't raised correctly, it's not your fault, no one blames you- but get with the program.

You get off your old fashioned idiotic way and go lick some floors for some men. I have no faults in this situation, you do. It is sad and pathetic to be subersvient to men in this day and age. I was raised in ways you can't even imagine, and not here, in old blue blood European family, I was raised to tell people like you that you live a sad, misguided existence. I have manners like you never heard of. But, I treat idiots like you as you should be treated. Why don't you get a tooth brush and scrub your floors because your husband told you to? I am a woman, hear me roar, I let you whimper and beg.

He likes it when I whimper and beg?.

It is not the correct way in 2016. Women are now allowed to have their OWN identity!!!!! I address letters Mrs. and Mr. Lara and Larlo Smith. If they have different last names, I always put the woman first.

Welcome to the 21st century!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with everyone that you should have no problem cashing the child cps. If by some chance you have a problem at your bank, you can sign a standard form that allows you to specify an alternate name you go by. People who have odd unrelated (to their actual names) nicknames or use a stage name or otherwise have an alias they are known by, do this all the time. Once you have this form on record, the bank should have no additional problems cashing a check.

The other issue is your choice to make your name a battle with your in-laws. I understand that you chose to keep your name and I respect that. However, there are many older folks still stuck with the concept that a wife takes the husband's name and they are not going to change. You can't make them change . You can accept that they'll call you by your husband's name and move on, or you can make it a family battle and immediately create tension anytime you encounter your in-laws. This is your choice. Many choose to not make this a battle, and move on. But ultimately, you are the only one who is going to suffer from this negative energy created by being affronted by this. No one else will care as much about this issue as you.

OMG NO!!!

Why is it that she has to accept what someone will call her??? I find that disgustingly disrespectful. It is like when you are in a guest in someone's house, you follow what THEY set. If they don't take off their shoes inside their home even though you hate wearing shoes inside, you follow their request.
YOU call someone what THEY set to be called.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt addresses my Christmas card to Mr. and Mrs. Larlo Smith. I don't even get my own first name.

So if anyone should be butthurt it should be me, not you.

Get over it.

Well, this was the old fashioned "correct" way of doing things. That time is long gone, but I don't waste time worrying about it. And I'm the person who had to teach my parents to still write me checks in my name.
Some people just don't care and/or do care and want everything to be so old fashioned "correct" and/or want to be passive aggressive.

I find it easier to just ignore all of them and do my own thing. They can do theirs.

I still address envelopes that way because it is correct. It's Mr. and Mrs. John C. Doe. That is the correct way. If you want to look like you were raised by illiterate imbeciles with no understanding of etiquette, then by all means continue to address correspondence however you choose.

That is not the correct way in 21st century. That is correct way for mysogynist a** holes who stick to some old fashioned way. You might be literate, but you are an imbecile. Should we forbid women to vote as well? Hence fort I will address my letters to Mrs and Mr. Jane Doe.

Baby, get off the wine. Or get laid. Or something, you weren't raised correctly, it's not your fault, no one blames you- but get with the program.

You get off your old fashioned idiotic way and go lick some floors for some men. I have no faults in this situation, you do. It is sad and pathetic to be subersvient to men in this day and age. I was raised in ways you can't even imagine, and not here, in old blue blood European family, I was raised to tell people like you that you live a sad, misguided existence. I have manners like you never heard of. But, I treat idiots like you as you should be treated. Why don't you get a tooth brush and scrub your floors because your husband told you to? I am a woman, hear me roar, I let you whimper and beg.

He likes it when I whimper and beg?.

It is not the correct way in 2016. Women are now allowed to have their OWN identity!!!!! I address letters Mrs. and Mr. Lara and Larlo Smith. If they have different last names, I always put the woman first.

Welcome to the 21st century!

Amazingly, I can have my own identity and share a name with my husband and children. I'm sorry you can't manage that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt addresses my Christmas card to Mr. and Mrs. Larlo Smith. I don't even get my own first name.

So if anyone should be butthurt it should be me, not you.

Get over it.

Well, this was the old fashioned "correct" way of doing things. That time is long gone, but I don't waste time worrying about it. And I'm the person who had to teach my parents to still write me checks in my name.
Some people just don't care and/or do care and want everything to be so old fashioned "correct" and/or want to be passive aggressive.

I find it easier to just ignore all of them and do my own thing. They can do theirs.

I still address envelopes that way because it is correct. It's Mr. and Mrs. John C. Doe. That is the correct way. If you want to look like you were raised by illiterate imbeciles with no understanding of etiquette, then by all means continue to address correspondence however you choose.

That is not the correct way in 21st century. That is correct way for mysogynist a** holes who stick to some old fashioned way. You might be literate, but you are an imbecile. Should we forbid women to vote as well? Hence fort I will address my letters to Mrs and Mr. Jane Doe.

Baby, get off the wine. Or get laid. Or something, you weren't raised correctly, it's not your fault, no one blames you- but get with the program.

You get off your old fashioned idiotic way and go lick some floors for some men. I have no faults in this situation, you do. It is sad and pathetic to be subersvient to men in this day and age. I was raised in ways you can't even imagine, and not here, in old blue blood European family, I was raised to tell people like you that you live a sad, misguided existence. I have manners like you never heard of. But, I treat idiots like you as you should be treated. Why don't you get a tooth brush and scrub your floors because your husband told you to? I am a woman, hear me roar, I let you whimper and beg.

He likes it when I whimper and beg?.

It is not the correct way in 2016. Women are now allowed to have their OWN identity!!!!! I address letters Mrs. and Mr. Lara and Larlo Smith. If they have different last names, I always put the woman first.

Welcome to the 21st century!

Amazingly, I can have my own identity and share a name with my husband and children. I'm sorry you can't manage that.

NP. Why is this so difficult to understand? Just because you choose follow that tradition, doesn't mean other women are obligated to. Just because you are comfortable with it, doesn't mean other women are. I respect your right to change your surname upon marriage and I expect that you would respect my right not to. Addressing others as they would prefer to be addressed is basic courtesy.