Do you miss your AP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's actually me and Gould.

Will you go out with me? I'll be loyal.....enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every day.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men and women are humans whose motivations are far more complex than a binary gender sorting algorithm.

Yes, meaning in life is a factor but to suggest all women and men are wired by deterministic sexual biology and social constraints is absurd.

Life would be quite boring.

Everybody want to believe they are different.

It's demoralizing to realize you are a cliche, that a trained psychologist could have predicted your future infidelity with a <30 minute interview.

But ... Sadly ... Men/women follow a pattern ... You are not as complex as you wish you were.

Stop trying to be so complex, something you are not. Just go to therapy and find out why you keep trying to be complex/different, accept yourself for who you are.

[Anonymous]

We are all different and complex individuals. Should you need a sorting hat, I'm a Griffindor who speaks parseltongue on occasion, but les Harry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are all different and complex individuals. Should you need a sorting hat, I'm a Griffindor who speaks parseltongue on occasion, but les Harry.

Your just like all the other gryffindors.

[Anonymous]

Funny. Your and Griffindor would seem to cancel each other out, but I have you by the snitch.

[Anonymous]

Both miss each other very much. Hoping that one day we can make it permanent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I miss the connection, the intellectual match, witty games we'd play that others wouldn't get. Add to this the sexual match and teasing, it was all too good to be true. In the end I think I was told what I wanted to hear.

I'm the PP who said no and it was about missing the feelings. What's bolded is exactly what happened with me. I made my AP into everything I wanted/needed at that time. The things he said, he did, I manipulated them into what I wanted. Therefore, of course we had an amazing connection...of course he was my soulmate...because he was a fantasy transferred onto a real person. My H couldn't compete with what I'd built up in my head.

Nobody could. Are you still married? What I would love to know is where these people get the time and energy for this stuff and get away with it.

Obviously they find the time by stealing it from their spouse and kids, yet another reason affairs and the people that get involved in them are so despicable

[Anonymous]

Don't miss him but hint of him everyday - usually with a lot of swear words following his name. Really hate the man. Just happy knowing in time he will get his due. Never trust a liar. Lesson #1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I miss the teasing and flirting, the cat and mouse game of trying to figure out if the other person is interested, daring them to make the first move, trying to hold back my own desire.

The actual affair? Not so much. But the feeling of chasing and being chased, yes, absolutely.

This is why I think sometimes after they're caught the cheating spouse is suddenly once again wildly in love with the betrayed spouse and desperate to win them back. That push-pull dynamic is reintroduced to the marriage whereas before the affair it might have felt stale and boring.

This is what I don't get. I did not find myself wildly in love with betrayed spouse again after I was caught. Does that really happen? How many cheaters really get that HOLY SHIT, I love my spouse moment? Or is it that they just don't want to deal with the hassle & pain of divorce/loss of seeing children daily/stress on children?

Men love their spouse... women don't love anybody including themselves ... which is why they cheat... they are trying to "fill the abyss".

What? Women cheat to fill the abyss but men cheat --- because they really love their spouses? Seriously?

Yes. Read Frankl it will explain the need to find happiness "meaning in life" and how people fill the abyss with sex, drugs, alcohol, material things. Women just need that next man to "be happy" since they can't find it in themselves.

Men that cheat are just selfish pigs... they take the window seat, eat the big piece of chicken, throw their laundry on the floor, forget their wife's birthday... they love their wife but they just want what they want and don't care about how their wants (which they call "needs") hurt others.

"Ah-ha moment". Hits the nail on the head for me and my spouse (we both cheated at different stages in life, btw).

[Anonymous]

Hell yes. I want my cake. I want to have a happy easy married life with a slice of passion on the side that my marriage has never included. I want to have that "me" time that involves no children, no work, no husband, no chores. I want that sex that make me feel sexy, not used. I want that connection. I want that friendship. I want that anticipation and eagerness for sex.

Given the reality of life, I don't have that and won't have that.

[Anonymous]

I miss her. In the last month, I dreamed about her twice. But I wonder if the time is runing out for both of us. I certainly feel that I am getting old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss her. In the last month, I dreamed about her twice. But I wonder if the time is runing out for both of us. I certainly feel that I am getting old.

And so what are you going to do about it? Call her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss her. In the last month, I dreamed about her twice. But I wonder if the time is runing out for both of us. I certainly feel that I am getting old.

I see my AP getting older and I think he's just getting more handsome. I don't think age will kill the attraction. I'm pretty sure when he's old and frail I'll still want to jump his bones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I miss the connection, the intellectual match, witty games we'd play that others wouldn't get. Add to this the sexual match and teasing, it was all too good to be true. In the end I think I was told what I wanted to hear.

I'm the PP who said no and it was about missing the feelings. What's bolded is exactly what happened with me. I made my AP into everything I wanted/needed at that time. The things he said, he did, I manipulated them into what I wanted. Therefore, of course we had an amazing connection...of course he was my soulmate...because he was a fantasy transferred onto a real person. My H couldn't compete with what I'd built up in my head.

Nobody could. Are you still married? What I would love to know is where these people get the time and energy for this stuff and get away with it.

Obviously they find the time by stealing it from their spouse and kids, yet another reason affairs and the people that get involved in them are so despicable

Work travel. I'm out of town anyway. I can spend my evening watching bad movies alone in my hotel room, or I can spend them with an AP. Doesn't take time away from DH or my job, either way. And no, I don't arrange trips for this purpose, just take advantage of opportunities as they arise.