Do you miss your AP?

[Anonymous]

*catfishing

[Anonymous]

Every time I listen to my playlist and times when I don't.

[Anonymous]

He calls me once a month. I miss him when I hear his voice and for a few days after. Haven't seen him in 6 months.

[Anonymous]

I miss the thought of him but not the actual person anymore. After checking up on him recently on Facebook, I learned that he's a huge anti-vaxxer and conspiracy theorist, so that ended my reminiscing real quick.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I think about him every day multiple times a day. Text him a few times a month. When something really great happens I want to tell him. When I'm in a low place I want to tell him. Thought I had it figured out but I can't end it

[Anonymous]

I think it's best one of us moved away. It would be hard to end and not try one last time.

[Anonymous]

I think about him every day. Probably always will. A mixture of regret, anger at myself, and sadness that I'll never feel that way again or be that desired again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think about him every day. Probably always will. A mixture of regret, anger at myself, and sadness that I'll never feel that way again or be that desired again.

You've been reading too many romance novels. Never is a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, no. It makes me sick to think about the things I did in the A that I thought were acceptable. The mental gymnastics I had were epic. And my AP? He was either as messed up as me, or using me for an ego boost. The question should be, do you miss the way their AP made you feel? That's probably more relevant and can be addressed in therapy.

I read this statement a lot in books about affairs, that it's not really the AP you love but the way they made you feel. I don't understand it. What is the difference between love and feeling loved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, no. It makes me sick to think about the things I did in the A that I thought were acceptable. The mental gymnastics I had were epic. And my AP? He was either as messed up as me, or using me for an ego boost. The question should be, do you miss the way their AP made you feel? That's probably more relevant and can be addressed in therapy.

I read this statement a lot in books about affairs, that it's not really the AP you love but the way they made you feel. I don't understand it. What is the difference between love and feeling loved?

Man here and let me try to answer. Even in the most shallow situations I have had with women, everyone wants to talk, be listened to, have their thoughts valued. APs do this. They provide an outlet and make you feel special.

"I could share my emotions with him, feel desired, the way he looked at me, etc."

This is different than love.

[Anonymous]

I miss the way he made me feel. He himself is not someone I would want to partner with long term. But he was very sensitive, affectionate and in tune with his feelings. An all around nice guy and he made me feel fabulous about myself. So I miss feeling good, just not him specifically.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I miss the feelings he generated. I really miss his body (dh is rather sedentary and it shows). I miss his relaxed attitude that do doesn't have. I miss the feeling of wanting somebody. I miss his friendship and his laugh.

However, dh is a great father. Reliable provider. Good at doing stuff. I know he's a great person. I just lack any sort of desire for him.

[Anonymous]

The last two posts are exactly what 8:08 is talking about. They must have been great guys if they were sleeping with other men's wives. And of course if the same thing happened to them.....

[Anonymous]

I miss the first few months. Exploring each other. Anticipation. After thst, it settles down and is more hassle than its worth. Affairs should end after one season and go out on top

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He calls me once a month. I miss him when I hear his voice and for a few days after. Haven't seen him in 6 months.

I would end the calls - why are you still talking if you haven't seen him in 6 months. He is totally dragging you along - he's not with you but he wants to keep that hope alive. Yuck - make a clean break you will be so much happier!!!!