My cleaning lady stole my engagement ring (and other jewelry) - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are making me nervous about letting my cleaning person come while we're not home. So far she's only come on days DH works at home.

Do your cleaners have a key? Do you think someone else might have gotten access to the key?

Cleaning ladies, if they're going to steal, can do it whether you're home or not.

[Anonymous]

Stealing a jewelry box is pretty obvious. Nothing is impossible but it sounds highly unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a jewelery box like a large decorative box that would be obvious if it went missing? or a small box- like a pair of earrings were gifted in?

If it held a watch, it wasn't that small. Either way, as you are still with us OP, and this was treasured family/husband gifted sentimental jewelry, I'm sure that as an educated intelligent individual you had it insured. Why exactly haven't you filed that police report?

It's not a large decorative jewelry box. It is about 4x4 inches, black and nondescript. If anyone wanted to "smuggle" it out, so to speak, it would not be terribly difficult to do so.

No, these items are not insured. (And yes, I feel foolish about that too.)

I think I'll go with the suggestion of asking the cleaning lady whether she's seen it and noting in passing that I intend on filing a police report. And then file one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why everyone is acting like the OP is completely ridiculous. I love my cleaning lady and trust her implicitly, but my parents and grandparents (who live/d in a country where having domestic help is common) have had items of value stolen by their employees. It's not uncommon. I'm NOT saying that all, or even most, cleaning ladies/housekeepers/babysitters do this - I'm just saying that it's not totally ridiculous speculation to suggest that it might happen.

OP, I would check with your kids (if you haven't already) and if you have teenagers, ask if they've had friends over recently. It's unlikely they'd steal from you, but you never know. I wouldn't make any accusations, but let the cleaning lady and anyone else who has been to the house recently (including your cousin, kids' friends, etc.) know that you're missing your jewelry box and ask if they've seen it. I'd probably mention in passing that you've filed a police report ("it's probably just me being an idiot, but I filed a police report just in case.") Also double and triple check anywhere it could possibly be, and then check places you think it couldn't possibly be. I once convinced myself that I left my phone in Starbucks, went back and didn't find it, decided it had been stolen from there, panicked, and then found it later that day in my pajama drawer.

I wish with all my heart that I find these items in a random place and can have a good laugh/cry about it afterwards. I have a four year old and a 1 year old. I already ransacked the four year old's room. I also asked her about and she said, "I'm not a stealer." haha. 1 year old can barely walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You report to the police so that you can file an insurance claim.

Yep, probably what we're going to do.

[Anonymous]

OP - rent a metal detector and get to work. Do this before you accuse your cleaning lady whom I doubt took it. There's a high likelihood that you misplaced it, or your "close cousin" took the jewelry and not your cleaning lady who has been working for you for 3 years.

An Engagement ring and other jewelry is quite significant! If you were her, would you dare come back to the scene of THAT crime? Hell no I wouldn't. I'd quit and change my phone number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why everyone is acting like the OP is completely ridiculous. I love my cleaning lady and trust her implicitly, but my parents and grandparents (who live/d in a country where having domestic help is common) have had items of value stolen by their employees. It's not uncommon. I'm NOT saying that all, or even most, cleaning ladies/housekeepers/babysitters do this - I'm just saying that it's not totally ridiculous speculation to suggest that it might happen.

OP, I would check with your kids (if you haven't already) and if you have teenagers, ask if they've had friends over recently. It's unlikely they'd steal from you, but you never know. I wouldn't make any accusations, but let the cleaning lady and anyone else who has been to the house recently (including your cousin, kids' friends, etc.) know that you're missing your jewelry box and ask if they've seen it. I'd probably mention in passing that you've filed a police report ("it's probably just me being an idiot, but I filed a police report just in case.") Also double and triple check anywhere it could possibly be, and then check places you think it couldn't possibly be. I once convinced myself that I left my phone in Starbucks, went back and didn't find it, decided it had been stolen from there, panicked, and then found it later that day in my pajama drawer.

I wish with all my heart that I find these items in a random place and can have a good laugh/cry about it afterwards. I have a four year old and a 1 year old. I already ransacked the four year old's room. I also asked her about and she said, "I'm not a stealer." haha. 1 year old can barely walk.

Hold up! You have a 4 year old and a 1 year old and you are not at all suspecting the 4 year old because she said "I'm not a stealer" ?? Jesus christ OP. It's probably your 4 year old or her most recent playdate companion.

[Anonymous]

A 4 year old would totally grab a black jewelry box and play with it and stash it somewhere. They also would not view that as stealing. It's in your house OP. She's not going to be stupid enough to take your engagement ring in a jewelry box which you would and did immediately notice was gone. She would have taken some other jewelry she has seen that you never wear if she were going to take anything at all. Pull your head out of your butt, it was someone in your family and it will pop up in your house eventually.

[Anonymous]

Yes the 4 year old!

When my now 13 year old DS was either 3 or 4, he took DH's wedding band and brought it to school with him. We couldn't find it anywhere. One week later his teacher approached me and asked "is this ring yours?" ......

[Anonymous]

OP, one of my kids loved to pilfer jewelry when he was 3 & 4yo - he would hide it in his closet as part of some game where he was trying to catch the crooks. I'd put my money on the 4yo as the thief. Someone who has been working with you for 3 years would be less likely to snatch an entire box of jewelry when they could simply pilfer the contents.

BTW you can go ahead and file a police report, but it's essentially meaningless if you didn't insure the items. It's not like the police are going to go on a manhunt for jewelry that you can't even document was stolen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a jewelery box like a large decorative box that would be obvious if it went missing? or a small box- like a pair of earrings were gifted in?

If it held a watch, it wasn't that small. Either way, as you are still with us OP, and this was treasured family/husband gifted sentimental jewelry, I'm sure that as an educated intelligent individual you had it insured. Why exactly haven't you filed that police report?

It's not a large decorative jewelry box. It is about 4x4 inches, black and nondescript. If anyone wanted to "smuggle" it out, so to speak, it would not be terribly difficult to do so.

No, these items are not insured. (And yes, I feel foolish about that too.)

I think I'll go with the suggestion of asking the cleaning lady whether she's seen it and noting in passing that I intend on filing a police report. And then file one.

Okay. So now you have security cameras all over your house except for the one place that you left your UNINSURED jewelry sitting out.....and you are willing to ruin another persons career and reputation over this- when you have exactly zero proof that she did anything wrong? Wow. Ruthless.

[Anonymous]

Put some fake jewelry in there and get a camera. Catch her in the act.

Also, file a police report.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put some fake jewelry in there and get a camera. Catch her in the act.

Also, file a police report.

Or
Look every single place in your house your 4 year old would have stashed it. Because that is your culprit.

[Anonymous]

Does your cleaner bring assistants with her? Maybe she brought someone temporary one week and they swiped it? One of my cleaner's assistants stole a few items of clothing from me over the course of a few weeks. After searching everywhere for them, I asked her if she had seen them and she knew immediately that the assistant had taken them. Apparently she was getting similar questions from other clients.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I always end up finding my "missing" jewelry and feel bad thinking who may have taken it etc...
Keep looking out for it.

+1,000,900

Then I feel so bad later that I thought so badly about kind, hard-working people.